Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I have become a technological luddite.

Somewhere along the line? It happened. I don't know the whys and wherefores, but right now? I feel as if I am locked in to where my technology is. My computer? A desktop from 2000. My video game system? PS2. My TV isn't flat screen, let alone high-def.

And yet? I do the social networking thing. I do the facebook, and I do the twitter. And both have decided to make a layout chance in recent weeks. Facebook? They just did it. Pull the band aid.

I liked the old facebook, but you know what? It's done. And it's inoffensive.

As for twitter? The new twitter layout is clunky and unpleasing visually. Too much information, too wide of columns. Just too much of everything. I said to myself, self? I'm keeping old twitter for as long as possible.

Viva old twitter.

And there were hints that Twitter did not want me to do this. The Blue Bar up top that said, "New Twitter is Here! Switch to New Twitter!" to "You're using an older version of Twitter that won't be around for much longer. Switch to new twitter." And I would passively resist. I figured they would decide that to move me.

Then came last night? And twitters automatic retweet function, which I initially disliked, but I got used to, swung from annoyingly stupid to ridiculous. For you see? If someone would find a statement from a Patton Oswalt or a Brandon Jennings as something for their timeline? I would get a message.

  • Wondering who this is?
  • Someone you follow thought this was worth retweeting, which is why you are seeing it in your Home timeline. Learn more.

It happened once? I thought it weird. But then someone got retweet happy. And for every. single. retweet. I would get this message? I searched to see if I could file a request to turn this off? I couldn't. I asked twitter support to help. It didn't. I yelled at twitter to turn it off. Nada. I hurled expletives at random. And nothing happened.

Then it hit me.

I switched to New Twitter. I thought that was the trick. The bar would disappear and I wouldn't go back. But you know what? It didn't. I had the option to return, and I did.

But there was one certain subtle difference. When I was in new twitter land? It was still as ugly as sin? But I did not get that message. Return to old twitter, and I got the message.

So it comes to this. I'm not going to move from Old Twitter. They can ask me if I have no idea who Oprah or Tiger Woods is. I'm not moving. This is where I make my stand.

Drag me into the ugly, or let me keep my beautiful James Shields cracking Manny Ramirez in the face background, and let me keep old twitter. But just because you decide to change something that was working just fine does not mean you can try dickery to get me to move off my little piece of internet land.

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