Love, Hope, and College Football Gimmicks

Though in fairness? If it's a well-regarded post, it's not a gimmick. For those of you who just got here. The rules of this post are simple. There are 120 teams. And there are reasons to love each and every one of them.

These can be empirical, these can be whimsical. Sometimes? They can even seem irrational. But it's all good. Something for everybody and whatnot.

ACTION FORCE GO!



Atlantic Coast
Boston College: There always seems to be a legit talent in the recent history of the Eagles. From Matty Ice to B.J. Raji to this years tag team at linebacker? There's always a reason why the Eagles will kick a little ass in the ACC. This year you get the Freshman sensation Luke Kuechly's sequel in conjunction with Mark Herzlich. If he doesn't inspire you by playing football after breaking bad? I have no time for you.
Clemson: The X-Factor for Clemson will most likely be their Corico Vision. For you see? Their secondary is badass. Their defensive line is badass. The linebackers? Brandon Maye is badass. But Corico Hawkins needs to step up if their defense is going to rival...
Duke: At a brocentric school like Duke, there is a semblance of hope that with the considerably lowered entry for a bowl game, and the experienced offense, there could be a Bro trip to a locale like Albuquerque, Boise, or St. Petersburg. Now while I won't tell such brochachos to reserve their tickets, I will say that Desmond Scott will run the ball for many yards. And bros, that's a good thing.
Florida State: You want to know the reason why I shed no tears for Bobby Bowden? He had an electrifying athlete who was looking like a shutdown cornerback? And he didn't start him. Greg Reid was never more than a return man and a nickel back. You cannot be blinded by a cool name like Ochuko Jenije. Best 11 on the field, son.
Georgia Tech: You would think that an inside running beast like Jonathan Dwyer would not be easily replaced. In this instance, you would be mistaken. Anthony Allen has a chip on his shoulder. And he will make every defender feel his pain about being ditched with Steve Kragthorpe.
Maryland: Sometimes, the premise of Linebacker U is something of a misnomer. After all, teams have 3 or 4 of them. And usually only one is interesting. But in the decade of the Fridgening? Maryland has been able to generate quality defenders at linebacker. And while Maryland is a lot worse nowadays? Alex Wujciak is a linebacker that belongs in the beginning of the decade.
Miami (FL) : Doppler 3000 has issued a weather alert for all ACC Backfields. There's a Storm coming. And with a backfield in some disarray, he has an opportunity to do damage quickly. He may either have been named after an X-Men or random bad weather, but Storm Johnson has a potential to be severe. Yeah. Sorry about that.
N.C. State: If you're looking for an interesting sleeper candidate for a professional wideout? Jarvis Williams is your man. He's big and rangy and every fourth catch of his last year? It went for a touchdown. That's Cris Carterish amateurism.
North Carolina: You want to see a team do an impression of the 2000 Baltimore Ravens? The Tar Heels are your team. On offense, they are stuck with the irrelevant joke of an offensive coordinatior in John Shoop. But on defense? Oh mama. Deep, talented, and experienced. There will be at least six prospects that will dot NFL teams draft boards that will be gone by the third round. (Robert Quinn-DE, Marvin Austin-DT, Bruce Carter-OLB, Quan Sturdivant-OLB, Kendric Burney-CB, Charles Brown-CB, and Deunta Williams-FS). Add in Tydreke Powell-DT and Quentin Coples-DE as juniors with tremendous upside potential and you won't see many teams getting to 20 against the Heels.

A long way to say, yay defense I know, but they probably could defend on a professional level this year. And only Clemson could come close in-conference.
Virginia: Sometimes with a team of little regard, there's one bright shiny superstar. For the Cavaliers, whose strength is in an experienced offensive line and Ras-I Dowling, it fits this archetype perfectly. Because Ras-I is big and rangy.
Virginia Tech: Now while the Hokies have a running back tag team that some would consider to be as deadly as Christian Okoye and Barry Word from back in the day and an emerging dual threat in Tyrod Taylor. I'm not here for that. They've recruited another awesome name. From the people who brought you Ju-Ju Clayton, it's E.L. Smiling! It's a name that makes you think of keebler and white teeth! And he's rangy too!
Wake Forest: You wouldn't normally look upon a Demon Deacon as something akin to hip-hop. After all? The most famous alumnus that I can think of is Tim Duncan. And as bros go, he is most definitely chill. But the nose guard Ramon Booi? This kid is definitively hip-hop. He will turn many P.A. announcers into annoying hypemen.



Big 12
Baylor: The significant thing is that you get Robert Griffin back and healthy. He's the sort of threat that makes the Baylor running game a nightmare to slow down. And when you throw in a potential Terrence Cody impersonator in Phil Taylor locking down the other side of the field? A Vanderbilt-esque bowl run is not out of the question. (The schedule's a wee bit back loaded.)
Colorado: A highly touted linebacker with a ready-made nickname is ready to step back into the breach. Jon Major is in year two coming off of an ACL injury which forced the hand of the Buffaloes. They used seven linebackers for three spots last year. The prime minister should solve that whole to do,
Iowa State: Some people thought I was mad for saying that Iowa State had a window of opportunity for success. I take the general apathy toward my blog as an apology. For an encore? A healthier receiving corp with Lonzie Range and Darius Reynolds portend a stronger offense. Replacing Army with Utah? Portends a December without a bowl.
Kansas: This is what you get for firing Mark Mangino. Yeah, his methods may have been old school. But guess what? You're gonna be in Conference USA next year. Nobody wants a great college basketball program. They want a possibly insane football coach. Lew Perkins, you have made this bed, and now Rock Chalk has to lie in it.
Kansas State: Now sometimes I have this long spiel and sometimes I attempt humor. One team gets nothing. But sometimes? It's as simple as the fact that the leading rusher returns. For K-State Daniel Thomas returns. And I give him an entry as boring as his name. Not his game.
Missouri: There's history and tradition in the previous decade of quality play at quarterback at Missouri. From Brad Smith and Chase Daniel, Blaine Gabbert has been handed the reins of an offense on the grow. And when you consider his pedigree, there is no reason not to suspect he can't have a greater level of success. That's why Derrick Washington is the reason to love these Tigers.
Nebraska: The team that looks to be destroying their conference will be destroying random offensive lines with the blood lines of Baker Steinkuhler and the best name for an 1890's society woman to say "Well, I never" to in a Mister Jared Crick. Add in the royalty of Prince Amukamara, and you have the perfect heel team for fans of the Big 12. They're threatening to take the strap with them on to bigger and better things.
Oklahoma: If you want the team that will likely lose the National Championship game? Go to Norman. They have excellent triplets in Jones-Murray-Broyles, with good depth behind them. Add in some nice pieces on defense in Jeremy Beal and Travis Lewis? You can see this team roll through the regular season. And since it's a Bob Stoops team? BCS death.
Oklahoma State: Kendall Hunter is what you would consider an unselfish bro. Keith Toston was desperate to develop some sort of professional resume. And Mr. Hunter was all like relax, leave it to me. One ankle injury later and Toston was poston defenders.

...yeah. I'm sorry too. But the fact of the matter is that because Kendall Hunter's ankle decided to move aside, he gets all the carries that he can handle. Your mileage may vary on if it's a good thing.
Texas: It takes a special talent to see the field as a freshman at a program such as Texas. But Jackson Jeffcoat has the blood lines of a professional as well as the opportunity to roll up on some suckers right quick. All he has to do is beat out Chike's cousin Alex Okeafor. It can be done.
Texas A&M: There is nothing as appealing and straight up badass as a dude who racks up sacks. And the Aggies? They've got themselves a winner in Von Miller. He racked up 17 sacks with a defensive line where he was in fact the only thing you had to watch out for. I'm not invoking Freeney here, but that's a job skill that can make you millions.
Texas Tech: Mike Leach probably recruited him for the ironic value of having a Red Baron, but Baron Batch is suddenly the most important man in Lubbock. Tuberville has a bit of the riverboat gambler in him, so he won't totally get away from what Leach has done, but the Red Baron is going to be eluding defenders as if they were a Sopwith Camel.

Big East
Cincinnati: They may not have the cachet of Pike to Gilyard, but when you consider the fact that Robo-QB always needed to return to the shop for repairs. And in stepped Zach Collaros. And it was good. He gets to have two potential greats to throw to in Armon Binns and hotshot transfer Vidal Hazelton. He also has Isaiah Pead running the ball. I see no possible joke by that name.
Connecticut: It's Tod-Man. Trucking bros up and down the East Coast with his running back skills. Once a member of a tag team with Andre Dixon, Jordan Todman has the entirety of the run of the carries. And if you consider that this is the school of Donald Brown? If I had to make a wager on somebody getting 2000 yards, the smart money would be on Tod-Man.
Louisville: One might think that after the transfer of Matt Simms, a quarterback of majestic blood lines would not reside in Louisville. They would be wrong. For you see, Adam Froman returns. And he returns with the promise of cased meats from Chicago and competent game management. And he will deliver on one of them.
Pittsburgh: The Midnight Express return to rush the passer. Jonathan Baldwin returns to catch a goodly sum for passes. But for my money? Dion Lewis may have had a lot of carries, but he's not hunting any sort of college football curse of 370. He's not going to tear his ACL for an encore. He makes the Panthers fun.
Rutgers: The relationship between DC Jefferson and his key supporting character in Revenge of the Nerds Father has become strained during the recruiting process and preseason practices. A year later? DC is hopeful. And he is ready to contribute to the Tom Savage Passing Attack. And he'll do some things.
South Florida: Lost in the tragic injuries of Matt Groethe's injury was the emergence of B.J. Daniels as a strong dual-threat candidate. If the ball is in his hands, the defense has got a problem. Especially when you consider that the offensive line has everybody coming back. There's a definite chance of 2000 yards passing and 1000 yards rushing for Daniels.
Syracuse: I'm going to keep this simple. They have a strong defensive presence in terms of Doug Hogue. He's the returning leader in sacks, tackles for loss, and pass break ups. And if Delone Carter has can manage to keep cool? They'll get a running presence back in the fall. (Though like Mike Williams, I wouldn't hold my breath.)
West Virginia: Noel Devine is the obvious speed burner of the couch burner's eye. But for me? Jock Sanders is running a close second. Decent skills of a running back. Soft hands like a receiver. Speed of a gazelle. The name of an athlete. His exploits are bound to make Morgantown feel joyous.



Big Ten
Illinois: One word. Twenty-seven syllables. Scheelhaase. The expectations of quarterback play in Champaign have been lowered somewhat considerably with Juice Williams play post Cinderella run. And with Nathan Scheelhasse growing up with a practitioner of the Petrino supersytem? They may not get all the way back, but they may not be in the crater of 2009 again.
Indiana: Darius Willis is a talented running back with a nice combination of speed and power. With a competent offense returning, even after the graduation of Rodger Saffold, his health is the key to bringing Indiana a chance to roll into a bowl game. The non-conference schedule (Towson, at Western Kentucky, Akron, Arkansas State) is the other one.
Iowa: I'm not going to roll up on you with Adrian Clayborn. You don't need me to tell you that he's awesome. Ricky Stanzi? You may not think he's awesome from a cursory look at the stats. But look at the man's gunslinger Q-rating. It's astronomical. He plays for America. He plays for the streets. He speaks to the hope Obama once espoused.
Michigan: Not since the days of Tim Biakabutka have the Wolverines had such a slasher cum home run hitter with a fabulous name. Meet Fitzgerald Toussaint. Out for 2009 with a broken collarbone, there is an opening for a runner with real home run power in Rich Rod's offense. And Youngstown's finest just might roll out on a sprint through green grass and opportunity.
Michigan State: Greg Jones. He's a linebacker with boldness and power to his game. With another stank of controversy wafting through the East Lansing football program? He is a steadying force. And we will see him on Sunday next year.
Minnesota: It's not often where you can lose an Eric Decker and still have a competent receiving corps. But with the athleticism of Troy Stoudermire? There is some promise that if they actually get a quarterback to complete 60% of their passes to Goldy, they will be able to put some points on the board.
Northwestern: I probably shouldn't be typing this as I am skipping having some semblance of a lunch, but I can't kelp but think Arby's when it comes to love and Northwestern. Arby Fields has a certain Tyrell Sutton to his game. Roast beef between the tackles, curly fries on the outside, and hands as soft and cool as a Jamocha shake. I'll stop now.
Ohio State: Tresselball looks to be as much of a comforting force as a sweatervest on a cool September evening. Terrelle Pryor cannot be keyed on this season. Team Boom-Saine is back and ready to roll. And with the awesome Dane Sanzenbacher ready to catch more passes? You can see this team ready to lose (or win?) another BCS game.
Penn State: We all know that Evan Royster is awesome, and we all know that with a stronger offensive line and an inexperienced quarterback, we're not going to see this team roll out in a high defenition wild style. Now that being said, I like Silas Redd better than Evan Royster. It's for obvious reasons.
Purdue: I know it seems as if I'm going to mock someone for not being able to handle Jacory Harris and The U, but Robert Marve has found a tremendous opportunity. Even a down year at Purdue allows a quarterback chances of success in terms of statistics. And spending a winter in West Lafayette after spending a winter in Miami? If Robert Marve does not have a chip on his shoulder he is lazier than I am.
Wisconsin: As a homer? I have to admit the hype of this years team kind of scares me. Not to say that there isn't a lot to like here. The Badgers look to have a very strong offense with John Clay having a monster season and with Scott Tolzien looking like the best returning passer. But J.J. Watt needs someone else to emerge as sort of awesome as well. It's the wrong conference to have an inexperienced D-line.

Conference USA
East Carolina: Dwayne Harris has a chance to develop a special relationship with whoever emerges as the quarterback. He returned three kicks for scores last year and caught 83 passes from Patick Pickney. This year he gets some semblance of the air raid offense with Lincoln Riley calling the plays. Considering the situation the team's in? He could threaten 130 catches.
Houston: Underrated in the Case Keenum throw the ball all over the field train? The Cougars have two tremendous runners. After Bryce Beall got hurt during the season? Charles Sims came out and won Conference USA's Freshman of the year award with a decent season running the ball and remarkably soft hands. (70 catches). Sims has a touch of Reggie Bush in him. And they're gonna be really dangerous because of it.
Marshall: The defense has a real thumper in Mario Harvey. 100-plus tackles and 7 sacks to his credit in 2009 and with Kellen Harris and Vinny Curry along the front seven? This front seven has a chance to be best in breed. The offense on the other hand. They got this interesting recruit to throw the ball around? If only I could remember his name? (Willy Korn).
Memphis: If you want a quarterback with a good omen in his name? Cannon Smith has to be the antithesis of Kale Pick. This Miami Transfer is the best case to improve the Tigers 2-10 record last year. But if he doesn't... you know who his dad is, right? He's the CEO of Federal Express and the T. Boone Pickens of this shit. So it's win win, kid. Win. Win.
Rice: For a team that went into November threatening to join Western Kentucky and Eastern Michigan as a reverse unbeaten, the Owls are downright spry. Last years team was unlucky and young. This years team returns 20 starters and adds Sam McGuffie to a strong backfield. All right, I'll say it. The Owls will make a bowl game.
SMU: I know that pass efficiency is not the most accurate of stats. But if you consider the fact that 200 pass attempts is the qualifying number for efficiency rating? Case Keenum was not the best quarterback in Conference USA. It was the Mustangs Kyle Padron. He may have lost Emmanuel Sanders and Shawnbrey McNeal, but he's got three years of eligibility left. He's gonna be on draftboards come 2011.
Southern Miss: One of the few teams I have gone to the repeat well upon on multiple occasions was your Golden Eagles. DeAndre Brown is big, rangy, and has the De prefix on the name that just adds a certain piquant flavor to the on-field skills. But they've found a defensive counterpart to it as well! Cordarro Law. He's big. Pass-rushy. And he has a name of a lost Babylonian Code of Conduct. So yay.
Tulane: The portmanteau that makes twelve year old me chuckle the most resides here. Casey Robottom is the leading returning pass catcher for the Green Wave. Previous generations of families were employed as robot butts to the Steam Punk builders in the last generation. It was hard dangerous work. They're proud of Casey for getting into such a good school.
Tulsa: An unlucky team with an unorthodox full Malzahn styled offense has a chance to be something very interesting. Left Tackle Tyler Holmes should be healthy. And if he's healthy? G.J. Kinne has a chance to do a real nice Mitch Mustain impression. And Charles Clay? Charles Clay is a real nice thumper.
UAB: The most surprising fact about the Blazers is that quality safety Hiram Atwater is in no way related to badass Denver Bronco Steve Atwater. Hiram hits hard. He covers the field with a quality amount of athleticism. And he makes a lot of plays. Hiram Atwater Senior may have never played the game. But the Sales Rep has brought a strong player into Birmingham.
UCF: I may not be an active trendhunter, but in doing my research, I've found something. We are becoming a college football world where the running backs have names of ladies. Christine Michael was the first. But we've found two more. One resides in Central Florida. The name? Brynn Harvey. He's coming off of a thousand yard season.
UTEP: The cultural irrelevancy of conference USA can be locked down to a late night game in El Paso last September. Donald Buckram went off for 262 yards versus the Houston Cougars and helped UTEP get 58 on the then #12 Cougars. Blame him for the lack of interest in Houston going to the Big 12. Blame him for no run for the BCS for the conference. And blame him for keeping Mike Price from being fired.

Independents (FBS)
Army: They went into the last game of 2009 needing a win to qualify for a bowl game. And all credit goes to Trent Steelman. His talent does not matter. The name implies that he is the sort of gunslinger who is just having fun out there. And he deserves to be treated as such.
Navy: If you could have someone considered to be a service academy NFL Draft prospect? You need to get hyped for Jabaree Tuani. To be a 3-4 defensive end that's about 4 inches and 30 pounds below your standard issue prospect and find yourself being a real disruptive force is impressive. To do it as a Sophomore is amazing.
Notre Dame: Have you ever been to Braxston Cave? If not you should go. It houses a lot of bats. Blitzing stalactites and stalagmites. But if you go? Be careful. You may roll up and find yourself getting iced.



Mid-American
Akron: They always say that great writers steal, and from Matt Sussman I will bestow my entry for the Zips. Their quarterback is named Pat Nicely, which is the standard for the Minnesota State Patrol. (An aside: I do enjoy players whose name could be considered a sentence. So yeah. Whoo.)
Ball State: Ball State returns every starter on offense from last years team that went the top of the mountain to 2-10. Stan Parrish believes in Kelly Page as much as you could believe in any quarterback with a girls name. And with a veteran offensive line and the return of MiQuale Lewis? They will at the very least put multiple points upon the scoreboard.
Bowling Green: The pic-a-nic baskets around Bowling Green, Ohio will be in danger as we come through this summer. The reason? "Booboo" Gates. He's a freshman with the wheels that have allowed him to terrorize Jellystone Park for the better part of six decades now. Just so long as his mentor "Worldwide" Yogi Bear doesn't prove to be a negative influence.
Buffalo: The Bulls have a shark hunting the deep third of the field. He led the team in tackles last year. He may not have the De prefix to his name, but you know what? I think Davonte Shannon is just fine enough to do good work without needing a vowel switch. He's great at the killshot.
Central Michigan: Killer B's rule the Chip nation after the graduation of Dan LeFevour and Antonio Brown. The linebacker tag team of Nick Bellore and Matt Berning is a dual threat of 100 tackles and can help to withstand the graduations along the defensive line. Add to that a shout-out to famed over-actor Armand Assante in the misspelled Armond Staten? And you have some quality linebacking.
Eastern Michigan: I know when you have two quarterbacks it seems as if you're stuck with zero. But when that's the total amount of wins you had last season, the potential future of the quarterback position is where hope begins. And as I pat myself on the back for that segue? I will tell you that Alex Gillett played well in an untenable situation and Devontae Payne has the build and athleticism that could lead to an interesting impression of Terrelle Pryor somehwere down the line.
Kent State: Cobra-la-la-la-la-la is the battle cry for the Golden Flashes. It's in response to the excellent linebacking of Middle Linebacker and RichRod runoff Cobrani Mixon. He's got good physical gifts that he brings to the table, and as this team stands to be pretty good, Cobrani may have power in his future.
Miami (OH): In 2008, it was Buffalo. In 2009, it was Temple. In 2010, the Redhawks are the breakout candidate. They had severe bad luck with injuries and turnovers last year. This year? They have potential professional Zac Dysert being protected by an offensive line that returns every starter. Nine defensive starters return. They won all of a game last year. This year? They could be playing for the conference championship.
Northern Illinois: Following a thread from Central Florida, we've got a hotshot JUCO who's threatening thousand yard rusher Craig Spann. And I will tell you this. Doing a Garrett Wolfe impression makes Jasmin Hopkins feel like a princess. A pretty, pretty princess.
Ohio: It's going to be another mixed pop culture metaphor, but the Ohio receiving corps, even with the loss of Taylor Price, is going to make fans of the Bobcats fart with an aww yeah. Okay, let's see if I can't dig myself out. Price may have been a good home run threat, but Terrance McGee was just as good. Steven Goulet has that essential Goulet. And LaVon Brazill? His return skills make you go aww yeah. Aww yeah.
Temple: If you're a MAC watcher? You have to be wondering what last years breakout team is going to do for an encore. I'm not going to take liberty of making a projection, but I will say this. Bernard Pierce stays healthy? Chester Stewart will be allowed to molest a defense. And the odds of them getting to ten wins are pretty, pretty good.
Toledo: The Rockets have a shot to get all literary with the return of a Freshman sensation named Eric Page. He led all Freshman in terms of catches and receiving yards. He also does some return work with a decent amount of skills. Austin Dantin has a good target to get the ball to.
Western Michigan: Aaron Winchester is the sort of guy who looks like he could have been better served by being an East Coast Heir going west to find his fortune in Red Dead Redemption. But as such? He's got the speed and small frame power of a bullet. And he steps into the light as a potential heir to the Bronco's offense.

Mountain West
Air Force: The reason why Troy Calhoun stayed in Colorado Springs? He's got a quality running back stable. For somebody who runs out of the flexbone? You've got a lot of talent. Asher Clark and Jared Tew are both quality runners. Tew is the thumper. Clark is the converted ex-quarterback. Tew is by the book. Clark is the loose cannon who plays by his own rules. As much as the service academy would allow.
BYU: Like so many second banana's, it takes adversity for their opportunity to shine. After Harvey Unga left school, there's an opportunity for carries. The best choice? JJ De Luigi. And if you need me to explain why he is the perfect second banana running back name, I will tell you to kindly go fuck yourself. Kindly.
Colorado State: I was going to talk about Mychal Sisson's quality defense in terms of launching himself into ballcarriers. But I paged through The Sporting News College Football Preview. It named Pete Kontodiakos the biggest underachiever in the Mountain West. He's the Rams Punter. Can you see why this is hilarious to me?
New Mexico: Now, I've made plenty of mention on how the "Boy named Sue" has made inroads at running back. But did you know that the Lobos have it at linebacker? It's true! Carmen Messina led college football with 162 tackles as the team was kind of bad. He returns. And the defensive line may allow him more free reign.
San Diego State: The Aztecs get a hope spot. As last year, Ryan Lindley was getting hit and hit hard by defenses last year. And he managed a 55% completion rate and a positive TD-INT ratio. This year? 4 starters on the offensive line and a solid junior college recruit should protect Lindley better. As such, the Atzecs should get better for it.
TCU: Just like you want a quarterback named Cannon, you would want a linebacker named Tank. And in Tank Carder, the Horned Frogs have themselves someone downright beastly in the middle of the field. He's the returning leader in tackles, tackles for loss, and in an ironic twist of fate? Pass breakups.
UNLV: I'm always convinced that someone who ends their names with two consecutive consonants, unless it's something acceptable like Bill or Glenn, will go through life with a chip on their shoulder. Starr Fuimaono is the sort of man built to play middle linebacker. And if he stays healthy? His tackles number could get doubled very easily.
Utah: Eddie Wide is the starting running back with an ironic name. Why? Because the an is simply and positively svelte in terms of running back size. Get it? He's fast and the back-up is wide! The fact you think this joke is unfunny is the reason why the Utes are joining the Pac-10. That and the money. More the money.
Wyoming: The spread offense is something where the quality of the quarterback dictates the quality of play. And for the Cowboys? Austyn Carta-Samuels led Wyoming to a bowl victory last year with little more than pluck and a dude named Alvester playing wingman. This year, Austyn has the opportunity to consolidate his skill set and grow his brand.



Pacific-10
Arizona: Considering the tomfoolery coming home to roost of the top two programs? There's an opening for the Wildcats getting in on the Rose Bowl. They have a spectacular pass rusher in Ricky Elmore, a shut down cornerback in Trevin Wade, and a talented arm in Nick Foles. If Nic Grigsby stays healthy? They've got a chance at something special.
Arizona State: Vontaze Burfict is a bad man. If you're looking for a man who will be voted most likely to knock a sucker the fuck out? Burfict is perfect. There doesn't seem to be much else here? But Burfict will get Arizona State on SportsCenter at least one Saturday Night.
California: The chain of crazy numbers put up by the Golden Bears running game since Jeff Tedford's arrival has been underrated. From J.J. Arrington to Marshawn Lynch to Justin Forsett to Jahvid Best? The Bears have always had quality on the ground game. Shane Vereen? He's going to maintain the lineage.
Oregon: One could politely call the off-season of the Ducks adventurous. Mention Jeremiah Masoli to one Dan Rubenstein and chuckle at his involuntary flinch. But the fact remains (at least as of this writing) they still have LaMichael James. But you have Lache Seastrunk if James can't cool out. I may just root for Seastrunk on the principle of awesome names alone.
Oregon State: There's really nothing else beyond the sequel to the Rodgers brothers. These are tiny men who allow the Beavers to matriculate the ball down the field. And they are awesome. They just need a quarterback to manage the game and provide aid and comfort to the Rodgers. Ryan Katz may not be a doctor, but he just might be the proper therapist.
Stanford: You may not realize it when you consider that Stanford spent most of the Aught's in the wilderness and their one professional draftee turned out to be Trent Edwards, but Stanford's been a place where good quarterbacks have emerged. Andrew Luck has a chance to rebuild the lineage. With 4 returning starters on the offensive line and a deep and solid receiving corps, Toby Gerhart's graduation may not hurt the offense nearly as much as one would think.
UCLA: Kevin Prince has an opportunity to sneak into the radar screens of drafters, draftniks, and general fans of college football, Nick Foles style. He has four returning linemen and two pretty good receivers in Nelson Rosario and Taylor Embree. I know it's not going to inspire much love from this entree, but that's something I know Rick Neuheisel has to bet on.
USC: Suddenly, Lane Kiffin gets to do an impression of Terry Bowden at Auburn. Because this is still a tremendously talented team with a strong amount of youth energy. Dillon Baxter is someone you need to believe the hype in. But if they don't go anywhere, will they give a damn in a conference where suddenly anyone believes they can make a dream run? Lane Kiffin may be good at things, but motivation is not be one of them.
Washington: Jake Locker has probably cost himself something around 20 million dollars with his decision to return and attempt to be the minor circuit champion of the Pac-10. Though it would surprise me if he doesn't improve his numbers. Chris Polk emerged as a quality running back, and the receivers and line are deep and experienced as well. It's a difficult schedule, but they'll get a well-deserved bowl game out of it.
Washington State: Here's the thing? Washington State may not be completely terrible. They have 9 returning starters from an offense that broke badly last year. It should improve. But their defensive line has a real chance to be strong like bull. 4 returning starters and experienced depth behind them. And Paul Wulff loves the linebacking corps. It may not get them to a bowl game, but it may not be an easy W, here.



Southeastern
Alabama: Marcell Dareus may not have been necessary to win the national championship, but he sure did help. If he didn't seperate the shoulder of a goofy looking motherfucker like Colt McCoy, they wouldn't have had to force a true freshman to climb out of such an insurmountable hole. Football is a violent game, and Dareus will break some fools again next year.
Arkansas: Arkansas returns ten starters on offense. Not just the chill bro cannon arm of Ryan Mallett. Not just two big power backs in Broderick Green and Ronnie Wingo. Not just all linemen besides the right guard. Not just a deep, talented, and tough receiving corps. (Joe Adams didn't let a STROKE end his season). Everybody.
Auburn: Cameron Newton once bumped hips with Tim Tebow in celebration of a beat down of some random non-conference strange. He has since found his way through the shadows and into the light of the plains. There's a real scenario where the Tigers are going to get to the Iron Bowl unbeaten. And it will come from the physical gifts of Cam Effin' Newton.
Florida: The strength this year? Speed. Pure badass American speed. Chris Rainey and Jeff Demps will start and be home run threats. And Andre Debose may be a better player and athlete. Add Mike Gillislee's athleticism and Steve Addazio may add a fly sweep to his QB Dive and Y Stick.
Georgia: It's not an automatic guarantee that a talented 4-3 defensive end is going to rock as a 3-4 OLB. But Georgia has a very interesting talent who's making the transition. Justin Houston is the SEC's returning leader in sacks. He comes correct in 2010 and a lot of defensive worries get solved.
Kentucky: I was lucky, I had never made mention of Randall Cobb's versatile weapon based awesomeness. And he's a force of nature and he will win at least two games by himself this year. It's a necessary thing, at least until Mister Cobble and Qua Hizzle are ready for battle.
LSU: The obvious rap song reference to LSU is Aesop Rock's "None Shall Pass." The secondary from LSU is deadly. Morris Claiborne's cat-like agility is strong enough to move Jai Eugene to safety. Brandon Taylor has been great at Strong Safety. And lest we forget Pat Peterson. Nobody's gonna throw on them.
Mississippi: Mississippi always has a strong defensive line. That's why the Admiral Akbar as mascot meme has failed. Jerrell Powe and Kentrell Lockett are jocks. Star Wars fans are their natural enemies. One drunken night in Oxford? They walked right in a trap and walked out unscathed.
Mississippi State: Not since A Christmas Story had family dogs upsetting Darren McGavin's shit have we seen a Bumphis finding a way to wreak havoc. Chad Bumphis has the skills to get open and the athleticism to take balls to the house. A quarterback gets the ball to him, and it's not a question of maybe. He will be awesome.
South Carolina: He may be the #2 receiver in terms of looks and perception, but you know what? Tori Gurley's name is infinitely better at being mocked than an Alshon Jeffrey. You know I wouldn't have the guts to do it to his face, but he's a big wideout with a lady name. It's all upside in Gamecock nation.
Tennessee: They may not be in a position to start fast, but this is a team that has some real interesting skill position talent. Gerald Jones is the leader of a veteran receiving corp that helped rehabilitate Jonathan Crompton from catfish to a draftable quarterback. He has another challenge to lead this year. Add in Tauren Poole stepping into the Volunteer running back factory? And this team could finish fast.
Vanderbilt: If you've come this far, you know that I am a fan of bloodlines. You also know that I am a shameless (if not pensive) homer. So when I heard that Vanderbilt, whose quarterbackery last year was...sketchy, shall we say, went the JC route to get a prospect named Jordan Rodgers. AND HE'S RELATED TO AARON RODGERS. Vanderbilt has somebody to love. Done.

Sun Belt
Arkansas State: With the recruiting of Dwayne Frampton, the Red Wolves look to come alive offensively. You have a veteran offensive line and an interesting battle at quarterback between Ryan Aplin and Phillip Butterfield. Whoever wins has a team on the verge of being very interesting.

An aside? How dare Phillip Butterfield accept a number other than 8?

Florida Atlantic: If you're looking for a strong safety, you don't normally look toward a man listed at 5'9" and 161 pounds. But then again? Marcus Bartels is not most men. With a gashed defensive line? Bartels was the last line of defense. And he navigated with style and aplomb.
FIU: He may not be listed as the #1 on the depth chart at present, but you have to respect Toronto Smith. One, it allows Bill Simmons to make a reference to Teen Wolf, and you know that's never happened before. Two, he's the returning leader in sacks and tackles for loss. And three? His parents named him after a Canadian city. That's awesome.
LA Lafayette: It may sound crazy, but in the world where the move tight end that spreads the field is in vogue in the NFL? The Ragin' Cajuns may have a legitimate NFL Prospect. He's LaDarius Green, and it may just be from one play, but the dude caught a 91 yard TD pass. If he has a good year, do not be surprised to see him drafted in Round 3.
LA Monroe: An inexperienced line may tamper expectations, but the Warhawks have one of the best in the Sun Belt with Frank Goodin. He runs hard and he runs angry. He just needs a little Junior College magic to get back to previous levels.
Middle Tennessee: I try to avoid sequels. So I will only mention Dwight Dasher in passing. He operated at peak efficiency because he had lighting named DD Kyles at tailback. He gets the thunder of Phillip Tanner coming back as well. Favorites of the Sun Belt? Absolutely.
North Texas: Names with lyricism are awesome. Names that you could break out a bad NBA Public Address announcer? Just beautiful. The Mean Green's best pass rusher fits both of these qualifications. David Akpunku. Try it. Ak-Puuuuuuuuuuuuunk-u! Awesome.
Troy: Now, the urge to make a Chitty Chitty Bang Bang joke in celebration of hotshot recruit B.J. Chitty is strong. But I will fight it. And I will fight making a Sidney Moncrief reference in relation to Brett Moncrief. Why? The double Double J's. Josh Jarboe is the man good enough to get a scholarship to Oklahoma. Jerrel Jernigan is the reliable target with angry skills in terms of kick returns.
Western Kentucky: It may not be an easy road for the Red Drank to crawl out of last seasons wreckage. But the cupboard is not completely bare. If you consider how consistently the defensive line was gashed last year? Thomas Majors managed 101 tackles. He now has a tag team's worth of beef protecting him. It's a long road back, but they'll take the next step.

Western Athletic
Boise State: Point of fact? The lovely and talented writer of whose that you see in front of you hates memes. They're hacky and no good joke usually comes out of them. This means I kind of have to root against Boise State early on. Talk of Boise as BCS Champion sounds as painful to me as the spiciest piece of Flying Pie pizza. (But if they get there? I won't be rooting for an upset.)
Fresno State: Robbie Rouse may not be a trendsetter because his is the name of a dude. But he is adorably Quinton Griffin sized. And with the graduation of Ryan Matthews and Lonyae Miller? He has the entire field to himself for run game purposes. And the line that got Matthews to the 1st Round in the NFL draft? Returns everybody.
Hawaii: The Rainbow Warriors have three quality pieces at wideout. And none of them are adorably gritty like Davone Bess either. Darius Bright is the hotshot recruit with very intriguing triangle numbers. (6'5" 225 4.47) Mark Salas is the 6'2" guy who came up from being a walk-on to grabbing 106 balls last year. And Kealoha Pilares is a pass catcher who can turn into a running back when he gets the ball in space. Never mind week one. This team can be good.
Idaho: The one bit of good news that came out of last season was that a nation of college football fans discovered that Idaho head coach Robb Akey was actually pretty awesome. Sweet shades, a cool mustache, and the voice of a jazzman. This team may be underestimated again, but the fact that they recruited Pat Forde's superhero alter-ego Maxx Forde proves that they are not to be forgotten. (A beefy O-line in a mid-major also helps too.)
Louisiana Tech: Ross Jenkins is what someone would consider to be the luckiest boy in America. He was an efficient and generally solid thrower under the Derek Dooley regime. He gets to be the wheelman for the air raid offense. Or it could be Auburn transfer and spring practice ace Steven Emsinger. Either way? They have a potentially special receiver in Phillip Livas.
Nevada: In the insane offensive numbers that the Wolfpack can pull up on the ground? They had a three headed monster of thousand yard rushers. With the graduation of Luke Lippincott? Vai Taua suddenly has a chance to take a chokehold on the time share. 1,500 yards rushing may only be his floor. Also? Vai is a girls name. So you have to love that.
New Mexico State: Not for nothing, but there is something to build on here. Seth Smith is a nondescript name for a thousand yard rusher. And when you consider how successful the passing game was (6 TD/17 INT), Smith had a tremendous season. And the Aggies can roll out a quality pass rush as well with Pierre Fils and Donte Savage. They're kind of like Hawaii. They won't be dominant, but they should be quite improved.
San Jose State: In history, Pompey was named an emperor in the Roman triumvirate because he was an easy mark. Now while I am clearly mixing my metaphors by invoking Rome with Spartan matters, Pompey Festejo is not a man to be trifled with. He is a bad, bad man.
Utah State: Robert Turbin was a sophomore who one could deem unjinxed. At least until the kid tore his ACL in February. So, the Aggies turn their lonely eyes once again to Diandre Borel. He had a nice year last year. If the line makes something out of the fact that they're experienced? He will be great again.

So there you go. 120 teams. All up in here. College football is coming. And it's gonna be fun.

The Weekday Defensive Tackles.

I'm going to make a bold statement or two here. Know that this is gutsball. It's a deep class in terms of value. And as such? Surprises are bound to happen. But I'm calling bust on a likely top five pick. Bam!

1. Ndamukong Suh Nebraska (If he's available by pick #3, somebody screwed up. The House of Spears is a beast.)
2. Gerald McCoy Oklahoma (An inconsistent motor and poor hand placement means he's got a real chance to be a busted pick.)
3. Dan Williams Tennessee (Kind of a Ron Brace. He's a one thrust and hold at the point of attack guy.)
4. Jared Odrick Penn State (An immeadiate contributor of a 3-4 DE.)
5. Brian Price UCLA (He could be everything McCoy claims to be. A deadly inside pass rusher with pretty good skills everywhere else.)
6. Terrence Cody Alabama (All he has to do is hold at the point of attack to be effective. Anything else? Gravy.)
7. Lamarr Houston Texas (Late bloomer, but he can be a real beast at the point of attack.)
8. Linval Joesph ECU (Daniel Jeremiah's sleeper 1st round pick. Eye-popping athleticism with less power than expected.)
9. Torrell Troup UCF (A bit of a sleeper. Big and strong with a real motor. The anchor of a top run defense with two 10 sack defensive ends.)
10. Cam Thomas North Carolina (The big guy without the strongest motor. But he can hold up at the POA.)
11. Al Woods LSU (A beast with the bull rush. The instincts are not so much.)
12. Corey Peters Kentucky (A big athletic Defensive Tackle who was a 4 year starter in the SEC? Valuable. But he's probably a 4th rounder.)

The Weekday Outside Linebackers

Another deep position. A lot of good depth here. Some guys are 3-4 specialists. In fact? You can get something great if you're in a 3-4 and you need help on defense. And you don't even need to overpay for a Kindle.

Toys humor! Yay!

1. Brandon Graham Michigan (High motor, great instincts, a practically perfect 3-4 OLB.)
2. Sergio Kindle Texas (A game-changer in the 3-4. He's simply explosive.)
3. Sean Witherspoon Missouri (Undersized? Yeah. But everything else is great. He's an instant linebacker starter.)
4. Jerry Hughes TCU (He's a great athlete with good football skills. The problem? He gets picked up too often. A big issue.)
5. Koa Misi Utah (More of a defensive end. Kind of like Paul Kreuger. Stiff in coverage, but he can rush the passer.)
6. Jason Worlids Virginia Tech (He lacks a little something in instincts, but he hits hard and runs fast. One of those tailor made 3-4 Outside Linebackers.)
7. Thaddeus Gibson Ohio State (More of a run stuffer than a pass rusher, but he's a strong 3-4 OLB. He does need a little more in terms of instincts.)
8. Eric Norwood South Carolina (The SEC's answer to Ricky Sapp.)
9. Ricky Sapp Clemson (His value is almost solely as a pass rusher. Other than that? Never mind.)
10. Navorro Bowman Penn State (Stiff in coverage, but with his instincts and other skills, he's a strong 4-3 Will or 3-4 ILB.)
11. Dekoda Watson Florida State (Kind of like everyone else who grades in the 2nd-3rd Round. His athleticism is greater than his instincts.).
12. O' Brien Schofield Wisconsin (Even after he tore his ACL at the Senior Bowl, his upside remains dtrong enough that a 3rd round pick wouldn't be too much of a reach.)

The Weekday Tackles

Allow me to get my homer hat on. I'm glad this class is deep. It will help my local professional football team grow. As such? I will make a draft nerd post of my last Packers thought exercise. How deep is left tackle?

1. Russell Okung Oklahoma State (A ready made pass protector, but he's an imperfect run blocker. Still a Top 5 pick.)
2. Trent Williams Oklahoma (The combine seemed to answer questions about his quickness at LT. And as such? He could be a Top 8 Pick.)
3. Bryan Bulaga Iowa (He's got some durability issues, but otherwise? He's got real skills. He could be an instant starter.)
4. Anthony Davis Rutgers (The motor is inconsistent. But he's improved every year in college. And he's still just 20. If he's falling, some team has a sleeper.)
5. Charles Brown USC (He's rising because of his frame and athleticism. But he does not have great power. That being said? He's sans power. And that's...not good.)
6. Rodger Saffold Indiana (Needs a year of seasoning, but there's a lot to like about him.)
7. Bruce Campbell Maryland (As spectacular of an athlete as he is, his technique is like steak tartar.)
8. Jared Veldheer Hillsdale (MI) (A lot to like here. He's an unspectacular run blocker. But he's a natural athlete and pass blocker.)
9. John Jerry Ole Miss (Great bloodines. Great power. Probably has to move inside to guard.)
10. Ed Wang Virginia Tech (He's rising because his one weakness is in his footwork. But that's still why I don't trust him.)
11. Selvish Capers West Virginia (Great upside, but he's very much a project for the team that will draft him.)

The Weekday DE.

The thing about defensive end is the reemergence of the 3-4 as a viable form of defense. Some guys I list here will be an Outside Linebacker. Some guys at OLB may end up as a 4-3 DE. But this is a deep and strong class. You need pass rush? You could hit it big here.

1. Derrick Morgan Georgia Tech (A powerful threat as a 4-3 DE who may be a Franchise 3-4 OLB.)
2. Jason Pierre-Paul So. Florida (He's got spectacular physical skills and a great motor. But that being said? He may play too fast. Athleticism without control leads to a draft bust status. Is he going to be another JUCO Bust? Maybe.)
3. Everson Griffen USC (He's got great physical skills, but no motor.)
4. Carlos Dunlap Florida (The East Coast Everson Griffen)
5. Tyson Alualu California (A strong and physically gifted 3-4 DE with a waxing and waning motor.)
6. Alex Carrington Arkansas State (The mid-major Carlos Dunlap.)
7. Corey Wooton Northwestern (A strong, physical 3-4 DE with a more consistent motor than Tyson Alualu.)
8. Austen Lane Murray State (Killed it in the FBS for a bad Murray State team. He's got room to grow into a 3-4 Defensive End.)
9. Brandon Lang Troy (He may not have the power to be a truly great 4-3 DE, but in a 3-4 system? He's a second round sleeper. He loves to attack the ball carrier.)
10. Greg Hardy Ole Miss (If he wasn't Mr. Glass? He would be the #1 Defensive end off the board. And I love Morgan.)
11. Jermane Cunningham Florida (A bit of a tweener in aspects beyond the pass rush, but in terms of pure pass rush? He's got a good motor.)

The Weekday Safeties.

Let me tell you this. There are two great Free Safeties that you'll see in the first round. One might try to be converted to be a corner. It would be a mistake. Let's see if you can figure it out, eh?

1. Eric Berry Tennessee (Believe the hype. His center field skills are spectacular.)
2. Taylor Mays USC (He'd be the greatest SS in a 3-3-5 defense. A physical killer. But there's no instincts.)
3. Earl Thomas Texas (As a Free safety? He could turn into a third corner.)
4. Nate Allen So. Florida (A strong ballhawk, but his aggression gets him burnt in space with the tackling and whatnot.)
5. Morgan Burnett Georgia Tech (A lot to like with his physical skills. Poor guy has a tendency to disappear however.)
6. Kendrick Lewis Ole Miss (He reminds me a lot of Atari Bigby and I mean it as a complement.)
7. Reshad Jones Georgia (A typical Bulldog hitter who can get posted and toasted.)
8. Major Wright Florida (The bizarro Taylor Mays. Great instincts. A physical killer. Poor athleticism.)

Weekday Selections: Cornerback.

A deep class? You bet your ass. Value for every style of defense? Absofuckinglutely. My sort of halfassery? Yeah!

1. Joe Haden Florida (Never mind the poor 40 time. He plays that fast in pads.)
2. Kyle Wilson Boise State (He has unpolished skills, but he can simply just shut people down when he's right.)
3. Devin McCourty Rutgers (A poor man-to man corner, but he's a ballhawk stud in a Cover 2 system.)
4. Patrick Robinson Florida State (He's got some spectacular skills, but he can get lazy.)
5. Kareem Jackson Alabama (A tough man to man corner with great athleticism as well as good instincts.)
6. Chris Cook Virginia (Great size-speed ratio, good ball skills, but he seems to be more of a free safety.)
7. Brandon Ghee Wake Forest (An agressive corner with poor ball skills.)
8. Jerome Murphy So. Florida (Got to love that he plays with a chip on his shoulder. But he does have a tendency to get burnt by his agression.)
9. Dominique Franks Oklahoma (Great physicality. Good ball skills. But he's got some discipline problems.)
10. Akwasi Owasu-Ansah Indiana (Pa.) (A 6'1" guy with 4.32 speed, good ball skills and great return skills. You can punch anyone who asks who? in the face if your team drafts him.)
11. Amari Spievey Iowa (A Cover 2 Corner, a solid nickelback. But is he a starter?)
12. Perrish Cox Oklahoma State (His return skills and good college production still seem to keep him in Day 2 despite his postseason interview fail.)
13. Javier Arenas Alabama (Undersized. A step slow. But his instincts and return skills add a real value to his game. And who are you to doubt an Arenas?)

Interior Line on the Weekdays.

Guards and Centers are boring, but I'm going to do it. So yeah. Eat it hypothetical reader. The interior line? Will have two real prospects going in round one. One in round two to three. And two are reaches. We'll discuss this further.

 Centers
1. Maurkice Pouncey Florida (If healthy? 10 year starter and a Pro Bowl mastermind.)
2. Matt Tennant Boston College (He's a zone blocker with a good mean streak.)

Guards
1. Mike Iupati Idaho (If he refines his technique? He's the Guard Maurkice Pouncey.)
2. Jon Asomah Illinois (Great value. He's a second round instant starter for a guard. Plug and play.)
3. Vladimir Ducasse UMass (Physically gifted, but his technique is raw. Give him a year of seasoining.)

Tight Ends to be taken on the weekdays...

The Tight End this year? While there are some safeish picks? This position feels more like a Boom-Bust scenario. Upside plays and injury risks dot the Top 10.

1. Jermaine Gresham Oklahoma (An explosive Aaron Hernandez, if his knee is right.)
2. Rob Gronskowski Arizona (He could legitimately be a Top 5 tight end in the league if his back's right. But it isn't.)
3. Aaron Hernandez Florida (A great pass-catcher, marginal blocker, poor explosiveness.)
4. Ed Dickson Oregon (Vertical threat with pretty good hands, good strength. Could improve blocking.)
5. Jimmy Graham Miami (FL) (As upside goes? Massive. He's not gonna be another Rickey Dudley. But will he be another Antonio Gates? Nah.)
6. Anthony McCoy USC (Not just another blocking tight end. He does have hands. However? No explosiveness.)
7. Dennis Pitta BYU (Catchers everything. Gets open. Cannot block to save a life.)

Inside Linebackers Day 1; 2: 140 Character Essence.

The middle linebacker is kind of a dying art. Granted, a 3-4 linebacker does have several aspects of the MIKE. But last year only two MLB's were drafted in the first day. This year? There's probably not going to be more than four. If Donald Butler goes Day 2? Spikes goes into Saturday undrafted.

1. Rolando McClain Alabama (A practically perfect two-down linebacker...who could grow up to be A.J. Hawk.)
2. Sean Lee Penn State (Kind of like Posluzny. Injury prone but spectacular when he gets on the field.)
3. Daryl Washington TCU (Probably more of a next level Weakside LB, but he could sneak into the end of round one with his skills Nick Barnett style.)
4. Brandon Spikes Florida (A poor Senior season and pro day make him a third round steal.)

A Twitter-Sized Breakdown: Day 1 and Day 2 at WR

If you look at the Wide Receiver position? You're going to see a run on these players on Friday. Obviously, Dez Bryant is going to be the first one off the board. And Demaryius Thomas has the physical gifts to drop between 21 and 32. But there will be at least seven guys selected in rounds 2 and 3. And most of that is Round 3 choices as well. I put the over under at 6.5 wideouts taken round three. Boom

So, in 140 characters? The top 12 WR's.

1. Dez Bryant Oklahoma State (Physically gifted. Great hands. But he's not nearly mature enough. Denver's an obvious choice.)
2. Demaryius Thomas Georgia Tech (Toolsy. Tremendous upside. Great hands. Great after the catch. If he learns the route tree?)
3. Golden Tate Notre Dame (Hyperproductive in a pro-style offense. A bit of Percy Harvin in him.)
4. Arrelious Benn Illinois (Could be a real steal. Kind of like Vontae Davis in that he has Zooker taint on him. But his skills are undeniable.)
5. Damian Williams USC (Good route runner, reliable hands, but who gives a fuck? He's a USC WR. Cursed!)
6. Mardy Gilyard Cincinnati (Quicks. Great hands. Ready made slot WR. He's kind of like a Hines Ward.)
7. Eric Decker Minnesota (Smart. Polished. One of the highest floors in terms of prospectdom. Great hands. Sleeperish.)
8. Carlton Mitchell USF (The antethesis of Decker. His strength is in his triangle numbers. Inconsistent hands and minimal numbers.)
9. Brandon LaFell LSU (Inconsitent hands and poor quarterback play doomed the preseason #1 WR. Reminds me of Kenny Britt.)
10. Taylor Price Ohio (Bit of a finesse guy. But he's got a lot of skills. You get him on your team round three? Thrilled.)
11. Andre Roberts The Citadel (Reminds me of Hines Ward. Gets open and off the line. Elusive at returns. Willing blocker.)
12. Jacoby Ford Clemson (His strength? Speed. Pure badass American Speed.)

The First Three Rounds at Running Back?

There's a lot to be interested in here. Someone of this group is going to be a gamechanger. And someone of this group is going to be the focus of all fantasy owners who want to start a white guy at running back. See if you can tell who's who.

1. C.J. Spiller Clemson (I like C.J. Spiller. His worst case scenario is as a Jamaal Charles. But he does have a real chance to be a Chris Johnsonesque game changer, especially when you consider the fact that he was at his best all the while suffering from turf toe.)
2. Ryan Matthews Fresno State (Hyperproductive. He has a nose for the goal line, and he wasn't completely an issue of level either. He had good games against two Big Ten and a Big East team as well as his legendary 19-234-3 line vs. Boise State. He's a slasher with the worst case scenario is Ryan Grant. Nothing wrong with growing up to be Ryan Grant.)
3. Jahvid Best Cal (Here's the thing. Chris Johnson needed the bowl game his senior year to have a year with 200 carries. Now? He's the greatest running back ever of the moment. Jahvid Best is similar, maybe with a little less patience inside, but someone's going to draft him in the first round, and they'll be thrilled. He runs like a Dragonforce guitar solo.)
4. Jonathan Dwyer Georgia Tech (I see him as a Shonn Greene with softer hands. He has great power and deceptive speed. He's kind of failed the draft interview process. But he's got the sort of skills where he can be more than just a short-yardage runner.)
5. Toby Gerhart Stanford (I'm going to blow the mind of the draftnik community. Here's my comparison for Gerhart. Shonn Greene. Great power. Okay speed. No hands. There you go.)
6. Ben Tate Auburn (I don't trust him. He's a stiff, upright runner, who plays below his timed speed. He was strong last season under the Malzahm system. But that's not the sort of offense he's going to see in the pros, is it? He does have value, but I'd wait until Round 4-Round 5.)
7. Montario Hardesty Tennessee (If he's healthy, he can be quite spectacular. The problem, of course is that he has never been truly healthy. He runs like an upright Clinton Portis. And while a new generation Kid Bro Sweets is worth your time, will he be another Chris Brown?)
8. Dexter McCluster Ole Miss (This is the sort of player that a smart team can make into a David Palmerish weapon. Wildcat QB, Sweeps, Screens, Returns. Give him 15 touches a game and he will make at least one game turning play. If you just have him returning kicks? You're wasting time.)
9. Joe McKnight USC (If I was a GM, I would draft him for the express purpose of making him a Wide Receiver, because he reminds me of an undersized Darren McFadden. The obvious comparison is Reggie Bush and I can see it. Make him a Percy Harvin and it's first round skill in terms of third round value.)

The Film Student Breakdown of Texas-Texas Tech.

You know me. I like movies. I also have this nascent idea that I'm going to write a movie someday. So, for my own personal practice. And because I think this will at least be interesting, if not funny. I will attempt to set a narrative for this game.

We shall call this game Guns Up. It will be the story of a plucky quarterback thrust into the spotlight against an evil empire. In this instance? Texas will be a lietmotif for...the onslaught of Republican anger? No. Texas Tech has that sort of boisterous energy playing fast and loose with the facts with a lesser amount of talent.

So then, what will the Longhorns represent? Yes! The Longhorns represent the rigid corporate structure. Their team is something like a factory, attempting to develop people for a professional career. On the other hand? You look at the Red Raiders and they represent a rugged individualism. Spread 'em and shred 'em right? Right.

And of course, we need a Protagonist for this. An antihero who doesn't seem to have a future at the next level. But you need someone with a real mental toughness and some wacky facial hair. So, obviously, the main character in guns up? Taylor Potts.


I mean, look at this photo. He has the mustache of an antihero. (H/T: EDSBS/link's at the photo)

The Nemesis for this job is the heir to the Longhorn Throne. Will Muschamp. Now, I'm sure he's a gentleman and good to his family and friends in real life, but for my purposes, he beat Bryan Orakpo upside the head and shoulders for insolence and killed Blake Gideon's dog for costing Texas the National Championship game.


Because at present? He is the Diet Coke of evil.

The Mentor is as obvious as the fact that he is going to have to die to make this storyline work. He is a pirate loving, stupid powerful offensive mind, give you sound dating advice, and unafraid to make any powerful organization angry toward him because he knows man. He knows. He's a guru. He's a shaman. He's Charlie fuckin' Kelly. That's Mike Leach.


And as he told the Franchione, if you strike me down I will come back stronger than you can possibly imagine.

The Attractor? The survivng member of the Big 12 conference college of awesome from 2008. Colt McCoy. He's the front man for the corprate entity that wishes to enchroach on the state of play in college football, and he is the George Bush to Will Muschamp's Dick Cheney. Taylor Potts has to be the mustachoied Barack Obama.

(Come on. If it's a movie, it has to be stridently liberal.)


And look at this photo. That is the Democratic Vision of the average Republican. H-HYUCK!

And who is your Trickster? Often times in cinema, you have a mentor who also portrays the role of a trickster. And if someone who says “We’re going to treat (the next three games) all dramatically differently, and there will be all kinds of interesting little twists and nuances that we’ll do to each individual one to dignify it for its importance that exists in the overall scheme of the universe. There’ll be dramatic differences, and throughout the course of that deal, I’ll enjoy talking about it in length.” You know that the Mentor archetype is also a trickster. Mike Leach is your dual archetype. And he has to die.

All has to be lost in Guns Up. All has to be lost for our hero to be redeemed. So barring the tragic circumstances of a head coach dying before his time? This is going to have one of those endings nobody's going to understand. But Peter Travers is going to call it visually arresting.

Halladay...Celebrate.

That's what some lazy punster of a headline writer will say if and when Roy Halladay gets traded. Because his will be the game changer deal of the free agency. So, because we can't trust J.P. Riccardi to make a good decision? I will tell you what teams would be the best fits.

5. Milwaukee

The Brewers have interesting pieces, but with such a dearth of pitching prospects and the double and triple swearing that Alcides Escobar and Mat Gamel are untouchable and the fact that you would just add to an outfield logjam with Corey Hart, I just don't see them developing a package to wrest Halladay.

4. Los Angeles Angels
Best Likely Package: Peter Bourjos, Brandon Wood, and Jose Arrendondo

Why they would be a good fit? Because these are propsects who have a tremendous pedigree. Wood and Arrendondo would be instant big league impact, and Bourjos would be ready for when Wells and or Rios would be gone.
Why would they not? Because for an organization that had such a wide and varied array of super prospects in the middle of the decade? The impact has proven to be minimal.

3. Boston
Best Likely Package: Clay Buchholz, Manny Delacarmen, and Lars Anderson

Why they would they be a good fit? Because the only piece that the Sox truly might miss here is Lars Anderson. If they trusted Buchholz, he'd be a big leaguer right now. And many in Boston like Delacarmen but many also feel his best chance is somewhere else. So despite the division issue, they can make a deal.
Why they would not? The division thing. If the Jays contend in 2010? Halladay will stop them. And rumors out of St. Louis are that no prospect is off the table. And there are some in the Sox have no interest.

2. Philadelphia
Best Likely Package: Carlos Carrasco, Jason Donald, and Michael Taylor

Why would they be a good fit? Jason Donald may have been off to a bad start in Triple-A, but injury explains that. And Carlos Carrasco is rallying in triple-A. That means two instant starters. Michael Taylor causes a bit of a logjam, but they have time to swing a deal if there's a problem.
Why they would not? The Phillies don't have a third prospect with the right mixture of skill and expendability. They could get another catching prospect or a Low-A dude with tools. But they would have to part with a Drabek or a Taylor to get Halladay.

1. St. Louis
Best Likely Package: Brett Wallace, Daryl Jones, Jason Motte, and Jess Todd

Why they would be a good fit? Because Brett Wallace is a professional hitter, and Daryl Jones reminds me a lot of Michael Brantley. Jason Motte is a power arm who should close by 2010. And if he can't? Jess Todd can. I know the story may be apocryphal, but the Cardinals really want Halladay.
Why they would not? Two possibilities. The DeRosa trade may mean a piece that the Jays would want would be going to Cleveland. Two, someone else blows them away with an offer. The Phillies can knock their block off prospect-wise and the Rangers could swing for the fences, damn the owners financial scenario.

So, will we see Halladay get dealt? Yes. Will it make me feel bad? Very likely. But hey, that's how it goes in the Wild Wild West.

Jerel McNeal: The second round pick who could steal hearts and minds...

Now, in the search for making a series? I found something out. There’s not much for the two guard. Really. I mentioned Jack McClinton. And I believe he’s going to be good.

But you know what? Jerel McNeal will be great. He will be drafted in the second round, and he will have seasons where, at the very least, Free Darko will sing his praises.

Why? I will break it down simply. Succintly.

1) His game is all-around golden.

Let me tell you what Jerel McNeal needs to work on. Off-ball defense. That’s it. Anything else is nitpicking. He hits the three, with a solid mid-range game. He passes well for a two-guard. He locks down his man. You want more?

2) The steal/foul didatic.

In a way? The steal is kind of like the NBA’s version of the strike zone. Or the stolen base. Look. It’s nice to have a guy who can get three steals per game. But if they get in foul trouble? They’re as useless as Alvin Robertson.

Jerel McNeal went from a freshman that gambled entirely too much to a senior who, while he does not have a red number under his fouls committed on Kenpom.com, has become at the very least competent at avoiding foul trouble because he gets too grabby.

3) Intangibles.

You want a college basketball player with a motor. Someone who can’t get fired up when he’s doing it for free will be even more of a dog when he turns pro. You have a 6′3″ two-guard who’s had to defend some of the best in basketball and developed a reputation as a stopper. You have a 6′3″ two-guard who’s just started to create his own shot with a general aplomb.

Put it this way. If he was 6′6″, he’d be threating to kiss the lottery. If he was 6′6″? He would not shock the world. But people are going to sleep on Jerel McNeal.

But I’m not. He’s going to win.

What do we know about the Pac-10?

West Coast? It's Pretty Good in the hood. There isn't 27 teams on the A-List like the Big East. But believe in it.

1. Arizona State (James Harden are who we though he was! Also? These kids can shoot. Really well.)
2. UCLA (Jrue Holiday has proven himself a playmaker, but Michael Roll is what interests me. He rolls better from beyond the arc than for two...or at the line? He so crazy!)
3. Washington (Justin Dentman has a job to do. He needs to teach Isaiah Thomas all he knows. It will be his team next year.)
4. Stanford (They zone. Like a lot. Also? Anthony Goods has taken this team on his back.)
5. Cal (Jerome Randle is silky smooth at the point. He rolls and the team rolls. He has an off night? And the team becomes Epic Fail.)
6. Washington State (A great defense, to be sure. But there is something off about this team. Is it Taylor Rochestie's inability to protect the ball? Is it the Freshman leading the offense? This can be a good team. But there is a flaw in the diamond.)
7. Arizona (Jordan Hill needs a nickname. He's murdered the nonconference schedule. He's a great power forward, and I want to see a duel between him and Blake Griffin. Also? Chase Budinger is great at second banana.)
8. USC (Why is USC struggling? Because while Taj Gibson is rocking the low-post, DeMar DeRozan is nothing more than a sucker MC.)
9. Oregon (Why is Oregon struggling? Because TaJuan Porter is tiny and struggling. A Garrett Sim-Kamyron Brown backcourt would be better right now. Even with the tough schedule.)
10. Oregon State (The fact that they got to .500 after a an 0-4 start? It's a point for the Brobama. But is there hope for the future? Maybe. If Daniel Deane and Omari Johnson weren't a factor of their non-conference schedule.)

As we get into the Conference season, we should look to see exactly where our teams are...

And this is why we at the Grand National Championships are going to break down the teams and where they are in this world for this season.

And we will start with the Atlantic Coast Conference. Why? Because I can.

1. North Carolina (They're good at basketball. Dun dun dunnnnnh.)
2. Duke (Any good shooting team that can take care of the ball will give Duke a game.)
3. Clemson (A paper Tiger. Their weaknesses are glaring. Again.)
4. Wake Forest (Get on the bus. Their youth may be a problem this year, but next year? This is your ACC Favorite.)
5. Maryland (Can't shoot. Decent defense will keep you in it.)
6. Miami (FL) (Dwayne Collins is a salad bar of underrated badass.)
7. Boston College (Corey Raji has developed into a solid second option.)
8. Georgia Tech (Poor beyond the arc, at the line, and taking care of the ball. You need to be a Spur-level defense to handle that noise.)
9. Florida State (A pretty good defense, but if you can take away Toney Douglas? You can rampage over them.)
10. North Carolina State (Brandon Costner is back to studly, but the defense can't bring them back if it breaks bad in the first half.)
11. Virginia Tech (A.D. Vassallo and Malcom Delany have poor ball control. And that, a.k.a. Point Guard is their weakness.)
12. Virginia (Maybe it's bad times and poor memories for this season? But Mike Scott, Sammy Zeglinski, and Sylven Landesberg have hope for a tourney berth in the future.)

THE FINAL BREAKDOWN. DUN DUNH.

This is it. The game is over. My breakdown. Completed.

Wideouts. X's and Z's. The home run threats.

The tall dudes, the white guys. It's awesome. I shall finish this shit.

Sam Aiken WR New England Patriots: A once-proud sleeper, but let's be honest. He's a special teams gunner. He's good like that. But is he just here because the Belichick feels threatened?
Aundrae Allison WR Minnesota Vikings: He's an awesome return man but his pass-catching skills are a redundancy in the Twin Cities.
David Anderson WR Houston Texans: He's a special teamer with good enough skills to be a successful starter if ever he should get himself an opportunity. Andre Davis and Kevin Walter aren't exactly Cris Carter and Randy Moss.
Devin Aromashodu WR Indianapolis Colts: His last name means "Smell of the Native" in Brazzaville.
Adrian Arrington WR New Orleans Saints: Step One: Get drafted. Step two: Join the practice squad. Step 3: ???? Step 4: PROFIT!
Miles Austin WR Dallas Cowboys: An ace returner who needs to spend about two months with the Jugs gun to be a stud receiver.
Jason Avant WR Philadelphia Eagles: A shorter, slower Hank Baskett. It is what it is I guess.
Donnie Avery WR St. Louis Rams: The Rams went a-reachin' because Donnie Avery is a speed burner. That shit's uncoachable.
Dallas Baker WR Pittsburgh Steelers: Just hoping for the 5th spot. And 7th rounders can't be draft busts, so as a Florida alum, he's got that going for him.
David Ball WR New York Jets: A footnote and a trivia answer. Jerry Rice lost his records to this schmuck.
Reggie Ball WR Detroit Lions: Wow. They're trying to Antwaan Randle El any quarterback because of his blackness. His timed speed is like 4.7, right? Cut.
Hank Baskett WR Philadelphia Eagles: A big build, good blocker, and the old rule is that year three is the breakout year. There's an opportunity for the man to emerge.
Arnaz Battle WR San Francisco 49ers: Receivers go off for big years for inexplicable reasons. Arnaz Battle is the choice of Pro Football Prospectus. And it makes sense.
Ron Bellamy WR Detroit Lions: A New Orleans native who's lower ranked on his own google page than a blogger. For real.
Drew Bennett WR St. Louis Rams: Starter by default. White guy famous for three electric games with Billy Volek.
Earl Bennett WR Chicago Bears: If he had success at Vanderbilt, I would not sleep on him having success with this melange of untalented skill players in Chi city.
Bernard Berrian WR Minnesota Vikings: I shall call him Tecmo for when you drop back 20 yards and throw it up for grabs, Bernard Berrian is a Viking. Oh God.
Taye Biddle WR Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Real Name? RaTavious. Too crowded for him to earn a job in Tampa.
Jeremy Bloom WR Pittsburgh Steelers: Bode Miller laughs at the choices that he's made.
Shaun Bodiford WR Green Bay Packers: Gifted returner, solid hands, no room in Green Bay.
Anquan Boldin WR Arizona Cardinals: Anquan Boldin is playing for a new contract. Walk year players can be magical.
Marty Booker WR Chicago Bears: He's a second banana. His skills are excellent in the second banana. But Greg Camarillo outplayed him last year. And he got to Brett Farve his way back to his home team.
Dwayne Bowe WR Kansas City Chiefs: The only reason he might not be a success is because the other great rookie receiver that went to LSU fell off the cliff. But great hands and fearlessness mean he's supplanted Gonzalez as the #1 in KC.
Mark Bradley WR Chicago Bears: Seems to have lost a step after the Torn ACL that went down durning his rookie year. A Chicago-style Brandon Jones.
Deion Branch WR Seattle Seahawks: Tore his ACL in January. He can't exactly just drop back to pass Carson Palmer style. Maybe in November. Maybe.
Steve Breaston WR Arizona Cardinals: An excellent return man. His skill position skill? Mediocre.
John Broussard WR Jacksonville Jaguars: Blazing speed, but no room in the Ville means a return to the practice squad.
Reggie Brown WR Philadelphia Eagles: If he doesn't go deep, he's kind of useless. About to fall into bust city.
Isaac Bruce WR San Francisco 49ers: A venerable receiver. He still has the hands, but his speed is gone. If you think this reeks of a man who's gonna spend the end of his career playing awful in a strange uniform. You're savvy. It's Hakeem as a Raptor on a baby scale.
Antonio Bryant WR Tampa Bay Buccaneers: He's still talented, but he's still got psychological problems. But the truly great bad starters got their shit together at 27. And Bryant has similar skills. Really.
Nate Burleson WR Seattle Seahawks: He may never be a beloved starter. He will always be overpaid. But it may be time to get back in the market. Branch has a torn ACL and Bobby Engram is old enough to yell at clouds. Burleson may be passable by default.
Plaxico Burress WR New York Giants: His 2007 eliminated a lot of noise from the haters. His 2008 has contract extension noise behind it. Plaxico has been mercurial, but he's got a year when it should benefit him materially from being awesome. So he's gonna rise up and kick a little ass.
Keenan Burton WR St. Louis Rams: Good athlete, big leaper. Likely won't avoid getting hurt in camp.
Andre Caldwell WR Cincinnati Bengals: Wheels and heart and good hands and an ability to fuck himself up, injury wise. But he won the genetic lottery unlike...
Reche Caldwell WR St. Louis Rams: ...the eyes of a crackhead, inspiration for the "dumb" comedy writers on Studio 60 Brother Hubbard.
Greg Camarillo WR Miami Dolphins: Literally, the next Wes Welker. They will call him gritty. Because they are lazy.
Drew Carter WR Oakland Raiders: A huge Alvis Whitted.
Jason Carter WR Carolina Panthers: A super-slash at Texas A&M, master of practice squads in the NFL.
Tim Carter WR Houston Texans: The personification of every online poker pro. Someone in their mid-20's who will never reach their full potential.
Chris Chambers WR San Diego Chargers: Will finally achieve his true potential in a full season as the deep threat/fade target at the goal line. He'll never be the ace. But #3 pass catchers need love too.
Antonio Chatman WR Cincinnati Bengals: The drafting of three receivers means the Antonio Chatman is gonna have to take his brand of tiny and bad punt returning someplace else. MARIO URRUTIA IS TALL!
Bam Childress WR Philadelphia Eagles: The best dog breeder in the NFL. I hope.
Brian Clark WR Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Third string kick returner. Bring your playbook.
Mark Clayton WR Baltimore Ravens: He fall off in the year that was supposed to be his breakout. And Cameron Cameron? He loves tall dudes who can block. Clayton's not a giant.
Michael Clayton WR Tampa Bay Buccaneers: The truth can be adjusted. But the simple fact is that this tall dude's gone 40 games with only one score. Never mind the rookie bollocks.
David Clowney WR New York Jets: The skills of a tough Todd Pinkston, but it's back to the practice squad for him.
Keary Colbert WR Denver Broncos: The nightmare scenario for the Broncos fans is that this dude is THEIR #1 receiver.
Laveranues Coles WR New York Jets: He's also been left out to dry by his supporting cast. He could play solidly, but this isn't a one man army thing. Him and Cotchery are the Dollar Tree House and Ocho Cinco.
Marques Colston WR New Orleans Saints: Any questions that he had last year are gone. He's the #1 receiever and even though they do have the Shockey who will take looks, the #2 receiver situation is a mess.
Terrance Copper WR New Orleans Saints: Is going to have to play leapfrog over several players to make his presence remain in New Orelans.
Jemalle Cornelius WR Arizona Cardinals: The Don Cornelius of dudes you won't remember.
Jerricho Cotchery WR New York Jets: He's an awesome receiver who will yet again be stuck on a shitty team. He'll get looks, but Alan Faneca isn't the final piece of the Jets Supprting cast puzzle.
Patrick Crayton WR Dallas Cowboys: He did nothing wring during the season. He gets a shot at redemption and #2 receiverdom for your America's team. He'll be decent.
Joshua Cribbs WR Cleveland Browns: He's awesome as a kick returner. If they decide to see if he can't be a Willie Beamon or a receiver? They will be pouring his tabasco to thickly.
Ronald Curry WR Oakland Raiders: When healthy, he's actually pretty good. But he needs to be the DJ as he's not a #1 receiver.
Kevin Curtis WR Philadelphia Eagles: Just because he's one-half of reversed expectations of a quarterback to his pass-catching ace does not mean racism does not exist, people! Also, he will do similar to last season.
Devard Darling WR Kansas City Chiefs: He has good size and excellent speed. But he was awful in Baltimore. And it's not all the fault of bad quarterbackery.
Andre Davis WR Houston Texans: He faded down the stretch last season. It's back to obscurity for the man. Really. He is no good.
Chris Davis WR Tennessee Titans: Kenton Keith without the awesome ask KK page on his website. Or a 5'10" dude who's not great at returning kicks. Your call.
Craig Davis WR San Diego Chargers: The Buster is looking to supplant Vincent Jackson as a starter. He has the skills to do it too. But he's a #3 receiver to start the year.
Josh Davis WR Carolina Panthers: Needs a better name, this is why he won't stick.
Rashied Davis WR Chicago Bears: Hey! It's a kick returner/gunner who can't handle being a receiver who's not Devin Hester. But he will make the Bears regret making Hester paid. Oh yes.
Early Doucet WR Arizona Cardinals: Early Doucet is the heir apparent for the role of Anquan Boldin. They want him to achieve his initial post-season expectations. Keep him in the back of your mind.
Harry Douglas WR Atlanta Falcons: Kind of has a skinny Greg Jennings vibe. Good hands, plays beyond his timed speed. Not a name for '08. Not yet anyway.
Donald Driver WR Green Bay Packers: He lost his touchdown magic. Now he has to develop a rapport with the new guy. He could be lost in the shuffle. Let the homer have him.
Biren Ealy WR Tennessee Titans: Guess how many playoff catches he has. Hint, it's not zero. Really. I'm still stunned at that fact.
Braylon Edwards WR Cleveland Browns: Broke out into a captain of big-play awesomeness industry. Expect more of the same this year.
Devale Ellis WR Detroit Lions: Hoping to achieve a Marques Colston experience by his collegiate osmosis.
Bobby Engram WR Seattle Seahawks: Old posession receiver is old posesssion receiver. He's getting a starters looks...if he can beat out Ben Obomanu.
Lee Evans WR Buffalo Bills: If you believe that James Hardy can join the Bowe/Colston/Clayton school, then I can guarantee he will reach Rock Flag and Eagle status.
Jimmy Farris WR Washington Redskins: The fact that he's thirty and still trying to achieve his dream gives my lazy ass hope. PIPE DREAMS ARE FUN!
Robert Ferguson WR Minnesota Vikings: Good special teams guy, will never achieve his draft day potential as a receiver. He was supposed to be good, you know?
Yamon Figurs WR Baltimore Ravens: Day man to B.J. Sams Night Man. A master of kick return karate and friendship. For everyone.
Joel Filani WR Seattle Seahawks: The only Texas Tech receiver worth a shot is Michael Crabtree. Or Wes Welker. Tall slow dude.
Brian Finneran WR Atlanta Falcons: A shambling zombie tall white guy who suffers from crippling injuries when he is in camp. He has hands of glue. And feet of glue.
Larry Fitzgerald WR Arizona Cardinals: Probably the safest choice of a superstar receiver. Warner just plain likes him better than Anquan. His second half of 2007 was white hot.
Malcom Floyd WR San Diego Chargers: Tall and speedy. But probably better as a non-hitting rover on defense than anything else.
Eric Fowler WR St. Louis Rams: Invited to camp as a favor to Melvin Fowler.
Chris Francies WR Green Bay Packers: Showed nothing in his opportunites, comes into camp 7th on the Depth Chart.
William Franklin WR Kansas City Chiefs: A size-speed prospect. He's like a simulated dude from Madden 2006.
Mike Furrey WR Detroit Lions: It's back to obscurity with you, Yiff!
Jabar Gaffney WR New England Patriots: Jabar Gaffney is a decent receiver in a situation where he can use his skills excellently. They want Chad Jackson to beat him out, but as a Plan B, they could do worse.
Justin Gage WR Tennessee Titans: He makes the tough catches deep. Because he gets no separation and can't run fast. He has to. When he's open, he's like a dog chasing cars.
Joey Galloway WR Tampa Bay Buccaneers: That season and a half that he missed because of holdouts and ACL's has done wonders for his career. He's in a position to succeed. But don't expect big bucks to go with it.
Pierre Garcon WR Indianapolis Colts: Peter Boy.
Michael Gasperson WR Philadelphia Eagles: HE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HIGH OIL PRICES! GET HIM! OR NOT!
Bryan Gilmore WR Seattle Seahawks: A 30 year-old special teamer is about to disappear into the ether. Say goodbye.
Ted Ginn Jr. WR Miami Dolphins: Ted Ginn is superfast, and would provide the Dolphins starting 11 with a facet that they would really not have otherwise. However, he's not gonna be great this year even if he beats Hagan out.
Terry Glenn WR Free Agent: If he stayed healthy and gave it his all? He could have been a Hall of Famer.
Anthony Gonzalez WR Indianapolis Colts: It's year 3 and Marvin Harrision looks done. Even without the looks of a #2, he still might be a success.
Skyler Green WR New Orleans Saints: Local boy just wants to beat out Lance Moore and return some kicks. No expectations for more here.
D.J. Hackett WR Carolina Panthers: If he's healthy, he can use his physical gifts to be the #2 receiver in the Research triangle. He's tall and fast and young. Mushin's tall and slow and old.
Derek Hagan WR Miami Dolphins: The good? He is a skilled posession receiver in Year 3. But suffice it to say that Ted Ginn will get every, and I mean every opportunity to take him down.
Marques Hagans WR St. Louis Rams: An athletic African-American college quarterback converted to receiver? What is this?
Dante Hall WR St. Louis Rams: The most obscure man to have a Gatorade commercial made for him. Football may be done with him.
Roy Hall WR Indianapolis Colts: He's a Colt. If he gets time he's worth consideration. Seriously. He's dull in every facet. Should just move to tight end and be done with it.
Cortez Hankton WR Tampa Bay Buccaneers: A lovable name even if his game is naked fat dude ugly.
Chris Hannon WR Carolina Panthers: If you wash out of Kansas City? You deserve to be nothing more than camp fodder.
James Hardy WR Buffalo Bills: Year 1? He's gonna catch 80% of his passes on the fade patterns. Scoring-heavy roto leagues may have a valid option here.
Justin Harper WR Baltimore Ravens: This year's David Clowney. Tall Va. tech dude who has a high YPC average, and will likely end his rookie year on the jets practice squad.
Marvin Harrison WR Indianapolis Colts: He's old. Coming off a severe injury. And he's going to face gun mishagoes. There are plenty of reasons to like Anthony Gonzalez to supplant Marvin Harrison.
Mike Hass WR Chicago Bears: Tall dude, but 4.8 timed speed means he's going to have to hold on hard to his glory days in Corvallis.
Lavelle Hawkins WR Tennessee Titans: Flashing any potential means he'll get some playing time.
Devery Henderson WR New Orleans Saints: If he worked with the Jugs machine and developed his hands? He's got a shot at redemption as well as starting again. But for now he's strictly waiver wire.
Marcus Henry WR New York Jets: He felt the magic of fat guy in a little coat. By the transitive properties, Marcus Henry has the power.
Devin Hester WR Chicago Bears: The Browns have the right idea here. Players of amazing physical but raw receiver talent can do a lot more for an offense with the field position game than with various 5-10 plays on offense.
Johnnie Lee Higgins WR Oakland Raiders: A poor man's Ted Ginn who looks like he'll get more time to develop. Never mind him this year.
Efrem Hill WR Cleveland Browns: The best wikipedia profile for a camp body I've ever seen. Too slow and bad hands. STOP TYPING ON THE WIKIPEDIA!
Jason Hill WR San Francisco 49ers: Physically gifted, but he has still not had the light turn on yet.
Ike Hilliard WR Tampa Bay Buccaneers: As Florida draft busts go? He's actually not completely shitty. He's a passable #2 at age 32. Chris Doering can't do that.
Domenik Hixon WR New York Giants: Came back from something that would shake the best of the best to get a ring for returning kicks for the Giants. 2008 may be the free fall on his roller coaster ride.
Ryan Hoag WR Jacksonville Jaguars: Appearing on a Bachelor-based program is indicitave of the fact that your NFL Career is over.
Jonathan Holland WR Oakland Raiders: He does not have a successful career as a midfielder for the Maltese National Team in his future.
Santonio Holmes WR Pittsburgh Steelers: In 16 games, Santonio will score 10 times. Also, year 3 dude.
Glenn Holt WR Cincinnati Bengals: A shifty returner with magic run after the catch skills. He may be the replacement for Chris Henry for the Bengals in 2008. He's taller than Antonio Chatman!
Torry Holt WR St. Louis Rams: The new Marvin Harrison, now that the old one has shown a personality. Expect the scores to bounce back.
Joe Horn WR Atlanta Falcons: The only people who think Joe Horn's not done is him and those in his five. GET IT?!?! Too cool to learn about his plays. He'll be cut for a white guy.
T.J. Houshmandzadeh WR Cincinnati Bengals: Chad Johnson was supplanted in terms of Red Zone looks last year, and while Chad may get more yards, Housh may get the scores.
Paul Hubbard WR Cleveland Browns: A leaper with good hands, even if he is injury prone. The Homerist in me roots for him.
Felton Huggins WR Buffalo Bills: Obviously, it's an Alias. Felton? Felton?!?
Sam Hurd WR Dallas Cowboys: He's a physically gifted tall guy whom the Cowboys want to make...THE LEAP.
Chad Jackson WR New England Patriots: Injured most of his career, he's got minimal chance of achievement of anything besides a bust status by Rex Grossman logic.
Darrell Jackson WR Denver Broncos: Reason #3 as to why the Broncos may have a nightmare scenario on their hands. He's still talented, but he's missed extended blocks of time in several seasons and was downright awful last year. The latter may be circumstance. But the former?
DeSean Jackson WR Philadelphia Eagles: The expectation is as a version of the Miami Moss Brethren. The hope is Santana, the execution may be Sinorice.
Dexter Jackson WR Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Remarkably far away from signing a deal with Tampa. The Dreams of Devin Hesterdom may be deferred.
Vincent Jackson WR San Diego Chargers: Don't pay for his playoff awesomeness. He was the only healthy dude the Bolts had at a skill position.
Taylor Jacobs WR Denver Broncos: Florida receiving draft bust. Will fight Jacquez Green to do Local Telecasts of SEC Games.
Drisan James WR Oakland Raiders: He was the hook in the greatest hook and ladder play in college football. That means he'll never have to buy a drink in Boise.
Dwayne Jarrett WR Carolina Panthers: He's done so much to prove that he's not gonna be a draft bust. And by that I mean he's been useless.
Mike Jefferson WR Dallas Cowboys: Is looking to replace Miles Austin as the return man with tantalizing potential.
Justin Jenkins WR Buffalo Bills: He's the arch-duke of marginally above-average. A 5th wideout hopeful. So there's that. Michael Jenkins WR Atlanta Falcons: Kind of lost in the shuffle. Starts as a #3 receiver.
Adam Jennings WR Atlanta Falcons: Speedy spread receiver type. Power running game from Mike Mularkey bodes well for his ass getting cut.
Greg Jennings WR Green Bay Packers: He's a playmaker. He's a scorer. But he will miss 2-3 games per year with his gimpy ankle.
Michael Jennings WR New York Giants: Does the speed demon lose a step after he popped his achilles?
Andre Johnson WR Houston Texans: If he's a healthy Andre Johnson, he's a bad ass Andre Johnson. He'll make Matt Schaub awesome.
Bryant Johnson WR San Francisco 49ers: The problem is that Mike Martz is gay for Route-Running. Johnson isn't great at it. He can play, but Martz may keep him as a good #3.
Calvin Johnson WR Detroit Lions: He's still built like a cyborg. He's got the physical gifts to bring about change in the motor city. He's still got two years before the bust questions emerge.
Chad Johnson WR Cincinnati Bengals: He's disgruntled. He has an ankle injury. Carson fell in love with the Houshmanzahdeh.
Jaymar Johnson WR Minnesota Vikings: He's a great athlete. He'll contribute return skills. But he's without seasoning.
Steve Johnson WR Buffalo Bills: Loves unicorns and sparkles. Hates route-running.
Brandon Jones WR Tennessee Titans: If he's ever healthy for a full season, he's got #1 receiver skills. A Southern-fried Mark Bradley.
C.J. Jones WR New England Patriots: Cousin of Anquan Boldin who's looking to get in on the gravy train of New England making anybody awesome. He can kick return with some skill.
Jacoby Jones WR Houston Texans: He had awesome physical gifts who's a pretty good returner. The opportunity is there for Good Ol' Double J to make moves. Andre Davis and Kevin Walter are not murders row.
Jamal Jones WR Philadelphia Eagles: Some may say that this is Jamal's farewell ride.
James Jones WR Green Bay Packers: The last rookie WR Ted Thompson picked to show flashes of talent coming out of nowhere only to disappear in the second half was Greg Jennings. And now, James Jones may follow that same path.
Mark Jones WR San Diego Chargers: 17th-seeded on the Mark Jones wikipedia page.
Matt Jones WR Jacksonville Jaguars: He's a giant walking cliched draft bust. CIA Director Gates says Winners Don't Use Drugs!
Onrea Jones WR Indianapolis Colts: The Hampton-Newport News area in Virginia is a breeding ground for hyper-athletic football players. And you know what? It's not just in High School either.
Joe Jurevicius WR Cleveland Browns: His strength is mighty enough that the fact his knees are merely spaghetti. That is, if he ever could get back on the field. Ready yourself for T-Money.
Kevin Kasper WR Cleveland Browns: Sleeper if you believe in the fact that a white dude can come out of nowhere to string some games together. The Browns staff likes him.
Malcolm Kelly WR Washington Redskins: There's opportunity for him to pull off a Marc Boerighter-Reggie Williams low yards high scores season. He's got that sort of skill.
Jordan Kent WR Seattle Seahawks: He's the go long and I'll fake it to you decoy.
David Kircus WR Miami Dolphins: The Division II answer to Kellen Winslow in the magical Finnerty to Kircus combination. Wife-beater.
Ashley Lelie WR San Francisco 49ers: Never did learn that second pass route.
Greg Lewis WR Philadelphia Eagles: Good for one inexplicably good game per year.
Brandon Lloyd WR Chicago Bears: Outside of the occasional highlight film grab? He's not much more than a Freddie Mitchell for the super-rich. Marcus Monk may beat him out.
Brandon London WR New York Giants: He's a coaches son. He's got height and good hands. He's pretty gritty. Guess what the color of his skin is? The answer...might surprise you.
Dane Looker WR St. Louis Rams: Rooting hard for the speedy reach to struggle at being a real receiver. Than it will be Dane's time to shine!
Chad Lucas WR Tampa Bay Buccaneers: One of many who has to look at a Week 17 and say this was my cup of coffee. This was where I shined.
Maurice Mann WR Washington Redskins: Voted most likely to return to Canada by the Dan Steinberg. High praise...if you like the CFL.
Mario Manningham WR New York Giants: Drafting collegiate character risks has a tendency to not work. But in this instance? If he gets his head rightish, he'll be a solid pro starter. Crazy works when you catch passes.
Brandon Marshall WR Denver Broncos: Reason's #1 and #2 for the nightmare scenario in Denver. He is an awesome player when healthy. But he's still got the severe arm injury. And the tendencies to get buckwild. He may miss 4-8 weeks.
Timon Marshall WR Kansas City Chiefs: Pumba Jenkins misses his wingman.
Ruvell Martin WR Green Bay Packers: The best 5th Receiver in Football. Flat out and pure.
Glenn Martinez WR Denver Broncos: The smaller aspect of the Broncos nightmare scenario. Injuries could force a return of Glenn Martinez: Third receiver. Dun dun dunnh.
Derrick Mason WR Baltimore Ravens: Good posession receivers can last forever. But they're not scoring threats. Mase is not the man.
Marcus Maxwell WR Cincinnati Bengals: A tall dude who had a big year in NFL Europe before it closed. But three draft picks at his position equal cut.
Scott Mayle WR Buffalo Bills: His hands are good, but that may not be enough to fight through the ballast.
Justin McCareins WR Tennessee Titans: Just dropped the compliment I was going to toss his way.
LeRon McCoy WR Houston Texans: Looking to make a team after a two-year hiatus.
Marquay McDaniel WR Denver Broncos: A badass for the Hampton Pirates. May not make it through camp.
Shaun McDonald WR Detroit Lions: He'll always have last year. He was magical last year. Now it's back to his previous level of back-up career performances.
Chris McFoy WR Oakland Raiders: One-half of the real-life inspiration for the McPoyles of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. See kids? Libel can be fun!
Kevin McMahan WR Kansas City Chiefs: Hey look, it's the second Mr. Irrelevant I've mentioned here. Guess the other one?
Billy McMullen WR Washington Redskins: He's a tall slow dude of no importance. Name leads people to think he's white.
Robert Meachem WR New Orleans Saints: After year one, he finds himself ranked at about 75% of a Busta.
Ahmad Merritt WR Arizona Cardinals: The Steve Breaston understudy.
Brandon Middleton WR Detroit Lions: Could be passable in a Wes Welker role, but he'll never make a team out of camp. I mean, Detroit has no room for him.
Anthony Mix WR Washington Redskins: Tall, skinny dude who won't be in Washington by first cuts.
Marcus Monk WR Chicago Bears: He's a 6'4" receiver from a run-dominant college football team. He has some nice gifts. He'll make love to someones practice squad.
Kenneth Moore WR Detroit Lions: It's a mess at returner, but he can find his way into a job with some success this year.
Lance Moore WR New Orleans Saints: 5th receiver. Possession receiver. Sounds like a lady when he's walking in a room.
Sean Morey WR Arizona Cardinals: His special teams bonafides are good. But he cut.
Josh Morgan WR San Francisco 49ers: Needs to be less of a dick if he's gonna be the speedy back-up special teamer.
Randy Moss WR New England Patriots: Is obviously expected to have another big year again. Probably not 23 scores good, but maybe he gets past 15 again.
Santana Moss WR Washington Redskins: When there's no expectations he surpasses them. But when he's got to be "the man" his hammy blows up the spot.
Sinorice Moss WR New York Giants: Was supposed to be his brother, but has failed to even do that in the return game.
Muhsin Muhammad WR Carolina Panthers: A wide receiver with a lot of mileage on his legs. Don't expect yet another rally for his skills. Also, on the terrorist watch list. Sad fact of this Post 9/11 world.
Martin Nance WR Minnesota Vikings: A Dollar Tree Justin Gage.
Jordy Nelson WR Green Bay Packers: A shifty receiver. Some call him Brandon Stokely. But he's too not injury prone. Also. I'm not lazy. He's like James Jones.
Dennis Northcutt WR Jacksonville Jaguars: An experienced punt returner. He's not much of a receiver.
Ben Obomanu WR Seattle Seahawks: He came with a good performance when Branch tore his ACL. He may get his shot at glory this year.
Kassim Osgood WR San Diego Chargers: The fabulous special teamer with the funny name. Actually is related to CBS Sunday Morning host Charles Osgood. Can be so much more than this in his opinion.
Terrell Owens WR Dallas Cowboys: Is he old? Yes. Do hipsters taunt him with "Needy Girl?" Yes. But he's becoming a deep threat in his old age. That's rare stuff, man.
Samie Parker WR Denver Broncos: Going, going, gone goodbye. Samie Parker is a joke.
Roscoe Parrish WR Buffalo Bills: Has the white hot return explosiveness of an 8th grade boy. Not much more than a slot receiver on offense.
David Patten WR New Orleans Saints: Epic failed his last season where he had expectations to produce. Devery is still younger and faster.
Logan Payne WR Seattle Seahawks: An edgy 1990's Superhero.
Jerry Porter WR Jacksonville Jaguars: He's forever tantalizing. But he's also already injured. I mean really. If he didn't have an 8-pack, he'd get cut.
Jerard Rabb WR San Francisco 49ers: The ladder of the greatest hook and ladder of all time in college football. BOISE STATE FOOTBALL RULES!
Antwaan Randle El WR Washington Redskins: Still more returner than receiver. Never has had more than 3 scores in a season as a pass catcher.
Jamaica Rector WR Arizona Cardinals: He has decent speed, but he definitely has no room at the in with the Buzzsaw.
Josh Reed WR Buffalo Bills: Blocker. Slot receiver. Any more expectations and he's ripped apart like so much tissue paper.
Kerry Reed WR Baltimore Ravens: If he couldn't make it in Miami last year, why even bother with him?
Willie Reid WR Pittsburgh Steelers: What do you say...when you're drafted to kick return...and you cannot hang onto the ball?
Sidney Rice WR Minnesota Vikings: Had a month where he was able to let his talent soar. Like Berrian, he's a tall dude at his best when he can go deep. But amidst the injuries he does have rapport with Tavaris.
Brandon Rideau WR Chicago Bears: The Kansas alum fits the Green Bay Packers model. Quick, tall, and shifty.
Dante Ridgeway WR New Orleans Saints: He may already be cut as I type this. He was kind of a badass in college.
Kevin Robinson WR Kansas City Chiefs: His College All-Star Game tells you yes. But his 4.74 Combine time tells you no.
Laurent Robinson WR Atlanta Falcons: He supplanted Michael Jenkins in mini-camps as the #2 receiver. He is at the level of one week plug and play.
Ryne Robinson WR Carolina Panthers: The want him to be Roscoe Parrish. He has offense productivity however.
Courtney Roby WR Indianapolis Colts: Related to Reggie Roby. 27 million times less awesome than him too. I wish Reggie was still punting. Even though he's dead.
Eddie Royal WR Denver Broncos: He's superfast. Legitimate sprinters speed. He is fated as a returner of kicks.
Cliff Russell WR Denver Broncos: On his fifth team. Likely he's gonna be on his sixth team. Soon enough.
Steve Sanders WR Cleveland Browns: Ian Ziering. Nothing if not subtle.
Chaz Schilens WR Oakland Raiders: Physically? He's a rich man's Brett Swain. I hope Chazray enjoys the practice squad.
Trent Shelton WR Seattle Seahawks: Trent Shelton terrorized kids in the Greater Little Rock area with his bullying shenanigans. The hazing is a nice twist.
Edell Shepherd WR Denver Broncos: A torn ACL means he will not get cut! Yay!
Arman Shields WR Oakland Raiders: Sub 4.3 speed is sub 4.3 speed. Whoo!
Mark Simmons WR Houston Texans: 1-14 is and forever shall be his career total.
Jerome Simpson WR Cincinnati Bengals: He's trying to turn himself into another James Jones type. But it's a morass in the back-up's in the Bengals. Of all of them, he is one of them.
Bobby Sippio WR Kansas City Chiefs: The new Troy Brown? Psyche. Man to man on Hunkie Cooper is essentially meaningless.
Matthew Slater WR New England Patriots: The new Troy Brown? And I'm not joking about this. Returner who's got experience on both sides of the ball.
Brad Smith WR New York Jets: A solid batch of versatility and run skills who may be taking a real receiving role with McCariens dropping passes in Tennessee.
Marcus Smith WR Baltimore Ravens: Tall, and hyperproductive in college. As a Raven, he will be forced to attempt to play above his head.
Shaine Smith WR St. Louis Rams: Attempting to move away from Carmazzi, on the scale of Hofstra's alumni success in the NFL.
Steve Smith WR New York Giants: Good at finding the zones and seams in a defenses set-up. Will replace Toomer soon enough.
Steve Smith WR Carolina Panthers: Needs reigonal chicken commercial partner Jake Delhomme to be healthy for him to be deadly.
Micheal Spurlock WR Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Michael Spurlock is an African-American who quarterbacked in college. Two fun trivia facts. He replaced Eli Manning at quarterback for Ole Miss. He has Tampa Bay's only kickoff return for a touchdown.
Donte' Stallworth WR Cleveland Browns: You know what he can do. Very fast. Tallish. Injury-prone. But as a #2 reciever, he's kind of awesome when he's healthy.
Isaiah Stanback WR Dallas Cowboys: Trying to work his way to Brad Smith status. He's got great athleticism and no ill effects from his college Lisfranc injury. Those things are deadly.
John Standeford WR Detroit Lions: Has more championships than Barry Sanders.
Derek Stanley WR St. Louis Rams: Warhawks don't ever back down.
Syndric Steptoe WR Cleveland Browns: The Nightman to B.J. Sams' Dayman.
Brandon Stokley WR Denver Broncos: Reason #4 for the nightmare scenario. He's a great #3 receiver. And he can be worthy of a fantastical roster spot when healthy. However? The Dugout is planning a Football Guys where Brandon goes through a series of comical injurious pratfalls.
Maurice Stovall WR Tampa Bay Buccaneers: The young man of the team...he does have trust around the goal line that Michael Clayton just doesn't have.
Chansi Stuckey WR New York Jets: Impressed in camp before he got put on injured reserve.
Brett Swain WR Green Bay Packers: Ted Thompson can pull good receivers out of his ass. The thing about Swain? Some other team's gonna claim him.
Limas Sweed WR Pittsburgh Steelers: He's tall. Roethlisberger likes tall dudes. FOLKS! Seriously, he's multi-talented if he doesn't keep getting dinged up. I mean he's a rookie. It could go Chad Jackson or Greg Jennings.
Courtney Taylor WR Seattle Seahawks: A cheap D.J. Hackett clone.
Travis Taylor WR Carolina Panthers: Move along, he's a Florida receiver draft bust. Nothing you haven't seen before. And he's not gonna Ike Hilliard his shit either.
Devin Thomas WR Washington Redskins: Not to be a member of the hater nation, but the highlight of his career is beating Matt Forte in the Madden Rookie Bowl. He may not make it in this world.
Marco Thomas WR San Diego Chargers: 4 teams in two years means he has a leather ass to go with his...no. Not even gonna finish this one.
Dominique Thompson WR Carolina Panthers: You wish your mustache was fly like his.
Craphonso Thorpe WR New York Giants: He has been waived by six teams. You can tell me how he's gonna do.
James Thrash WR Washington Redskins: Special teams ace who may find his career over by the time of his first cutdown.
Burl Toler WR Washington Redskins: Of course he went to Berkely. With a name like Burl he has to be a child of hippies.
Amani Toomer WR New York Giants: Solid posession receiver who will be a stealthy beneficiary of the Shockey trade.
David Tyree WR New York Giants: Special teams player who had one shining moment. But the Super Bowl hero could become cut by the end of camp. That's crazy.
Jerheme Urban WR Arizona Cardinals: The Karl Urban of street free agents. PATHFINDER! On the real? Averaged 80 yards per start last year.
Mario Urrutia WR Cincinnati Bengals: My choice for the inexplicable sleeper of 2008. He's tall. He's got the 7th round pick stigma. He's kind of slow. Tall kind of slow dudes are the rookie sleepers of receiverdom.
Bobby Wade WR Minnesota Vikings: #3 receiver and one of the reasons why your offense may be in trouble if Jeff Foxworthy told jokes about fantasy football. Will not set new career highs.
Gerran Walker WR Pittsburgh Steelers: If a dude's short and you haven't heard of him, the expectation is that he's a speedy camp body. Gerran is 5'9."
Javon Walker WR Oakland Raiders: An injury-prone character risk. He's talented if he's healthy, but he's over 30 and he keeps flashing his roll where bad man can get bad ideas.
Mike Walker WR Jacksonville Jaguars: His potential is flashy, and yet? Inconsistent. It's a Jaguar trait.
Kevin Walter WR Houston Texans: 65-800-5 is about as high as his ceiling will travel.
Hines Ward WR Pittsburgh Steelers: Hey! Did you hear he was an Asian? No! Well he is! He's consistent and clutch. He could still be relevant by the turn of the new decade.
Paris Warren WR Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Watch him in camp. He was awesome last year. He does it again, and he could be making Michael Clayton disappear.
Kelley Washington WR New England Patriots: The second best #5 receiver in the NFL. Special teams ace as well.
Nate Washington WR Pittsburgh Steelers: One who if given an opportunity for success, could do a lot with it.
Todd Watkins WR Oakland Raiders: From BYU. That means he's a white guy! Likely cut! Yay!
Reggie Wayne WR Indianapolis Colts: He's a modern day Torry Holt. He's not brash. He's not loud. He's just consistently good.
Jeff Webb WR Kansas City Chiefs: He's shown flashes of brilliance for two years now. Also, he has to beat Devard Darling. Am I saying he's got sleeper possibilities? Damn right I am.
Eric Weems WR Atlanta Falcons: A younger, no photo available, version of Chandler Williams.
Wes Welker WR New England Patriots: He's a scrappy white guy who, if you want to ape Pro Football Prospectus, compares favorably to Terrence Mathis. Who's not white. Probably will get 90 receptions again.
Roddy White WR Atlanta Falcons: Broke out through the fire and flames of the dystopian nightmare that was 2007. So long as Chris Redman starts, you can trust that Roddy White can be a valid player.
Ernest Wilford WR Miami Dolphins: He's a posession receiver. Mediocre. Slow. But if the Fins get to the Red Zone? It's his baby.
Brandon Williams WR St. Louis Rams: His skills are most heavily versed in his return game. And that's why some Arena tean will love him.
Chandler Williams WR Atlanta Falcons: Living on the practcie squad. Looks like an emaciated Vince Young. Two black people look alike? NO!
Demetrius Williams WR Baltimore Ravens: Everybody's 15th Round Roto sleeper. Obvious sleeper is obvious disappointment.
Harry Williams WR Houston Texans: He has kick returning skills. But unless Jacoby Jones makes...THE LEAP? His skills are redundant and back to the practice squad with him.
Mike Williams WR Tennessee Titans: It's a USC receiver. Did he spent his year off learning about the sheer joy that is the crucnhy Chee-to? Probably. I know I did.
Paul Williams WR Tennessee Titans: The Titans have no Temptation in keeping him around. FOLKS!
Reggie Williams WR Jacksonville Jaguars: David Garrard's favorite goal-line threat. Seriously, he got 11 scores last year. Jerry Porter can't do shit to stop it.
Roy Williams WR Detroit Lions: Note to self. Roy Williams is flaky. He is going to bust his ass to get paid. I personally am waiting for the weird shit that Roy Williams is going to try and buy after his new contract.
Roydell Williams WR Tennessee Titans: Or as I like to call him, mediocre Roy Williams. It's like adding Democratic to a People's Republic, the dell is I tell ya. I am unfunny.
Troy Williamson WR Jacksonville Jaguars: The Jaguars collect first round receiver draft busts like a fat man collects cake. Williamson is the latest. Get some hands, buddy roe.
Matt Willis WR Baltimore Ravens: Raw talent is meaning for the practice squad.
Travis Wilson WR Cleveland Browns: Oklahoma, in terms of receivers with professional success, has a great chance of being the Y-Generation's Florida. T-Money may add to the legacy. He's a winner!
D'Juan Woods WR Jacksonville Jaguars: Remember how awesome Rashaun Woods did as a pro? Meet the cheap knock off!
Wallace Wright WR New York Jets: Special teams is what keeps this man from being called a nerd. Wallace has a mangina.
Dominique Zeigler WR San Francisco 49ers: Baylor alumnus. Obvious girls name leads to obvious hazing.

Well. I hope you learned something here. You get the good, the bad, the ugly, and the already cut. You can't hate on this.

Bye!