Take a look to the sky...

I was wrong about Trevor Hoffman coming here. I honestly thought geography would trump closing. (This also means I'm wrong about Salomon Torres being retired to avoid spring training.) But hey. I think I'm happy about this as a gamble.

Maybe. He does come with relatively good value. He's a Mike Cameron styled signing. An above average player who comes at about 6 million dollars in year one. That being said? Those in the Brewerati who see this as another Gagne signing? They do have a case.

Why? Let's look at the facts.

1. Age

A 41-year old closer who had been merely average in his last season in Petco Park? That's not exactly something that brings forth warm and fuzzies. Sure, he never had the strongest arm. But that's a parlay to reason #2 why you shouldn't get super excited.

2. Petco Park is a super Pitchers park.

Now Miller Park isn't exactly a land of offensive sexy. But Hoffman has flyball tendencies. And from Petco to an average offensive stadium? That means we could have Hoffman with a Four-plus ERA.

3. Carlos Villanuever

My laziness can burn me. The Todd Coffey post was a perfect example. But a cursory look at Carlos Villanueva as a middle reliever showed something interesting. He kind of kicked ass.

Look at this line from the pen.

2-2, 2.12 ERA, 59 1/3 IP, 14 BB, 62 SO, 1.045 WHIP.

That's command, control, and dominace. He has a chance to be a great bridge from the rotation to the bullpen. But kind of like Marmol from last season, the better pitcher gets less glory.

But nevertheless, I don't hate the signing. Hoffman makes the situation easy. I know that closers are made and not born. But the fact of the matter is, if the Brewers odds of the playoffs are long? Making the bullpen situation for the Brewers easier can only help.

Show us 1997 Doug Jones please!

Dear Ted Thompson,

Don't sign Mike Nolan. He has no style and creativity. A read and react defense only means that we're going to get season two of offenses running the shit over your Green Bay Packers? You like DeAngelo Williams getting 4 scores every week? That's what you'll get when you let Mike Nolan in.

He is going to get you fired. You want that? Do you?

Because that is what you are going to fucking get. Good riddance lol.

A Brewers supposition...

The Brewers will be underrated at starter. I expect a healthy Chris Capuano. Add that to a Gallardo-Parra-Bush triumverate? And there may not be so much with the spectacular downfall.

That being said? Todd Coffey? He will be the closer at some point for your Milwaukee Brewers. I know. It sounds crazy. And I will allow you to be right.

But that being said? I think it was Bill James who said that once you show a skill, it does not disappear. And 2006 Todd Coffey? He had a closer of the future rep. He had a 96-MPH fastball that sunk as well as a splitter that was different somehow. But does he have a weakness? Uh-duh.

But outside options? Keep dreaming that Trevor Hoffman will come. That won't happen. Brandon Lyon would be passable. Except for the fact he would be the third best pitcher and the sixth best arm in the bullpen.

Yeah, he's better than Gagne. But isn't that like saying Leverage is better than Oceans 12 AND 13? It's a nasty backhanded compliment. And this is why Brandon Lyon won't close. He sucks for months at a time. And it was David Coverdale who said once bitten, twice shy baby.

And thus? It all comes back to Coffey. He will improve on his save percentage. Bank on it.

UPDATE: Thanks for the link Brew Crew Ball. And thanks for spoiling my next post. Meanies.

For an ill-considered novelty t-shirt, the Cubs sign an unpredictable element.

I'm of two minds on Milton Bradley. If healthy? The Cubs have themselves a guy who could go .315/.395/.560. He is going to be a real force for evil.

(What?)

But here's where this so-called wicket gets sticky. Sure, he's slotted in right field. And that's cool, Fukudome was kind of a lot of drag on the team. But then there's that whole injury prone thing. And this isn't a brief run either. How about a quick game of one of these things is not like the other. Last season, Milton Bradley played 126 games as mainly a designated hitter.

Before that?
2002: 98
2003: 101
2004: 141
2005: 75
2006: 96
2007: 61

See a developing trend here kids?

And of course, any Milton Bradley discussion does have to touch on his temper. It is what it is, and while he has mellowed some has he has fallen over the age of 30. However, Lou Pinella has a strong personality, and I kind of want to punch him. And I am a mellow leader of the future.

So what does it all mean. He is a when healthy guy. When healthy, he could roll out a line of .950 OPSery. But every game over game 100?

It's gravy.

I don't normally link other posts...

As one of the millions of people stuck in-between Irrelevant and Deadspin, I know that there are other places of more popularity where you can find these posts. But on the off chance you missed this?

Now, the natural reaction to this line of thinking, despite its temptations, is twofold. First, there's the fact that, you know, unrestrained, indiscriminate destruction and violence is inherently wrong. But of course, the chaos side of the argument gets around that by disavowing the entire concept of right and wrong as part of those tenets you have to hold on to. Secondly is the matter, that the Joker ends up getting his ass kicked, swinging from a roof after his master plan completely failed. But think about why it failed. In the end, his failure, even in the short-term, was the result not of the caped crusaders' punching and kicking and bataranging. It was the inability of people on the boats to push the button. The decision not to go through with the most chaotic of impulses, the disregard of those exact tenets. In reality, the tenets didn't dictate the action, the action validated the tenets through their existence. People are inherently good because they didn't push the button. This of course goes back to a fairly long-standing and unspeakably more complex philosophical debate than I can articulate, but that's neither here nor there, so bear with me.

How does this relate to a mustached coach and Al Harrington? I'll tell you.

You need to visit the Hardwood Paroxysm. You may even need to favorite it.

And now? Utah has to get the AP National Championship.

Forget about USC. Utah played a stronger schedule. They did. USC can blame the utter incompetence of the state of Washington, but USC cannot be considered as a national title contender.

Forget about Texas. You had to struggle to beat Ohio State this year? You can essentially go fuck yourself. Ohio State's big win was Michigan State. They were a team tailor made to get their ass kicked by the Georgia Bulldogs.

And in this instant, we can say the Florida-Oklahoma winner deserves half of it. It's fine. We have no problem calling the Bowl with No Name a National Championship Game.

But Utah ran the table. Utah played 5 teams that were ranked during the year. That's not as many as Florida or Oklahoma. But Florida loaded up on paper tigers. Georgia. LSU. South Carolina. Vanderbilt. And they lost to an Ole Miss team that didn't develop a swagger until they escaped out of Arkansas.

So give Utah a split National Championship. Give Oklahoma and Florida the other one. And ESPN? Break up the BCS please. The top 2 teams will never play with the comedic joke that is the Preseason Polling. So this needs to stop.

The Mid-Major Ken Pomeroy 100!

Now? We're out of the BCS. We have to talk about new teams. We haven't dicussed St. Mary's, let alone Gonzaga. So, of all the teams in the Ken Pomeroy 100 that don't belong to the BCS? They start here.

With the Mountain West.

1. BYU (The efficency of the team is spectacular. Lee Cummard has three-point shooting, blocks, and point forwardery. And you know? You need to find a way in Jackson Emery.)
2. San Diego State (Fast hands and offensive rebounds are their tiger style. Kyle Spain is an awesome two-guard and Tim Shelton is a great glass cleaner.)
3. Utah (It's a tall veteran team with good shooters and some good defenders. Luke Nevill may actually be worth an NBA shot.)
4. UNLV (Rene Rougeau is a bad ass unlike his wrestling brethren. And because they take care of the ball? He will be the most fabulous Rougeau ever!)
5. New Mexico (This is a very good shooting team if they don't go to the line. It's got good scoring balance too. Daniel Faris is a good pivot. Tony Dandridge is a great slasher.)