When Disaster Strikes...

Is not just the name of the seminal Busta Rhymes album. It could be what happens to the Brewers in these next few months. I mean, let me tell you a story of what could happen.

A. The Brewers miss the playoffs. This means the player to be named later in the Sabathia trade will be the Brewers choice, and likely a man of no consequence.

B. The Yankees cull Bobby Abreu and Carl Pavano from the payroll, and use the balance to take C.C. Sabathia as the Angels sleep.

C. Ed Wade does his best Jerry Jones and his boy Sheetsie gets 5 years and 70 million.

D. The Brewers do not want to be too splashy in terms of free agency. It's a big year, but the Brewers aren't gonna try and get above 80 million dollars if they don't have to.

And let's be honest, I am going to make estimates based on precedent and other details in terms of contract. But the fundamentals will be sound.

And so? A journey of a wannabe GM begins...now.

Returning Payroll: Here's where it begins. What cost the Brewers about 35.5 million in 2008 is going to become prohibitively expensive. Fielder starts arbitration, Suppan, Hall, J.J. Hardy, Bush, Corey Hart and maybe even the versatility of the Ginger McClung will all receive million dollar-plus raises. You aren't going to see it double, but 26.5 million dollars later? The Brewers stand at 62 million dollars.

Options exercised? CF Mike Cameron ($10,000,000 +3 million dollars from 2008); INF Craig Counsell ($3,400,000 +600 thousand dollars from 2008 and it hurts because he sucks.)

Free Agents Re-Signed? LOOGY Brian Shouse ($2,200,000 +200 thousand dollars from 2008); OF Gabe Kapler ($1,000,000 +200 thousand dollars from 2008); 3B Russell Branyan ($750,000 +350 thousand dollars from 2008).

So now we stand at $66,200,000. If the Brewers sign no other free agents, here's your 25-man roster.

C- Jason Kendall
C- Mike Rivera
1B- Prince Fielder
2B- Rickie Weeks
3B- Russell Branyan
SS- J. J. Hardy
IF- Billy Hall
IF- Craig Counsell
LF- Ryan Braun
CF- Mike Cameron
RF- Corey Hart
OF- Gabe Kapler
OF- Tony Gwynn

SP- Manny Parra
SP- Yovani Gallardo
SP- Jeff Suppan
SP- Dave Bush
SP- Seth McClung

RP- Mark DiFelice
RP- Luis Pena
RP- Tim Dillard
RP- Brian Shouse
RP- Carlos Villanueva
RP- David Riske

CL- Salomon Torres

So what do the Brewers need? Obvious need is obvious. Pitching. And as for that I do have a premise as to how the Brewers can generate some pitching.

Trade Prince Fielder

I know, it sounds crazy. But he's still team controlled for another couple of years, and with Scott Boras in tow, there's no chance that he'll give Milwaukee a year of his Free Agency for an extension. So, expect the Brewers to quietly shop Fielder this offseason. A likely scenario? The Angels lose Teixera via Free Agency. The Brewers quietly swoop in and get a young starter from the Angels for Fielder. We'll call him Joe saunders. So we'll move Gamel to first base and we'll do the Bruss Brall at third.

So now where are we? 23.8 million dollars.

Move #1: Sign Juan Cruz (3 years/9 million dollars)

Juan Cruz is a power pitcher. Juan Cruz generates a lot of strike outs. He can have his issues with lefties, however? He is a righty killer. I think his issues with lefthanders may keep his price down, but a savvy manager of bullpens can keep him as an ace 7th inning guy/righty killer.

Move #2: Sign Bartolo Colon (1 year/1.25 million Team option for 2010 at 2 million)

But with a twist. You make Bartolo Colon a middle reliever/closer candidate. His limited time as a Red Sock last year shows that he has an ability to pitch. But as a starter he'll fall apart. So, you sign him as a middle reliever with incentive bonuses and hope he's another Eckersley or Kerry Wood.

Move #3: Three million dollars for veteran starting pitcher reclamation projects.

There are plenty of options in the injured starter who showed talents previously. Obvious Mark Prior is obvious. But here's what I'm thinking. Show me something in a Chris Capuano, a Mark Mulder, and a Russ Ortiz and hope one of them hit.

Move #4 Sign Joe Nathan (3 years/39 million dollars)

Perhaps this is colored by yesterdays taint punch of a collapse, but Joe Nathan may actually prove to have some value in the new economy. The Brewers are going to be contenders, or at the very least close to contention, jumping on the Joe Nathan bandwagon with all deliberate speed while everybody's all fired up for the twisted steel and sex appeal of Fransisco Rodriguez? You can get good value.

And in these five moves? Your Milwaukee Brewers are ready for battle in 2009.

New 2009 Roster?

C- Kendall
C- Rivera
1B- Mat Gamel
2B- Weeks
3B- Branyan
SS- Hardy
IF- Hall
IF- Counsell
LF- Braun
CF- Cameron
RF- Hart
OF- Kapler
OF- Gwynn

SP- Parra
SP- Gallardo
SP- Suppan
SP- Bush
SP- McClung/Russ Ortiz/Chris Capuano/Mark Mulder

RP- Bartolo Colon
RP- Juan Cruz
RP- Brian Shouse
RP- Salomon Torres
RP- Carlos Villanueva
RP- David Riske

CL- Joe Nathan

And with JJ Hardy, Mike Cameron, and Jason Kendall as trade bait as some of the Huntsville 8 show off their readiness? It's a beautiful thing.

By all logic, it's on in the NL Central.

If you get served, and then you serve them back? It's on.



And I couldn't be happier. My baseball team got C.C. Sabathia. He was solid tonight. I was expecting a perfect game, but a quality start is cool.

But you know what the Cubs did? They served the Brewers back.


Don't Break My Heart...

The Cubs got themselves a solid answer. Rich Harden, who in terms of baseball superherodom rates somewhere along the lines of Ben Sheets Bizarro Half-Brother, (Better stuff and more ability, but he may not get to 20 starts, ever.) And they didn't have to pay nearly the same price as the Brewers.

Now, sure, Matt Murton never got a fair shot with the Cubs and could Jack Cust some shit. Baseball America comes out and calls Sean Gallagher a Jon Lieber type (in a pitching park? That's solid). Eric Patterson could turn out to be a better version of his brother. And Josh Donaldson is an A-Ball Catcher. Ask Ben Petrick or J.D. Closser what can happen.

Granted, the Cubs only real big guns have made the bigs or are in Low-A, but still there was no Tyler Vitters or Jeff Sazmardja. And did I mention that Chad Gaudin deserves more mention than what I gave him? He's a Caludio Vargas type. Those have value.

So now the Cubs have solidifed their rotation. The Brewers have star power. If the Cardinals do anything? These last 70 games will be very intriguing.

God love it.

The Milwaukee Brewers, 81 games in, Grade it out.

Here's the thing. I've said it before on several occasions that I've left this team for dead. I'm not proud of it, but the team had hyper expectations, and after Gallardo went down for the year? I expected them to need a shake up to wake up.

Who would have thought it would have been Eric Gagne falling onto the DL? Anyway. Grades at this point...

Catchers
Jason Kendall: B (His offense that was expectedly shit. But his defense? Remarkable good.)
Mike Rivera: B (He's made a lot of his limited time. Stupid Ned Yost is going to get Kendall's option vested.)

Infielders
Prince Fielder: B- (Off the pace of last season, but he's not playing awful. Or awfully. His vegetarianism was just an excuse to eat more candy.)
Rickie Weeks: D (He's got this weird bit of a skill set. Great eye. Decent power. Marginal defense. And he's hitting .214. I believe he's gonna get hot, but...)
J.J. Hardy: C- (J.J. Hardy is wildly inconsistent. He will get hot. But as he is? He's weaksauced.)
Russell Branyan: A+ (He's been above and beyond the expectation. He's gonna fall off. But he's sparked a revolution in offense while he's up here.)
Billy Hall: D (Outside of his power, he's been negative fun in Milwaukee. I respect him, but his game has imploded.)
Craig Counsell: D- (He's got a decent eye and can play an okay second base. That's it. His game is done.)

Outfielders
Ryan Braun: A- (He's turning into a Jewish Vladimir Guerrero. He has no approach at the plate, but he's rolling out on a good arm and a passable defense.)
Mike Cameron: C (Good defense, power, and speed. No average. The Brewers got an average Mike Cameron year.)
Corey Hart: B+ (He's the Kentucky Ninja of above average offense who is always awesome at this point in the year. Woot.)
Gabe Kapler: B+ (He's a Lefty smashing golem for great justice.)
Joe Dillon: D (His versatility is worth a free nip-up of the letter grade. But this is not like last year.)

Starters
Ben Sheets: A (Altogether now? Contract year.)
Jeff Suppan: C (League average innings eater? Yes.)
Manny Parra: B (His run has been awesome. But there are still concerns as to his true divinity. His starts have been inconsistent.)
Seth McClung: C (4 decent starts, 1 okay start, 2 bad starts. He's around the world.)
Dave Bush: D+ (He's only had three quality starts for the season. Mediocre to bad the rest of the way.)

Relievers
Salomon Torres: A (His best year statistically is at the age of 36. He is why in Doug we trust. Even if they should just release Gagne.)
David Riske: D- (He's never been the most consistent, but this is a bad year. I still think Riske may be hurt.)
Guillermo Mota: C+ (When he's on, he's been decent. When he's not? He's been a gas can of weepy salty tears.)
Brian Shouse: A+ (As a lefty one-out guy goes, he's been pretty solid versus right handers. He needs his own Tyler Perry produced movie. LOL SHOUSE OF PAYNE!)
Carlos Villanueva: C- (Weak as a starter, and has allowed runs in 5 straight appearances. Down year for Villy.)
Mark DiFelice: B+ (You cannot hate on 16 K's to 0 walks. But DiFelice has a dinger issue that he's gonna have to deal with.)
Tim Dillard: D (Random middle reliever, will be more memorable to fans of Florida State's last national championship run.)
Mitch Stetter: B+ (He's come out of nowhere to be a very great, if not occasionally wild lefthanded pitcher.)

Injured
Eric Gagne: F+ (At least he had the sense to get hurt and has the sense to stretch out his time on the DL.)

Everybody else, your Tony Gwynn, Hernan Ibarren, Zack Jackson, Julian Tavarez, Derrick Turnbow, Gabe Gross, Yovani Gallardo's? You get an Incomplete. Okay, Gabe gets a D. He brought in a prospect who seems to be flaming out spectacularly in the Florida State League. And Julian and Derrick get F's. Short time F's, but they were Epic Fails. And Gallardo? Tragically gets an A. His three starts were something awesome.

Grades are arbitrary, and based on personal expectations. So nyah.

Hope is a funny thing.

Rooting for the Milwaukee Brewers used to be so easy. If they won? Spectacular. If they lost? Eh, you knew they sucked.

After all, there have only been two years that they really contended since my post-natal ass got into the World Series in 1982. The Brewers were the drunk cousin who constantly asked you for money. They were unfuckable losers.

But last year changed everything. Last year gave those in the cheeseheads hope. And with hope came the expectation. We were your NL Central Champions on May 1st.

You know how the story turned out. The Cubs played one step beyond expectations to vaporize an 8 game lead and win the division. Ned Yost mismanaged the bullpen. Jimmy Rollins stole the Fresh Prince's MVP Award.

And nothing much beyond that made sense either. The Brewers filled the bullpen with a lot of decency, but Ned Yost doesn't need more choices. Mike Cameron was not the lefthanded power bat the Brewers were hoping for. And then...



And the less said about that, the better.

But as hot last season's start was? This year the Brewers were Cold as Ice. Yost was looking rather inept, even admitting at one point that he feared a triple play. Gagne was as bad as expected. And Yovani? Gallardo Mode was Yovani No Go. Two starts and a torn ACL later?

The Brewers were dead. One of those sorts of deaths that makes friend of blog OMDQ look at it and say, "Come on fucking guy, I'm a Sox fan and I know it's too early!" And you know what? He was right.

Eric Gagne disappears, and the hero of the Badger State Cognoscenti Russell Branyan appears? And suddenly, the Brewers get hot.


RUSSELL BRANYAN THOUGHT HE TOLD YOU HE WON'T STOP!

But alas, the fun is over. The hope is dead again. There's a shambling corpse readying himself to take the stage, and this is what will keep the Cubs as your NL Central Champions, even without Zam-Bran.


GOOOOOOGLES...I MEAN BRRRRAINS!!!

Yep. Gagne's back by the weekend. Good game hope. I'll get you yet.