The Grand National Championships

College Football Teams Give Love a Good Name.

2011-07-28T23:04:00.000-05:00

Okay, so posting this on a seemingly dead blog may not be the smartest tactic that I've taken. But the fact of the matter? I love college football, and every single team has a reason for you to fall in love with it. (Yes, even Ohio State, what with their ease of cheap shots that can be fired betwixt and upon their proverbial nethers). And it is both necessary and proper to post this.

And for the kids? Count how many terrible jokes I make. I guarantee you there will be at least 5.

Atlantic Coast
Atlantic Division
Boston College: Considering how well their offense was, you can forgive me for going back to the linebacker well. Because for one thing? Luke Kuechly. Still awesome at pretty much everything. And for the other thing? Inspirational linebacker Mark Herzlich wasn't second in tackles. It was Kevin Pierre-Louis. And he's back. The run D will be beastly.
Clemson: For the better part of the past decade, the Tigers have found themselves at their best when the reigns were handed to a rookie quarterback. From Kyle Parker to Charlie Whitehurst, heck even the immoral Cullen Harper was strong his first year with the reigns. So, if you want to talk about a sleeper all-ACC quarterback? Your list begins and ends with Tajh Boyd.
Florida State: Do I believe in Florida State? When you have a deep running backs corp that adds high school superman James Wilder into the mix running behind a deep and experienced line, that's a plus. When you have a front four that's anchored by a monster in Brandon Jenkins and a potential new Fairley hotness in Tank Carradine, that's a plus. And when you have a secondary returning everybody that was torched in Norman last year, that's a plus. Do I believe in Florida State? I believe in Florida State like Gotham City believes in Harvey Dent.
Maryland: I do enjoy the home run threats. And Maryland has themselves a good one? The name. Tony Logan. Yeah, the guy with the website! And on a team where Randy Edsall controls things? Any amount of home run threat is a good home run threat. And Danny O'Neil's going to need to get himself some of that.
North Carolina State: I will leave my homeristic joy over them giving up on Russell Wilson at home. Why? Because like the guy below, the Wolfpack have a defensive tackle in the name with talent department. See, J.R. Sweezy is a man, a myth, and a very good inside pass rusher. And so long as he breathes, he is awesome.
Wake Forest: Some of you who look at this post would consider me to only enjoy Nikita Whitlock for his Russian name. Well let me just say, anytime you're a 260 pound nose tackle who is in the middle of a 3-4 defense as a freshman, and you get named a Freshman All-American, you are doing something properly. I just hope he doesn't do a post-college heel turn.

Coastal Division
Duke: David Cutcliffe is a pass master, and oftentimes, it's a receiver that gets the benefit. Connor Vernon wasn't exactly a touchdown mastermind last year, but he has the implicit trust of QB Sean Renfree. And as such? He will always get looks in clutch situations. And if your hate for Duke extends beyond the basketball court? See above. (He's #2).
Georgia Tech: Andrew Bernard may deem him a traitor, but the tailback Preston Lyons seems to have the lock on a division one football starting job. All seriousness, the Colgate transfer is going to get a lot of dive play and step one of the option play. And until Paul Johnson wises up and brings in Synjyn Days for every play ever? Lyons gets all the run.
Miami (Fla.): In its history, Miami has developed into a school for fast, undersized linebackers. And stepping into the legacy line? Shawn Spence. He stays healthy, and he's absolutely guaranteed for 120 tackles, 15 of them for loss, and 6 or 7 pass break-ups. This will lead him into becoming a third round pick and a special teams superstar and then winning a starting spot.
North Carolina: It was another offseason where tumult was the watchword. But even with all the off-field issues? They have a tag team of pass rush on the defensive line. Quinton Coples and Donte Paige-Moss will generate sacks despite themselves. Everything else? It'll sort itself out and the Tar Heels will be able to move forward.
Virginia: I was right about one thing. It was a cornerback that shall lead them. It just wasn't Ras-I Dowling. It was the son of a 4 time pro bowler and Dawg Pound namer. Chase Minnifield was one of many who managed six interceptions last year, and maybe just maybe. He beats Dowling into the first round as well.
Virginia Tech: As much as I want Logan Thomas to succeed, the pre-camp love for me falls to David Wilson. He's the reason why I'm not nearly as worried as some would be after the early departures of Darren Evans and Ryan Williams. He's a home run threat behind a very experienced line. Wilson's gonna do some sort of Kevin Jones stuff.

Big 12
Baylor: It's easy and fun to get sufficiently hyped for Robert Griffin. He's good, he's mobile, and he's got a good group to throw to. Kendall Wright and Josh Gordon are good pieces of business. Wright is possession guy. Gordon is home run guy. And Griffin is so much the good dude? He gave each of them seven touchdown catches.
Iowa State: Apparenly, there's a developing trend this year in college football where there are reasonably talented defensive tackles with awesome names. In Ames, it's Stephen Rumpoelhamer. He's a nose tackle, kind of decent at everything he does. And with a name like Rumpoelhamer, it does include getting his proverbial drink on.
Kansas: There is one tremendous athlete in Lawrence that looks like he's going to make a strong leap forward at his new position. Toben Oporum was Kansas' leading rusher as a freshman, only to be converted to defensive end last year. He held his own at the position. This year, it's not too much to say that he could lead the team in sacks.
Kansas State: If you believe in karma. If you believe in rooting for some people because of what they represent? John Hubert is your man. See, the bite-sized running back is the only thing that keeps Kansas State from being represented by the other major representative of the Lane Kiffin UT Wild Boyz. Bryce Brown is most definitely not lovable. Hubert, by definition, is.
Missouri: There's a quarterback so good and athletic, that he turned Tyler Gabbert from an Eli Manning into a Tate Forcier. James Franklin may have the same name as the Vanderbilt head coach, but he is more agile and mobile. And with the experience everywhere else? James Franklin may bring back the remembrance of Brad Smith when Brad Smith was a bad mamma jamma.
Oklahoma: If I had to wager on who would be the #1 pick this year? It wouldn't be Andrew Luck. A great rule of thumb is that if a quarterback goes back to school, their game starts to get picked apart. And as such? They lose their luster. The one who stands to benefit? Landry Jones. He still has a tremendous Ryan Broyles led core of receivers and an experienced line to protect him.
Oklahoma State: When only the SEC had their major wide receivers go early, who became the #1 receiver in America? That's right, Justin Blackmon. I know, I know, it seems kind of obvious right? But the fact of the matter is that outside of the guy who throws to Justin Blackmon and Justin Blackmon, the key players that aren't on the O-line have graduated. If you can score? You can score on them.
Texas: Lost in the midst of a down season was the emergence of a fabulous defensive tackle with a quality first name. His name is Kheeston Randall. Few centers were able to handle what he was bringing them on a consistent basis. And in an offseason of questions, Kheeston is name that's made of stability. Sorry, that sounds boring.
Texas A&M: While the offensive side of the ball is rich and varied in skill and power, there is a defensive star that doubles as a return ace with a name evocative of good football and bad puns. Coryell Judie was a shutdown cornerback with quality return skills. Not for nothing, but he's just as big a part of the proceedings as Cyrus Gray and Jeff Fuller.
Texas Tech: One of the few known knowns in Lubbock this year is that the Red Raiders return everybody on the offensive line. And as they're in year two of switching over to the Tuberville Super System, this is a broad base of talent to build on. The one with the most pro talent? Left Guard Lonnie Edwards. He's gonna be a road grader on the line.

Big East
Cincinnati: I know you may think this a cop-out, but I'm not going to name a single player. Why? Because the last time the Bearcats had a defensive with this much returning experience, they had seven more sacks, allowed about 0.7 yards less per play, and went from allowing 30 plus to allowing under 20. And if you consider that this defense was better than that one? This is a unit that would give Dana Holgorsen a moment's pause.
Connecticut: If you have a pass rusher? You have a punchers chance. And in Storrs, there is a strong pass rusher. The name? Jesse Joseph. He led the Huskies in sacks and will be the face of a pretty strong defensive line. It's the best thing they have there not named basketball.
Louisville: He may not be under center to start the season, but with the obvious health caveats? The new quarterback hotness is in Louisville. Is it Will Stein? Nah. It's Teddy Bridgewater. He would have been the starting quarterback in Miami if Randy Shannon was still alive. And when you consider the fact that the line needs to come together? Mobility will become a watchword.
Pittsburgh: The most quijibo of players in College Football is Chas Alecxih. Why he's so interesting and so much of a reason to love is because he's one of those with a specific set of skills that does not fit his position perfectly. For Alecxih? It's the fact that he can do a good D'Marco Farr impression and geterate sacks from the inside of the defensive line.
Rutgers: Now when you consider the way Tom Savage went down and south and west, I could look like a fool with the way this call goes. But that being said? Chas Todd is a patient passer who did some things behind a line that had not all the way jelled yet. And in a conference that was pretty well mashed up last year? You can see them surprise and be like in third this year.
South Florida: The school that brought the pros George Selvie and Jason Pierre-Paul, just might have a third pro talent in their midst. The name? Ryne Giddens. He had 3.5 sacks in a 2 start season last year, and was athletic enough to get an offer from Florida back when Urban Meyer had its full attention. The slot is open, and I believe he'll step in.
Syracuse: My favorite receiver who should be yours? Van Chew. Now, he's an obvious all-name teamer. But for Ryan Nassib he may be the sort of guy who can get him to all-conference levels. Doug Marrone's a great coach, and if I'm not dumb enough to pick a guy that Marrone will run off? He can do some things.
West Virginia: Lost in the midst of Holgogate and the couch burning dreams of Geno Smith, Heisman candidate, is the fact that they kept their defensive coordinator. Jeff Casteel has always provided Morgantown with a defense that hunches back and hits people. With Bruce Irvin and Julian Miller as a very scary pass-rush proposition, and a traditional strength against the run? Casteel will likely remain underrated.

Big Ten
(Note: I know there are two divisions, but their names are a travesty. Minor slacktivist protest. But a protest just the same.)
Illinois: While Nathan Scheelhaase was kind of dominant as the second half of the year started, I'm here to talk to you about Jason Ford. With Mikel LeShoure graduating, Jason Ford is looking like a breakout candidate. With an experienced offensive line in front of him, and Zook's predilection to matriculate the ball down the field via runners. Ford will break out.
Indiana: Now there is a question in regards to just who exactly is going to throw him the ball, but there's a big rangy target for them to throw to. Damarlo Belcher couldn't possibly be happier that such a passing game mind like Kevin Wilson got hired. Why? Because He had 73 grabs last year. The leader of Wilson's offense last year almost doubled that.
Iowa: The last time that a big thumping running back came out of nowhere to start, he grew up to be Shonn Greene. Now, while I admit that is a touch of a false equivalency in comparing him to Marcus Coker, he is a large and powerful running back with an experienced line behind him. Adam Robinson may have been talented, but barring an injury? He won't be missed.
Michigan State: There's enough offensive triplet power here to have an encore to last season and ruin some peoples lives along the way. Before the big transfer news, it was universally regarded that Kirk Cousins was the best quarterback in the conference, and he comes with an experienced offensive line, two strong running backs, and a senior laden receiving corps. I'm fired up about Russell Wilson, but Cousins isn't just going to turn into a pumpkin because perceprion has shifted.
Michigan: It's always weird when you seemingly put your top talent out of their element. And that's why Denard Robinson is not necessarily the reason to love the Wolverines. But that being said? When he has a target to throw to the caliber of Roy Roundtree, a more straight up class of class of pro-style offense isn't exactly a bridge too far.
Minnesota: If you're a team on step one of the rebuilding process? You have a lot of help when you have a mobile quarterback. And as MarQuise Gray is going to be definitely mobile. He was a wide receiver last season, and while that in and of itself doesn't help matters because there's now an opening at wide receiver, a mobile QB will help keep plays alive.
Nebraska: One of the more electrifying parts of their defense was a junior college middle linebacker named Lavonte David. He was the sort of player who not only finished third in tackles nationally last year, but he added 6 sacks, 9 tackles for loss, and 10 pass breakups. He's a major reason why the Big Ten is a little more wide open than one would think.
Northwestern: When Dan Persa inspirationally tore his achilles tendon to beat Iowa, the year fell off considerably. Persa has that certain amount of mobility that can help make this team a tough out when you cross their path. And he actually finds himself with a quality piece of receiver in regards to a young Jeremy Ebert. His health gives them a chance for a football bowl game win.
Ohio State: Yeah, yeah, TresseLOL. But in regards to a linebacking corp with quality names? The Buckeye state is three for three. Between Andrew Keith Sweat, Etienne Sabino, and Storm Klein, you have a potential starting three that will go toe to toe with anybody. And they aren't going to miss any time with all of that. I'm not making any more jokes here. Nope. No.
Penn State: In regards to the whole cool names with a decent amount of talent, Penn State's new starting running back has both in spades. That's right kids, I'm talking about Silas Redd. He's a five star talent who's about to have the head, the tail, and the whole damn majority of the carries that he can handle. It goes good? He could be the record holder for Penn State rushing yardage. By the end of next year.
Purdue: Purdue's meme last year was weeping and tearing the ACL. But here's the thing, they'll be healthier this year, and with a deeper offensive lineman corp? Ralph Bolden being healthy is very nice for the Boilermakers. And if someone emerges at quarterback? They will turn some of those tough losses back into wins.
Wisconsin: Oh the hype coming out of Madison is so much. You know the running backs, you know the Russell Wilson. But here's another reason why the Badgers are a team you can believe in. The linebackers are stronger than you think. Mike Taylor is a tackling machine who played slowed up by a 2009 knee injury. And Chris Borland was done by the San Jose State game last year. He had five sacks and 10.5 Tackles for Loss as a Freshman. These two can fill the graduation hole of a J.J. Watt.

Conference USA
East Division
East Carolina: The story of the Pirates was one of big offense and a broken defense last year. Dominique Davis won the job last year, and he was a beast chucking the ball around the field. He has three senior receivers to throw to, and if I had to bet on the most likely pro? I'll take the safe bet. Lance Lewis. He kept Dwyane Harris from getting too crazy last year.
Memphis: I'll be honest. Memphis seems as if they're in line for a long season. But that being said? Their defensive tackle tag team is severely underrated. Frank Trotter is the undersized loose cannon with nothing to lose who finds his way into the backfield. Dontari Poe is the space-eating man beast who makes Trotter go. The lucky middle linebacker that wins the spot behind them will get a lot of tackles. A lot.
Marshall: The star in Huntington? A defensive end named Vinny Curry. I know I mentioned him in passing last year, but this is the C-USA leader in sacks, second in tackles for loss, and 10th in tackles. This may not happen so much because Mario Harvey passed onward, but he's definitely an adorable sort.
UAB: Considering their recent history, and considering that he didn't actually win the starting job last year? Bryan Ellis was impressive last year. From outshooting Larry Fedora, to nearly taking down Tennessee in Knoxville, Ellis was underrated, and when he took over? UAB had a punchers chance for most of last year. Add in the delightfully last named Pat Shed for running and the occasional swing pass? Ellis has a chance to lead the Blazers into uncharted territory.
UCF: While there are people who are awesome on the offensive side of the ball, no matter if they drive with a suspended license Jeff Godfrey. But I'm going all name team defense here. The name? Jose Jose, a 360 pound defensive tackle who looks to be all Terrence Cody in the middle of the Knights defense. He will eat space like few others.
Southern Mississippi: Austin Davis was a whole lot of value last year for the Golden Eagles. 20 touchdowns through the air. Another ten touchdowns on the ground. He doesn't have the three more years eligibility excitement of a Jeff Godfrey, but their toughest game this year? At Virginia. Austin Davis wins that day, all the spoils could be theirs.

West Division
Houston: Do you want to know how you can stay and play a 6th season of college football? Threaten to wipe Hawaii from the passing records from the books. With only 3487 yards and 25 touchdown passes? Case Keenum will remove Timmy Chang and Colt Brennan from the record books. Frat boys of the world will have the sad, but Keenum will be the new quarterback sincerity with good health.
Rice: There should be stability at quarterback this year. This is good for their next James Casey. His name? Luke Wilson. He may not be the best for pitching cell phones, or choosing movie roles, or appearing in the new CBS Reality Show Same Name. That's Same Name, Sundays at 9/8 Central. Only on...CBS!
Southern Methodist: When people look at a white running back? There is an obvious comparison to other running backs of the same race. And when they come from SMU? They get compared to one person. That's right, Craig James. So while I'm not gonna say that Zach Line is in the process of killing five hookers, I am saying that Zach Line needs to kill five hookers if he wants his post football career to be so successful like Craig James.
Tulane: The Green Wave always seem to cull a good feature back for their express purposes. This year is no different. Now I'm not going to say that Orleans Darkwa is going to be another Mewelde Moore or a Matt Forte, but that being said? He's gonna get as many chances to try as he can handle.
Tulsa: Tulsa also has a representative for the all-name team. His name, Genesis Cole. A name tailor made for two things, bad biblical jokes, and Phil Collins puns. So the fact of the matter is, yes Jesus he knows him, he knows he's right, and he just knows he's built for special teams. (Nailed it!)
Texas-El Paso: On the surface, last years stats from Joe Banyard aren't that impressive. But the thing of it is? He was tag teaming with the greatness of Donald Buckram. But Buckram was gimpy. And without Banyard? The Miners weren't going to sneak into a bowl game. And Banyard is going to get all the carries. Not going to say that his stats will be spectacular. But don't deny his skills.

FBS Independents
Army: Now obviously Trent Steelman is one of the greatest names in the history of ever, but I mentioned it already. And besides he didn't lead the team in rushing last year. It was Jared Hassin. And this thousand yard rusher decided that flying planes in the house of the lord was too good for him. Which is awesome for the other prong of the Commander-in-Chiefs trophy.
BYU: So remember how there was expectations that Jake Heaps was going to be a quarterback at the level of the LaVell Edwards glory days? It seems as if that came sometime in November. He crush kill destroyed the end of the season (not named Utah). He has four starting linemen coming back. Heaps is gonna throw for double plus good yardage.
Navy: Usually, I think people who spell out letters as a part of their name is something pretentious. People named Jay are douches...TO A MAN. Then again? There is Gee Gee Greene. The Home Run threat slotback slash Navy man. With the graduation of the brutalizin' Ricky Dobbs, Double Geez Greene is going to make their season.
Notre Dame: Now I have been want to make a cheap shot or two at Notre Dame in the history of this blog gimmick. But that being said? This year I will not. Why? Because Malcolm Floyd is back. And he's one of the great receivers in college football. And he is SO TRUE TO HIS SCHOOL...that he will fight anyone who will take his keys after a night at the ol' Rathskeller.

Mid American
East Division
Akron: Even though there really has not been very much for Akron to write home about in recent years, they do have a nice piece at middle linebacker. Brian Wagner was one of two linebackers to garner over 100 tackles last year. Wagner had 130 tackles last year, and with the graduation of Mike Thomas? Good health garners a chance for more.
Bowling Green: Last season, beloved MACthusiast Matt Sussman's alma mater had one bright spot on offense. Receiver Kamar Jorden rolled up on the MAC offenses with a reasonably strong impression of the graduated Freddie Barnes. He took in 96 passes with an inexperienced line and a freshman quarterback. Their QB is a year older, and their offensive line is promising some big things.
Buffalo: I'm getting a little esoteric here, but there's a nerd stat that would make you find some appreciation for the Bulls. Pass breakups are usually a stat for the defensive back. Only three linebackers are on the leaderboard. Khalil Mack is one of them.
Kent State: Roosevelt Nix isn't impressive just because he had 10 sacks last year, though that is impressive. See, last year he started all of one game. And as a bonus? The Golden Flashes run a hybrid 3-4, and the 6'0" 240 pound Nix played on the line. In context? Those 10 sacks were spectacular.
Miami (Ohio): Alone, the Redhawk linebackers don't seem spectacular. But combined? C.J. Marck, Evan Harris, and Jerrell Wedge were a trio that anchor one of the best defenses in the conference.Wedge makes with the tackles, Marck has room to grow, as he only started seven games last year. And Evan Harris seriously grabbed 6 interceptions. The encore will be tougher, but don't count them out.
Ohio: With an offensive line returning everybody, raw talent at quarterback has time to grow. And Ohio has two good prospects. For one? Kyle Russell. Who's more the passer. But for my money? Tyler Tettleton has the dual threat genius power to make something of himself. (And maybe threaten to run the table?)
Temple: The good doctor Bernard Pierce has a sidekick. And it's of the adorable variety. Matt Brown isn't exactly a name to remember. But he is of the Sprolesian build (5'5", 170) and he has been victimized by the lazy nicknaming of sports media. I mean, he's The Bug? Nobody likes Bugs! And Matt Smith deserves to be treated better! I mean, he is after all, same name with the current Doctor Who Doctor. And you could call their backfield the practice!

West Division
Ball State: Ball State has a very interesting hunter in the deep third. The name? Sean Baker. He was strong in run support (89 tackles) and he also grabbed 6 interceptions. You think 6 picks isn't a lot, right? But 6 picks is good for a tie for 5th in the country last year. So yeah, bro.
Central Michigan: The Chip voted most likely to fire up the fanbase? Cody Wilson. In a conference with people like Eric Page and Kamar Jorden? Wilson is the one who generated more yardage with his style than both of the other top returning pass catchers. So yeah. Plus one for Cody Eleven. Especially if you love Frisky Dingo.
Eastern Michigan: The Eastern Michigan quarterback has never been a position where success is guaranteed. No bowl game since 1987. No winning season since 1995.So long story short? They get hit a lot. But with a quarterback like Alex Gillette? They have a punchers chance. And at this juncture, punching is a good start.
Northern Illinois: I kind of backed myself in a corner after the last two years here. Chandler Harnish was all like awesome in the last two years. He's a senior now. You know who else is a senior? Jasmin Hopkins. And with the graduation of Craig Spann? The princess of third down backs is finally in line to start.
Toledo: The second major threat for the Rockets finished with real power toward the end of the season. Adonis Thomas finished with 150 yards plus rushing in three of his final four games. That got him over 1000 yards, and over 6 yards per carry. Not to mention! He gets all the passes that Eric Page doesn't. Big doings.
Western Michigan: The thing about quarterback Alex Carder that's humorous to me? He came all the way from Kansas. Carder managed 30 touchdown passes last year. And he also managed to lead the Broncos in rushing TD's as well. Why is it so funny? Because Kansas could never throw the ball last year.

Yeah, it's not that funny. But screw it. I smiled.

Mountain West
Air Force: The key to any good flexbone offense is having a quarterback that while mobile, has just enough of an arm that you can't overload one side of the field and make it almost impossible to option. Beau Morgan had it. And Tim Jefferson has it as well. He's two wins away from being the winningest quarterback in the history of the Air Force.
Boise State: Two words. Muscle Hamster. Rare is the world we live in where an athlete has a legitimately top notch nickname. But Doug Martin? He has a legitimately good nickname. If he was D-Mart? No one would give him a second look. But as he isn't? He rules.
Colorado State: While he isn't number one on the depth chart, and he isn't #1 on the old all name team draft board, Nordly Capi is #1 in Rams fans hearts. Why? Nordly. Say it. I'll wait. You're smiling right? And now you know why we're talking Nordly up in this business.
New Mexico: I usually make an effort not to beat a dead horse and go back to the same well year after year, but the thing of it is? New Mexico made a bad decision in hiring Mike Locksley and the team is kind of terrible at a lot. But that being said? Carmen Messina just makes tackles. He only had 115 tackles last year, but that's really impressive considering he was only healthy for 9 games last year.
San Diego State: Lost in Ryan Lindley's throwery and Vincent Brown's technical proficiency, as well as the SEC getting ahead of the trend? Ronnie Hillman was a bad man. In fact, was one of the best Freshman running backs in the country. And the offensive line promises a good sequel.
TCU: You want to know the reason why TCU isn't going to fall too far despite the loss of ginger quarterbacking? The best non-AQ class of running backs. For one, you have Ed Wesley., a thousand yard rusher who was the key to beating Oregon State and Baylor last September. And you have Matthew Tucker and Waymon James, who were a strong tag team of running when Wesley broke down. And their big recruit coming into the backfield (UCLA transfer Aundre Brown), still has the skills when he was a big time recruit.
UNLV: As last season wore on, a running threat began to emerge. Though considering the state of the Rebels last season, the numbers might not show it. Tim Cornett may not be the most SEO optimized of running backs, but with a healthy line? The running game drought of the Rebels (No 100 yard rushing game since 2008, No 1000 rusher since 2004) will end.
Wyoming: That wingman named Alvester seemed to come into his own in the final four games last year. In first eight games last year? He had 314 yards and 4 td's, with only 2.6 yards per carry. The last four games? 478 yards, 10 td's, and 6.8 yards per carry. He also managed good performances against Air Force and San Diego State as well. He's a bit of a sleeper.

Pacific 12
North Division
California: It always feels like a subtle trollgaze when I mention a teams special teams as a reason to love them. But with no available superstar and two quality names on the special teams, I need to just man up and go with my instincts. Why? Because Giorgio Tavecchio is on the placekicking and Bryan Anger is on the punting. (Then again? Tavecchio is not exactly the most popular player in Berkeley. U Mad?)
Oregon: I was going to go with Cliff Harris, but as there is a certain amount of uncertainty as to when he'll make his return to the team? I need to go to the unsung hero and the entity that kept defenses honest in all matters run game. He may not have been the run threat as a Jeremiah Masoli, but Darron Thomas was twice the passer.
Oregon State: This may be one of the most dangerous teams from October onward. Why? Because the two most important pieces of their offense seem to be on track to start playing at that point. Joe Halahuni is a pretty nice pass-catching tight end, and if James Rodgers rehab is a success? They can sneak up and get this division.
Stanford: It may not be the most obvious reason to love the Cardinal, but you know what? Junior linebacker assassins Shayne Skov and Chase Thomas are top notch. And in a world where the return of a #1 pick (which almost always leads to disaster) gets all the credit, these two are the glue that will hold the season together.
Washington: Jake Locker was, shall we say inconsistent last year. But out of that inconsistency, a quality receiver emerged. The name? Jermaine Kearse. He was a thousand yard pass catcher, and only one of nine who return to school from a BCS conference. And with a more consistent passer? He may be making million of dollars next year.
Washington State: At this point? There is something good in Pullman. The defense is experienced which means improvement is likely, and when you add one of the more underrated passing combinations in the country in Jeff Tuel going to Marquess Wilson and Jared Karstetter? Paul Wulff could double his career win total.

South Division
Arizona State: No matter what happens this year, Arizona State still seems like a fun team to watch in the grand scheme of things. Because they have one of the best candidates for a running back breakout in the west. Never mind how he got there, but Cameron Marshall showed to be a strong 60% of the carries in a running back tag team last year. And this time? He gets all the pie behind a veteran O-Line.
Arizona: As I write this, it seems as if Juron Criner is going to get up off the deck and run routes for Nick Foles this year. This news is spectacular. Criner is in the second level of best receivers in the country, and an absolute necessity if the Wildcats are going to have a year worth writing home about. Whether or not Dan Buckner emerges.
Colorado: In doing the research this year, and interesting thing I found is the fact that bad teams got good running back numbers last year. It may just be something as simple as that this is the only thing that worked. But still, whatever happened to the adorably sized Rodney Stewart last year, it was wonderful. And an encore is not impossible.
Southern California: Lost in the midst of USC being all easy to be thrown on, that bloodlines and lineage combined to grow a superstar in the back third of USC's defense. T.J. McDonald's father was an all pro in Arizona, and T.J. led the Trojans in tackles. And as I have said before? USC is where safeties grow to kill.
UCLA: Now while some people say that the magical punterbeard of the Troy Punter makes him the best, and others would say that Drew Butler is the best because he's the best in the best conference. They're wrong. All wrong. Why? Because Jeff Locke is a bad man at getting the Bruins out of trouble. I mean, anytime you can net punt for nearly 42 years? That's just quality.
Utah: Even in the Urban Meyer days, the Utes could not get by without a thumper in the backfield. From Matt Asiata to Chris Fu'amatu Ma'alafala, the Utes loved to run with power. This year? The guy who's threatening to be next in a long line is Thretton Palamo. It's a beautiful name, and from someone who was such a high school rugby star. Padding can only make things better.

Southeastern
East Division
Florida: Sure, Jeff Demps is going to hit home runs and get hurt. And sure, Chris Rainey is going to be a special touch of offensive talent. But all Trey Burton is going to do is score touchdowns. It's not going to be a Tebow level thing to be certain, but that being said? Touchdowns will occur for him. And that's the only offensive guarantee.
Georgia: This one may be more by necessity than last years SEC freshmen running sensations, but the fact of the matter is that Isaiah Crowell is going to get a lot of run as the Bulldogs running back this year. And if he has half as much talent as panache he showed during his big recruiting press conference, Crowell has a bright future between the hedges.
Kentucky: I know this is going to sound completely weird.Most of this has been all skill position guys and pass rushers right? But In Lexington, the best guard tag team on the offensive line makes their bones. Larry Warford and Stuart Hines are stalwarts with a professional future. And for any success in Lexington, these tow are necessities.
South Carolina: There are three very obvious reasons as to why the Gamecocks should be loved this year. But I'm going to give you Gamecocks defensive end Devin Taylor as my reason to most love this team. Why? Because you already know Alshon Jeffery and Marcus Lattimore, and defenses are going to gameplan for the guy who had 52.5 sacks in his last two years of high school. So yeah. Taylor is gonna get some pass rush onward.
Tennessee: In one of the more delicious points of irony, when the fallout from Reggie Bush scandal occurred, USC upperclassmen were allowed to transfer without ramifications. Malik Jackson took the NCAA up on their offer, going to his head coach's former home. And as it were, he becomes one of the best defensive tackles in the SEC.
Vanderbilt: I know something will have to go terribly wrong for him to see the field this year, but the most lyrical name of the all name team? Quarterback Lafonte Thourgood. A 4 star talent at quarterback, and a five star name. All seriousness though? Brandon Barden is a legitimate talent at tight end, and in my dreams, Lafonte is going to throw him a billion td passes.

West Division
Alabama: If the rumors aren't true and Eddie Lacy isn't going to be hurt for longer than two or three weeks? Then I have to call on him. Saban loves to use two running backs to bring the thunder to defenses. And Eddie Lacy rushed for 7 yards per carry last year when he got himself in the game last year. If he's healthy? He's going to be a breakout candidate.
Arkansas: It wasn't until Knile Davis stepped in and grew into a real talent in the backfield did Arkansas become a majorly threatening team. His second half of the season was better than plenty of great running backs full years. And he has the triangle numbers that if he has an encore? He'll be a millionaire playing on Sundays before long.
Auburn: The other thousand yard freshman rusher will definitely get a lot more run this year. Whether or not he was down on the third play before Auburn won the BCS championship last year doesn't matter. Michael Dyer was a beast when he got run. And while the numbers may not show it so much this year, Dyer is a special talent.
LSU: The Freshman Cornerback who was more weapon than cover corner steps up from manic indie thrill to becoming a popular icon in Death Valley. As nickel cornerback, Tyrann Mathieu was all over the field leading the Tigers in pass breakups and finishing second in sacks, and fifth in tackles for loss. Considering how well LSU has done against the pass in recent years, Mathieu is a true worthy addition.
Mississippi: I'm not going to call out Ja-Mes Logan for having parents with an irrational love of hyphens. Why? Because Brandon Bolden is a quality running back. I could give him the overly narrow superlative of being the single best third team all-conference running back and would get few arguments. I would get a lot of blank stares, a few head shakes and someone calling me a nerd, but few arguments.
Mississippi State: This just might be the year that Chris Reif breaks out. With a veteran receiving corps that promises to improve on a decent season last year and a deep offensive line? He can become the quarterback that can shock the world. Mullen in year three promises to do something interesting, and right now the Chris Reif bandwagon is not near as full as it should be.

Sun Belt
Arkansas State: He may not have near the name whimsy of a Phillip Butterfield, but the play of Ryan Aplin is a good base for anyone starting a NCAA Football 2012. He led the Red Wolves in rushing touchdowns and when you consider that Dwyane Frampton has hands of glue, and maybe, just maybe, Josh Jarboe is going to stick on a team this time? Aplin may be all-Sun Belt.
Florida Atlantic: In one of the more niche viral marketing campaigns of the spring, Your Highness Morgan was something of a holy terror in the spring. The Owls are going to shift to a 3-4 defense this year, and considering the expectations are going, Mr. Morgan has a chance to be Fabious in garnering tackles.
Florida International: Do you miss the importance of the running game? Do you grow weary of air being raided by passing? The Sun Belt is for you! More on this later, but suffice it to say that when Darriet Perry won the leagues rushing touchdown title last year, he achieved something grand.
La.-Lafayette: Not to be a man who likes to go to the same well too often. But the Ragin' Cajuns have one player with professional level talent on their roster. The name? LaDarius Green. He's the top tight end in the Sun Belt and arguably one of the five best in the country. The team may struggle, but as long as he's on the field. The ball will move.
Louisiana-Monroe: Arkansas isn't the only place where a dual-threat mastermind stands under center. Kolton Browning was so good as a true freshman he forced someone on the Johnny Unitas preseason watch list (Trey Revell) to play tight end for his senior season. Now I wouldn't wish his September on anybody (at Florida State, at TCU, and at Iowa), but if he survives that? He's definitely one to watch.
Middle Tennessee: It's rare to have a running back controversy, but the Blue Raiders seem primed to have one. DD Kyles is the mercurial big play back that seems primed to retake the starting job after Phillip Tanner's graduation. But the three last-named sword of damocles in the form of LSU transfer Drayton Allen-Calhoun resides waiting on the NCAA to make a call. With a less mobile QB taking the helm, the winner will likely rush for 1,000 yards.
North Texas: It's kind of hard to be the second best at a position in a mid-major. In terms of exposure? Lance Dunbar is little known outside of Von Erich country. And that's a shame. Because Dunbar rushed for over 1500 yards last year. This was good for 8th in the country. And he ended up gashing Kansas State for 270 yards in a losing cause. Don't sleep on him.
Troy: Now I'm not want to make hyperbolic comparisons, but Troy does have something akin to one of their all time greats. The name? Jonathan Massaquoi. The game? Disruption off the end line. He loses his tag team partner, but that being said, he did garner 76 tackles along with his 13 and a half sacks. He's got a very bright future ahead of him. And besides, we all already know punter beard is gold.
Western Kentucky: When you have a 2-10 team in a minor conference, it's not very often that you will find that the running game is something to behold. But last year? Bobby Rainey rushed for 1649 yards. It was good for 5th nationally, and he's the third ranked rusher coming back to the FBS this season.

Western Athletic
Fresno State: With better health, one could say that Robbie Rouse would be the best running back to return to the WAC this year. After all, in a world where Dwayne Wright, Lonyae Miller, and Ryan Matthews were strong runners, it wasn't until Rouse started getting...starts...when we would find a Fresno Statie getting two straight 200 yard games. And fun fact? One of them was against Nevada.
Hawaii: I wouldn't be one to worry about the state of Bryant Moniz, it's a system here. But the defense has one of the statistically superpowered. The name Corey Paredes. He was 4th nationally in tackles last year. And it's not as if they're going to be able to game plan to stop him either.
Idaho: When a transfer comes to a big school? There's always a buzz. (Cough cough, Duron Carter, Zach Mettenberger). But when a transfer comes to a smaller school? You don't get the buzz. But the fact is, Ryan Bass has a chance to be an electrifying running back. And he's not of the Deonte' Jackson, Princeton McCarty waterbug mold either.
Louisiana Tech: After all the hullabaloo regarding the Bulldogs raiding the air last season, it's half funny that Lennon Creer became the pick to click. Between graduations and conference shifts? You could sincerely consider him the best running back returning to the field this year. If they ever get that whole passing game going? Ooh. I just got chills.
Nevada: Tyler Lantrip is likely the one who has to step into the role of Colin Kaepernick. But that being said? Rishard Matthews was the emerging superstar and a man who helped cost the conference millions with his awesome. He was supposed to go to Oregon. But he will debut his 2011 in Autzen Stadium. And Cliff Harris isn't playing... (I can't do an impression of a dream sequence. Sorry.)
New Mexico State: If anyone attempts an all-name team and does not have Boyblue Aloeua on their linebacker corps? They are fools. He's a strong linebacker who emerged for the Aggies when they needed help most. Not only that? He was named after an Electric Light Orchestra song. +1 for the game. +2 for the classic rock.
San Jose State: Travis Johnson had moments of greatness last year as he got to seven and a half sacks. This year? There's promise of greater things. One of the advantages to having a young defense is that it has a chance to grow and jell. Blue Sparty brings every starter back. Travis Johnson could grow and gain genius power.
Utah State: If you recall last year, I was so excited to make mention of Robert Turbin, I mentioned him despite his ACL going shred in Feburary 2010. This year? He returns. And he'll be 18 months removed from the injury that damaged his All-conference form. He's coming back. And he's coming back ready for war.

So there it is. 120 teams. In all their glory. For the single greatest off-season corrupt sport in the history of our sport.

Keith Olbermann leaves countdown.

2011-01-22T04:07:00.000-06:00

And while I am sad? I know he will be back. He's found himself in worse situations than this and he's found a way to extricate himself before and since.

I mean, look at this.

That's a career killer. And KO found his way back. He'll be back. The wingnuts must have their media demon.

I have become a technological luddite.

2011-01-19T14:16:00.000-06:00

Somewhere along the line? It happened. I don't know the whys and wherefores, but right now? I feel as if I am locked in to where my technology is. My computer? A desktop from 2000. My video game system? PS2. My TV isn't flat screen, let alone high-def.

And yet? I do the social networking thing. I do the facebook, and I do the twitter. And both have decided to make a layout chance in recent weeks. Facebook? They just did it. Pull the band aid.

I liked the old facebook, but you know what? It's done. And it's inoffensive.

As for twitter? The new twitter layout is clunky and unpleasing visually. Too much information, too wide of columns. Just too much of everything. I said to myself, self? I'm keeping old twitter for as long as possible.

Viva old twitter.

And there were hints that Twitter did not want me to do this. The Blue Bar up top that said, "New Twitter is Here! Switch to New Twitter!" to "You're using an older version of Twitter that won't be around for much longer. Switch to new twitter." And I would passively resist. I figured they would decide that to move me.

Then came last night? And twitters automatic retweet function, which I initially disliked, but I got used to, swung from annoyingly stupid to ridiculous. For you see? If someone would find a statement from a Patton Oswalt or a Brandon Jennings as something for their timeline? I would get a message.

Wondering who this is?
Someone you follow thought this was worth retweeting, which is why you are seeing it in your Home timeline. Learn more.

It happened once? I thought it weird. But then someone got retweet happy. And for every. single. retweet. I would get this message? I searched to see if I could file a request to turn this off? I couldn't. I asked twitter support to help. It didn't. I yelled at twitter to turn it off. Nada. I hurled expletives at random. And nothing happened.

Then it hit me.

I switched to New Twitter. I thought that was the trick. The bar would disappear and I wouldn't go back. But you know what? It didn't. I had the option to return, and I did.

But there was one certain subtle difference. When I was in new twitter land? It was still as ugly as sin? But I did not get that message. Return to old twitter, and I got the message.

So it comes to this. I'm not going to move from Old Twitter. They can ask me if I have no idea who Oprah or Tiger Woods is. I'm not moving. This is where I make my stand.

Drag me into the ugly, or let me keep my beautiful James Shields cracking Manny Ramirez in the face background, and let me keep old twitter. But just because you decide to change something that was working just fine does not mean you can try dickery to get me to move off my little piece of internet land.

NFL Playoff Preview. Sure. I'll do it.

2011-01-04T20:44:00.000-06:00

I'm not a gambling man, I don't have a spectacular manifesto in regards to the way to figure a playoff victory. But that being said? There are three major aspects to my figuring out a team's strength in general versus an opponent. The margin of yards per play versus yards allowed, scoring margin, and the takeaways, plus or minus turnover margin.

The results show some surprises, but nothing too indefensible. He's how I'd rank the teams in regards to power.

1) Pittsburgh
2) New England
3) Green Bay
4) Philadelphia
5) New York Jets
6) Atlanta
7) New Orleans
8) Baltimore
9) Kansas City/ Chicago (tie)
11) Indianapolis
12) Seattle

So what does this all mean?

1) I would put money on the Packers or Eagles winning the NFC Championship.

Granted, the Packers do have a bit of a fundamental flaw in regards to a consistent desire to run the ball. But even then, they went down to Atlanta and nearly took them down. And the fact of the matter is that the Falcons are a team that can be thrown on. A team that gets a lead on them makes them a definite upset victim.

2) Seattle is as bad as everybody expected.

I know that New Orelans is coming there. And if Matt Hasselbeck can go? Seattle will cover. But if I was football outsiders or something, I would go back and look through the lowest scoring margin of all playoff teams. Why? Because the Seahawks have given up six points more per game than they've scored.

Think about this another way? The next worst team in this playoffs is nine points better than the Seattle in scoring margin. New Orelans isn't a great team this year. But they'll win.

3) I've got to respect Peyton Manning.

I still don't like him that much. But if you consider how good this team has been this year? Peyton worked a miracle getting this team in. If they beat the Jets? That's a great season. Flat out.

4) My Pick for the Super Bowl?

Green Bay and New England in a return match from the game of the year.

5) My Picks for this Week?

Baltimore 20, Kansas City 17
New York Jets 27, Indianapolis 24
Green Bay 35, Philadelphia 34
New Orelans 28, Seattle 20

Brewers got a starter (And are all in!)

2010-12-20T11:32:00.000-06:00

I'll say this. Doug Melvin isn't going into this year with some half-assed milquetoast sort of an attempt at a fix. The big acquisition isn't going to be an overaged #3-#4 starter who collapses after start #6. The bold move isn't that they traded for James Loney.

They got Zack freaking Greinke. They got their new Sabathia.

The future of this team could be looking very bleak. 2013 could have 103 losses. And the definite downside of losing Brett Lawrie is compounded by losing the #1 pitching prospect, the guy who should be starting at center field, a tarnished, but upside strong shortstop, and the Kansas City Royals next closer.

But that being said? Odorizzi hasn't hit AA. A lot changes for a pitcher when he hits AA. Still a strong prospect, but better arms have hit a wall. And Alcides Escobar's floor is currently matched by Yuniesky Betancourt. And the next failed drug test from Jeremy Jeffress and he's gone. Just gone.

It's like John Sickels says, it's a whole lot of decent prospects going back to Kansas City. And for the Brewers to get Grienke in return? It's exciting. Even if 2009 is so much the career year and 2008 is his real baseline. It's a massive upgrade.

They're probably not going to match the bold on paper talent of Halladay, Lee, Oswalt, and Hamels. But then again? You look at the Brewers and you see a 25, 27, and 28 year old as your core rotation, with Randy Wolf suddenly only having to put up 4th starters numbers. And this is going to be a strong bunch.

Prince Fielder's walk year, Ryan Braun, and an A- rotation? Half measures did not occur this year. Melvin made moves as if it was some sort of win or die scenario. And God love him for it.

All-in is awesome, until it fails.

Brewers got a starter...

2010-12-06T00:26:00.000-06:00

And I suppose this is what cautious optimism feels like. Why? Because this is the sort of a deal that has a real downside for the Brewers.

Not that Shaun Marcum is a high-risk player. Sure, he has a Tommy John in his past, but he's had three years of quality starter in the majors under his belt. And he slots in as a legitimate #2 starter. So instead of just praying Mark Rogers is decent and Randy Wolf returns to form?

You're going into 2011 with two starters that should win 60%-70% of their games. It fills a big hole for right now. And with Cincinnati as a small-market team and St. Louis's defense looking awful on any gapper? There's room at the top of the NL Central.

But that being said? And it may be payment of the cost to be the boss, but if it was anybody else not named Brett Lawrie, I would have loved this deal without doubt or provocation. But as it is Lawrie? I am with reservation.

Two reasons as to why. One? The Brewers best upper level infield prospect? Taylor Green. A 24 year old that hasn't met AAA yet. And with a .774 OPS in AA. And he's a defensive tweener!

And second? You know what, worry about tomorrow when it comes. Tonight we got ourselves a strong starter. And he's ours for two years.

I will celebrate tonight.

So you know how I watch wrestling, right?

2010-11-29T23:58:00.000-06:00

If not? I do. I watch wrestling. And tonight had one heck of a main event. It wasn't the most technically proficient. But the story told here was awesome.

You have Jerry "the King" Lawler. 61 years old. Kind of a perv. But on his birthday? He's gets himself a match with the recently crowned WWE Champion The Miz.

And logically, you'd expect the match to go the way of the Miz. But the story told was a story where WWE Announcing colleague Michael Cole stopped Jerry inches from stealing the championship.

It allowed the Miz to recover, and ultimately win.

(Sorry about the Spoiler, but the listing of the age up front shoulda told ya.)

An entertaining match. Well broadcast and whatnot. But? There are people who find fault with the match. There are people who find fault with the Leader of the Cole Miners.

Are you ready for Swears? Go!

Wrestling Fans. You have to love them.

I have been dethroned as the most adorable Bucks Fan!

2010-11-10T13:28:00.000-06:00

Credit goes to Blog Bro and Twitter Bro Ethan Jaynes

Arizona Stanford Prediction...

2010-11-04T15:40:00.000-05:00

Awesome title, am I right?

But in the battle for the Holiday Bowl, this week will give you the team that's most likely to face Oklahoma in the Holiday Bowl. It's either a rematch of the Sun Bowl. Whimsy right there. Or it would be a Stoops Civil War. Which would have been hilarious.

Stanford's major strength is the fact that Stepfan Taylor has found a way to fill the hole of Toby Gerhart. Andrew Luck's just been his level of core competence, but if there was going to be success for the Cardinal? They were going to have to run the ball.

The line does deserve massive propers as well. They've allowed 3 sacks all year and generated the 12th ranked rush offense in the nation and 13th in runs per attempt. You want to know the reason why the Cardinal have 50 red zone attempts and are 2nd in the nation on 3rd down conversions? They've got an offensive line of genius power.

And if Arizona is going to win? Their defense is going to have to beat the offensive line. Not to say that their front seven isn't mighty. 6th against the run, 7th in terms of scoring defense. 3rd in sacks, 11th in tackles for loss, and 4th in yardage the defense has gained in their tackles for loss. Ricky Elmore is playing his ass off right now. And Jonathan Martin draws the assignment.

And don't forget that Brooks Reed is a solid second defensive lineman who can generate pressure in regards to the pass rush. Arizona is going to attack. And they're going to need to get to Andrew Luck. Because as the great American Ricky Stanzi showed, when you have time to throw, Arizona is beatable.

All in all? Neither team is going to score a copious amount of points. Arizona is going to get points whether or not Nick Foles can play. But Andrew Luck's going to have a fine game in response. They're going to play a solid, disciplined game overall, and they'll get a win. By like four.

Stanford 28, Arizona 24.

Baylor as Big 12 South Champs?

2010-11-04T12:14:00.000-05:00

Am I kidding? Not really. It could happen. They get past Oklahoma state and all they have to do is beat Texas A&M and a paper tiger named Oklahoma. At worst, they're winning nine games. At worst.

Then again. They still have to get past Oklahoma State. And that means they get the mad genius of on Dana Hologorsen. And that's doomswitch time.

Now that being said, it's not as if Baylor can't matriculate the ball down the field with equal parts moxie and vigah. Both teams are top 10 in total offense, pass offense, as well as yards per play. Fun times could be had by all. Both teams could score 40.

Maybe even 50. After all, both teams can be thrown upon with equal parts moxie and vigor as well. Baylor's 87th against the pass. Oklahoma State? 113th. Remember, Taylor Martinez threw for 300 on the Cowboys.

So, obviously points are going to be scored and scored and scored and scored. So what's going to swing the game? Two things.

1) Red Zone play. Baylor's scored 15 touchdowns in 35 attempts. Oklahoma State has allowed 18 touchdowns in 29 red zone attempts. So if Baylor is going to win, they've got to avoid turning seven into three.

2) Baylor's been merely decent on the road. They got buzzbombed by a great TCU team, and that's okay. Because TCU is great. But that Texas Tech game is worrisome. The lone moment of pure Air Raid Magic came against Baylor. And the week after? Oklahoma State came into Lubbock and shut that down.

The winner of this game is going to win the Big 12 South. Oklahoma has to travel to both places to end the year, and I guarandamntee that they will not emerge unscathed. So, who wins this one? I'll say Oklahoma State 48, Baylor 44.

TCU-UTAH prediction?

2010-11-02T14:46:00.000-05:00

Sure, I'm game for this. This is the sort of game that seems like it's going to come down to one thing. Both sides are pretty evenly matched. Tremendous offense versus Tremendous defense. Both teams have strong running games and both teams can stop the run.

Both teams can stop the pass. Both teams put up over 40 points and allow about 9-14 points per game. Both teams allow about 4 yards per play and generate about 7. Neither team has given up more than 5 sacks.

The one difference? Turnovers. Utah has a propensity to give them up. It's not as if they're at a -8 or anything. And it's not as if TCU is really great at generating them either. But, this needs further explanation. Like who played who and what not.

And here's where the other difference comes in. While neither team has a schedule to write home about, there is a stark difference in terms of the quality of play these teams have faced in terms of Yards Per Play Margin.

Point of fact, outside of the top 4, the Mountain West is really terrible this year. But while Pittsburgh is the best team that Utah played, and played entirely too closely I might add. Baylor and SMU both are giving it just as well as they are getting it this year, and while Oregon State's not going anywhere of consequence, their opening game versus TCU was them at the peak of their powers.

Jordan-Echols is going to be worth about 4 points for Utah. But TCU's toughness and that one Utah Mistake are going to be worth about 14. It'll be a tight one. But TCU is going to hang on. TCU 17, Utah 13.

I have this notion.

2010-11-02T10:53:00.000-05:00

This hunch if you will, that Boise State is about to lose. Sounds crazy, I know. But the thing about a stunning upset? Nobody's really going to talk about it. So, let me tell you why this can happen. And why this most likely won't.

1) Hawaii is freaking spectacular through the air.
The worst aspect of their game is in terms of completion percentage. 64.0% is good for 31st nationally. Then it's 11th in terms of yards per attempt, and they are the best in the world in terms of passing touchdowns, touchdown to interception ratio, and passing yardage. It's awesome numbers. And there's no reason why it can't continue.

2) They generate turnovers.
You need to be a ballhawking team if you're looking to shock the world. And Hawaii is talented at winning the turnover battle. 26 turnovers is good for 2nd in the country. A turnover margin of 11 is good enough for 4th. If this is to happen, you need to find success in this respect. Boise doesn't make many mistakes, but Hawaii can take advantage.

3) They make with the first downs.
218. Tied for 3rd. More first downs than Auburn and Baylor. Good for 11th in terms of per game. That means these kids sustain drives. And lord knows they will need to do it.

And yet? Because it's Boise State, and the game is in Boise. There are real reasons for this to be the fever dreams of someone desperate for content.And not just because it's a road game for the Rainbow Warriors.

1) They're 111th in Rush Offense.
Which is legitimately terrible to be sure, but the fact of the matter is that they weren't exactly likely going to get untracked against Boise State's 2nd ranked Rush D. There's gonna be a lot of off tackles for a yard and a half up in there.

2) They give up a bunch of sacks.
20 sacks in 9 games. Kinda terrible, it's tied for 88th in the nation. Though they have overcome this when they faced teams that generate sacks like Army and Fresno State, but Boise State is the sort of team where they have additional power to their defense. See point #1 for further proof. See point #3 for further further proof.

3) Boise State is a step up in Passing D weight class.
They're 8th in Pass Yardage. And as such? They are a few ticks better than Army and Fresno State. And a lot of ticks better than a USC. It's an unknown how exactly Hawaii is going to work against a defense such as this. Then again? Army and Fresno State gave up a combined 54-86 with 719 yards and 6 scores against an interception.so Hawaii could bring something to the table.

So what does it all mean. It means that Hawaii is probably going to have a game much like their game against USC, without USC chasing points from the two point conversions. Boise State's going to have a solid game. But Hawaii will be hanging around. Hanging around.

They'll be in a situration, a 4th and 4 from the 33, down by like 9. And it'll be midway through the third quarter. They hit the situation, and they'll go down to the wire. They don't?

They cover. Barely.

I'm going to tell you who's going to play for the national title.

2010-10-26T06:33:00.000-05:00

I can do it right now. It'll take a bit, but I'll actually see if I can't give this blog some content.

Why, because Yards per play is an important factor. It's not the only factor. But in terms of legitimate quality of team, if you can generate two more yards per play than your defense, your team is truly great. The closer the ratio can get to a 7/4? The more legitimate your team is,

So, where does that leave us? Looking at the BCS, I'm only going to consider the Top 12 because at this point in the year, it's too long of a road with half a season to go. So from Stanford on down to Akron? Good night, drive home safely.

(Arizona could make a dent by beating Stanford and Oregon, but that Oregon State game is too bad of a loss.)

So from #12 to #1 we'll break it down logically. (Yards Per Play/Yards allowed)

12. LSU Tigers 7-1 (5.0/4.5)
LSU is going to lose again. They may even lose twice. Alabama's (7.1/4.7) got a week off to get healthy for the LSU game? And as such Alabama should be at the peak of their powers and LSU's bye week advantage gets negated. They end the year versus Arkansas (7.4/5.4), and while it's going to be close, they do project themselves as a sort of a Mr. Pibb to Auburn's (7/3/5.0) Dr. Pepper. The offense is too good for LSU's lack of it to overcome.

11. Ohio State Buckeyes 7-1 (6.4/4.0)
There's something to be said for the Big 10's season ending early. And while Iowa (6.4/4.7), while out of any sort of national championship contention, looms large for any team that crosses their path. Kirk Ferentz seems to give a deferential treatment to the Buckeyes. So barring the great American Ricky Stanzi going forth and racing to a 21-3 lead? I think the Buckeyes win out.

10. Wisconsin Badgers 7-1 (6.5/5.3)
Being the 11th ranked defense in the top 12 of giving up yards allowed is not going to be so much of an issue for three of the games. Indiana's offense rolls out for 5.7 yards per play, but their defense gives up 6.5. That's going to be most likely the worst of it, inexplicable Northwestern upset notwithstanding. That being said? The Badgers travel to Ann Arbor. They're 6-27 there. Last time there they allowed the only good moment of the first year of the Rich Rod era.

These Badgers can move the ball with some efficiency. But Michigan is generating 7.5 yards per play. That is the game that makes me think 10-2 and the loser of LSU/Arkansas or Sakerlina in the Outback Bowl is the final destination.

9. Oklahoma Sooners 7-1 (5.3/5.5)
The fun fact about the first BCS Poll? Oklahoma was allowing more yards per play than they put up. So the Sooners are paper tigers, so to speak. Stoops should be able to escape unscathed from the next three (Colorado (4.8/6.1), @ Texas A&M (5.5/4.6), Texas Tech (5.4/5.5)) But he ends the year with Baylor, who's doing it on Robert Griffin and an average defense (7.3/5.2), and Oklahoma State, who's deathly afraid of losing the coach whose offensive mind is so strong no hair may grow above it. (6.9/5.1). The Sooners won't win both, and I'm steeling myself for them to win neither.

8. Utah Utes 7-0 (7.4/4.0)
TCU might not be in the national championship conversation for much longer. Utah is generating almost a yard more per play on offense and is doing as well yardage wise as the Horned Frogs defensively. And this game is going to be in Salt Lake City. Though if they do that? San Diego State (6.7/4.6) may be the responding trap game. It's between a game in South Bend and what looks to be one of the last Holy Wars ever with BYU, and the Aztecs have already shown they can play this year, losing by 3 to Missouri and losing by controversy to BYU as their two losses.

And this game is going to be in San Diego.

So yeah, the internet meme shares my beliefs.

7. Alabama Crimson Tide 7-1 (7.1/4.7)
So it looks as if it's going to come down to the Iron Bowl here. Though LSU may just be an emotional response to the fact that Cam Newton has the Heisman on lockdown. But that offense is just not trustworthy, They have to get to 24 points to have a prayer vs. Alabama, and I will not gamble upon it. Auburn on the other hand? Could be different.

6. Missouri Tigers 7-0 (6.0/4.7)
Fun fact? Missouri's going to lose to Nebraska (7.3/4.6). The indie darlings of 2007 are going to get knocked out by that game, because after that point, they'll win out. Beyond Nebraska, Kansas State's defense is terrible (6.1/6.1), and they're the second best chance for the Tigers to get knocked off. But 11-1 and a Holiday Bowl finish is in their future. Celebrate.

5. Michigan State Spartans 8-0 (7.0/4.7)
Like the Badgers and Ann Arbor, Iowa City has been problematic for Sparty. The last time they won there? 1989. Iowa's defense may have been tarnished by their performance against Wisconsin, but they're still the best defense that they've faced all year, and it's Sparty's only real road test. Iowa's going to play the October surprise for a potential BCS title run again, though Michigan State gets the BCS berth via the tiebreaker.

4. TCU Horned Frogs 8-0 (6.7/4.1)
Utah and TCU are similar. They face each other and have San Diego State looming as a spry trap game. For TCU it's the only thing stepping between them and freedom. Well, they play New Mexico, but Mike Locksley's last in yards per play on offense. So in the words of Barney Stinson, please. That being said? An 11-1 TCU may not fall far enough to get aced out of at-large consideration.

3. Boise State Broncos 6-0 (7.7/3.6)
An aside, there's no reason to think Virginia Tech won't go 10-2 and play Florida State for the ACC title. The hiccup with James Madison may not mean a thing to Boise. Traveling to Nevada may not mean a thing to Boise either. Why? Hawaii and the South Carolina corollary. Everybody pointed to the Iron Bowl (late season game) as Alabama's only remaining test.

And while the ostrich Kaepernick is good? Bryant Moniz has the sort of offense that can stay alive even in a game where they're giving a B effort. And as you can see by the comparison below, (not to mention that small thing about a head to head match-up)?

Hawaii (7.5/4.9)
Nevada (7.0/5.5)

Hawaii is the better team. And nobody's talking about them as a legitimate threat for Boise State. Theretofore...the internet meme shares my beliefs.

2. Oregon Ducks 7-0 (7.3/4.5)
Duck fans have a reason to engender some confidence. USC is like a bizzaro LSU (7.3/6.0) that's no fun to root for. And while Nick Foles' hair is awesome? It may not be enough to win a shootout in Autzen Stadium for Arizona (6.4/4.5). So, barring a catastrophic injury/fool acting to a LaMichael James or a Derron Thomas (which in this instance may not matter as much as back in 2007)? The Ducks will be BCS bound with confidence.

1. Auburn Tigers 8-0 (7.3/5.0)
It's not going to be a problem getting to 10-0. Ole Miss is bad at football (6.0/5.7) and UT-Chattanooga isn't going to pull any sort of anything. A.J. Green has been worth a half a yard per play by his presence alone, and when you consider it to be the game just before the Iron Bowl? There's no reason not to believe the Bulldogs can keep it close.

But they won't win. Auburn versus Alabama will likely decide the other compatriot in the BCS title game. And here's why it goes to Auburn.

1. Auburn's sack total? 20, good for a tie for 13th. Alabama's sacks allowed? 22 Good for 105th.
2. Cam Newton. If he's healthy, he was the reason why LSU's defense traveled from great to merely good. Alabama's defense is merely good.
3. Auburn's 9th in 10+ yard plays from scrimmage, and Alabama is 88th in 10+ yard plays from scrimmage.

So, Alabama goes 10-2, Auburn wins the SEC, and they play Oregon for the BCS Title while a lot of turmoil reigns down below the 1-2 spots. And now you don't have to play the games.

You're welcome. Bye!

*waves*

In Other News...

2010-09-24T16:36:00.001-05:00

Marshall Newhouse is rostered on the Green Bay Packers. So far, his career trajectory has been better than I thought. So, yeah. I was wrong about something.

The League and Owning Your Nerdiness...

2010-09-24T00:53:00.000-05:00

Today, I'm here to talk to you about the fantastical football. There will be no mentions of Jahvid Best or Shonn Greene. I'm going to focus my brain and fingers in regards to the FX comedy program. And how now, on this night. I am outing myself as a nerd.

Now, obviously, as I am a guy who once used OPS+ to argue Pete Browning's case for Baseball Hall of Fame induction and has shown you a good comic book or two to read in the past? I've made minimal effort to chase some sort of a perceived cool. But never once have I used a show's technical flaws against it. Rule of Funny/Cool beats Rule of Logic and all that.

Tonight? That all changed. For tonight, there was a simple, who do I start question. Mere moments after It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia ended on a quality "We're Lawyers!" Stephen Ranasazzi asked his TV Wife if he should start Ricky Williams or Toby Gerhart.

I know what you, the unfortunate few who stumbled between desperate photos used to generate hits, must be thinking. What does that matter? I will tell you. Toby Gerhart should not be drafted in an 8 team league. An 8 team league would at most have 40 running backs. But okay, fine, say the young Mr. Stephen ended up with the Purple Jesus and handcuffed Gerhart.

You always go with the guy who isn't the fucking backup. Always. For the love of pete. It would be like a Star Trek Officer asking for Red. It would be like a pro wrestling good guy actually not falling for the Silicone-enhanced heel lady. It would be like Daredevil killing a guy.

But until the writers decide to step their game up and go above and beyond asking Matthew Berry if Kareem Huggins exists? I cannot give these people the time of day.

P.S. To Mark Duplass? BRING ME MORE GOTDAMN MUMBLECORE! THE PUFFY CHAIR = YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS!

Thoughts on a Rivalry...

2010-08-18T16:53:00.001-05:00

They say the best villains are mirror images of the hero. Two sides of the same coin. Batman's strict moral code enmeshed with the Joker's nihilism and whatnot. And pro wrestling has the potential to have a classic feud developing between the Miz and Daniel Bryan.

The former Bryan Danielson is someone who represents the self-made wrestler. He's the world traveler. The one who willed himself through a lengthy match with a 300 pound Japanese man beast with a broken eye socket. The one who built a following on the fact that he could wrestle. The one everybody on the internet seemed to hope for success, but half-expected him to fail.

That being said? The Miz is the MTV star. Real World-Road Rules challenge icon. The one who willed himself into tag teaming with Coral whilst Danielson went through the Best of the Super Juniors. The one with the following built on the fact that he made himself into a character. The one the internet seemed to hope for failure, but is delightfully surprised to see that he has a legitimate claim to awesomeness.

And in this one minute? The Miz tells the viewing public why this feud has a real chance to be something memorable. Two sides of the same coin.The Miz has put in a lot of work to be where he is today, and the average fan doesn't realize, and the internet fan would never deign to put him on the same level as the heroic Daniel Bryan. Thus Bryan must pay.

On a pure storytelling level? This has a chance to be a starmaker and a moneymaker. I cannot wait to watch this unfold.

Live from the Portage Public Library!

2010-08-16T17:42:00.001-05:00

It's me telling you that this time off is legitimate. As I have been without computer for the last 8 days. It should return at some point this week. Whee.

Five Fantastical Football Thoughts on Quarterbacks

2010-08-05T19:40:00.000-05:00

1) The quarterback with the best playoff schedule? Joe Flacco. It’s not as if he’ll be starting too hot this year. But if you’re a contender looking for an insurance policy at QB? Flacco is the one to target. And he now has Anquan Boldin.

2) The quarterback with the easiest starting schedule? Jason Campbell. Yeah, I know, telling someone to take a Raiders quarterback is like telling someone that Plaxico Burress is draftable. But for what it’s worth? Everybody loved Chaz Schilens last year and Darius Heyward-Bey doesn’t seem as useless as he did last year.

3) On schedule alone? The one top-tier quarterback that worries me beyond anyone is Matt Schaub.

4) On schedule alone? Peyton Manning is going to have another boringly awesome year.

5) And if you need a quarterback who’s going to be a fine one-week plug in for the byes? Why not get into the Josh Freeman business. Week 5 at Cincy is marginally good and Week 10 vs. Carolina is probably a recipe for not good, but here’s weeks 6-9. New Orelans, St. Louis, @ Arizona, @ Atlanta. Even a marginally good quarterback can find his way into a good month through that schedule.
Funny how it takes twitter going down to actually get me to blog.

I have one word of advice for Doug Melvin!

2010-07-29T23:59:00.000-05:00

Nine games out of first in the NL Central. 10 games out of the wild card slot. Seven teams to leapfrog to get that selfsame Wild Card. And the Milwaukee Brewers have decided that they're all in. Okay, maybe not all in.

But they're not looking to make a deal for a player they're not going to be able to keep or the guy having the career year. And it does not allow for them to get right. Because the fact of the matter? The Brewers are a fundamentally flawed team. It's a lot of power and hoping Yovani Gallardo and rain outs the other four days of the week.

Can you tell me that any other starter has been pitching well for the Brewers? Bush's ERA is about average, but the way his command has been going, that cannot possibly last. Randy Wolf's earned every ounce of terrible that he's been this year. Narveson's been slightly unlucky but not so much where his terrible is defensible. Parra's been okay and Capuano's got too small of a sample size to tell you the whys and wherefores of his year.

You know what? I can see the other side as well. The Brewers don't have to lose Hart and Fielder this year. There are interesting pitchers in free agency that could be affordable. But? Do you really want a Bedard-Pavano-Wellenmeyer free agent class as the answer to the rotation question?

I don't.

In Where I talk Jeremiah Masoli as well as the NCAA Banhammer

2010-07-20T13:48:00.001-05:00

Two SEC football posts here.

Masoli: http://ping.fm/jP6or

NCAA Banhammer: http://ping.fm/DVGZD

Five thoughts on your Milwaukee Bucks

2010-07-20T01:25:00.001-05:00

1) Keyon Dooling is a nice signing. He brings a good amount of skill in running the offense and the ability to play the two. And his last two years have shown that he's able to hit from beyond the arc. I like it. I like it very much.

2) For a guy they were probably going to cut anyway? Jon Brockman is interesting. He has one marketable skill in Rebounding. That being said?

3) Larry Sanders, Tiny Gallon, and Luc Mbah a Moute all play the 4 with some real skill. Not to mention Ersan Ilyasova and Drew Gooden. Logjam? Hell yeah.

4) Jerome Jordan? I know the Bucks sure could use some of that right now.

5) But tonight? We do the we didn't sign Travis Diener dance.

Attractive Woman Haiku: Brittany Athey

2010-07-16T01:21:00.000-05:00

Pigtails are awesome.
A celebrity lookalike?
Jessica Simpsonish.

(17 goddamn syllables)

Attractive Woman Haiku: Alix Bromley

2010-07-16T01:15:00.000-05:00

The internet meme star.
I will give you two guesses.
As to what is epic.

So yeah. Luke Ridnour's been signed.

2010-07-13T22:23:00.000-05:00

If you were a Bucks fan you've been steeling yourself for the departure of Luke Ridnour from the Bucks. Today doesn't come as so much of a surprise. Ridnour's been signed. But that's not the story.

The team that signed him is.

Now, if you're reading this, you inadvertently clicked away from a photo of Kim Kardashian's ass, so I'll do this with some build. We're living in a world where you have a team that is managed by someone who makes Isiah Thomas look competent.

Check out the bullet points.

Drafted 4 point guards and made sure that his best point guard would stay in Spain last year (dealing the second best one to Denver as well.).
Added a quality point guard to further muddle the situation.
Signed an irrelevant joke best known for launching a classic NBA blog to a contract worth 5 million dollars a year.
Drafting two, and trading for two small forwards this year. (Trading a valuable salary chip for Martell Webster in the process.)
Adding one of the best headcases of the modern era (who also plays small forward).
Trading one of the best young low post scorers in the league in year two after an ACL injury to Utah for Kosta Koufos (who may...may grow up to be serviceable), two protected picks, and a trade exception. And yes, this was after they signed the man who launched the classic NBA blog.

And to the Timberwolves? There goes Luke Ridnour. For another 4 years and 16 million dollars. At a position where it would be easier to bring back Nick Calathes. Where Ramon Sessions is already an overqualified backup point guard. .

If I'm Glen Taylor? I put David Kahn under the MRI machine. Check for a tumor. Because clearly David Kahn is a troubled man.

In where the SEC runs College Football Scheduling

2010-07-13T20:58:00.001-05:00

I do not defend the methodology of the scheduling of the FCS games for the Division 1-A teams. But the SEC does it differently than most. And as such? It's intriguing and a potential future trend.

http://ping.fm/iiJBC

Remember where you heard it from first.

In Which I Discuss Matters of Trappery in the SEC

2010-07-12T14:52:00.000-05:00

You want to see where the top teams of the SEC can get taken down? You do? Bless your heart. We’re going to show you where you can look for an upset and we can do it…

http://ping.fm/c9Llk

Please do enjoy.

Attractive Woman Haiku: Ashley Greene

2010-07-09T15:02:00.000-05:00

A new Megan Fox?
It doesn't matter really.
Next ones coming soon.

The Top Ten People Who Feel Good About LeBron's Newgrabbery

2010-07-09T02:58:00.000-05:00

10. David Vitter
9. Jeff Greene
8. Jim Lecky
7. The Taliban
6. Bruno Fernandes (The Brazillian Rae Carruth)
5. The Homophobes of Cameroon
4. The NRCC
3. Sharon Angle
2. Johannes Mehserle (Oakland's burning right now.)

And the #1 person feeling great about how LeBron stole the Newscycle? Tony Heyward

Ba dum bum.

Okay. An obligatory LeBron James take.

2010-07-09T02:39:00.000-05:00

I know, another LeBron take on the internet is something you don't want to read. But if I'm not going to sleep before I get this posted? I may as well put it out there.

Did I watch the special? No. I did not watch the special. Like most of us on the internet, the mere idea that LeBron James was going to get an hour to massage his ego made me sick. I would rather replay the frustrating sequence of Mr. Zero in GTA San Andreas and watch the delightful paintball episode of Community than attempt to stomach this.

Any problem with him signing with Miami? I believe that they're going to implode at some point. Strange things happen. Wade's injury prone. Bosh is mercurial. See the above paragraph. for my opinion on LeBron. That being said, he seems to be playing with his friends. And on that instance alone? I have no problem with LeBron.

But the biggest and my potential most hypocritical problem? His ego trip is a win. Seriously. Remember the premise of the special was to get people talking about him.

What's this post about?

Kevin Durant could be considered as much of a transcendent talent as Mr. James. And you could ask your average casual NBA fan about him and they may not know that he signed an extension with the Thunder. A classy, quiet move. And he should be rightfully regarded highly for it.

But he lost the news cycle. And I helped.

Yay, huh?

Attractive Woman Haiku: Katy Perry

2010-07-09T00:45:00.000-05:00

A hipster doofus?
Sure. But one fact stays true.
Titties is mainstream.

Love, Hope, and College Football Gimmicks

2010-06-30T18:44:00.000-05:00

Though in fairness? If it's a well-regarded post, it's not a gimmick. For those of you who just got here. The rules of this post are simple. There are 120 teams. And there are reasons to love each and every one of them.

These can be empirical, these can be whimsical. Sometimes? They can even seem irrational. But it's all good. Something for everybody and whatnot.

ACTION FORCE GO!

Atlantic Coast
Boston College: There always seems to be a legit talent in the recent history of the Eagles. From Matty Ice to B.J. Raji to this years tag team at linebacker? There's always a reason why the Eagles will kick a little ass in the ACC. This year you get the Freshman sensation Luke Kuechly's sequel in conjunction with Mark Herzlich. If he doesn't inspire you by playing football after breaking bad? I have no time for you.
Clemson: The X-Factor for Clemson will most likely be their Corico Vision. For you see? Their secondary is badass. Their defensive line is badass. The linebackers? Brandon Maye is badass. But Corico Hawkins needs to step up if their defense is going to rival...
Duke: At a brocentric school like Duke, there is a semblance of hope that with the considerably lowered entry for a bowl game, and the experienced offense, there could be a Bro trip to a locale like Albuquerque, Boise, or St. Petersburg. Now while I won't tell such brochachos to reserve their tickets, I will say that Desmond Scott will run the ball for many yards. And bros, that's a good thing.
Florida State: You want to know the reason why I shed no tears for Bobby Bowden? He had an electrifying athlete who was looking like a shutdown cornerback? And he didn't start him. Greg Reid was never more than a return man and a nickel back. You cannot be blinded by a cool name like Ochuko Jenije. Best 11 on the field, son.
Georgia Tech: You would think that an inside running beast like Jonathan Dwyer would not be easily replaced. In this instance, you would be mistaken. Anthony Allen has a chip on his shoulder. And he will make every defender feel his pain about being ditched with Steve Kragthorpe.
Maryland: Sometimes, the premise of Linebacker U is something of a misnomer. After all, teams have 3 or 4 of them. And usually only one is interesting. But in the decade of the Fridgening? Maryland has been able to generate quality defenders at linebacker. And while Maryland is a lot worse nowadays? Alex Wujciak is a linebacker that belongs in the beginning of the decade.
Miami (FL) : Doppler 3000 has issued a weather alert for all ACC Backfields. There's a Storm coming. And with a backfield in some disarray, he has an opportunity to do damage quickly. He may either have been named after an X-Men or random bad weather, but Storm Johnson has a potential to be severe. Yeah. Sorry about that.
N.C. State: If you're looking for an interesting sleeper candidate for a professional wideout? Jarvis Williams is your man. He's big and rangy and every fourth catch of his last year? It went for a touchdown. That's Cris Carterish amateurism.
North Carolina: You want to see a team do an impression of the 2000 Baltimore Ravens? The Tar Heels are your team. On offense, they are stuck with the irrelevant joke of an offensive coordinatior in John Shoop. But on defense? Oh mama. Deep, talented, and experienced. There will be at least six prospects that will dot NFL teams draft boards that will be gone by the third round. (Robert Quinn-DE, Marvin Austin-DT, Bruce Carter-OLB, Quan Sturdivant-OLB, Kendric Burney-CB, Charles Brown-CB, and Deunta Williams-FS). Add in Tydreke Powell-DT and Quentin Coples-DE as juniors with tremendous upside potential and you won't see many teams getting to 20 against the Heels.

A long way to say, yay defense I know, but they probably could defend on a professional level this year. And only Clemson could come close in-conference.
Virginia: Sometimes with a team of little regard, there's one bright shiny superstar. For the Cavaliers, whose strength is in an experienced offensive line and Ras-I Dowling, it fits this archetype perfectly. Because Ras-I is big and rangy.
Virginia Tech: Now while the Hokies have a running back tag team that some would consider to be as deadly as Christian Okoye and Barry Word from back in the day and an emerging dual threat in Tyrod Taylor. I'm not here for that. They've recruited another awesome name. From the people who brought you Ju-Ju Clayton, it's E.L. Smiling! It's a name that makes you think of keebler and white teeth! And he's rangy too!
Wake Forest: You wouldn't normally look upon a Demon Deacon as something akin to hip-hop. After all? The most famous alumnus that I can think of is Tim Duncan. And as bros go, he is most definitely chill. But the nose guard Ramon Booi? This kid is definitively hip-hop. He will turn many P.A. announcers into annoying hypemen.

Big 12
Baylor: The significant thing is that you get Robert Griffin back and healthy. He's the sort of threat that makes the Baylor running game a nightmare to slow down. And when you throw in a potential Terrence Cody impersonator in Phil Taylor locking down the other side of the field? A Vanderbilt-esque bowl run is not out of the question. (The schedule's a wee bit back loaded.)
Colorado: A highly touted linebacker with a ready-made nickname is ready to step back into the breach. Jon Major is in year two coming off of an ACL injury which forced the hand of the Buffaloes. They used seven linebackers for three spots last year. The prime minister should solve that whole to do,
Iowa State: Some people thought I was mad for saying that Iowa State had a window of opportunity for success. I take the general apathy toward my blog as an apology. For an encore? A healthier receiving corp with Lonzie Range and Darius Reynolds portend a stronger offense. Replacing Army with Utah? Portends a December without a bowl.
Kansas: This is what you get for firing Mark Mangino. Yeah, his methods may have been old school. But guess what? You're gonna be in Conference USA next year. Nobody wants a great college basketball program. They want a possibly insane football coach. Lew Perkins, you have made this bed, and now Rock Chalk has to lie in it.
Kansas State: Now sometimes I have this long spiel and sometimes I attempt humor. One team gets nothing. But sometimes? It's as simple as the fact that the leading rusher returns. For K-State Daniel Thomas returns. And I give him an entry as boring as his name. Not his game.
Missouri: There's history and tradition in the previous decade of quality play at quarterback at Missouri. From Brad Smith and Chase Daniel, Blaine Gabbert has been handed the reins of an offense on the grow. And when you consider his pedigree, there is no reason not to suspect he can't have a greater level of success. That's why Derrick Washington is the reason to love these Tigers.
Nebraska: The team that looks to be destroying their conference will be destroying random offensive lines with the blood lines of Baker Steinkuhler and the best name for an 1890's society woman to say "Well, I never" to in a Mister Jared Crick. Add in the royalty of Prince Amukamara, and you have the perfect heel team for fans of the Big 12. They're threatening to take the strap with them on to bigger and better things.
Oklahoma: If you want the team that will likely lose the National Championship game? Go to Norman. They have excellent triplets in Jones-Murray-Broyles, with good depth behind them. Add in some nice pieces on defense in Jeremy Beal and Travis Lewis? You can see this team roll through the regular season. And since it's a Bob Stoops team? BCS death.
Oklahoma State: Kendall Hunter is what you would consider an unselfish bro. Keith Toston was desperate to develop some sort of professional resume. And Mr. Hunter was all like relax, leave it to me. One ankle injury later and Toston was poston defenders.

...yeah. I'm sorry too. But the fact of the matter is that because Kendall Hunter's ankle decided to move aside, he gets all the carries that he can handle. Your mileage may vary on if it's a good thing.
Texas: It takes a special talent to see the field as a freshman at a program such as Texas. But Jackson Jeffcoat has the blood lines of a professional as well as the opportunity to roll up on some suckers right quick. All he has to do is beat out Chike's cousin Alex Okeafor. It can be done.
Texas A&M: There is nothing as appealing and straight up badass as a dude who racks up sacks. And the Aggies? They've got themselves a winner in Von Miller. He racked up 17 sacks with a defensive line where he was in fact the only thing you had to watch out for. I'm not invoking Freeney here, but that's a job skill that can make you millions.
Texas Tech: Mike Leach probably recruited him for the ironic value of having a Red Baron, but Baron Batch is suddenly the most important man in Lubbock. Tuberville has a bit of the riverboat gambler in him, so he won't totally get away from what Leach has done, but the Red Baron is going to be eluding defenders as if they were a Sopwith Camel.

Big East
Cincinnati: They may not have the cachet of Pike to Gilyard, but when you consider the fact that Robo-QB always needed to return to the shop for repairs. And in stepped Zach Collaros. And it was good. He gets to have two potential greats to throw to in Armon Binns and hotshot transfer Vidal Hazelton. He also has Isaiah Pead running the ball. I see no possible joke by that name.
Connecticut: It's Tod-Man. Trucking bros up and down the East Coast with his running back skills. Once a member of a tag team with Andre Dixon, Jordan Todman has the entirety of the run of the carries. And if you consider that this is the school of Donald Brown? If I had to make a wager on somebody getting 2000 yards, the smart money would be on Tod-Man.
Louisville: One might think that after the transfer of Matt Simms, a quarterback of majestic blood lines would not reside in Louisville. They would be wrong. For you see, Adam Froman returns. And he returns with the promise of cased meats from Chicago and competent game management. And he will deliver on one of them.
Pittsburgh: The Midnight Express return to rush the passer. Jonathan Baldwin returns to catch a goodly sum for passes. But for my money? Dion Lewis may have had a lot of carries, but he's not hunting any sort of college football curse of 370. He's not going to tear his ACL for an encore. He makes the Panthers fun.
Rutgers: The relationship between DC Jefferson and his key supporting character in Revenge of the Nerds Father has become strained during the recruiting process and preseason practices. A year later? DC is hopeful. And he is ready to contribute to the Tom Savage Passing Attack. And he'll do some things.
South Florida: Lost in the tragic injuries of Matt Groethe's injury was the emergence of B.J. Daniels as a strong dual-threat candidate. If the ball is in his hands, the defense has got a problem. Especially when you consider that the offensive line has everybody coming back. There's a definite chance of 2000 yards passing and 1000 yards rushing for Daniels.
Syracuse: I'm going to keep this simple. They have a strong defensive presence in terms of Doug Hogue. He's the returning leader in sacks, tackles for loss, and pass break ups. And if Delone Carter has can manage to keep cool? They'll get a running presence back in the fall. (Though like Mike Williams, I wouldn't hold my breath.)
West Virginia: Noel Devine is the obvious speed burner of the couch burner's eye. But for me? Jock Sanders is running a close second. Decent skills of a running back. Soft hands like a receiver. Speed of a gazelle. The name of an athlete. His exploits are bound to make Morgantown feel joyous.

Big Ten
Illinois: One word. Twenty-seven syllables. Scheelhaase. The expectations of quarterback play in Champaign have been lowered somewhat considerably with Juice Williams play post Cinderella run. And with Nathan Scheelhasse growing up with a practitioner of the Petrino supersytem? They may not get all the way back, but they may not be in the crater of 2009 again.
Indiana: Darius Willis is a talented running back with a nice combination of speed and power. With a competent offense returning, even after the graduation of Rodger Saffold, his health is the key to bringing Indiana a chance to roll into a bowl game. The non-conference schedule (Towson, at Western Kentucky, Akron, Arkansas State) is the other one.
Iowa: I'm not going to roll up on you with Adrian Clayborn. You don't need me to tell you that he's awesome. Ricky Stanzi? You may not think he's awesome from a cursory look at the stats. But look at the man's gunslinger Q-rating. It's astronomical. He plays for America. He plays for the streets. He speaks to the hope Obama once espoused.
Michigan: Not since the days of Tim Biakabutka have the Wolverines had such a slasher cum home run hitter with a fabulous name. Meet Fitzgerald Toussaint. Out for 2009 with a broken collarbone, there is an opening for a runner with real home run power in Rich Rod's offense. And Youngstown's finest just might roll out on a sprint through green grass and opportunity.
Michigan State: Greg Jones. He's a linebacker with boldness and power to his game. With another stank of controversy wafting through the East Lansing football program? He is a steadying force. And we will see him on Sunday next year.
Minnesota: It's not often where you can lose an Eric Decker and still have a competent receiving corps. But with the athleticism of Troy Stoudermire? There is some promise that if they actually get a quarterback to complete 60% of their passes to Goldy, they will be able to put some points on the board.
Northwestern: I probably shouldn't be typing this as I am skipping having some semblance of a lunch, but I can't kelp but think Arby's when it comes to love and Northwestern. Arby Fields has a certain Tyrell Sutton to his game. Roast beef between the tackles, curly fries on the outside, and hands as soft and cool as a Jamocha shake. I'll stop now.
Ohio State: Tresselball looks to be as much of a comforting force as a sweatervest on a cool September evening. Terrelle Pryor cannot be keyed on this season. Team Boom-Saine is back and ready to roll. And with the awesome Dane Sanzenbacher ready to catch more passes? You can see this team ready to lose (or win?) another BCS game.
Penn State: We all know that Evan Royster is awesome, and we all know that with a stronger offensive line and an inexperienced quarterback, we're not going to see this team roll out in a high defenition wild style. Now that being said, I like Silas Redd better than Evan Royster. It's for obvious reasons.
Purdue: I know it seems as if I'm going to mock someone for not being able to handle Jacory Harris and The U, but Robert Marve has found a tremendous opportunity. Even a down year at Purdue allows a quarterback chances of success in terms of statistics. And spending a winter in West Lafayette after spending a winter in Miami? If Robert Marve does not have a chip on his shoulder he is lazier than I am.
Wisconsin: As a homer? I have to admit the hype of this years team kind of scares me. Not to say that there isn't a lot to like here. The Badgers look to have a very strong offense with John Clay having a monster season and with Scott Tolzien looking like the best returning passer. But J.J. Watt needs someone else to emerge as sort of awesome as well. It's the wrong conference to have an inexperienced D-line.

Conference USA
East Carolina: Dwayne Harris has a chance to develop a special relationship with whoever emerges as the quarterback. He returned three kicks for scores last year and caught 83 passes from Patick Pickney. This year he gets some semblance of the air raid offense with Lincoln Riley calling the plays. Considering the situation the team's in? He could threaten 130 catches.
Houston: Underrated in the Case Keenum throw the ball all over the field train? The Cougars have two tremendous runners. After Bryce Beall got hurt during the season? Charles Sims came out and won Conference USA's Freshman of the year award with a decent season running the ball and remarkably soft hands. (70 catches). Sims has a touch of Reggie Bush in him. And they're gonna be really dangerous because of it.
Marshall: The defense has a real thumper in Mario Harvey. 100-plus tackles and 7 sacks to his credit in 2009 and with Kellen Harris and Vinny Curry along the front seven? This front seven has a chance to be best in breed. The offense on the other hand. They got this interesting recruit to throw the ball around? If only I could remember his name? (Willy Korn).
Memphis: If you want a quarterback with a good omen in his name? Cannon Smith has to be the antithesis of Kale Pick. This Miami Transfer is the best case to improve the Tigers 2-10 record last year. But if he doesn't... you know who his dad is, right? He's the CEO of Federal Express and the T. Boone Pickens of this shit. So it's win win, kid. Win. Win.
Rice: For a team that went into November threatening to join Western Kentucky and Eastern Michigan as a reverse unbeaten, the Owls are downright spry. Last years team was unlucky and young. This years team returns 20 starters and adds Sam McGuffie to a strong backfield. All right, I'll say it. The Owls will make a bowl game.
SMU: I know that pass efficiency is not the most accurate of stats. But if you consider the fact that 200 pass attempts is the qualifying number for efficiency rating? Case Keenum was not the best quarterback in Conference USA. It was the Mustangs Kyle Padron. He may have lost Emmanuel Sanders and Shawnbrey McNeal, but he's got three years of eligibility left. He's gonna be on draftboards come 2011.
Southern Miss: One of the few teams I have gone to the repeat well upon on multiple occasions was your Golden Eagles. DeAndre Brown is big, rangy, and has the De prefix on the name that just adds a certain piquant flavor to the on-field skills. But they've found a defensive counterpart to it as well! Cordarro Law. He's big. Pass-rushy. And he has a name of a lost Babylonian Code of Conduct. So yay.
Tulane: The portmanteau that makes twelve year old me chuckle the most resides here. Casey Robottom is the leading returning pass catcher for the Green Wave. Previous generations of families were employed as robot butts to the Steam Punk builders in the last generation. It was hard dangerous work. They're proud of Casey for getting into such a good school.
Tulsa: An unlucky team with an unorthodox full Malzahn styled offense has a chance to be something very interesting. Left Tackle Tyler Holmes should be healthy. And if he's healthy? G.J. Kinne has a chance to do a real nice Mitch Mustain impression. And Charles Clay? Charles Clay is a real nice thumper.
UAB: The most surprising fact about the Blazers is that quality safety Hiram Atwater is in no way related to badass Denver Bronco Steve Atwater. Hiram hits hard. He covers the field with a quality amount of athleticism. And he makes a lot of plays. Hiram Atwater Senior may have never played the game. But the Sales Rep has brought a strong player into Birmingham.
UCF: I may not be an active trendhunter, but in doing my research, I've found something. We are becoming a college football world where the running backs have names of ladies. Christine Michael was the first. But we've found two more. One resides in Central Florida. The name? Brynn Harvey. He's coming off of a thousand yard season.
UTEP: The cultural irrelevancy of conference USA can be locked down to a late night game in El Paso last September. Donald Buckram went off for 262 yards versus the Houston Cougars and helped UTEP get 58 on the then #12 Cougars. Blame him for the lack of interest in Houston going to the Big 12. Blame him for no run for the BCS for the conference. And blame him for keeping Mike Price from being fired.

Independents (FBS)
Army: They went into the last game of 2009 needing a win to qualify for a bowl game. And all credit goes to Trent Steelman. His talent does not matter. The name implies that he is the sort of gunslinger who is just having fun out there. And he deserves to be treated as such.
Navy: If you could have someone considered to be a service academy NFL Draft prospect? You need to get hyped for Jabaree Tuani. To be a 3-4 defensive end that's about 4 inches and 30 pounds below your standard issue prospect and find yourself being a real disruptive force is impressive. To do it as a Sophomore is amazing.
Notre Dame: Have you ever been to Braxston Cave? If not you should go. It houses a lot of bats. Blitzing stalactites and stalagmites. But if you go? Be careful. You may roll up and find yourself getting iced.

Mid-American
Akron: They always say that great writers steal, and from Matt Sussman I will bestow my entry for the Zips. Their quarterback is named Pat Nicely, which is the standard for the Minnesota State Patrol. (An aside: I do enjoy players whose name could be considered a sentence. So yeah. Whoo.)
Ball State: Ball State returns every starter on offense from last years team that went the top of the mountain to 2-10. Stan Parrish believes in Kelly Page as much as you could believe in any quarterback with a girls name. And with a veteran offensive line and the return of MiQuale Lewis? They will at the very least put multiple points upon the scoreboard.
Bowling Green: The pic-a-nic baskets around Bowling Green, Ohio will be in danger as we come through this summer. The reason? "Booboo" Gates. He's a freshman with the wheels that have allowed him to terrorize Jellystone Park for the better part of six decades now. Just so long as his mentor "Worldwide" Yogi Bear doesn't prove to be a negative influence.
Buffalo: The Bulls have a shark hunting the deep third of the field. He led the team in tackles last year. He may not have the De prefix to his name, but you know what? I think Davonte Shannon is just fine enough to do good work without needing a vowel switch. He's great at the killshot.
Central Michigan: Killer B's rule the Chip nation after the graduation of Dan LeFevour and Antonio Brown. The linebacker tag team of Nick Bellore and Matt Berning is a dual threat of 100 tackles and can help to withstand the graduations along the defensive line. Add to that a shout-out to famed over-actor Armand Assante in the misspelled Armond Staten? And you have some quality linebacking.
Eastern Michigan: I know when you have two quarterbacks it seems as if you're stuck with zero. But when that's the total amount of wins you had last season, the potential future of the quarterback position is where hope begins. And as I pat myself on the back for that segue? I will tell you that Alex Gillett played well in an untenable situation and Devontae Payne has the build and athleticism that could lead to an interesting impression of Terrelle Pryor somehwere down the line.
Kent State: Cobra-la-la-la-la-la is the battle cry for the Golden Flashes. It's in response to the excellent linebacking of Middle Linebacker and RichRod runoff Cobrani Mixon. He's got good physical gifts that he brings to the table, and as this team stands to be pretty good, Cobrani may have power in his future.
Miami (OH): In 2008, it was Buffalo. In 2009, it was Temple. In 2010, the Redhawks are the breakout candidate. They had severe bad luck with injuries and turnovers last year. This year? They have potential professional Zac Dysert being protected by an offensive line that returns every starter. Nine defensive starters return. They won all of a game last year. This year? They could be playing for the conference championship.
Northern Illinois: Following a thread from Central Florida, we've got a hotshot JUCO who's threatening thousand yard rusher Craig Spann. And I will tell you this. Doing a Garrett Wolfe impression makes Jasmin Hopkins feel like a princess. A pretty, pretty princess.
Ohio: It's going to be another mixed pop culture metaphor, but the Ohio receiving corps, even with the loss of Taylor Price, is going to make fans of the Bobcats fart with an aww yeah. Okay, let's see if I can't dig myself out. Price may have been a good home run threat, but Terrance McGee was just as good. Steven Goulet has that essential Goulet. And LaVon Brazill? His return skills make you go aww yeah. Aww yeah.
Temple: If you're a MAC watcher? You have to be wondering what last years breakout team is going to do for an encore. I'm not going to take liberty of making a projection, but I will say this. Bernard Pierce stays healthy? Chester Stewart will be allowed to molest a defense. And the odds of them getting to ten wins are pretty, pretty good.
Toledo: The Rockets have a shot to get all literary with the return of a Freshman sensation named Eric Page. He led all Freshman in terms of catches and receiving yards. He also does some return work with a decent amount of skills. Austin Dantin has a good target to get the ball to.
Western Michigan: Aaron Winchester is the sort of guy who looks like he could have been better served by being an East Coast Heir going west to find his fortune in Red Dead Redemption. But as such? He's got the speed and small frame power of a bullet. And he steps into the light as a potential heir to the Bronco's offense.

Mountain West
Air Force: The reason why Troy Calhoun stayed in Colorado Springs? He's got a quality running back stable. For somebody who runs out of the flexbone? You've got a lot of talent. Asher Clark and Jared Tew are both quality runners. Tew is the thumper. Clark is the converted ex-quarterback. Tew is by the book. Clark is the loose cannon who plays by his own rules. As much as the service academy would allow.
BYU: Like so many second banana's, it takes adversity for their opportunity to shine. After Harvey Unga left school, there's an opportunity for carries. The best choice? JJ De Luigi. And if you need me to explain why he is the perfect second banana running back name, I will tell you to kindly go fuck yourself. Kindly.
Colorado State: I was going to talk about Mychal Sisson's quality defense in terms of launching himself into ballcarriers. But I paged through The Sporting News College Football Preview. It named Pete Kontodiakos the biggest underachiever in the Mountain West. He's the Rams Punter. Can you see why this is hilarious to me?
New Mexico: Now, I've made plenty of mention on how the "Boy named Sue" has made inroads at running back. But did you know that the Lobos have it at linebacker? It's true! Carmen Messina led college football with 162 tackles as the team was kind of bad. He returns. And the defensive line may allow him more free reign.
San Diego State: The Aztecs get a hope spot. As last year, Ryan Lindley was getting hit and hit hard by defenses last year. And he managed a 55% completion rate and a positive TD-INT ratio. This year? 4 starters on the offensive line and a solid junior college recruit should protect Lindley better. As such, the Atzecs should get better for it.
TCU: Just like you want a quarterback named Cannon, you would want a linebacker named Tank. And in Tank Carder, the Horned Frogs have themselves someone downright beastly in the middle of the field. He's the returning leader in tackles, tackles for loss, and in an ironic twist of fate? Pass breakups.
UNLV: I'm always convinced that someone who ends their names with two consecutive consonants, unless it's something acceptable like Bill or Glenn, will go through life with a chip on their shoulder. Starr Fuimaono is the sort of man built to play middle linebacker. And if he stays healthy? His tackles number could get doubled very easily.
Utah: Eddie Wide is the starting running back with an ironic name. Why? Because the an is simply and positively svelte in terms of running back size. Get it? He's fast and the back-up is wide! The fact you think this joke is unfunny is the reason why the Utes are joining the Pac-10. That and the money. More the money.
Wyoming: The spread offense is something where the quality of the quarterback dictates the quality of play. And for the Cowboys? Austyn Carta-Samuels led Wyoming to a bowl victory last year with little more than pluck and a dude named Alvester playing wingman. This year, Austyn has the opportunity to consolidate his skill set and grow his brand.

Pacific-10
Arizona: Considering the tomfoolery coming home to roost of the top two programs? There's an opening for the Wildcats getting in on the Rose Bowl. They have a spectacular pass rusher in Ricky Elmore, a shut down cornerback in Trevin Wade, and a talented arm in Nick Foles. If Nic Grigsby stays healthy? They've got a chance at something special.
Arizona State: Vontaze Burfict is a bad man. If you're looking for a man who will be voted most likely to knock a sucker the fuck out? Burfict is perfect. There doesn't seem to be much else here? But Burfict will get Arizona State on SportsCenter at least one Saturday Night.
California: The chain of crazy numbers put up by the Golden Bears running game since Jeff Tedford's arrival has been underrated. From J.J. Arrington to Marshawn Lynch to Justin Forsett to Jahvid Best? The Bears have always had quality on the ground game. Shane Vereen? He's going to maintain the lineage.
Oregon: One could politely call the off-season of the Ducks adventurous. Mention Jeremiah Masoli to one Dan Rubenstein and chuckle at his involuntary flinch. But the fact remains (at least as of this writing) they still have LaMichael James. But you have Lache Seastrunk if James can't cool out. I may just root for Seastrunk on the principle of awesome names alone.
Oregon State: There's really nothing else beyond the sequel to the Rodgers brothers. These are tiny men who allow the Beavers to matriculate the ball down the field. And they are awesome. They just need a quarterback to manage the game and provide aid and comfort to the Rodgers. Ryan Katz may not be a doctor, but he just might be the proper therapist.
Stanford: You may not realize it when you consider that Stanford spent most of the Aught's in the wilderness and their one professional draftee turned out to be Trent Edwards, but Stanford's been a place where good quarterbacks have emerged. Andrew Luck has a chance to rebuild the lineage. With 4 returning starters on the offensive line and a deep and solid receiving corps, Toby Gerhart's graduation may not hurt the offense nearly as much as one would think.
UCLA: Kevin Prince has an opportunity to sneak into the radar screens of drafters, draftniks, and general fans of college football, Nick Foles style. He has four returning linemen and two pretty good receivers in Nelson Rosario and Taylor Embree. I know it's not going to inspire much love from this entree, but that's something I know Rick Neuheisel has to bet on.
USC: Suddenly, Lane Kiffin gets to do an impression of Terry Bowden at Auburn. Because this is still a tremendously talented team with a strong amount of youth energy. Dillon Baxter is someone you need to believe the hype in. But if they don't go anywhere, will they give a damn in a conference where suddenly anyone believes they can make a dream run? Lane Kiffin may be good at things, but motivation is not be one of them.
Washington: Jake Locker has probably cost himself something around 20 million dollars with his decision to return and attempt to be the minor circuit champion of the Pac-10. Though it would surprise me if he doesn't improve his numbers. Chris Polk emerged as a quality running back, and the receivers and line are deep and experienced as well. It's a difficult schedule, but they'll get a well-deserved bowl game out of it.
Washington State: Here's the thing? Washington State may not be completely terrible. They have 9 returning starters from an offense that broke badly last year. It should improve. But their defensive line has a real chance to be strong like bull. 4 returning starters and experienced depth behind them. And Paul Wulff loves the linebacking corps. It may not get them to a bowl game, but it may not be an easy W, here.

Southeastern
Alabama: Marcell Dareus may not have been necessary to win the national championship, but he sure did help. If he didn't seperate the shoulder of a goofy looking motherfucker like Colt McCoy, they wouldn't have had to force a true freshman to climb out of such an insurmountable hole. Football is a violent game, and Dareus will break some fools again next year.
Arkansas: Arkansas returns ten starters on offense. Not just the chill bro cannon arm of Ryan Mallett. Not just two big power backs in Broderick Green and Ronnie Wingo. Not just all linemen besides the right guard. Not just a deep, talented, and tough receiving corps. (Joe Adams didn't let a STROKE end his season). Everybody.
Auburn: Cameron Newton once bumped hips with Tim Tebow in celebration of a beat down of some random non-conference strange. He has since found his way through the shadows and into the light of the plains. There's a real scenario where the Tigers are going to get to the Iron Bowl unbeaten. And it will come from the physical gifts of Cam Effin' Newton.
Florida: The strength this year? Speed. Pure badass American speed. Chris Rainey and Jeff Demps will start and be home run threats. And Andre Debose may be a better player and athlete. Add Mike Gillislee's athleticism and Steve Addazio may add a fly sweep to his QB Dive and Y Stick.
Georgia: It's not an automatic guarantee that a talented 4-3 defensive end is going to rock as a 3-4 OLB. But Georgia has a very interesting talent who's making the transition. Justin Houston is the SEC's returning leader in sacks. He comes correct in 2010 and a lot of defensive worries get solved.
Kentucky: I was lucky, I had never made mention of Randall Cobb's versatile weapon based awesomeness. And he's a force of nature and he will win at least two games by himself this year. It's a necessary thing, at least until Mister Cobble and Qua Hizzle are ready for battle.
LSU: The obvious rap song reference to LSU is Aesop Rock's "None Shall Pass." The secondary from LSU is deadly. Morris Claiborne's cat-like agility is strong enough to move Jai Eugene to safety. Brandon Taylor has been great at Strong Safety. And lest we forget Pat Peterson. Nobody's gonna throw on them.
Mississippi: Mississippi always has a strong defensive line. That's why the Admiral Akbar as mascot meme has failed. Jerrell Powe and Kentrell Lockett are jocks. Star Wars fans are their natural enemies. One drunken night in Oxford? They walked right in a trap and walked out unscathed.
Mississippi State: Not since A Christmas Story had family dogs upsetting Darren McGavin's shit have we seen a Bumphis finding a way to wreak havoc. Chad Bumphis has the skills to get open and the athleticism to take balls to the house. A quarterback gets the ball to him, and it's not a question of maybe. He will be awesome.
South Carolina: He may be the #2 receiver in terms of looks and perception, but you know what? Tori Gurley's name is infinitely better at being mocked than an Alshon Jeffrey. You know I wouldn't have the guts to do it to his face, but he's a big wideout with a lady name. It's all upside in Gamecock nation.
Tennessee: They may not be in a position to start fast, but this is a team that has some real interesting skill position talent. Gerald Jones is the leader of a veteran receiving corp that helped rehabilitate Jonathan Crompton from catfish to a draftable quarterback. He has another challenge to lead this year. Add in Tauren Poole stepping into the Volunteer running back factory? And this team could finish fast.
Vanderbilt: If you've come this far, you know that I am a fan of bloodlines. You also know that I am a shameless (if not pensive) homer. So when I heard that Vanderbilt, whose quarterbackery last year was...sketchy, shall we say, went the JC route to get a prospect named Jordan Rodgers. AND HE'S RELATED TO AARON RODGERS. Vanderbilt has somebody to love. Done.

Sun Belt
Arkansas State: With the recruiting of Dwayne Frampton, the Red Wolves look to come alive offensively. You have a veteran offensive line and an interesting battle at quarterback between Ryan Aplin and Phillip Butterfield. Whoever wins has a team on the verge of being very interesting.

An aside? How dare Phillip Butterfield accept a number other than 8?

Florida Atlantic: If you're looking for a strong safety, you don't normally look toward a man listed at 5'9" and 161 pounds. But then again? Marcus Bartels is not most men. With a gashed defensive line? Bartels was the last line of defense. And he navigated with style and aplomb.
FIU: He may not be listed as the #1 on the depth chart at present, but you have to respect Toronto Smith. One, it allows Bill Simmons to make a reference to Teen Wolf, and you know that's never happened before. Two, he's the returning leader in sacks and tackles for loss. And three? His parents named him after a Canadian city. That's awesome.
LA Lafayette: It may sound crazy, but in the world where the move tight end that spreads the field is in vogue in the NFL? The Ragin' Cajuns may have a legitimate NFL Prospect. He's LaDarius Green, and it may just be from one play, but the dude caught a 91 yard TD pass. If he has a good year, do not be surprised to see him drafted in Round 3.
LA Monroe: An inexperienced line may tamper expectations, but the Warhawks have one of the best in the Sun Belt with Frank Goodin. He runs hard and he runs angry. He just needs a little Junior College magic to get back to previous levels.
Middle Tennessee: I try to avoid sequels. So I will only mention Dwight Dasher in passing. He operated at peak efficiency because he had lighting named DD Kyles at tailback. He gets the thunder of Phillip Tanner coming back as well. Favorites of the Sun Belt? Absolutely.
North Texas: Names with lyricism are awesome. Names that you could break out a bad NBA Public Address announcer? Just beautiful. The Mean Green's best pass rusher fits both of these qualifications. David Akpunku. Try it. Ak-Puuuuuuuuuuuuunk-u! Awesome.
Troy: Now, the urge to make a Chitty Chitty Bang Bang joke in celebration of hotshot recruit B.J. Chitty is strong. But I will fight it. And I will fight making a Sidney Moncrief reference in relation to Brett Moncrief. Why? The double Double J's. Josh Jarboe is the man good enough to get a scholarship to Oklahoma. Jerrel Jernigan is the reliable target with angry skills in terms of kick returns.
Western Kentucky: It may not be an easy road for the Red Drank to crawl out of last seasons wreckage. But the cupboard is not completely bare. If you consider how consistently the defensive line was gashed last year? Thomas Majors managed 101 tackles. He now has a tag team's worth of beef protecting him. It's a long road back, but they'll take the next step.

Western Athletic
Boise State: Point of fact? The lovely and talented writer of whose that you see in front of you hates memes. They're hacky and no good joke usually comes out of them. This means I kind of have to root against Boise State early on. Talk of Boise as BCS Champion sounds as painful to me as the spiciest piece of Flying Pie pizza. (But if they get there? I won't be rooting for an upset.)
Fresno State: Robbie Rouse may not be a trendsetter because his is the name of a dude. But he is adorably Quinton Griffin sized. And with the graduation of Ryan Matthews and Lonyae Miller? He has the entire field to himself for run game purposes. And the line that got Matthews to the 1st Round in the NFL draft? Returns everybody.
Hawaii: The Rainbow Warriors have three quality pieces at wideout. And none of them are adorably gritty like Davone Bess either. Darius Bright is the hotshot recruit with very intriguing triangle numbers. (6'5" 225 4.47) Mark Salas is the 6'2" guy who came up from being a walk-on to grabbing 106 balls last year. And Kealoha Pilares is a pass catcher who can turn into a running back when he gets the ball in space. Never mind week one. This team can be good.
Idaho: The one bit of good news that came out of last season was that a nation of college football fans discovered that Idaho head coach Robb Akey was actually pretty awesome. Sweet shades, a cool mustache, and the voice of a jazzman. This team may be underestimated again, but the fact that they recruited Pat Forde's superhero alter-ego Maxx Forde proves that they are not to be forgotten. (A beefy O-line in a mid-major also helps too.)
Louisiana Tech: Ross Jenkins is what someone would consider to be the luckiest boy in America. He was an efficient and generally solid thrower under the Derek Dooley regime. He gets to be the wheelman for the air raid offense. Or it could be Auburn transfer and spring practice ace Steven Emsinger. Either way? They have a potentially special receiver in Phillip Livas.
Nevada: In the insane offensive numbers that the Wolfpack can pull up on the ground? They had a three headed monster of thousand yard rushers. With the graduation of Luke Lippincott? Vai Taua suddenly has a chance to take a chokehold on the time share. 1,500 yards rushing may only be his floor. Also? Vai is a girls name. So you have to love that.
New Mexico State: Not for nothing, but there is something to build on here. Seth Smith is a nondescript name for a thousand yard rusher. And when you consider how successful the passing game was (6 TD/17 INT), Smith had a tremendous season. And the Aggies can roll out a quality pass rush as well with Pierre Fils and Donte Savage. They're kind of like Hawaii. They won't be dominant, but they should be quite improved.
San Jose State: In history, Pompey was named an emperor in the Roman triumvirate because he was an easy mark. Now while I am clearly mixing my metaphors by invoking Rome with Spartan matters, Pompey Festejo is not a man to be trifled with. He is a bad, bad man.
Utah State: Robert Turbin was a sophomore who one could deem unjinxed. At least until the kid tore his ACL in February. So, the Aggies turn their lonely eyes once again to Diandre Borel. He had a nice year last year. If the line makes something out of the fact that they're experienced? He will be great again.

So there you go. 120 teams. All up in here. College football is coming. And it's gonna be fun.

The Milwaukee Bucks select (Tiny Gallon PF-Oklahoma)

2010-06-24T22:28:00.000-05:00

There are two scenarios about how this pick is going to go down. He's either going to have a chip on his shoulder about falling to pick 47 and he's gonna come into the league ready to kill some suckers. He's big and powerful with a deft touch in the paint. They say he can grow up to be a rich man's Big Baby.

Or? He's gonna go into camp at about 330. He's gonna get beaten defensively by Larry Sanders. And he's going to be released by 2012.

Like I said earlier. This is what the Bucks could afford to do this year. Take a flier on a high-upside guy. No problem with it.

The Milwaukee Bucks select (Jerome Jordan C-Tulsa)

2010-06-24T22:18:00.000-05:00

I'll tell you what? If he plays as well defensively as he did as a sophomore? He'll become overpaid on his second contract. His offensive game is serviceable. He developed a decent range from 12-15 feet. That being said?

He's a 24 year old and he's kind of soft. Also, they passed on Paulo Prestes. You could have grabbed Alabi at 47 if you were so insistent on getting a center for right now.

As a pro? I think he'll be serviceable. I'm not sure that he'll be anything more than that. .

The Milwaukee Bucks select (Darrington Hobson-SF New Mexico)

2010-06-24T21:58:00.000-05:00

Not thrilled, but not terribly upset. Hobson's not an athlete. But he's a versatile sort. He'll give you a little bit in a lot of areas. His energy will generate a decent amount of rebound, as well as a combined 2 or 3 steals and blocks. His stride allows him to beat defenders off the dribble. And if he works on his shot? He'll be deadly. Because he's a fine point forward.

He's a good off-the-bench addition. I feel like he would have been there at 44 or 47 though.

Like I said. I could be very wrong or very right about him..

The Milwaukee Bucks select (Larry Sanders PF-VCU)

2010-06-24T20:07:00.000-05:00

The kid has upside. Right off the bat? He's a shotblocker and rebounder. Give him time to work and build strength? There's a real chance this kid could match the rebounding numbers of DeMarcus Cousins. Sounds hyperbolic, but the rebounding stats don't lie. And he knows what he's doing here.

All in all? It's a great pick, and team him with Ilyasova and you have a quality 4.

Gut grade? B+

So what do I want from the Bucks?

2010-06-24T17:59:00.000-05:00

In a nutshell? Best player available. Expanding on that, the Bucks are not without needs and desires. But here's the tree things I want the Bucks to do.

1) Get a good power forward.

The dream scenario is that Patrick Patterson falls to 15. Will it happen? Maybe. But it's not likely. The possibilities that will likely be there preclude Patterson or Cole Aldrich. But the Bucks would be better served with a great four than an potentially good five. There are serviceable 2nd round fives this year.

If Larry Sanders is available? I would be thrilled. Dude gets stronger and he's going to be a disruptive force. I can;t talk myself into Orton or Whiteside. Upside guys who fall to this spot rarely pan out.

But with guys like Craig Brackins and Jarvis Vanardo in round two? I can get behind an other option. Just so long as it's not a small forward who has the perceived value of 10-20. They all suck if they're not named Daimon James.

So suffice it to say? Patterson is the dream scenario. A more realistic scenario would be Larry Sanders or Xavier Henry. No one would say James Anderson, but I could get behind that as a pick.

2) Get a foreign dude.

I was misinformed. The #2 that's going to Jersey for CDR doesn't come due until 2012. So basically, the Bucks may have a roster space issue. Assume that Salmons, Ivey, Stackhouse, Darrell Jackson and Brezec's gone? The Bucks are at 10.

Most teams like to remain at a roster size of 13. And anyway? This draft has two tremendously interesting foreigners in the Russian Alexy Shved and the Brazillian Big Man Paulo Prestes. Though a German Big Man like Tibor Pleiss? Send him to Milwaukee and he'd feel right at home.

3) The Luc Richard.

If ever there was an opportunity to take a flier on a diamond in the rough or a straight up specialist? It's this year. If John Hammond likes Tyren Johnson as much as I do? This is the year to go after it. Now the VP of common sense may disagree with this premise. But? I would not get so upset if a flier gets taken.

Draft starts in 32 minutes: Join me on twitter to follow my live tweet.

Power Forward and a Center Dumpster Diving.

2010-06-24T03:50:00.000-05:00

The fact of the matter is that this draft is something interesting. You have a lot of interesting talent that would likely fall in the undrafted tier. The Jamario Moon All-Stars? Very interesting this year. And the microcosm of a drafts depth?

When a center in the second round is somebody with the upside of a good starter.

Paulo Prestes (6'10 270 Brazil)
He's a beast in terms of power. He's not the most athletic guy in terms of speed and the up and down? But he is an agile dude. And unlike your Anderson Varejao? He will go down and take the pain. Also? Not offensively useless beyond flopping. Solid prospect when he'll come to America..

Power Forwards? In a twitter-sixed Fashion? Sure.
8. Magnum Rolle (6'11" 200 Louisiana Tech) If he gained 20 pounds of muscle? He would have a future as a Dollar Tree Marcus Camby.
7. Luke Harangody (6'8" 250 Notre Dame) I do expect his scoring total to drop considerably. But his rebounding totals will coalesce to allow him to make an NBA rotation.
6. Charles Garcia (6'10" 230 Seattle) The archetypal superb athlete with a poor basketball IQ. So yeah. Call it a master of one scenario.
5. Latavious Williams (6'8" 190 Tulsa 66ers) For a skinny guy whose main strength is athleticism? He's got a tremendous defensive upside.
4. Trevor Booker (6'7" 230 Clemson) This years most likely to be Chuck Hayes with mad rebounding skills.
3. Craig Brackins (6'10" 230 Iowa State) Enigmatic. He's got the skills to be a great shooter and rebounder. But hes got his inside shooting percentage is weak. But the fact is? The team sucked. And he was good. Imagine if he lands on a good team?
2. Jarvis Vanardo (6'9" 210 Mississippi State) Blocks and blocks and blocks and blocks. And also rebounds.
1. Gani Lawal (6'8" 233 Georgia Tech) An energetic defender with good athleticism. His floor is that he's going to be a great 7th man in a rotation.

Small Forward Dumpster Diving.

2010-06-23T21:44:00.000-05:00

Going for twitter sized bits and bites. There's a lot that interests me here and I cannot fight to post more than that. So, let's roll.

10. Tyren Johnson (6'8" 205 UL-Lafayette) A small school Josh Smith with surprising range. Won't be drafted. But watch him.
9. Tyler Smith (6'7" 210 Tennessee) A defender who would be ranked much higher if he could've kept his head right.
8. Vladimir Dasic (6'9" 225 Serbia) If he gets religion about playing inside? The sky's the limit. Big and physically gifted. Great defense.
7. Nemanja Bjelica (6'10" 210 Serbia) A 6'10" lead guard who needs to control the ball to be good.
6. Marquis Blakely (6'5" 220 Vermont) Yeah, he's undersized. But he's disruptive and smart. He's this years Diamon Simpson.
5. Darrington Hobson (6'7" 220 New Mexico) A lefty point forward who needs work on his J and lacks some athleticism. Will likely kill in Italy.
4. Lazar Heyward (6'6" 225 Marquette) Will be a great 7th man. Strong enough to defend a good four with good intangibles and an underrated shot and athleticism.)
3. Devin Ebanks (6'8" 205 West Virginia) Is it a question of pace or assertiveness? His offensive game is tremendous inside the arc and he vacuums up a goodly sum of boards. But 9 shots a game? Too few.
2. Quincy Pondexter (6'6" 220 Washington) Great athlete. Good slasher. An improving defender with an underrated shot from 3. I think I've talked myself into him.
1. Stanley Robinson (6'8 213 UConn) A physical freak who knows his offensive limitations. Good defender. Is he polished? Nope.

The Second Round 2 Guard

2010-06-23T20:23:00.001-05:00

There are quite a few interesting talents here. They all fall into certain archetypes. I'll do a brief explanation as to each, and why they're going to be most likely a second round player. A fringe first rounder at best.

The Steve Kerr (Undersized, Unathletic Bomber.)
Here you have a guy whose strength comes from being the guy you want to be there on the kickout. These guys may have intangibles to bring to the table as well. But have them on the floor longer than 10-15 minutes in the pro game, and they're overextended. They're different than the average combo guard because they lack the necessary athleticism.

This years prospects?
Pietro Aradori-Italy
Andy Rautins-Syracuse
Jon Scheyer-Duke

The Poor Man's __________
They have a destiny that they absolutely could grow up to meet. Everything breaks right, and these guys are a steal. But the reason they're here? Somebody doesn't think they can. Odds are? Those certain somebodies are right. But we can dream, can't we?

This year's prospects?
Aubrey Coleman-Houston (A small Corey Maggette)
Elijah Millsap-UAB (A Corey Maggette-sized Maggette)
Manny Harris-Michigan (Jamal Crawford)
Sylven Landesberg-Virginia (Evan Turner)

The Master of One.
These are kids with several drawbacks. But the fact is, they have one strength that they bring to the table that makes them worth an opportunity, Most often? It involves the ability to create good scoring opportunities for themselves. Though sometimes? People are such good athletes that you can't not take a shot at them. And this may cause them to even climb into round one.

This year's prospects?
Jordan Crawford-Xavier
Lance Stephenson-Cincinnati
Terrico White-Ole Miss
Willie Warren Oklahoma

An interesting day of movement for the Bucks.

2010-06-23T01:34:00.000-05:00

The first part of the day is something along the lines of a free roll. Charlie Bell can be a useful role player. He's high effort and a decent ballhandler. But that's it. He's a good 4th guard. And you have him coming with an albatross of suck in Dan Gadzuric. That's all the Bucks have given up.

Two end of the bench guys? What they got in return. The worst case scenario is that they're interesting. Corey Maggette is a ball stopper with inconsistent defensive effort. He's also a slasher who can attack the basket and generate many opportunities of the free throw variety. The upside? He's the sort of guy who can help a defensive minded team that's sorely missing offense.

The Bucks fit that bill.

And Maggette will be an upgrade over Salmons. He may not be worth the contract. But he will come close. And sometimes for a player? It's all about fit.

And the Bucks flipped the second round pick they got from Golden State. They turned that into Chris Douglas-Roberts. His zany twitter stream aside? I get the sense Skiles would like him. The Comedy Death-Ray's big strength is defense. You know how they say flaky people don't have defensive discipline? Nuts to that. CDR can defend.

Offensively? His game is somewhat similar to Maggette. Attack the basket and draw fouls. You can't hit the three and it kills your offensive efficency as a wing man. But CDR can make a smooth pass. He may only be a rotational guy? But he will bring upside and energy off the bench.

And he'll get more playing time than you think as well. Skiles loves a good defender. And Douglas-Roberts? He's gonna make a fearsome deer. .

Point Guard Dumpster Diving.

2010-06-15T18:06:00.000-05:00

Now we can be honest. This year's draft is as deep as point guards as last years draft is to most other positions. Two will be drafted in round one, and none from a state that lacks the presence of Raylen Givens. That's not to say that you can't get interesting value in round two. Because you can.

Let's break down guys from May Be Drafted to Likely Drafted.

8) Stefan Markovic 6'5" 210 Yugoslavia

The sort of a guard whose strength is in the little things he does. His shot is inconsistent. Especially from beyond the arc. But he's a dynamic playmaker and he has moments of spectacular defense. Though there are European Guards that have taken him down before. But he's a veteran of the Euro wars and a coach could easily fall in love with him.

But that shot has to improve.

7) Jerome Randle 5'10" 160 California

There's a lot to like about Randle. He's a fast fearless penetrator who managed to hit the unwritten rule for sharpshooting in two consecutive seasons. (90-50-40). He's also a consistent distributor and a killer of zone defenses. The problem? You can see it for yourself. Good short point guards won't get picked. If he was 6'2" he would be a first rounder.

As it is? He's likely to get ignored.

6) Ben Uzoh 6'3" 200 Tulsa

If you're looking for a comprable player, it's Bo McCalebb. A super-sized McCalebb, but bear with me. Both have great speed. Both know how to get to the rack. Both are more twos than point guards when they were draft eligible. But McCalebb became a very intriguing prospect in three Euro Seasons.

Uzoh will likely be ignored here. But in 2013? He'll be an NBA player.

5) Mikhail Torrance 6'5" 210 Alabama

He's big. He can distribute at a very professional level. And he's very strong defensively. However? He's not a great shooter. That can be improved. His incessant habit of needing to switch up to his left hand to finish at the basket? That's weird. And scouts don't like weird.

But he does have ridiculous upside potential. Expect him to be in many D-League blogs.

4) Alexey Shved 6'6" 175 Russia

If this was 2006? He'd be a 1st round pick. NBAdraft.net compares him to Penny Hardaway. And I can see it. He's a tall distributor with great athleticism and an ability to create for others. He's also with good defensive instincts and a decent shot. But he's raw.

He'll get picked in the second round. And be interesting to dream about. Looking at you David Kahn.

3) Sherron Collins 5'11" 205 Kansas

If you're this bad of a shot, you shouldn't be a lead guard. I mean, there's things to like. He has good speed, and some real handles. He can beat his man off the dribble. But like Travon Hughes, he doesn't do so much with the kick out. And he may not make the transition to the pros because of it.

But that being said? He learns to share and he'll be more than a rotational player.

2) Greivis Vazquez 6'5" 195 Maryland

He's a self-made sort of player. He improved his passing, his perimeter shot, his ability to disrupt passing lanes and those things known as "intangibles" during his run at Maryland. And there were several instances where he singlehandedly took down a big scalp. Which is good and bad. See, his build is thin, and the guy taking over 20 shots a game and making 8 of them? That's Zap Branigan leadership.

But then again? He could have a career as a Vinnie Johnson off the bench. He seems to have learned "the secret."

1) Armon Johnson 6'3" 195 Nevada

He's got an interesting lefty skill set. He's got good athleticism and a second gear to find an open shot. His lefty pull-up from the mid-range is deadly. His shot creating skill is improving, it's not all the way there yet. But even with over three turnovers a game, he still managed 1.65 Asstists for evey turnover.

He's not Ramon Sessions, but he's got a skill set that has him going in early round 2. He unlearns being the lead guard? He's very interesting.

My statement to Tom Izzo in regards to his move...

2010-06-09T14:15:00.001-05:00

Mad props to the WFNY. Color that news broken son.

Jim Joyce has officially become an Icon.

2010-06-02T21:36:00.000-05:00

And he is feeling terrible about it. Not that he doesn't deserve some sympathy because he owned up to making such an egregious cock-up. But still, how can you make that call in that situation? Okay, backstory for those who've stumbled upon this website off of an inadvertant search for Kim Kardashian's ass.

Armando Galarraga retired 26 batters. 26 up, 26 down. He was one out away from a perfect game. He got Jason Donald to ground out for the 27th out. Any cursory glance at a replay would tell you so.

Excepting for the fact Jim Joyce called Jason Donald safe.

There are so many reasons why this is should not have happened. I am the sort of fat out of shape guy who would be considered the target of the insults of a Ravishing Rick Rude and I would have made sure I had a decent look at the play if I was at second or working at home. It's the scenario that's tailor made for instant replay. And for crap sake? Any NBA referee would have protected a moment of history.

The scorekeeper can still at least give Armando something. All you have to do is make the call an error. It gives him a no-hitter. I dunno. I haven't been here in like a month.

I guess you have to be a cool name to become a pitching footnote.

I believe in Sports Karma...

2010-05-09T22:57:00.000-05:00

I do. I believe that certain franchises are cursed because they have players do something bad. Or by the general egomania of certain owners. Sometimes, like when you're the Oakland Raiders? It's a little from column A and a little from Column B.

For whatever reason? The Suns have turned their karma back toward the positive. It could have something to do with Robert Sarver and his Los Suns protest. It could be because they have some of the best healers in professional sports. Or my gods.

Steve Nash had an iconic performance tonight. He went for 20 and 9. And half of that was with one eye. Literally one eye. You're going to try and explain it tomorrow, and peoples minds will be blown.

And as for the likely series versus the Lakers. The Lakers will rightfully be the favorites. But there are reasons for the Suns fans to think they'll find their way into the finals.

One, Kobe has a broken finger and between Jared Dudley and Grant Hill? He has himself a real tough draw. Two? The point guard match-up swings far, far into the favor of the Suns. And with the Suns ability to hit 40% or better from beyond the arc? The draw and kick would be masterful. Three? Lamar Odom waxes and wanes in terms of his entry point.

As such? I say the Suns are your Western Conference Champions.

Ten Questions for a Hundred Dollars?

2010-05-03T23:37:00.000-05:00

Yeah. I said it. You have been challenged. Fill out the 10 questions, and you can get a 100 American dollar gift card if you win the drawing! It's from the fine folks at Yardbarker. So fill out this survey before I decide to bore you with how I inadvertantly insulted famous comedian/actor/chat show man Kevin Pollak.

DO IT NOW!

I'm in the Sky Tonight.

2010-05-03T23:29:00.000-05:00

There I Can Keep By Your Side
Watching the wide world Riot and hiding out.
I'll be coming home next year.

I said after the Bogut injury I would be thrilled if the Bucks got to a Game 6. The simple fact they got there with a chance to win? Gravy. Not that it doesn't hurt? But still. Seven games without Bogut is a moral victory.

That being said? There's things the Bucks can do to solidify their situation. And none of them would involve getting a spectacular free agent, either.

1) Do we need Luke Ridnour?

I'm not sure that we do. It's no offense to Luke. Luke's a tremendous 6th man. In fact? You probably could consider him one of the 30 best point guards on an NBA roster. And that's the problem. The Bucks are the sort of team that should not be paying 7 million a year for Luke.

A sign and trade would be sweet. But I don't think any team that would be interested in dealing a pick in the bottom third of the draft. It may just be worth the time and consideration to bring a guy like Bo McCalebb over from Greece instead. Dude's got a certain sort of quality to him. Fast hands, good anticipation, and no fear of attacking the basket.

And he's just 24. Bringing him over would be like an extra draft choice.

2) Do we need any veteran?

Or does any veteran want to return? I mean Jerry Stackhouse and Kurt Thomas are more than valuable rotational pieces. But if and only if they don't resign any veteran or Darnell Jackson, they'll be under the cap. And they should be in fine shape. Jennings-Salmons-Delfino-1st round draft choice-Bogut with Redd, Ilyasova, and Mbah a Moute are a fine rotation.

But Stackhouse will get more than ta prorated veterans minimum next year. And I agree he deserves it. If Thomas signs for less money? I'd be thrilled to have him and his love of How Stella Got His Groove Back. But a point of fact? These decisions are hard.

And if all three are back? John Hammond is doing it wrong.

3) I would most definitely buy a pick.

Even a pick in the early second round. Sure, they will most likely find something highly interesting in terms of a best player available scenario. But the second round has a lot of value this year. Jordan Crawford. Terrico White. Jarvis Vanardo. Craig Brackins. Sylvan Landesberg. Kenneth Faried. Heck, even Armon Johnson has interesting value as a Ramon Sessionsesque backup point guard. And these guys will all be second round picks. Get Faried, Brackins, and Crawford? This bench will be scary.

I'll delve into basketball further later. First? A piece of Business.

FEAR THE DEER!

2010-04-28T22:13:00.000-05:00

An 18-5 run in the final 4 minutes and the Bucks get to go home up 3-2. Now some would want to give this series to the possibility of Andrew Bogut and the Ewing theory. Don't insult my intelligence. The Bucks won this one despite their inside presence. Horford and Marvin Williams killed the inside.

It's just that the Bucks drew fouls and hit threes. And the Hawks kinda choked. Not to say I'm not greateful for it either. Check my twitter feed.

NBA is kind of fantastic.

Hey, did you know I read?

2010-04-26T16:45:00.000-05:00

I do. And in this world, I review books about Minor League Baseball. My latest one was about Steve Fireovid and his 1990 season in Triple A. Read it won't you?

B.J. Novak is now the less annoying Ryan Howard.

2010-04-26T16:39:00.000-05:00

Now it's not the Subway pitchman's fault. If you were offered 125 million dollars over five years? Goes without saying you'd take it. I mean, you'd be taken to an asylum if you said, "No! I don't want to be paid 25 million dollars to play a sport when I'm 36! That's crazy for you to offer!"

But why Ryan Howard is so annoying is because my favorite local sports team has a first baseman of boldness and genius power. Sure, he enjoys candy a little too much, but he's strong and as long as he's a Brewer? He's going to be someone I enjoy a lot.

But with the Ryan Howard contract? There's no way he's returning. I'm not going to say that I was so naive as to believe that he was anything close to a 50/50 shot to come back. I know basic math and probabilities. But you know what?

I wanted to believe. Hope's a good thing. I mean it's hard to be an idealist upon the internet. And now? In this aspect of my life, I cannot feel good about it. Prince is as good as gone.

Ryan Howard put the final nail in the coffin.

The Five Undrafted Free Agents That Really Intrigue Me.

2010-04-25T12:34:00.000-05:00

Now this is another bit of homerism. The fact that Blair White went to the Colts is interesting and the fact that LaGarrette Blount will probably falcon punch his way past Anthony Dixon are interesting and all. But for the Packers? There are five guys who could really be interesting. Or at least make the roster.

1) Tim Knicky (DE/OLB Stephen F. Austin) Why? Because he was a very productive defensive end in college who showed at the Texas vs. The Nation game that he can play at Outside Linebacker. If he starts fast in camp? He can force his way in.

2) Noah Shepard (QB-South Dakota) Why? Because he has great physical gifts, not to mention the fact that he fits Bill Parcells four rules for drafting a quarterback prospect. 23 wins, 3 year starter, and a senior graduate. There's a lot to like about him.

3) Chris Campbell (OT-Eastern Illinois) Why? Because he's a pretty good right tackle mauler type. There may not be so much space at the inn. But Campbell could find his way in as a right tackle.

4) Frank Zombo (OLB-Central Michigan) Why? Because he's a bit of a Connor Barwin type. Soft hands and pass rush skills mean he could grow up to be another Spencer Havner.

5) Alex Joesph (ILB-Temple) Why? Because he's a special teamer. And as a PFA? He's a cheap special teamer.

Note: I would add Sam Shields (CB-Miami) to the list. Rumor has it that he signed with the Packers. And he's a tremendous athlete. Raw as a corner, but with return skills and three college years at wideout? He could find his way into being somebody.

The Green Bay Packers First Final Grade

2010-04-24T15:41:00.000-05:00

This seems like a draft where there will these grades will prove to be wildly inconsistent. The Packers have played the upside game with a multitude of their picks. So my final grade will most likely be wrong. But here we go. A preliminary draft grade.

1) Bryan Bulaga (OT-Iowa) A (A ready made heir for Chad Clifton. He'll be a starter before long.)
2) Mike Neal (DT-Purdue) B- (An interesting attempt to bolster the pass rush. He's got a lot of good when it's right. But short arms and getting dinged is worrisome.)
3) Morgan Burnett (SS-Georgia Tech) C (I don't like giving up a pick for him. I don't like that he can disappear and look really bad. But he can hit and he can ballhawk. I may be blaming him for costing the Packers a cornerback.)
5) Andrew Quarless (TE-Penn State) B- (In terms of need? It's an F. In terms of upside? It's an A. In terms of gut feeling about his pro future? B+).
5) Marshall Newhouse (G-TCU) D (Last year they drafted Jamon Meredith and I loved it. He didn't break camp with the Packers. This year? I'm not a fan. And lightning will strike just to spite me. :P)
6) James Starks (RB-Buffalo) A+ (I will tell you this again. If James Starks stays healthy, he will be the heir to the throne. And he's the 3rd down back this year. I love love love this pick.)
7) C.J. Wilson (DE-ECU) B+ (I like this pick. I like it a lot. He seems like the sort of guy who's going to see more time than Lane.)

Final Grade: B- (The picks they made were decent to pretty darn good. But if you're a team where you got torched through the air as they did at the end of the year? You can't stand pat at corner. The Packers did. Thus they lose points.)

The Green Bay Packers Select... C.J. Wilson (DE-ECU)

2010-04-24T15:23:00.000-05:00

It's a rule of thumb that you can never have too many pass rushers. And with C.J. Wilson, the Packers seem to have found themselves another bit of 5-technique pass rush skills. He's not going to beat someone off the corner. But his hand placement, leg drive, and general strength is plus skills. He's not going to miss a tackle that he gets to either.

Good value pick. I'm not guaranteeing greatness. But you may see him get more run this year than Mike Lane. He's the DE version of Matt Flynn, I guess.

The Green Bay Packers Select...James Starks (RB-Buffalo)

2010-04-24T13:48:00.000-05:00

There's a distinct possiblity that we have found the heir apparent if Starks can stay healthy. What we have here is a tough inside runner who was good enough to get 34+ receptions in the three years he was healthy. 52 grabs in his junior year. He can be a third down back straight away who can stun you on a draw. He was hyperproductive when healthy and hat two years of 250+ carries.

He's not a make you miss sort of a runner in the open field. But he's a try hard blocker in pass pro. But like I said before. The Packers have found the heir apparent if Starks can stay healthy.

The Green Bay Packers Select...Marshall Newhouse (OG-TCU)

2010-04-24T12:44:00.000-05:00

There's a theme that develops in all of Ted's drafts. Some are inexplicable. Some are straitlaced and common sense. This year? It's a draft that could run the table of awesome or be as bad as 2004. It's another pick of a guy with spectacular athletic gifts who needs work on his technique.

Again, while he's ignoring an obvious need, Marshall Newhouse's physical gifts are undeniable. He has good strength, and as a 326 pound man, he got clocked at 4.99 with his 40 yard dash. But, you remember last year when the Packers drafted Jamon Meredith? Newhouse is quite a bit more raw.

He's a guy who vibes practice squad for me. Just being honest. Won't hate it. If lightning strikes and all. But my gut says he's not going to be on the 53 Man roster come September.

The Green Bay Packers Select...Andrew Quarless (TE-Penn State)

2010-04-24T12:11:00.000-05:00

Now watching the run on corners made me wary. And you know about my twitter feed. I have a name that I wanted. I didn't get it. Never mind the aging corners, here comes TRAMMON!

That being said? For a position that we have absolutely no need for? Quarless has a real chance to be somebody. He has the same sort of melange of skill as Jermichael Finley. Decent wheels, good frame, and solid hands. He's also strong in the receiving game.

Blocking wise? He's improving. But he's an immature kid. He'll take a play off, and he had issues at Penn State. But he'll work on special teams. And that'll help right away.

And it's not as if the Packers need Quarless right away, right? Right. Give him some seasoning? And ooh wee. This could be fun.

Ten Intriguing Guys Who Are Still Available.

2010-04-24T10:22:00.000-05:00

For the Packers? It's been the waiting game. There is one seemingly glaring need. And one seemingly perfect guy for them. After which? Here's a list.

1. Akwasi Owusu-Ansah CB-Indiana (Pa.)
2. Johnathan Dwyer RB-Georgia Tech
3. Eric Norwood OLB-South Carolina
4. Dekoda Watson OLB-Florida State
5. Ricky Sapp OLB-Clemson
6. Dan LeFevour QB-Central Michigan
7. Shawnbrey McNeal RB-SMU
8. Perrish Cox CB-Oklahoma State
9. Dominique Franks CB-Oklahoma
10. Clay Harbor TE-Michigan State
11. Jonathan Crompton QB-Tennessee
12. LeGarrette Blount RB-Oregon

The Green Bay Packers select...(Morgan Burnett SS-Georgia Tech)

2010-04-23T22:22:00.000-05:00

In terms of need? It's a decent play. Burnett has a certain Darren Sharperish vibe to him. His ballhawk skills are strong and he can killshot a receiver going over the middle. But he does have the Darren Sharper tackling problem. And that means he does have a tendency to look real bad.

They lose a 4th round pick for this. And as such, they have to wait a long while for a cornerback. They need to hit a homer for this draft to work perfectly. Burnett gets a C because of price and the fact that he's like Mike Neal. A ton of upside, but a real reason to think he won't succeed.

The Green Bay Packers select...Mike Neal DT-Purdue

2010-04-23T21:54:00.000-05:00

In two words? Cautiously optimisitic. Mike Neal may have been a bit of a reach, but at least he's a reach with a lot of upside. His physical gifts are undeniable, and he does have a nice bit of pass rush skill to him as well. But the problem? He's undersized for a 3-4 DE. And he might not have the arm length to disengage blockers.

I don't exactly hate it. It's an inspired attempt at developing more pass rush. But I am worried that he will go the way of a Patrick Lee in that he won't be on the 2011 Packers.

The Green Bay Packers Select...Brian Bulaga (OT-Iowa)

2010-04-22T20:56:00.001-05:00

He's not Kyle Wilson. He's not Sergio Kindle. But in terms of filling a need? It's. He's a left tackle with great skills. He had a thyroid issue he was working through and it limited him early. But he's got solid mirror skills and a good run skill to his play. He's not going to have to start straight away if necessary. The tendency to get dinged up isn't great?

But you have to love the upside. And with T.J. Lang looming as well? The O-line doesn't seem like near as much as a problem. It's a surprising pick. But it's a happy surprise. I had him 9th, remember.

The Green Bay Packers have an interesting dilemma.

2010-04-22T20:43:00.001-05:00

Sergio Kindle, Bryan Bulaga, or Kyle Wilson? Two are a lock to be available. Who do you think the Pack should take?

UPDATE: All three of these guys are available. I fear I may be irrational toward anyone else.

The Green Bay Packers: The Final Thought Exercise.

2010-04-22T17:06:00.000-05:00

I'll be honest. I'm fine with whatever way the Packers go. In many aspects. I wouldn't want Taylor Mays or Jerry Hughes and Jahvid Best would be vaguely disappointed. So I'm going to do this as a final thought exercise. And I will actually have a page full of current posts.

1-23: The Green Bay Packers Select...Anthony Davis (OT-Rutgers)

If Anthony Davis falls to 23? I would be thrilled. If Charles Brown does? I'd rather they went best player available. Rodger Saffold wouldn't be ready right away. Bruce Campbell? Please. Mike Iupati? Sure, if you trust T.J. Lang that much.

If Kyle Wilson is avaliable? The Packers should take him. Maybe he will? But I mocked him at seven. So maybe not. Kareem Jackson would be fine. Devin McCourty would not.

Pass-rush? If Sergio Kindle or Brandon Graham fall to the Packers, I'd bless it. Jerry Hughes can't work through the trash. Jason Pierre-Paul? Nah.

Out of the box? Jahvid Best has a nerve problem. It wouldn't be right. But it would be okay.

I still vote they look to deal here.

My Top 4 Options?
1. Anthony Davis (OT-Rutgers)
2. Kyle Wilson (CB-Boise State)
3. Sergio Kindle (OLB-Texas)
4. Brandon Graham (OLB-Michigan)

2-56: The Green Bay Packers Select...Akwasi Owusu-Ansah (CB-Indiana (Pa.))

This is a spot where the Packers seem to sit pretty. In the second round? You have the sleeper tackle Jared Veldheer. I love Jared Veldheer. But he wouldn't work in this thought exercise.

There's solid second round value for the Packers if they wanted to go after a cornerback here. Brandon Ghee and Jerome Murphy may not fit. But? Dominique Franks and Akwasi Owusu-Ansah would be great fits.

Also if they just had to go after a pass rusher here? There's intrigue. A whole lot of great pass rushers with instinct issues. A.K.A. The Ricky Sapp.

Running back is cool as well. Jonathan Dwyer or a Montario Hardesty. I would enjoy that if the Packers grabbed either one. However? Ben Tate makes me scream the big no.

The rawness of Chad Jones makes me wary if he goes round 2. If he goes round 3? Perhaps.

Top 4 choices.
1. Jared Veldheer
2. Akwasi Owusu-Ansah
3. Jonathan Dwyer
4. Vladimir Ducasse

3-88: The Green Bay Packers select...Myron Lewis (FS-Vanderbilt)

After Round 2? There's less of a need to drop a top 4. If you remember my last one, I went blitzing 3-4 OLB. But Myron Lewis is agile enough to play corner back. But the thing of it is? He can also be the ultility secondary man if necessary. You can play the corner. You can play strong safety? Sure. Free safety? Right.

I'd love it if he went here.

4-122 The Green Bay Packers select...Roddrick Muckelroy (OLB-Texas)

They'll look to deal here as well. That is if Muckelroy isn't gone. He's a strong, instictive player, who plays fast in pads. He's the sort of guy who can cover most running backs and is a sure tackler and a pretty good blitzer. Brad Jones is pretty good. But I think Muckelroy can be better.

5-154: The Green Bay Packers select...James Starks (RB-Buffalo)

If the Packers are going to draft a running back. And it's likely they will? Starks is just different enough that he can be a fine back-up. Good power, soft hands, and decent athleticism. He may not be completely dissimilar from Ryan Grant. Then again? He may be as good.

5-169: The Green Bay Packers select...Blair White (WR Michigan State)

He's the sort of receiver who hates to drop the ball. I know. He'd be the 5th receiver as a Packer. But that would be fine. He's done it before. He willed himself to a #1 receiver. He's done it before. He can do it again.

6-193: The Green Bay Packers select...Nolan Carroll (CB-Maryland)

Raw? Yes. Injuries and a position switch leave him here. But here's a guy who's 6'1" and ran a 40 under 4.4. But he's a former receiver with great agility with only room to grow in terms of his skills. And? And. A willing special teamer. I say yes. He plays the Trevard Lindley role in this thought exercise.

7-230: The Green Bay Packers select...Andrew Tyshovnytsky (OT-Fordham)

I know some of you may think me trying to pull a fast one. That's a fake name! And I say, the protector of John Skelton is not! He is the sort of man who murdered his pro day. A 315 pounder rocking 33 reps on the bench and a 40 time under 5? Nice. He's also the sort of guy with experience. 28 starts in 4 years. I can't pronounce it. But I have to bless it.

Be back in about 90 minutes.

Okay. Let's Halfass a Mock Draft.

2010-04-22T12:13:00.000-05:00

1. STL Sam Bradford QB Oklahoma
2. DET Ndamukong Suh DT Nebraska
3. TB Gerald McCoy DT Oklahoma
4. WAS Trent Williams OT Oklahoma
5. KC Russell Okung OT Oklahoma State
6. SEA Eric Berry FS Tennessee
7. CLE Kyle Wilson CB Boise State
8. OAK Taylor Mays S USC
9. BUF Bryan Bulaga OT Iowa
10. JAC Derrick Morgan DE Georgia Tech
11. DEN Dez Bryant WR Oklahoma State
12. MIA Rolando McClain ILB Alabama
13. SF Earl Thomas S Texas
14. SEA C.J. Spiller RB Clemson
15. NYG Jason Pierre-Paul DE USF
16. TEN Segio Kindle DE Texas
17. SF Charles Brown OT USC
18. PIT Jimmy Clausen QB Notre Dame
19. ATL Joe Haden CB Florida
20. HOU Ryan Matthews RB Fresno State
21. CIN Jermaine Gresham TE Oklahoma
22. NE Jerry Hughes OLB TCU
23. GB Anthony Davis OT Rutgers
24. PHI Brandon Graham DE Michigan
25. BAL Jared Odrick DE Penn State
26. ARI Bryan Price DE UCLA
27. DAL Maurkice Pouncey C Florida
28. SD Dan Willaims NT Tennessee
29. NYJ Mike Iupati OG Idaho
30. MIN Devin McCourty CB Rutgers
31. IND Everson Griffen DE USC
32. NO Sean Witherspoon OLB Missouri

The Weekday Defensive Tackles.

2010-04-22T11:33:00.000-05:00

I'm going to make a bold statement or two here. Know that this is gutsball. It's a deep class in terms of value. And as such? Surprises are bound to happen. But I'm calling bust on a likely top five pick. Bam!

1. Ndamukong Suh Nebraska (If he's available by pick #3, somebody screwed up. The House of Spears is a beast.)
2. Gerald McCoy Oklahoma (An inconsistent motor and poor hand placement means he's got a real chance to be a busted pick.)
3. Dan Williams Tennessee (Kind of a Ron Brace. He's a one thrust and hold at the point of attack guy.)
4. Jared Odrick Penn State (An immeadiate contributor of a 3-4 DE.)
5. Brian Price UCLA (He could be everything McCoy claims to be. A deadly inside pass rusher with pretty good skills everywhere else.)
6. Terrence Cody Alabama (All he has to do is hold at the point of attack to be effective. Anything else? Gravy.)
7. Lamarr Houston Texas (Late bloomer, but he can be a real beast at the point of attack.)
8. Linval Joesph ECU (Daniel Jeremiah's sleeper 1st round pick. Eye-popping athleticism with less power than expected.)
9. Torrell Troup UCF (A bit of a sleeper. Big and strong with a real motor. The anchor of a top run defense with two 10 sack defensive ends.)
10. Cam Thomas North Carolina (The big guy without the strongest motor. But he can hold up at the POA.)
11. Al Woods LSU (A beast with the bull rush. The instincts are not so much.)
12. Corey Peters Kentucky (A big athletic Defensive Tackle who was a 4 year starter in the SEC? Valuable. But he's probably a 4th rounder.)

The Weekday Outside Linebackers

2010-04-22T10:43:00.000-05:00

Another deep position. A lot of good depth here. Some guys are 3-4 specialists. In fact? You can get something great if you're in a 3-4 and you need help on defense. And you don't even need to overpay for a Kindle.

Toys humor! Yay!

1. Brandon Graham Michigan (High motor, great instincts, a practically perfect 3-4 OLB.)
2. Sergio Kindle Texas (A game-changer in the 3-4. He's simply explosive.)
3. Sean Witherspoon Missouri (Undersized? Yeah. But everything else is great. He's an instant linebacker starter.)
4. Jerry Hughes TCU (He's a great athlete with good football skills. The problem? He gets picked up too often. A big issue.)
5. Koa Misi Utah (More of a defensive end. Kind of like Paul Kreuger. Stiff in coverage, but he can rush the passer.)
6. Jason Worlids Virginia Tech (He lacks a little something in instincts, but he hits hard and runs fast. One of those tailor made 3-4 Outside Linebackers.)
7. Thaddeus Gibson Ohio State (More of a run stuffer than a pass rusher, but he's a strong 3-4 OLB. He does need a little more in terms of instincts.)
8. Eric Norwood South Carolina (The SEC's answer to Ricky Sapp.)
9. Ricky Sapp Clemson (His value is almost solely as a pass rusher. Other than that? Never mind.)
10. Navorro Bowman Penn State (Stiff in coverage, but with his instincts and other skills, he's a strong 4-3 Will or 3-4 ILB.)
11. Dekoda Watson Florida State (Kind of like everyone else who grades in the 2nd-3rd Round. His athleticism is greater than his instincts.).
12. O' Brien Schofield Wisconsin (Even after he tore his ACL at the Senior Bowl, his upside remains dtrong enough that a 3rd round pick wouldn't be too much of a reach.)

The Weekday Tackles

2010-04-22T09:32:00.000-05:00

Allow me to get my homer hat on. I'm glad this class is deep. It will help my local professional football team grow. As such? I will make a draft nerd post of my last Packers thought exercise. How deep is left tackle?

1. Russell Okung Oklahoma State (A ready made pass protector, but he's an imperfect run blocker. Still a Top 5 pick.)
2. Trent Williams Oklahoma (The combine seemed to answer questions about his quickness at LT. And as such? He could be a Top 8 Pick.)
3. Bryan Bulaga Iowa (He's got some durability issues, but otherwise? He's got real skills. He could be an instant starter.)
4. Anthony Davis Rutgers (The motor is inconsistent. But he's improved every year in college. And he's still just 20. If he's falling, some team has a sleeper.)
5. Charles Brown USC (He's rising because of his frame and athleticism. But he does not have great power. That being said? He's sans power. And that's...not good.)
6. Rodger Saffold Indiana (Needs a year of seasoning, but there's a lot to like about him.)
7. Bruce Campbell Maryland (As spectacular of an athlete as he is, his technique is like steak tartar.)
8. Jared Veldheer Hillsdale (MI) (A lot to like here. He's an unspectacular run blocker. But he's a natural athlete and pass blocker.)
9. John Jerry Ole Miss (Great bloodines. Great power. Probably has to move inside to guard.)
10. Ed Wang Virginia Tech (He's rising because his one weakness is in his footwork. But that's still why I don't trust him.)
11. Selvish Capers West Virginia (Great upside, but he's very much a project for the team that will draft him.)

The Weekday DE.

2010-04-22T08:34:00.000-05:00

The thing about defensive end is the reemergence of the 3-4 as a viable form of defense. Some guys I list here will be an Outside Linebacker. Some guys at OLB may end up as a 4-3 DE. But this is a deep and strong class. You need pass rush? You could hit it big here.

1. Derrick Morgan Georgia Tech (A powerful threat as a 4-3 DE who may be a Franchise 3-4 OLB.)
2. Jason Pierre-Paul So. Florida (He's got spectacular physical skills and a great motor. But that being said? He may play too fast. Athleticism without control leads to a draft bust status. Is he going to be another JUCO Bust? Maybe.)
3. Everson Griffen USC (He's got great physical skills, but no motor.)
4. Carlos Dunlap Florida (The East Coast Everson Griffen)
5. Tyson Alualu California (A strong and physically gifted 3-4 DE with a waxing and waning motor.)
6. Alex Carrington Arkansas State (The mid-major Carlos Dunlap.)
7. Corey Wooton Northwestern (A strong, physical 3-4 DE with a more consistent motor than Tyson Alualu.)
8. Austen Lane Murray State (Killed it in the FBS for a bad Murray State team. He's got room to grow into a 3-4 Defensive End.)
9. Brandon Lang Troy (He may not have the power to be a truly great 4-3 DE, but in a 3-4 system? He's a second round sleeper. He loves to attack the ball carrier.)
10. Greg Hardy Ole Miss (If he wasn't Mr. Glass? He would be the #1 Defensive end off the board. And I love Morgan.)
11. Jermane Cunningham Florida (A bit of a tweener in aspects beyond the pass rush, but in terms of pure pass rush? He's got a good motor.)

The Weekday Safeties.

2010-04-21T21:22:00.000-05:00

Let me tell you this. There are two great Free Safeties that you'll see in the first round. One might try to be converted to be a corner. It would be a mistake. Let's see if you can figure it out, eh?

1. Eric Berry Tennessee (Believe the hype. His center field skills are spectacular.)
2. Taylor Mays USC (He'd be the greatest SS in a 3-3-5 defense. A physical killer. But there's no instincts.)
3. Earl Thomas Texas (As a Free safety? He could turn into a third corner.)
4. Nate Allen So. Florida (A strong ballhawk, but his aggression gets him burnt in space with the tackling and whatnot.)
5. Morgan Burnett Georgia Tech (A lot to like with his physical skills. Poor guy has a tendency to disappear however.)
6. Kendrick Lewis Ole Miss (He reminds me a lot of Atari Bigby and I mean it as a complement.)
7. Reshad Jones Georgia (A typical Bulldog hitter who can get posted and toasted.)
8. Major Wright Florida (The bizarro Taylor Mays. Great instincts. A physical killer. Poor athleticism.)

Weekday Selections: Cornerback.

2010-04-21T21:13:00.000-05:00

A deep class? You bet your ass. Value for every style of defense? Absofuckinglutely. My sort of halfassery? Yeah!

1. Joe Haden Florida (Never mind the poor 40 time. He plays that fast in pads.)
2. Kyle Wilson Boise State (He has unpolished skills, but he can simply just shut people down when he's right.)
3. Devin McCourty Rutgers (A poor man-to man corner, but he's a ballhawk stud in a Cover 2 system.)
4. Patrick Robinson Florida State (He's got some spectacular skills, but he can get lazy.)
5. Kareem Jackson Alabama (A tough man to man corner with great athleticism as well as good instincts.)
6. Chris Cook Virginia (Great size-speed ratio, good ball skills, but he seems to be more of a free safety.)
7. Brandon Ghee Wake Forest (An agressive corner with poor ball skills.)
8. Jerome Murphy So. Florida (Got to love that he plays with a chip on his shoulder. But he does have a tendency to get burnt by his agression.)
9. Dominique Franks Oklahoma (Great physicality. Good ball skills. But he's got some discipline problems.)
10. Akwasi Owasu-Ansah Indiana (Pa.) (A 6'1" guy with 4.32 speed, good ball skills and great return skills. You can punch anyone who asks who? in the face if your team drafts him.)
11. Amari Spievey Iowa (A Cover 2 Corner, a solid nickelback. But is he a starter?)
12. Perrish Cox Oklahoma State (His return skills and good college production still seem to keep him in Day 2 despite his postseason interview fail.)
13. Javier Arenas Alabama (Undersized. A step slow. But his instincts and return skills add a real value to his game. And who are you to doubt an Arenas?)

Interior Line on the Weekdays.

2010-04-21T13:15:00.000-05:00

Guards and Centers are boring, but I'm going to do it. So yeah. Eat it hypothetical reader. The interior line? Will have two real prospects going in round one. One in round two to three. And two are reaches. We'll discuss this further.

Centers
1. Maurkice Pouncey Florida (If healthy? 10 year starter and a Pro Bowl mastermind.)
2. Matt Tennant Boston College (He's a zone blocker with a good mean streak.)

Guards
1. Mike Iupati Idaho (If he refines his technique? He's the Guard Maurkice Pouncey.)
2. Jon Asomah Illinois (Great value. He's a second round instant starter for a guard. Plug and play.)
3. Vladimir Ducasse UMass (Physically gifted, but his technique is raw. Give him a year of seasoining.)

Tight Ends to be taken on the weekdays...

2010-04-21T12:50:00.000-05:00

The Tight End this year? While there are some safeish picks? This position feels more like a Boom-Bust scenario. Upside plays and injury risks dot the Top 10.

1. Jermaine Gresham Oklahoma (An explosive Aaron Hernandez, if his knee is right.)
2. Rob Gronskowski Arizona (He could legitimately be a Top 5 tight end in the league if his back's right. But it isn't.)
3. Aaron Hernandez Florida (A great pass-catcher, marginal blocker, poor explosiveness.)
4. Ed Dickson Oregon (Vertical threat with pretty good hands, good strength. Could improve blocking.)
5. Jimmy Graham Miami (FL) (As upside goes? Massive. He's not gonna be another Rickey Dudley. But will he be another Antonio Gates? Nah.)
6. Anthony McCoy USC (Not just another blocking tight end. He does have hands. However? No explosiveness.)
7. Dennis Pitta BYU (Catchers everything. Gets open. Cannot block to save a life.)

Inside Linebackers Day 1; 2: 140 Character Essence.

2010-04-19T12:40:00.000-05:00

The middle linebacker is kind of a dying art. Granted, a 3-4 linebacker does have several aspects of the MIKE. But last year only two MLB's were drafted in the first day. This year? There's probably not going to be more than four. If Donald Butler goes Day 2? Spikes goes into Saturday undrafted.

1. Rolando McClain Alabama (A practically perfect two-down linebacker...who could grow up to be A.J. Hawk.)
2. Sean Lee Penn State (Kind of like Posluzny. Injury prone but spectacular when he gets on the field.)
3. Daryl Washington TCU (Probably more of a next level Weakside LB, but he could sneak into the end of round one with his skills Nick Barnett style.)
4. Brandon Spikes Florida (A poor Senior season and pro day make him a third round steal.)

A Twitter-Sized Breakdown: Day 1 and Day 2 at WR

2010-04-19T11:31:00.000-05:00

If you look at the Wide Receiver position? You're going to see a run on these players on Friday. Obviously, Dez Bryant is going to be the first one off the board. And Demaryius Thomas has the physical gifts to drop between 21 and 32. But there will be at least seven guys selected in rounds 2 and 3. And most of that is Round 3 choices as well. I put the over under at 6.5 wideouts taken round three. Boom

So, in 140 characters? The top 12 WR's.

1. Dez Bryant Oklahoma State (Physically gifted. Great hands. But he's not nearly mature enough. Denver's an obvious choice.)
2. Demaryius Thomas Georgia Tech (Toolsy. Tremendous upside. Great hands. Great after the catch. If he learns the route tree?)
3. Golden Tate Notre Dame (Hyperproductive in a pro-style offense. A bit of Percy Harvin in him.)
4. Arrelious Benn Illinois (Could be a real steal. Kind of like Vontae Davis in that he has Zooker taint on him. But his skills are undeniable.)
5. Damian Williams USC (Good route runner, reliable hands, but who gives a fuck? He's a USC WR. Cursed!)
6. Mardy Gilyard Cincinnati (Quicks. Great hands. Ready made slot WR. He's kind of like a Hines Ward.)
7. Eric Decker Minnesota (Smart. Polished. One of the highest floors in terms of prospectdom. Great hands. Sleeperish.)
8. Carlton Mitchell USF (The antethesis of Decker. His strength is in his triangle numbers. Inconsistent hands and minimal numbers.)
9. Brandon LaFell LSU (Inconsitent hands and poor quarterback play doomed the preseason #1 WR. Reminds me of Kenny Britt.)
10. Taylor Price Ohio (Bit of a finesse guy. But he's got a lot of skills. You get him on your team round three? Thrilled.)
11. Andre Roberts The Citadel (Reminds me of Hines Ward. Gets open and off the line. Elusive at returns. Willing blocker.)
12. Jacoby Ford Clemson (His strength? Speed. Pure badass American Speed.)

The First Three Rounds at Running Back?

2010-04-08T04:51:00.000-05:00

There's a lot to be interested in here. Someone of this group is going to be a gamechanger. And someone of this group is going to be the focus of all fantasy owners who want to start a white guy at running back. See if you can tell who's who.

1. C.J. Spiller Clemson (I like C.J. Spiller. His worst case scenario is as a Jamaal Charles. But he does have a real chance to be a Chris Johnsonesque game changer, especially when you consider the fact that he was at his best all the while suffering from turf toe.)
2. Ryan Matthews Fresno State (Hyperproductive. He has a nose for the goal line, and he wasn't completely an issue of level either. He had good games against two Big Ten and a Big East team as well as his legendary 19-234-3 line vs. Boise State. He's a slasher with the worst case scenario is Ryan Grant. Nothing wrong with growing up to be Ryan Grant.)
3. Jahvid Best Cal (Here's the thing. Chris Johnson needed the bowl game his senior year to have a year with 200 carries. Now? He's the greatest running back ever of the moment. Jahvid Best is similar, maybe with a little less patience inside, but someone's going to draft him in the first round, and they'll be thrilled. He runs like a Dragonforce guitar solo.)
4. Jonathan Dwyer Georgia Tech (I see him as a Shonn Greene with softer hands. He has great power and deceptive speed. He's kind of failed the draft interview process. But he's got the sort of skills where he can be more than just a short-yardage runner.)
5. Toby Gerhart Stanford (I'm going to blow the mind of the draftnik community. Here's my comparison for Gerhart. Shonn Greene. Great power. Okay speed. No hands. There you go.)
6. Ben Tate Auburn (I don't trust him. He's a stiff, upright runner, who plays below his timed speed. He was strong last season under the Malzahm system. But that's not the sort of offense he's going to see in the pros, is it? He does have value, but I'd wait until Round 4-Round 5.)
7. Montario Hardesty Tennessee (If he's healthy, he can be quite spectacular. The problem, of course is that he has never been truly healthy. He runs like an upright Clinton Portis. And while a new generation Kid Bro Sweets is worth your time, will he be another Chris Brown?)
8. Dexter McCluster Ole Miss (This is the sort of player that a smart team can make into a David Palmerish weapon. Wildcat QB, Sweeps, Screens, Returns. Give him 15 touches a game and he will make at least one game turning play. If you just have him returning kicks? You're wasting time.)
9. Joe McKnight USC (If I was a GM, I would draft him for the express purpose of making him a Wide Receiver, because he reminds me of an undersized Darren McFadden. The obvious comparison is Reggie Bush and I can see it. Make him a Percy Harvin and it's first round skill in terms of third round value.)

If I was Drafting for the Packers?

2010-04-06T23:38:00.000-05:00

I'm want to do this sort of thing as a thought exercise. If I had control of the Packers, what would I do? And it's only for my home team. So yeah. Here's how it would go.

1-23: The Green Bay Packers Select...Kareem Jackson (CB-Alabama)

I would bet my non-existent farm that unless a Kyle Wilson or a Anthony Davis are available at 23? Ted's likely dealing down. Last year was supposed to be a poor year for picks, thus the rare trade-up. As for me? I don't trust Charles Davis. Ryan Matthews isn't that sort of dynastic change of pace from Ryan Grant either.

So that leaves the secondary. Plenty of mocks have the Packers going with Devin McCourty out of Rutgers. But it's not something I'd agree with. McCourty is a corner built for a zone system. The Packers love to play man to man in the secondary. And with Kareem Jackson, you had a guy who was consistently challenged in the biggest conference in the NCAA and was shown to be a success.

2-56: The Green Bay Packers Select...Jared Veldheer (LT-Hillsdale)

Here's where things get interesting. At the end of the second round you have to start considering names like Dexter McCluster, Montario Hardesty, Ben Tate, and Jonathan Dwyer as well as the other seemingly glaring need in terms of a Vladimir Ducasse and a you can never have to many pass rushers scenario in Ricky Sapp. And did you mention that Atari Bigby is sort of injury prone? Plenty of directions to go here.

McCluster would be the sort of electric weapon that the Packers don't have in the backfield with Ryan Grant. Give him ten touches a game and that could well be enough to change the complexion of a game. But can he get to 185 pounds without losing a step? Because your average waterbug is about 10-15 pounds heavier than McCluster, and even then it nearly takes an executive order to get them 15 touches in a year.

I'm going on the assumption that Hardesty is gone, because he's been rising up since this process began. And if he was there at 56? He would be the sort of guy who would be spectacular as a fit in Green Bay. He's a slasher extraordinaire. And that's cool.

I would eliminate Ben Tate because he reminds me of Chris Brown and already has over six hundred carries in his system. And as for Jonathan Dwyer? I don't know why he's falling. But...

As for the obvious tackle scenario? At 56 small school sleeper time. Out of UMass? Vladimir Ducasse. Fun name, but he's a guard. The Packers aren't in need of that so much. But the thing about Jared Veldheer is that he's got a lot of sleeper in him. Physically stunning. He dominated division two. And he's not a waist bender either. He's just tall.

3-88: The Green Bay Packers select...Dekoda Watson (OLB-Florida State)

You can never have too much pass rush, and especially when you're on a team that lost a weapon like Aaron Kampman. And whiole Dekoda is somewhat raw as to the disengagement of a run defense, he can become a major contributor for what the Packers need right away.

4-122 The Green Bay Packers select...Kyle Calloway (OT-Iowa)

This is the sort of guy who's a tailor made right tackle. You can have him help inside or he can move Tauscher inside. He's an angry and mean man who gained a great amount of knowledge in the Packers Zone Blocking System. He's kind of like T.J. Lang, he won't start right away, but he'll see the field by the end of the year.

5-154: The Green Bay Packers select...Trevard Lindley (CB-Kentucky)

He's the sort of guy who was hovering on the end of the 1st round as the season started. An ankle injury and an atrocious Senior Bowl turn his stock into...this. But he's still a ballhawk. And he's still the guy who can diagnose most wide receiver routes. And he'll have a big opportunity here.

5-169: The Green Bay Packers select...Joique Bell (RB-Wayne State)

Yeah, his 40-time was crap. And yeah, he may be a D-2 stud like Xavier Omon. But here's the thing. He's got great hands, a willingness to passblock, and short yardage Dark Vengance! He'll be a nice third down back to start with and there's a shot at something more. He's got the lateral quickness of a mastermind. One cut and go!

6-193: The Green Bay Packers select...Darian Stewart (SS-South Carolina)

Atari Bigby is breaking down. South Carolina prospects always seem to be drafted two to three rounds before their upside. And Darian Stewart is the sort of safety who's at his best...in the box. Yeah. What up?

7-230: The Green Bay Packers select...Freddie Barnes (WR-Bowling Green)

Because he reminds me of James Jones. Yeah. What up?

Alice Eve

2010-04-01T19:31:00.001-05:00

Real easy on eyes.
Classically trained. A problem?
Nobody likes Baruchel.

A Megan Fox Haiku

2010-03-31T23:23:00.001-05:00

Her thumbs are like toes.
When she talks? It kills my soul.
Ridiculous Hot.

My advice to Simon (on Sports)

2010-03-23T15:09:00.000-05:00

In Regards to Manny Parra? I have to tell you that he has moved back into the general direction of the lefty pitcher with upside. If you look at his BAbip from last year, there is reason to believe that he will be better this year. And he has been better at limiting his baserunners in the small sample size. His WHIP is 1.25 for the spring. He's currently locked in a matcuhp with Dave Bush for the 4th starter.

Right now? Bush has shown the better stats. And I think if the Brewers aren't going to do anything with Suppan? The place where he can do the least damage is as the 5th starter. So the loser goes into the Seth McClung long relief role. In short. Hold. But be ready to drop him at the first sign of a sexy waiver pickup if he doesn't start hot.

Can I do 200 words on a spare parts trade?

2010-03-23T14:43:00.000-05:00

Because someone has to discuss this Ray Olmedo and Matt Treanor trade. And that someone will be me.

Ironically, this does have some sort of value for the Brewers. Treanor was going to have to walk away. They had no room for him in Triple-A and George "the Animal" Kottaras looked like he was going to be the stop gap as the back-up catcher. There was no room at the inn for him.

But that being said? The Brewers signed a player to a minor league deal in Luis Cruz who mangled his leg during winter ball. He was the good defense triple A middle infielder glove who we would break the glass to grab in case of emergency. But yeah. That didn't work. So, enter Rainer Olmedo.

To expect anything of any offensive value from Olmedo is naive. His age 27 and age 28 years had Triple A OPS hovering around Jason Kendall territory. His defense is pretty good as a middle infield glove. But you know what? It's okay. It's a warm body that if it all breaks right? He's in Nashville.

An inconsequential trade. But they got something for someone who was going to force an issue for the Brewers and walk away on Thursday. And that's cool. I guess.

Dollar tree middle infielder for the win.

Re-Trying The Sweet 16

2010-03-23T14:09:00.000-05:00

So, you know how I kind of gave up in the South Bracket on my projections? No? Well I did. It's because I knew I was going to be in trouble. I had seven of my original teams hitting the Sweet 16 in my Yahoo Bracket. Ironically? 6 of them were going to the Elite 8. And 3 for the Final Four. An atypical bracket for me.

So...More content!

SWEET 16

Midwest Regional

9 Northern Iowa vs. 5 Michigan State

This goes against every instinct. Izzo is a tremendous coach. Cinderellas always fall in the Sweet 16. They'll rally around their fallen hero. But that being said. Northern Iowa is steady. They do not make mistakes. Korie Lucious? He has not been consistent and steady. And if they get to a lead? Michigan State cannot shoot themselves back in. I will live and die with Starokhmanesh.

6 Tennessee vs. 2 Ohio State

The only teams Ohio State has lost to since the return of the Villain were against West Virginia in Morgantown and Purdue at Mackey with Hummel. If this Volunteer team could hit better from three and rebound? I would be less confident in this. But Buckeyes. Lock it down.

West Regional

1 Syracuse vs. 5 Butler

Butler's had a nice run. I'll agree. But that being said? I still like Syracuse. Not to say that Butler can't keep it to a point where Gus Johnson would not go apoplectic at certain points of the game. But Wes Johnson will do enough to win.

6 Xavier vs. 2 Kansas State

The run continues for Frank Martin. If they could shut down Jimmer, they can shut down Jordan Crawford. K-State is the stronger team inside and the Pullen-Clemente-Kelly have a nice inside-outside thing going. Three in a row for K-State.

East Regional

1 Kentucky vs. 12 Cornell

There's enough aspects to keep this game interesting. Kentucky doesn't have strong perimeter defense like Temple. Syracuse is very close to Ithaca. A close game will definitely shake Kentucky. 48 states want Cornell to win. But Kentucky is currently infused with destrucity. I have Kentucky going very far in my Yahoo bracket, and I think they win here. But I'm not surprised if I'm wrong. HEDGES!

11 Washington vs. 2 West Virginia

I don't trust Bob Huggins, as you probably can tell. The Huskies rebound very well. In fact, they defend about as well as West Virginia. And not in a turnover generating sort of way. They play fast. They play hard. And they will find a way to win. They usually shoot just a little better. I will trust the Huskies to do.

South Reigon

1 Duke vs. 4 Purdue

In order for Duke to lose? They need a guard to go off and have a good offensive game. And while I respect Purdue for playing to their seed without their superstar? I don't think E'Twaun Moore or whatever he spells it. Duke has one more win in them.

3 Baylor vs. 10 St. Mary's (CA)

Don't expect this to be a blowout either. Samhan isn't going to be nearly as dominant as he was in the first two games (or they're going to let him go and try to stop the three). But that being said? Baylor's not great at defending a good three point shooting team. And a team like Sam Houston State has shown? They can keep it close. But I like Baylor. Tweety son. Tweety.

ELITE 8

9 Northern Iowa vs. 2 Ohio State

And here's where the dream dies and the run ends. Evan Turner's just simply better than anyone Northern Iowa has ever seen. Okay, seriously? Buford-Lighty-Diebler are spectacular from beyond the arc. Lauderdale is a strong garbage time player. And they won't panic. Not by a long shot.

1 Syracuse vs. 2 Kansas State

Gus Johnson is doing this game. It will be tremendous. And Syracuse was supposed to win this game anyway when I went all bracketological the first time anyway. End to end awesome. Whoo!

1 Kentucky vs. 11 Washington

The end result of this game is simple and sane. Kentucky can attack the basket with style and aplomb. And as such? The Huskies cinderellaish run ends here. As a mere footnote.

1 Duke vs. 3 Baylor

Baylor has the offensive backcourt talent that a team needs if they're going to go out and beat Duke. Add to that the will of America wanting them to get to the final four on the scalp of falling Duke? Baylor moves onward and upward.

Final Four

2 Ohio State vs. 1 Syracuse

This will be another tough classic. I believe the duel between Wes Johnson and Evan Turner will be spectacular. I feel less confident about this result than previously. But the Orange go to the finals. There I said it.

1 Kentucky vs. 3 Baylor

I know Kentucky could lose at any point. But I'm at least going to be man enough not to go away from my Yahoo bracket. Kentucky wins.

Championship: Syracuse 88, Kentucky 83.

Let's take you back.

2010-03-20T21:07:00.000-05:00

Back to March 2003. A more confusing time. There was that whole Iraq thing. And anyone who said anything bad about that was a terrorist. So yeah. Confusing times.

So one would dive headlong into the basketball. After all, my high school had made the state tournament. Both Wisconsin and Marquette were looking frisky. And they were in the same bracket!

And hey, the Badgers held off their scrappy undersized opponent in the first round. And wonder of wonders, they got to avoid the Atlantic 10 Champions in favor of a Mid-Major who buzzbombed them. It's supposed to be an easy win right?

Nope.

13th seeded Tulsa played 36 minutes of destructive basketball, it got to the point where they pulled away from the game in Wisconsin. But the 5th seeded Badgers got off the deck and came back to win. The reward? The universally regarded #1 team alive in the tournament. Your Kentucky Wildcats. The Badgers were game, but Kentucky's talent level showed up when it counted.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's kind of a bizarro scenario for 20-0-10. The underseeded mid-major? 12th seeded Cornell who buzzbombed the A-10 Champ (Temple). The Badgers had a little (lot) more trouble with Wofford, but that's another W-Team they held off. And the winner? The winner is going to get Kentucky. The best team still alive (seeding wise).

And unlike Tulsa? Many Badger fans are scared of Cornell.

Then again? Bo Ryan is playing a metagame. Survive, advance, and shock the fuck out of Kentucky.

Yeah, that's the ticket.

The South Bracket

2010-03-17T13:52:00.000-05:00

After my last bracket I was all WTF, how did Missouri get to the Elite 8? But this one is the Siena bracket, and you're asking me what I'm thinking. Can I book Siena into the Elite 8. Sure. But will I in blog form?

1 Duke vs. 16 Arkansas Pine-Bluff

Arkansas Pine-Bluff will make it a game between 25 and 30 minutes, but they don't have enough to win the game. No matter how much you might want it.

8 California vs. 9 Louisville

There are two things that Louisville doesn't work well with. Experienced guards and or sharpshooters. Cal has 4 senior starters. And they fill it up. Louisville's defense isn't good enough to overcome that.

5 Texas A&M vs. 12 Utah State

I wasn't exactly planning on having two five seeds going down. Especially when you consider the fact that Texas A&M doesn't lose in the first round. But Texas A&M gets beat by two types of teams. An A+ defense or a sharpshooting team. Utah State will make some moves on the glass, but you know what? They make their money from beyond the arc. An average game and the Utah Aggies advance.

4 Purdue vs. 13 Siena

Purdue without Hummel is a team that has lost its soul. Anytime you lose a great defensive rebounder, shotblocker, and your leading three point threat from a team that really doesn't have two? You're in trouble. Siena matches up pretty evenly. But they've done this before. And they've done it as a 13 seed. Veteran talent whos played big on the big stage? Gotta go with it again.

6 Notre Dame vs. 11 Old Dominion

Old Dominion has had offensive problems. But you know what? They are stronger off the glass than Notre Dame. And they force bad shots. The win against Georgetown, a Notre Dame for the super rich counts for a lot here. Am I really going three upsets in a row? Yes I am.

3 Baylor vs. 14 Sam Houston State

I usually can see an upset if you find a weakness in a matchup. Perimeter shooting versus poor perimeter defense? A team that keeps getting its shotblocked versus a Jarvis Vanardo? Yeah. That sort of thing equals upset. Here? Baylor is the platinum Sam Houston State.

7 Richmond vs. 10 St. Mary's (CA)

A bit of a coin flip. Richmond is the sort of a team with a veteran back court and a spectacular defense. The St. Marians are a team of sharpshooters with tight perimeter defense and Omar Samhan down low. I can really see St. Marys win this game. But my gut said Richmond. I've got to trust it.

2 Villanova vs. 15 Robert Morris

Please. 5 Big East Players can just beat one guy.

ROUND 2

1 Duke vs. 8 California

You either need low-post power or some sharpshooting guards for a team to be able to beat down the Blue Devils. Cal has the guards to be able to win. But they need a great day to do it. I can't see it.

12 Utah State vs. 13 Siena

Hmm. The better rebounding team is probably going to take this one. Not that Utah State isn't going to shoot themselves out of the tournament. It's just that Siena is the better rebounding team. TO THE SWEET 16 CRAYONS! KAKOW!

11 Old Dominion vs. 3 Baylor

The team that's going to beat Baylor is a team that will be able to take advantage of its weaknesses. Old Dominion will keep it close, but they will not beat the Bears.

7 Richmond vs. 2 Villanova

This will be a close game. A classic. But the fact is that Richmond is terrible against on the glass. Villanova will shoot well enough to advance to the Sweet 16.

Sweet 16

1 Duke vs. 13 Siena

Siena, because fuck you. That's why.

2 Villanova vs. 3 Baylor

Baylor wins in Houston. They advance to the final four and lose to Wisconsin. Syracuse beats Ohio State. And wins it all. LOL WHAT?

The East Bracket.

2010-03-17T00:30:00.000-05:00

The question of the East Bracket is will I let my blatant homerism take control. Wisconsin AND Marquette live in this bracket. And I happen to like my home state sports teams. I remember Jerel McNeal and I care. And whatnot.

1 Kentucky vs. 16 East Tennessee State

Please. John Wall is God. And the fighting Mister Jennings may not be going out like that, but they are going out.

8 Texas vs. 9 Wake Forest

Texas is a sublimely talented team. They could come together and make a run to the sweet 16. But for two reasons, it's the Demon Deacons. They're a strong defensive team that forces a team into bad shots, and Texas has had severe offensive issues in recent weeks. Also? Never trust Rick Barnes.

5 Temple vs. 12 Cornell

If you wanted me to give Cornell my 5-12 blessing, they should have had a team that can't stop the perimeter jumper. Temple locks down the defense on the perimeter. Cornell's main strength is crazy go nuts from beyond the arc. Temple will force them off their game.

4 Wisconsin vs. 13 Wofford

An undersized team that runs mostly man to man? An officially healthy Jon Leuer? Their last game being a terrible game for Trevon Hughes? I vote yes to the Badgers advancement.

6 Marquette vs. 11 Washington

I'm going Marquette. Washington has a tendency to play down to the level of their opponents. USC was a terrible team, and they beat Washington twice. UCLA got one with no defensive presence. Texas Tech and Oregon as well. And nobody was as good from beyond the arc as the Golden Eagles.

3 New Mexico vs. 14 Montana

Montana may be able to keep it interesting for a little while, but you know what? No. Montana's perimeter D is bad. And New Mexico rocks it from treyland, and while they do not defend at an A level? Their B- defense is good enough here. Lobos to round two.

7 Clemson vs. 10 Missouri

Missouri. They can generate Turnovers and take care of the ball. Clemson cannot. LOCK CITY.

2 West Virginia vs. 15 Morgan State

West Virginia. I don't trust them to get much further, but Todd Bozeman isn't gonna do shit.

ROUND 2

1 Kentucky vs. 9 Wake Forest

A poor shooting team that just doesn't generate many turnovers? Yes please, says Kentucky.

4 Wisconsin vs. 5 Temple

First to 50 wins? Yeah. It'll be like that. These teams have some real similarites. Hit up KenPom. You'll see something interesting. But I trust the Badgers to generate more good looks here. Also? Their tall guy has power in their offense.

3 New Mexico vs. 6 Marquette

This is the sort of thing where the winner of the 6-11 game is going to advance through to the Sweet 16. New Mexico just doesn't force bad shots with near enough the alacrity to stop the winner of this game. And as for Marquette? Most teams score on the Lobos from beyond the arc from three. And the Golden Eagles are 7th in 3 point field goal percentage.

2 West Virginia vs. 10 Missouri

Missouri's going to shock some people. Not me though. Bob Huggins will fall early again. Missouri's a pressure team and Joe Mazzula is made of suck and Truck Bryant's got one arm. Missouri to the Sweet 16 is a Book it upset pick.

SWEET 16

1 Kentucky vs. 4 Wisconsin

You know what? I'm going to let my homerism soar. Why? Because they've beaten three teams when they were in the Top 5. And they have two guards who have the ability to take over a game Devan Downey style. They're more experienced, and when the pace slows down, Kentucky has trouble. Hit the upset one time Bo Ryan!

6 Marquette vs. 10 Missouri

I honestly don't know how this will happen. And if this does? Honestly. Marquette has a rotation of six going up against a 40 Minutes of Hell scenario. But they cradle the ball like an infant child. Maurice Acker is a steady force. And Missouri can't take advantage of Marquette's size. Marquette had bad luck when their paths crossed last year. IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN.*

REGIONAL FINAL

4 Wisconsin vs. 10 Missouri

The Badgers pride themselves on taking care of the ball. And they will not fear trying to go for the extra pass. I know it should prbably be New Mexico or West Virginia here. But screw it. No school. Wisco.

*Note: This Bracket Match-up will not happen. Come on.

The West Bracket.

2010-03-16T14:09:00.000-05:00

It has a chance for intrigue. The craziest things you can talk yourself into? From this bracket. Vermont becoming the first 16 seed to take down a #1? Yep. UTEP to the Sweet 16? Yep. BYU to the Final Four. Even that. But my bracket commentary? Here we go.

1 Syracuse vs. 16 Vermont

Here's the thing about Vermont. Their strength is in Marquis Blakely. They don't have the T.J. Sorrentine to rock the three point shot. Syracuse advances.

8 Gonzaga vs. 9 Florida State

Teams that bang on the low post have given Gonzaga some real trouble this year. Not to say that Florida State is a guaranteed lock to win this game. But Gonzaga's weaknesses mesh a lot better with the Noles strengths than the other way around.

5 Butler vs. 12 UTEP

I may not be the first to suggest this as a 12-5 Upset, but I will at least give you a reason as to why. The teams that have beaten Butler are teams that shoot well and have an inside presence. Derrick Caracter provides the inside presence. RANDY Culpepper hops around and calls it comedy from the outside. And slow teams aren't what gave UTEP trouble this year anyway. Butler falls.

4 Vanderbilt vs. 13 Murray State

There's a lot of reasons to like Murray State here. Murray State crashes the offensive glass with style and aplomb. They also generate a lot of turnovers and a team like Vanderbilt can be weak in taking teams off of the defensive glass and protecting the ball. I can't believe I'm talking myself into this. But teams with good guardplay and or teams that can force bad shots inside have been Vanderbilt's big issue. Murray State can do both. Murray State advances.

6 Xavier vs. 11 Minnesota

Minnesota is a talented enough team that they could beat Xavier, but Xavier has enough shooters to make that sort of a scenario highly unlikely. And I trust Xavier's defense. So? The Musketeers roll onto round 2.

3 Pittsburgh vs. 14 Oakland

Please. You don't need me to tell you who wins this game.

7 BYU vs. 10 Florida

Every year I pick BYU in the first round and every year they get pummeled. I know that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and hoping for a different result? But you know what. This pick is crazy. BYU.

2 Kansas State vs. 15 North Texas

Frank Martin advances to round 2. Thanks for playing Angry Green.

ROUND 2

1 Syracuse vs. 9 Florida State

This result is as easy as the fact that Syracuse generates enough turnovers to make Florida State pay, Florida State can't hit the three, and Syracuse can. Survive and advance PC Oranges. Survive and advance.

12 UTEP vs. 13 Murray State

Remember when I said that UTEP had trouble with teams that run faster than they do? Murray State doesn't. They also have had some issues taking care of the ball. UTEP won't blow them out, but the size and experience will win out.

6 Xavier vs. 3 Pittsburgh

This game feels like a coin flip. But I'm willing to trust in Pittsburgh's ability to control the pace and limit fast break opportunities. So yeah. Pitt goes ahead.

7 BYU vs. 2 Kansas State

I can't pick BYU here. I just can't. Kansas State is the sort of team BYU hasn't seen much if at all this year. And teams that could rebound have been the end of BYU via a right thrashing in previous seasons.

SWEET 16

1 Syracuse vs. 12 UTEP

The run ends for the Miners right here. Faster team, and they'll win on the offensive glass. Onuaku should be back by this point as well. The Cuse may win by 20.

2. Kansas State vs. 3 Pittsburgh

Kansas State has the better defense in this match-up. Pittsburgh may force bad shots, but the Wildcats are better glass cleaners. Kansas State may give up turnovers? But Pittsburgh won't take advantage of that. Kansas State rolls on.

ELITE 8

1 Syracuse vs. 2 Kansas State

This looks like one of those classic 88-84 up and down games where there are 21 lead changes. And if you're living in a world where the game looks like it's going to be tight as well as classic. Bet on the team with the best player. Kansas State does not have Wes Johnson.

So yeah. 2 down 2 to go.

The Midwest Bracket

2010-03-15T10:33:00.000-05:00

Okay, in the interest of full disclosure? I'm going to tell you that I usually collapse by the first weekend. It's like a mediocre golfer at the Masters. But seeing as I'm starving the people in regards to production? I'll give you a commentary as I fill in the brackets.

We will start with the Midwest.

1 Kansas vs. 16 Lehigh

Kansas. I know that Bucknell has beaten a Bill Self led team. But Kansas is obvious.

8 UNLV vs. 9 Northern Iowa

Teams than can defend inside have given lots of trouble to the Rebels. The Rebels lost to Utah twice this year and they were kind of pretty terrible. Northern Iowa has one of the best rebounders in the country in Egelseder. I say they get to strap it up versus KU.

5 Michigan State vs. 12 New Mexico State

This is not the 5-12 upset that you're looking for. Izzo is built to win games in the tournament. Michigan State gets the win. Easy.

4 Maryland vs. 13 Houston

Houston absolutely can keep it interesting for 30-35 minutes. But the thing about Maryland? They get beaten by teams that rock the offensive glass. Houston just does not have that sort of genius power to their game. Maryland advances.

6 Tennessee vs. 11 San Diego State

This is the sort of matchup that actually plays right into San Diego State's hands. Most of the teams that have shown that they can beat Tennessee have an inside presence. If you tamp down inside shooting and crash the glass? You can beat Tennessee. And Tennessee isn't the strongest team defending inside. I'm going to take the Aztecs.

3 Georgetown vs. 14 Ohio

Ohio's just happy to be here. The team that gets hot to get in will not get beyond the first round. Ohio may gave won 5 in a row and 7 out of 8, but please. Please. Georgetown.

7 Oklahoma State vs. 10 Georgia Tech

It actually favors Georgia Tech on paper. It's not the run and gun Oklahoma State of years before. And they haven't generated the turnovers that have killed the Bees at several points during the year. Oklahoma State's going to have to make threes to have a chance here. And it hasn't happened yet.

2 Ohio State vs. 15 Cal-State Santa Barbara.

Ohio State can work it inside. UCSB gets killed by teams with an inside presence. Buckeyes get to round two.

ROUND 2

1 Kansas vs. 9 Northern Iowa

The Balance of Kansas will make them win. Northern Iowa just doesn't have the offensive horses. It'll be something like last years Purdue score. 61-55 or something.

4 Maryland vs. 5 Michigan State

Remember when I said that Maryland has trouble with teams that find a way to hit the offensive glass? Say hello to Tom Izzo's latest trip to the Sweet 16. The 9th best team at hitting the offensive glass will overcome a good Maryland team.

3 Georgetown vs. 11 San Diego State

The big bugaboo for the Aztecs is their inability to defend a team that can consistently hit from beyond the arc thereby limiting their inside defensive presence. With players like Austin Freeman and Jason Clark? Georgetown will get into the Sweet 16. (But I want it to be known if this was like a Football bowl pool? I'd give this game a low confidence score. BETWEEN THE HEDGINGS!)

2 Ohio State vs. 10 Georgia Tech

This is the sort of game that Ohio State will pull out. Georgia Tech's size will keep them in it for a long while. They may even be leading as we get to crunch time. However? Georgia Tech cannot make a free throw to save their life. And we all know that Evan Turner's rolling through his draft status drive.

SWEET 16

1 Kansas vs. 5 Michigan State

Redemption comes through in this game. Kansas is one of the deadliest teams at defending inside. Outside shooting is Michigan State's big weakness. They get down by 10 and it's over. Kansas to the Elite Eight.

2 Ohio State vs. 3 Georgetown

Georgetown is a team that doesn't take care of the ball. They also don't go to the bench unless they absolutely have to. And they also don't have Evan Turner. The better defense will win this game. And that goes to the Buckeyes.

Regional Final

1 Kansas vs. 2 Ohio State

I have no empirical evidence as to exaclty why I'm saying this. But I am going with Ohio State. Evan Turner is the sort of superstar that Kansas doesn't have. And you know what else? By this point anyway? My bracket is toast. So guts and nuts. Buckeyes to the Final Four.

The Quarterback Class in the NFL Draft

2010-03-12T10:46:00.000-06:00

It's kind of a weak list again. No quarterback on the list is completely without a question. And considering the amount of money that's going to be put out there for the top guys? It has the potential to be a scary scenario at the top.

Sam Bradford (QB-Oklahoma)

Obviously? There's a lot to like about this man. Deadly accurate with a good enough arm. He's good enough to place the ball where it has to be to avoid the interception. And he can pick up the first down if necessary by running the ball.

But he missed the rough eqiuvalent of nine games last season. And considering his rawness at a pro-style offense? It means you are not getting a guy why would have a 22/20 TD/INT ratio. He locks on his receiver. And he was much more of a system quarterback than you'd think. His reads were a whole lot more Stoops-based. So what does that mean? You're paying nearly 75 million dollars for somebody in 2012. And then the world's gonna end.

Jimmy Clausen (QB-Notre Dame)

The Zack Ryder of College Football had an impressive season in 2009. I mean, it wasn't the defense that was Notre Dame's issue last season, right? And he definitively has the highest floor. A pro style offense? He was solid in it. Upside? He has copious amounts of it. Accuracy? He can make all the throws. Arm? Yep.

But in a way? He's Ron Pawlus writ small. Not to say that he can't be Phillip Rivers. (He's a jerkass who has a tendency to float passes), But you expected more from him. And how much of last year was due to Golden Tate and Michael Floyd? He's the safe 1st round pick. But meh.

Colt McCoy (QB-Texas)

He doesn't have a great arm. Most of his throws are under 20 yards. He has a tendency to take off and run. He will try to make the gunslinger move to make something happen. He has almost never had to be the man to get his team the win. So? There's a real chance he's going to be a higher regarded version of a Kliff Kingsbury or Andre Woodson.

Then again? He's got a chance to be Jeff Garcia, or let alone a Drew Brees. He's one of the smarter quarterbacks in College Football. And he knows how to run smart so he does not get killed. He has strong poise and good intelligence. For all we know? He could grow up to be Jared Zabransky.

Tim Tebow (QB-Florida)

We all know Tebow.
He has no quarterback skills.
Convert to the Y.

Old photo. Old site.
Number one on the Google.
Pretty soon old site dies.

Haiku fail.

In tribute to Corey Haim...

2010-03-10T11:00:00.000-06:00

I present to you what I am...dead serious...about as the best Corey elated sketch of all time.

If I had to name the 33 at-large teams?

2010-03-04T23:34:00.000-06:00

We can start with the obviously in from the Big Six who aren't leading their conference.

ACC: Duke*, Maryland*, Clemson, Florida State
Big 12: Kansas State, Missouri, Baylor, Texas A&M, Texas, Oklahoma State
Big East: Villanova, West Virginia, Pittsburgh, Marquette
Big 10: Purdue, Michigan State, Wisconsin
Pac 10: NOBODY (Cal is leading the conference, after all.)
SEC: Vanderbilt, Tennessee

Okay, so where we are here? 18 teams. So we're down to 15 teams. And currently, we have three non Big Six at-large teams. (2 of Xavier, Temple, and Richmond, as well as BYU). That makes 12 teams.

1. Georgetown (They're scuffling badly. They've very likely done enough to get there. Their strength of schedule is 1. And SOS is the strongest factor for bubble teams right now.
2. Virginia Tech (The computer numbers are terrible. But either they beat Georgia Tech and get 10-6 in the best conference ever. Or they get the 12 seed in the first round of the conference tournament.)
3. Louisville (They beat Syracuse and they're an automatic lock. But they'll get a bye into the second round of the tournament. And even if they don't? Their SOS is currently 7.)

4. Rhode Island
5. San Diego State
6. Dayton
--This is the sort of thing where there really is not much available on the Bubble. All these teams have decent resumes, and a team like Mississippi State is fringy with their strength of schedule and road striggles. I could see one of these three teams (Dayton) get left out. But that being said? There could be a problem if all three get left out.

7. Arizona State
8. Florida
9. Georgia Tech (A tough game versus Virginia Tech. But they've won all they were supposed to. They take back Virginia Tech on Saturday? They should be fine with one tournament win.)
10. Wake Forest (The loss to North Carolina is leaving them among the walking wounded. The final regular season game is versus Clemson. Not that the 6th place team of the ACC likely can't get in, but they might be 7th.)

11. Ole Miss
12. Washington
13. Mississippi State

14. UNLV
15. Notre Dame (The RPI is 61. They lost to Loyola Marymount in South Bend. And their strength of schedule isn't nearly enough to overcome both without a deep run in the tournament.)
16. South Florida
17. UAB
18. Illinois (They have to beat Wisconsin twice or Wisconsin/Michigan State. Pretty much dead.)
19. Seton Hall
20. Minnesota (Would need a run to the Big 10 tournament finals to get in.)

I know it looks half-assed. But damnit. I'm bored. So hey. That's okay.

Mariekson Gregorious! Dutch Shortstop!

2010-03-03T22:22:00.002-06:00

If you utter his name five times in rapid succession, a tulip shall grow from where you stand.

The Big and Pacific 10 Bubble Watchery.

2010-02-27T16:36:00.000-06:00

Why two conferences? Because it's simple. The Pac 10 only has three teams that are in contention. The Big 10 is pretty much locked in at 5 bids. And I am lazy. As you can probably tell, right?

In: Purdue. Despite the tragic Robbie Hummel injury? They've done more than enough to porbably be a #2 seed. Ohio State. A solid RPI, a massive run (9-1 in their last 10), and 5 wins in the RPI top 50 with 12 conference wins equals locked down. Michigan State does not have the number one seed resume anymore, but two gimme home games coming up and an overall solid resume means a lock. In terms of quality wins? (Maryland, Duke, Marquette, Ohio State, Purdue and Michigan State) Wisconsin has done a lot. If they got a road win versus Illinois? It may get them a three seed.

Barring a collapse: Illinois. The Las Vegas Invitational killed their computer numbers. (Losing to Bradley and Utah would keep anybody from getting in this year.) But they have a legitimate shot at 12 conference wins if they can steal one against Wisconsin or Ohio State and hold serve versus Minnesota. If not? They'll likely get a second chance against Wisconsin in the tournament. If they don't? Then things could be interesting. California. It was a big win today against Arizona State. They win against Stanford? And they have the computer numbers to be the at-large team.

Bubble Teams: Minnesota has an RPI nearing 80. They have to win tonight if they even want to think about the Tournament. Arizona State. They have an RPI in the 50's and don't have the resume to handle getting upset even once. (Best win? San Diego State.) But they are better than Washington. Their RPI kisses 60, and they're 1-6 on the road. Their last three regular season games? On the road.

UPDATE: Minnesota is up double figures against Illinois. 46-31 as I type this. Could the Big Ten only get four teams?

Big East in a Bubble Scenario?

2010-02-26T15:37:00.000-06:00

In? Syracuse. Even with a gimpy Wes Johnson they'll be a #2 seed. Villanova. They're also a #2 seed. Maybe a #1 seed if they make a tournament run. West Virginia. You think a team that has an RPI and SOS of 5/3 has done enough to get in? I know I do.

Barring a collapse? Pittsburgh. The non-conference wasn't impressive. But they won ten games and they're at the easy point of their schedule. Providence and Rutgers in Pittsburgh equals soon Panther fan. Soon. Georgetown. A couple of weird losses (at Rutgers, South Florida, and Old Dominion) means they have to win at least one more game. Louisville? Yeah. I'll leave them here. But two road games at UConn and Marquette and the return match with Syracuse? It means there could be that sort of collapse.

Bubble teams? Marquette. Sure, they control their own destiny. Louisville, Seton Hall, and Notre Dame are all quite winnable. But a .500 in the Big East Marquette is going to need to work a miracle to get in. 10 wins would still need tournament help. UConn is in a similar boat as Marquette, though with a strength of schedule at 2 they could go 9-9 and have a real case to be in. (But they have Notre Dame and South Florida on the road. Intricate.) Notre Dame? They also have to travel to Georgetown. And with a gimpy Harangody? Seton Hall is on the fringes. They beat Marquette and I'll delve into their case further.

One out of the four bubble teams is going to give the Big East seven berths. The Tournament is going to be fun.

The Big 12 in a Bubble Scenario?

2010-02-26T05:58:00.000-06:00

It's pretty well locked in. Kansas is going to be a #1 seed, It's just going to happen. Kansas State has been impressive all year, and they should enjoy a two seed as a reward for it.

Likely in barring a complete collapse? Missouri still has to make a swing through the Kansas', but you know what? 10 Big 12 wins and an RPI above 40 is an invitation to the dance, no matter if you lost to Oral Roberts. Texas had a bad month. But road games at Texas A&M and Baylor are good enough for seeding. Win one of those? It's locked in. Baylor has two near gimmes, and that would get them to 10 wins. But with an RPI/SOS of 12/19? You could say that they're locked in. Speaking of Texas A&M? The RPI/SOS is 18/6. If they win one more game? That should be enough.

The official bubble team? Oklahoma State. They really have no indefensible loss. The RPI and SOS reside in the mid-30's. They did beat Kansas State in Manhattan, and that's nice. But they would need to either take Kansas or Texas A&M to avoid needing a tournament win.

Then again? With only five at large teams from non Big six conferences right now? (Richmond, Rhode Island, Xavier, BYU, and UAB*.) Oklahoma State probably has nothing to worry about.

*And UAB still has to make a run with Memphis and at UTEP. Not safe yet.

The ACC in a Bubble Scenario.

2010-02-24T00:16:00.000-06:00

Who's in? Duke. They're locked in. Nothing you can do about it but root against them.

Who's just about? Maryland. Even if they win one of their last four? It's 10 ACC wins with solid computer numbers. Nothing wrong with that. Virginia Tech. The strength of schedule sucks and they have no marquee win if the wheels fall off. But with North Carolina State and Boston College on the schedule? 23 wins and 10 ACC wins probably will not be denied. Wake Forest. A disaster of a loss to North Carolina state would be all but forgotten with wins at home versus North Carolina and Clemson. Florida State. The schedule sets up nicely. Wake Forest and Clemson? Those are the home games. Miami and North Carolina? Those are the road games. 3-1 is enough.

On the Bubble? Clemson. I can see how you'd say they should be up a level. Several decent wins and they have no truly indefensible loss. Illinois has a legitimate shot at 12 Big Ten wins. That's Tournament right there. But road games at Maryland, Florida State and Wake Forest do not bode well. And don't forget that Georgia Tech is in the danger zone as well. They will need to go to Littlejohn fighting for their lives.

And speaking of the Bees? They should beat Boston College. But they may be going into a home game with Virginia Tech needing a win to get to 8-8. And Virginia Tech is never a gimme.

The ACC will likely get six bids. Maybe seven. Well, if you look at the scenarios. The Pac-10 is only getting two teams. The Mountain West is only getting two teams. And the A-10? Any talk of six bids was surely exaggerated. Dayton is looking like they're gonna have to steal to get in the tournament.

Anyway...hi.

*waves*

The Bucks made a couple of moves.

2010-02-18T16:40:00.000-06:00

Nothing as inherently earth-shaking as the Rockets. And nothing near as funny as the Clippers getting a back-up and an expiring contract for Marcus Camby. But there was some interesting value culled.

The deal with the Sixers can break interesting. In most aspects, it's really a challenge trade in terms of Meek for a #2. I know Skiles is going to like Ivey's inherent Royal Ivey. But the gangsta Primoz Brezec is not going to be around next seaon. And as for the Bucks? They can get both a ninja rebounder like a Kenneth Faried as well as an upside play like an Alexy Shved.

Or a reverse. General Greivous and Latavious Williams? It can only help.

Then again? Meeks could become a killer with a change of scenery. Many people called that pick a sleeper. My first instinct is to like this deal. But it could change quickly.

Salmons for the expiring contracts of Hakim Warrick and Joe Alexander? It depends. Salmons is a very versatile piece. He can play the two, three, and even the four if you want to run a small ball. His offensive game is a between a three and a four. The only thing is? His defense is average on its best day. Skiles may not use him as much as he should.

But a line-up of Jennings-Ridnour-Salmons-Ilyasova-Bogut? It most definitely seems like it could be worth som running as well as some gunning.

This could be an interesting Trade Deadline.

2010-02-18T00:20:00.004-06:00

The Rockets apparently just traded for Kevin Martin. At least according to Marc Stein.

I'm gonna wait to learn more, but you know what? Until further notice, Morey did something masterful. Martin is good enough to be deemed a superstar. And Sacramento wants to get in the 2010 lotteratorium?

LOL What?

Portland picks up Camby. Like it.

I'm still not over the fact that The Meat Tree McCamey is hotter than a Ghost Chile

2010-02-11T01:15:00.001-06:00

And I had to travel through a 6 inch dusting of snow to find out that I couldn't sell any of the other five tickets I ended up with AND watch the Badgers grow colder than Ryan Grant's reception to my Marge Schott dick joke in the final Ten Minutes.

I am too sad to type further missives in longer than 140 characters.

The Big 10 Race, in a nutshell.

2010-02-08T16:13:00.003-06:00

It's basically decided. Anyone doing worse than Illinois has no shot. As I said previously? We still have seven tournament contenders. And yet...we only have five teams that are looking at the conference title.

Michigan State is bloodied, and there are four contenders breathing down their neck. Can they hold on? Yes. Suffice it to say they can.

Why? Sure, Purdue poses a problem without Kalin Lucas, even at Breslin. But after that we have Sparty facing Penn State twice, Indiana, and Michigan. That's four wins. Ohio State comes to Breslin, and Purdue has a return match. Sparty could very well go 6-1. But 5-2 gets them to 14-4.

Homeristic tendencies aside? The Badgers have a shot to make run the table. With Al Nolen ineligible, traveling to the barn becomes easier. Northwestern struggles on the boards, and that's at home. Not to say that Illinois doesn't have the length to cause fits for Wisky, but suffice it to say that that the Badgers are looking at a 7-1 finish. Split versus Illinois, sweep Indiana, beat Iowa, Northwestern and Minnesota. So that is also a 14-4 finish.

Ohio State has two tough games as well to end the year. Purdue comes to Value City, and they travel to the Breslin. They also have two against Illinois. Indiana, Penn State, and Michigan vibe as gimmes. I see this as a 6-2 finish. But that means 13-5. It's a little tougher of a road.

A lot tougher of a road belongs to Illinois. 4 games against Wisconsin and Ohio State. Add to that a game against Purdue, and there's a distinct possibility they will lose all five of these games. They travel to Ann Arbor and get Minnesota at home. I'll say they get three. Enough to get in the tournament, but 11-7 is strictly second echelon.

Purdue looks like they'll have a say in the conference championship. Two versus Sparty, and I think they'll get them both. But they have to travel to the Barn and Value City. Admittedly?That's a strange scenario and they won't go unscathed. But they'll make the conference championship a triple triad.

It will also make the tournament fun.

The Ten Things I Learned from this Thought Exercise?

2010-02-07T00:47:00.003-06:00

The Mid-Major conference tournament to watch? The Colonial Athletic Conference. They have four teams who I would not be surprised to see in the second weekend. Old Dominion already took down Georgetown. But you know what? With Northeastern and Virginia Commonwealth rocking the suburbs, and William and Mary lurking, you will not see ODU win the conference.
Virginia Commonwealth will. Utah State will probably run down Louisiana Tech and get the WAC coming into the home stretch. Charlotte also probably won't win the A-10, and with Richmond and Dayton with very similar solid resumes? The March 5th game in Dayton will likely decide who joins Xavier, Temple, and Rhode Island.
The Big East dream of 8 bids is very much alive. South Florida has climbed up onto the bubble with Gus Gilchrist nursing a mangled ankle. And I'm sure that all is forgiven for that CMU loss. Louisville will have the super SOS number that will have 20 wins be enough for their entry. Marquette has been suffering through some bad luck this year, but their schedule is soft enough that they can run to the Conference tourney unbeaten.
The Pac-10? They will be lucky to get three bids. Arizona State doesn't have the computer numbers. USC's digits are worse. Arizona will inexplicably get a bid just to spite me.
Northwestern also could get in despite the computer numbers saying nothing of the sort. Pomeroy has this team going 21-10 and 9-9. If they beat the Golden Gophers at Welsh-Ryan and hold serve with the downy soft schedule. It's the one team that has never made the tournament from a Big Six school that went better than .500 in conference. You think a team like UAB is going to get in over them?
Teams like UAB, Wichita State, William and Mary, Richmond, Northeastern, and San Diego State will further prove the continuing irrelevancy of the RPI to the selectionariat. All these teams will have decent to great computer numbers. All will go to the NIT.
The most backdooring bubble team in the last four in? Oklahoma State. James Anderson will carry the team upon his back.
The worst team that is still currently still alive for an at-large berth? Southern Miss.
The three conferences that will steal an at-large berth for a multi-bid league? The MVC, the Horizon, and the West Coast. If Siena doesn't win their tournament? Well. That would be interesting, now wouldn't it?
We'll be living in a weird world where the Mountain West will be getting more bids than the Pac-10 and as many as the SEC. The A-10 has a legitimate case for five bids. That's on the level of any conference not named the Big East. I'd be very disappointed if the selection committee shorts these leagues.

The Top 30 teams on the Bubble Watch.

2010-02-06T23:00:00.004-06:00

I shall present them without comment, for I am under the gun in terms of writing something else and I will get back to that soon enough.

Projected Auto Bids (in order of RPI)
Kansas
Syracuse
Duke
Kentucky
Michigan State
Northern Iowa
Butler
BYU
Cal
Siena
St. Mary's
Charlotte
Cornell
Northeastern
UTEP
Kent State
Oakland
Louisiana Tech
Sam Houston State
Weber St.
College of Charleston
Murray State
Pacific
Morgan State
Jacksonville
Coastal Carolina
Stony Brook
Arkansas State
Robert Morris
Lehigh
Morgan State
Jackson State

And that means we'll have 31 teams as at-larges. But first? We'll have the teams that should be in barring a complete and total disaster.

Should Be In
West Virginia
Villanova
Kansas State
Georgetown
Wisconsin
New Mexico
Purdue
Rhode Island
Wake Forest
Vanderbilt
Temple
Tennessee
Pittsburgh
Texas A&M
Texas
Gonzaga
Georgia Tech
Baylor

So this leaves us at 52 teams. Which means I will have 13 teams that have an in, and 12 teams that are out.

So...

Xavier
Ohio State
Maryland
Ole Miss
Florida State
Marquette
Louisville
Florida
Washington
UNLV
Clemson
Old Dominion
Oklahoma State
Florida
South Florida
Dayton
Richmond
UAB
Missouri
Virginia Commonwealth
Arizona
William and Mary
Utah State
Witchita State
Northwestern
Minnesota
Tulsa
Texas Tech
UConn
Cincinnati

JOEY, I'M NOT ANGRY ANYMORE!

2010-02-05T18:20:00.002-06:00

It seems as if Joey Graham is going to be the one to watch in tonight's Raptors/Nuggets game. And as I seem to have put Concrete Blonde upon repeat? Apparently I get to misinterpret the shit out of lyrics.

YAY!

Strange things happen in the Kohl Center.

2010-02-02T15:51:00.003-06:00

I'm not trying to say that the Badgers are going to take down the Spartans. Sparty lives down low, and the Badgers are looking nuch like a Big 10 edition of a strong Missouri Valley Conference team with three guards and a "center" whos offense is based on pulling people away from the low post.

In what will undoubetdly be my most trenchant analysis of all time, the fact is the Badgers will need to make baskets to even have a chance here. (Okay, we'll call it over 40% of their threes.) Also? Second chance baskets. Get some. Convert them.

I know the home court environment is worth about five points. And upsets also happen. A pre-Cinderellan North Dakota State came to Madison and exited with nothing short of victory. But Michigan State is a legitimate force of basketball nature. I'll call it Michigan State 58, Wisconsin 52.