The 30 in 30 for the Heat?

Michael Beasley makes Shawn Marion obsolete. And that is why the Heat cannot contend this year.

Wade is injury prone, and every other star is flaky and mercurial.

But when Hasheem Thabeet and Lamar Odom come to play? They will be swagger and boom. So come back next year. That's when they rise up and kick a little ass in the USA.

30 in 30? The Charlotte Bobcats.

Meh. Alexis Ajinca is intriguing. But unless Adam Morrison and Sean May can show something? It's another year in the wilderness.

30 in 30? The New Orelans Hornets.

Chris Paul became a basketball Jesus during last season's magical semifinal run.

But you know what? That's not why we're here. We're here for James Posey!

His veteran intangibles will come off the bench and save the world. In fact? His veteran intangibles are going to do what Drew Brees and Reggie Bush could never do.

They're winning it all. Because James Posey just does that.

30 in 30? The Houston Rockets!

Between them and the Trail Blazers, there is no other team that's going to get themselves a bandwagon jumper. But there's real reason to like the Rockets.

Ron Artest brings the I'm Gonna Kill You swagger. Yao and T-Mac bring the soft, injury-prone superstardom. Shane Battier is the intangible play. Skip to my Lou and the Franchise bring nickname magic to the point. Luther Head brings a silly last name and three point bombery.

And lest we forget? Carl Landry. He's a well-loved reserve! Luis Scola. HE'S FROM ARGENTINA!

Seriously. This team has a bit of a swagger. It's a return to innocence in Houston.

30 in 30: Jazzamaphones.

If the city voted just above a Chinese prison for its special dissidents is going to the finals? It has to be this year. Their starting five is great. You know they're great.

But the bench? The bench is more than mere spare parts.

Kyle Korver is a gunner.
Morris Almond killed it in the D-League.
Matt Harpring is guts and nuts.
Paul Millsap is the reason why people shouldn't fear Boozer leaving.
Kosta Koufos is a Memhet Okur clone. It's the right team for him.

Oh? And did we mention C.J. Miles has bills-paying skills.

They may not go to the finals, but somebody's got a tough out to get past them.

30 in 30: Golden State

Monta Ellis got his shit rocked by a moped. Chris Mullin is getting hit with the squeeze play. Marcus Williams is forced into proving the draft condoscenti right in reference to his draft stealery. But the question?

Is there hope in San Fran? Yes.

1. They drafted spectacularly.

In theory, anyway. Anthony Randolph has shown an ability to be spectacular in flashes. And he may be more than mere projectable upside. And Richard Hendrix has an opportunity to be more than Paul Millsap. This may be a fluke, I mean the two years previous have not brought much than motivation for Anthony Randolph and a guy I get confused for Kids in the Hall Writer Paul Bellini.

2. They may just let Jackson play for the contract and then get out.

I mean, they have Auzibuke and Magette in year one of the contact, right? Why extend a headcase like Steven Jackson? But they might. And if they do? Disregard this message.

3. Don Nelson is a drunken genius.

He'll get this team interesting by March.

30 Previews in 30 Hours? The Fighting McCain/Palins...

Honestly, there are plenty of similarities between the Dallas Mavericks and John McCain. They were more popular in the early parts of the decade. Everybody loved the 2000 Dallas Mavericks, amirite?

Anyway, they stopped being revolutionary, and they moved closer to their base, and then the "big bold move?" It exploded in their face.

That being said? There is some hope for the old warhorses. If Rick Carlisle doesn't attempt to murder Josh Howard for his eccentricities? This is still a team with a pretty solid rotation.

Kidd/Terry/Howard/Nowitzki has a window of opportunity that's closing fast however. And if Howard or Nowitzki get hurt? This team could disappear fast. But yet? This is an on paper playoff team.

30 previews in 30 Hours: Pacers.

The team that has decided to become a more "character based" entity has a problem. Why? Because they are not willing to commit to Danny Granger. Which if you think about it? It's kind of bullshit. Why? Because it's a walk year.

This means Granger is going to play to win the contract. This means Mike Dunelavy is going to be upset. This means Granger leaves Indiana. All because they wouldn't extend him.

Am I calling Larry Bird a racist? Maybe...

The Chcago Bulls 30 in 30?

The Good: They have Derrick Rose and his tremendous upside potential. There is a good team in between all of the spare parts. Vinny Del Negro looks like Luke Wilson if he had down syndrome. And there is a good team here amongst the parts.

The Bad: That being said? The window of opportunity for this team slammed shut when Paxson refused to trade three of his parts for Kobe.

The Ugly: Ben Gordon may be the leading scorer again. After that offseason? That's no good.

Final Analysis: They'll contend with the Bucks for the cellar.

The Toronto Raptors 30 in 30?

The Raptors are built for speed. They do not have the strongest and toughest frontcourt. But they are built for speed.

Put it another way? They've got the frontcourt case of the Clippers. If Jermaine O'Neal can bring it to the shorties for 75 games? They've got a good shot at the conference semifinals.

That is, if Yi doesn't punch out Jose Calderon Kermit Washingon style.

Dun dun dunnnh?

30 in 30? Your Philadelphia 76ers

The Sixers intrigue me. Sure Elton Brand was a man who had controversy as he rolled up on the city where it's always Sunny. But look at the facts.

1. Andre Miller is as awesome as what he was when he was a Cavalier.
2. Willie Green has developed into a pretty steady two guard who will take the big shot if the big names won't.
3. Andre Igoudala is a man who now can just be the open court elevator man if he doesn't want to.
4. Elton Brand. Twenty and Ten.
5. Samuel Dalembert. With Brand? He may get 13 or more boards per game.
6. Louis Williams is double figure scoring off the bench.
7. Royal Ivey is a steady back-up who doesn't turn the ball over.
8. Thaddeus Young's upside is tremendous.
9. Reggie Evans is gritty and gutty.
10. And Marreese Speights? He's a rookie with upside.

There's hope in Philly. They can get deep in the playoffs this season. And in fact? If you're rooting for new hotness over old and busted? Go Sixers.

30 in 30? LA Clippers

The question in regards to the Clip Joint? Do you believe in Jason Hart? We all know about Baron Davis. We know what magic he can do. And he'll make the team great. When he's around.

But if he's not? There are plenty of parts who can work magic, but if you're a team without a competent frontman? You fall off the cliff. They have three good two guard options, Al Thornton, Marcus Camby and Chris Kaman.

They can make the playoffs if the Baron can get 75 games. But if it's only 48?

Then we can safely disregard this team.

30 in 30! Your Detroit Pistons!

You know what the Pistons team reminds me of? The Disney Channel? Yes, the Malice at the Palace reminds me of the Disney Channel. Why?

Because this is a team in transition. And what was once the hot young stars? They are about to be eaten. Chauncey Billups is about to be replaced by Rodney Stuckey, who ironically is not sucky. Antonio McDyess is going to be the broken down ex-superstar who gets replaced by the energetic Jason Maxiel or the would be Lamar Odom in Walter Sharpe. And eveybody who's read Darko knows it's only a matter of time before Amir Johnson renders Tayshaun Prince obsolete because he's younger and faster.

Also? Watch out for Cheikh Samb. He supposedly got 30 pounds of muscle.

There's a blockbuster coming down the pike if this team struggles. If not? Expect some new blood for next season.

30 in 30 for the Knicks.

They're a bad team. But I can think of five reasons to root for your new Your Knicks! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

1. Jamal Crawford and Quentin Richardson are bombers who can fit perfectly in the seven seconds or less system.

2. Chris Duhon may not have the quicknessof a Steve Nash, but he can distribute like a professional.

3. Nate Robinson is adorable in the vein of Leandro Barbosa!

4. David Lee's here for the shorties. And the white people.

5. Also, James Dolan is a d-bag. The possibility that he may lose 30 million dollars for his sheer incompetence? Sweet.

Check back next year.

30 in 30? The New Jersey Nets!

They have punted until 2010. They are a point guard who got a wicked googily upside his head. A two-guard who is the epitome of overrated hoopster. Hope that Chris Douglas-Roberts hits his upside. A 40 year old Chinaman, and Colussus when the X-Men sequel hits.

Brook always liked the Claremont-Byrne X-Men. So, that being said. They may not be a playoff team this year, but they will not be one of those shitty teams who decide to grind it out.

Remember? I'm a Bucks fan. Scott Skiles is slowly killing me.

Do you understand me now, John Shabe?