Sunday, November 30, 2008

Somebody Creatively Got My Idea Out First...

And good looking out on the company you keep Derrick Ward.

This I do not like...

Last year was a bad winter in Wisconsin. Goes without saying.

But this storm? This storm is a bad omen. We have a forecast of 1-2 inches on Friday right? It moves up to 3 to 6 on Saturday. Now? It's 5 to 7 with Blowing and drifting snow.

And as patterns go? It's 2007-2008 all over again. The forecast of snow? It just keeps going up. And up. And up.

This state is trying to kill me.

UPDATE: 5 to 7 has doubled back to 2 to 5. Less of tilt.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

I believe the Big 12 South should secede.

I believe Texas is going to get screwed. They beat Oklahoma on a neutral site. The Texas Tech experience does not matter. Texas beat Oklahoma. Neutral site. It took a fluke drop for Tech to beat Texas in Lubbock and Tech gave everything, and the Roz means irvrething for that game.

But the Grandies are in the tank for Oklahoma. Sam Bradford is an American hero. Joaquin Iglesias is a Holy Wide Receiver. And DeMarco Murray? He's spectacular.


But Michael Crabtree? He's the best receiver in the Big 12. And even if Graham Harrell is gone? Taylor Potts is dreamy. Or a damn dirty three-starred hippie. Whatever. Boy needs to remember the first rule of picture day.


And Oklahoma State's is powered by the wind. And their most key triplets shall be returning. High scores for everybody! Yaaay!

Baylor will win six games next year and a bowl game by 2010. What in the name of Grant Teaff has is going on with Baylor? Hope. Hope and Robert Griffin.

Robert Griffin III Pictures, Images and Photos

And Texas A&M becoming a basketball school? I have three words as a bitter Packer fan for that.


Thursday, November 27, 2008

I am thankful for video games...

It allows me to ignore the blog and not feel bad about it.

And it's not like I have a new system or anything. I have a PS2. I'm playing Bully. Re-playing Bully. It's why I'm ignoring you.

A Game from 2006 has taken over. What are you going to do about?

Be back on Sunday. Or Saturday if the mood strikes.


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

So? Can Utah Make the National Championship Game?

Yes, in the same sort of way a Democrat could have won in Oklahoma.

Because here's how it needs to happen. And exactly this way.

1. Beat San Diego State: Goes without saying. Win by 70 if you could.
2. Florida State beats Florida.
3. Auburn beats Alabama.
4. Baylor beats Texas Tech.
5. Oklahoma State beats Oklahoma.
6. Florida beats Alabama.
7. Missouri beats Texas.
8. UCLA beats USC.

And even then? Utah still would have to vault Penn State to make a case for themselves. Because the Big 10 love to enter the National Championship through the backdoor. And lose by 30.

Thanks for stopping in, Utah. Enjoy facing the hot team that doesn't make the BCS.

Monday, November 24, 2008

First graders aren't the only thing giving me a stomachache.

Enough with the "Will Brett Favre be a better quarterback than Aaron Rodgers if he stayed?" question. It's moot. Flat out. Apples and Oranges.

I know what you're saying. The AFC East is a much tougher division than the NFC North. Favre's completing 70% of his own passes. The Jets have a chance at making the Super Bowl, right? Let me tell you something. There are several reasons why the Jets Packer comparison is moot and we can start with that whole "The AFC East has every team over .500" chestnut.

1. The AFC East has 8 winnable games.

They have a schedule that gives them half a season versus the AFC and NFC West, and while Arizona can be a challenge when Warner has his stride going, and if Denver has their shootout on (which hasn't happened much lately) they can get the duke, if this doesn't give you 6 wins? Your coach should be fired.

On the other hand? The Packers have the AFC and NFC South. The AFC South has two challenges and a third team that's dangerous at home. And the NFC South has been winning most of their winnable games. (Does that mean they are getting fat of the North? Perhaps. But there's only one gimme in the NFC North. Hi Detroit.)

By a comparison of scheduling by opponents records?
Green Bay 65-56
Jets 55-66-1

That's about 80 percentage points. Or a game or two in terms of real value. And both teams have pretty downy end of the season.

2. The Running Game.

Now while Ryan Grant has not been special like last year, he has been highly competent. But in comparison to the Jets? There has not been been much running done. The main guys have got about 4 yards per carry. The Jets? 4.6. And the Jets have 13 scores in comparison to the Packers 9. So what does this mean? The Jets quarterback just needs to be merely competent.

3. The Jets interior is highly superior.

In the back seven and the skill positions? The skill sets are roughly equal. But with the additions of Alan Faneca, Damien Woody, and Kris Jenkins? This team can dominate the ball on both sides of the line. And this means that when Favre is bad Brett? The Jets can still win games.

So what does it all mean? It means if the Packers decided to take Brett back? They would still struggle for consistency. They may be on the right side of .500, but then again? Bad Brett could have cost them versus Seattle or something.


And as for the finals of the Paradise Jam

If Brian Butch was granted a 27th year of eligibility, maybe I could see UConn getting upset versus your Wisconsin Badgers, but unless Jon Leuer can get Hasheem Thabeet to cover his Brad Lohausian game? The Badgers are going to struggle.

UConn should win by fifteen on paper. I can see that. Something like 76-60.

And remember? Who said Cal Poly could beat Wisco?

Me. I know my Badgers. They are overrated or just plain bad.

UPDATE: UConn 76-Wisconsin 57. I'm missing being scary good by 3.

Sorry about yesterday...

I was finding myself getting pulled back in to loving fantasy football. I rose up and kicked a little ass for the USA. I sewed a flag, I climbed a mountain, and I flew on an eagle.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

A hypothetical question about P.J. Carliesimo?

By now you may have heard that P.J. will not be coaching the former Seattle Sonics. And I have to wonder. If you were P.J. do you regret the 1989 run for the NCAA Championship?

After all, most people don't remember you were an awesome college coach. Most people don't remember that you took a team in an environment that's nearly impossible to win. And it took a superhuman effort by Rumeal Robinson to stop that. He was talented and famous.

Now? No matter his competency as an assistant coach, all he's gonna be known for as the throat to Spreewell's hands and being the head lame duck in Seattle. If he just stayed quiet.


If you're like me, and if you're reading this, you clearly are. You see some parallels between the 2008 Knicks and the Jack McCallum documented edition of the Phoenix Suns. Chris Duhon is the Dollar Tree Steve Nash. Nate Robinson is the shetland Leandro Barbosa. And Starbury is Amare in the microfracture season.

And as for the salary dump? It works out too. Tim Thomas is only worth a damn when he lucks his way onto a winning team or his contract's up. So next year he's a rotational stud. But as for this year. He will be feast or famine. D'Antoni knows it. We all do.

And with Cuttino Mobley's ability beyond the arc? Duhon could dribble drive some suckers four/fifths of the way into Steve Nash territory.

Instead of you know, three fifths.

And as for the Clippers? Fuck them. Kaman's going to go to clear space.

Friday, November 21, 2008

I will disavow any knowledge of this post if I am wrong.

Even if I am on the front page with it. It will never have happened if I'm wrong.

But you have a team that has shown an ability to put points on the board in a rapid manner. You have a team that can stop the run and attack the perimeters with pretty good speed. You have the Pharoh. And they're going up against a team with nothing to really play for.

Ramses and Cal Poly can pyramid the Badgers Buzzy Beetle on Level 2 of Super Mario Bros. 3 style.

But if I'm wrong. I'm deleting this.

And now the Knicks are on the LeBron James hunt...

You know what? The Golden State Warriors have got a shot at being a spectacularly hot mess. Nellie is going to have himself four starting two guards and Andres Biedrins with the return of Monta Ellis and his Faggio infused mid-range game. And you know what? Anthony Morrow is still rolling up on people with high-scoring spot startery.

And the only reason why I did not mention the Immortal Mr. Kelenna is because I don't even want to try his last name. CHANGE IT TO SOMETHING AMERICAN PLEASE!

Warriors fans may not be fired up about it. But America? America loves a team that is in the midst of a positional clusterfuck. And Nellie's just drunk enough to love his situation. He is, after all, what Tom Ziller reports as stoked.

If you want to really be stoked, Nellie? Take a brotip from the Grandies. Sign Chris Lofton. He can create his own shot. And he's a two guard!


Thursday, November 20, 2008

Visit a Friend of Blog...OMDQ

He breaks down the greatest World Series endings off all time.

So why am I still holding on to a chance at a Sabathia return?

I am not stupid. I know that 6/130 and he's a Giant. Or a Yankee. Or a Dodger.

But why can't the Brewers sign him?

1) It doesn't sound like he's fired up and ready to go into pinstripes.

Sabathia is a man who already has a wife and two kids. And the fact of the matter is that he seems to be a man who does not need the complications of life that time in New York would bring. Not to say that it's a bad thing. But it is to say that he may take a more laid back tack in terms of where he spends the prime of his career.

(And yes. This does mean California No Doubt About It As Well.)

2) Cost of Living...

The cost of buying the best place is a definite concern. Or it should be. A place on Strong Island is one thing. Kicking it with Audrinas is one thing. A place in Wauwatosa is something else entirely. It could be cost a seasons salary in the larger market for home alone.

And the best time of his professional life was in Milwaukee.

3) The next deal.

If I was his agent? I would take fewer years on this deal. A 4-year deal with little to no falloff in his play? He gets one more massive contract. A 6-year deal? He falls back to Zito Money.

Not saying. Just saying there's a chance.


I have a Lloyd Christmasian Optimism...

About the Brewers re-signing CC.

I'll explain later. Just got called in from the bullpen to work some long relief. A.K.A. Substituting for 2nd Graders.

Later on dudes and lady dudes.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Bitch Slap!

I like movie trailers where they all have the little descriptive names, so you can easily stereotype each character. It eliminates any need for thought.
I'm pretty sure all that entered my mind while watching that was, "Boobs!" and "Guns!" and "Blowing shit up!"

Please do enjoy.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


The Sacrilicious Boredom that a 16 day old post of a Wrestling Lady Named Tiffany Brings you to the end of this evening.

Taryn Terrell Pictures, Images and Photos

Go with God.

Old Blog Comment Theatre!

From the post...YIFF IN HELL!!!

well when you say yiff should be banned, your denying peoples rights, specifaccly the right to life liberty and the persuit of happyness (which in fact legalized gay marraige at the time of the writing of the constitution) really i see nothing wrong with this, it's what some people like. I also see that people like you who hate things just because there different and it's not based on there ideals. so they like sex so does everyone else whose human. It's like any fetish like bondage. People like you make me think that some people have no life except to advocate the banning of something that is in reality granted by the constitution.


This has been Old Blog Comment Theatre!

Elvi bettering himself has fucked this blog.

A treatise on Agent Zero.

Once upon a time, Gilbert Arenas was a guard with a chip on his shoulder a phenomenal swagger and an ability to score fueled by revenge and a hyperbaric chamber. We all loved him. Even after he said that every move was a simple calculation, we still loved him.

And then he hurt his knee. He rehabbed. And he came back. For thirteen games.

And those among us who are among the more casual of NBA Fans? His Gilbertology became hack. Hey look! Gilbert Stole a Joke! Hey! Gilbert cheats at Halo! Hey! Gilbert Hates Milwaukee! So I Brown Recluse Esquire shall hate them too!


And now? After he gets a nine-figure contract and another knee injury that for which his return has been delayed for. All he is now is his blog and his antics. Even the most ardent supporters are pining for the days when Gil was king. And I've figured it out.

If you are going to present yourself as a character? You have to bring something else to the table. If circumstances force you away from being the Day Man? You are stuck with only being the night man.

When Gil returns? He can bring back the karate and friendship. I may come back and be the asshole fan who rolls up with love when he becomes awesome again. But if your gimmick is esoteric awesome and you get hurt. My advice?

Stealth mode son.

I hate to say it.

Because the general Cub fan annoys the shit out of me.

But Dempster? At 4 years and 52 million? That's actually a good signing. They didn't overpay for Ryan Dempster.


If you're a congressman?

Harry Reid Pictures, Images and Photos
Is it true you have to be tone deaf?

Yes. And the Democrats just saved Joe Lieberman's life. Again. Yeah, you know what. I know Obama was feeling magnaminous. But this shit is bullshit.

Joe Lieberman has had a history of throwing the Democrats under the bus. The Republicans don't like him much either. Why is this interesting? Because of the pipe dream of 60 senate seats. (And I love Jim Martin for not being Saxby Chambliss, but let's be honest. The third party candidate is a Libertarian. Libertarians do not swing sharply Democratic.)

The Democrats sold out the voters and kept Lieberman in front and center, because they just had to get this shit done now. Just trying to thread the needle.

And you know what the stupidest part of the decision, if they just haaaaaaaaaaaaaaad to handle this situation now was?

They could not dump that news out on a Friday like a sane Politician would.

I mean, Harry Reid is a hack, but even I know that if you're going to break some gutless news? You do it when people don't want to pay attention to the news!

God! All it took for me was an episode of The West Wing and I'm smarter than the Senate Majority Leader!


Monday, November 17, 2008

The Most Insanely Early Bracketology that you have ever seen!

The 64 best teams...with no conference games. And I will name a champion. For boredom shits and giggles. If we had to have a big dance to end the year? Who would win. I'll tell you.

1st Round

1 Niagra vs. 16 South Carolina
8 Oklahoma vs. 9 Towson
5 Xavier vs. 12 Stony Brook
4 Nebraska vs. 13 UCF
6 Seton Hall vs. 11 Ohio
3 Texas vs. 14 Villanova (No D.J. Augustin equals upset.)
7 Maine vs. 10 Memphis
2 Wake Forest vs. 15 Kansas

1 Washington State vs. 16 Auburn*
8 Tennessee vs. 9 New Mexico State
5 Notre Dame vs. 12 Oklahoma State
4 Texas Tech vs. 13 UAB
6 Marquette vs. 11 Mississippi State (VANARDO'D!)
3 Vanderbilt vs. 14 Iona
7 Florida vs. 10 Iowa
2 Georgia Tech vs. 15 Indiana

1 Creighton vs. 16 Colorado
8 Duquesne vs. 9 UConn
5 Wyoming vs. 12 Illinois
4 Manhattan vs. 13 Army
6 Michigan State vs. 11 Virginia Commonwealth
3 Michigan vs. 14 Iowa State
7 Brown vs. 10 USC
2 West Virginia vs. 15 Lehigh

1 Northwestern vs. 16 Arkansas Little-Rock
8 Colorado State vs. 9 Georgia
5 Rhode Island vs. 12 UCLA
4 Texas A&M vs. 13 USF
6 Purdue vs. 11 Pittsburgh
3 Duke vs. 14 Belmont
7 Maryland vs. 10 Clemson
2 New Mexico vs. 15 Temple

2nd Round

16 South Carolina vs. 8 Oklahoma
5 Xavier vs. 4 Nebraska
14 Villanova vs. 6 Seton Hall
10 Memphis vs. 2 Wake Forest

1 Washington State vs. 8 Tennessee
5 Notre Dame vs. 13 UAB
11 Mississippi State vs. 3 Vanderbilt
7 Florida vs. 2 Georgia Tech

1 Creighton vs. 9 UConn
12 Illinois vs. 4 Manhattan
6 Michigan State vs. 3 Michigan
10 USC vs. 2 West Virginia

1 Northwestern vs. 9 Georgia
12 UCLA vs. 4 Texas A&M
6 Purdue vs. 3 Duke
10 Clemson vs. 2 New Mexico


8 Oklahoma vs. 5 Xavier
14 Villanova vs. 10 Memphis

1 Washington State vs. 5 Notre Dame
3 Vanderbilt vs. 7 Florida

9 UConn vs. 12 Illinois
6 Michigan State vs. 2 West Virginia

9 Georgia vs. 12 UCLA
6 Purdue vs. 10 Clemson


8 Oklahoma vs. 10 Memphis

5 Notre Dame vs. 3 Vanderbilt

9 UConn vs. 6 Michigan State (Because Tom izzo would not take being slept on kindly.)

12 UCLA vs. 6 Purdue

10 Memphis vs. 5 Notre Dame
6 Michigan State vs. 12 UCLA

5 Notre Dame vs. 12 UCLA

Champion? 12 UCLA

Two things I learned? Purdue would have the toughest road by a million. Also. Georgia and Illinois would be downy soft sweet 16. Also? This was kinda dumb.


Arm Punts...are for the children...

Click here, okay?

Anyone who thinks this is a well-deserved MVP Award for Pujols?

Is wrong. Flat wrong.

Nobody was more valuable to their team this season than C.C. Sabathia. He broke through the wild card glass ceiling. I can say this with a safe distance, because nobody is going to look it up. But his value over replacement player? Prorated? Best in the NL.

But writers are idiots. So fuck you BBWAA. You had no right having Sabathia fucking 6th.

Hold the Line...Love Isn't Always On Time

pok Pictures, Images and Photos

I caught the second half of the Duke-Rhode Island game on the radio. And nothing would have been a better capper for the day after the Packers rolled the Bears for their first place bankrolls. And Jim Baron Junior went crazy go nuts. Stephen Curry in the tourney nuts.

But it was not enough.

Why? Because you need a frontcourt threat to beat Duke. And there is nobody even remotely Joe Alexander at Rhode Island. It was a noble effort. And if the team can live off of nobility, Dionte Christmas best be worried.

I still don't care. Duke sucks at being unpretentious.


Saturday, November 15, 2008

Jarrett Lee is Samsara.

By now you've heard the fact that LSU was down 4 scores to Troy. In the Bayou. And by now you know that Jarrett Lee has thrown a pick for a score in 70% of LSU's games. But did you know that he is the holy life of the Southeastern Conference. He is the man who is bringing back the balance to the SEC.

I mean, a two-loss team gets the National Championship? You didn't think there would be some form of payback for this sort of impudence? Jarrett Lee is that payback. He is the holy deed of football.

And his presence will wash America clean of Charlie Weis.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Hey Rog? We need to talk.

You know what happened yesterday. You saw it. Even if I didn't. Or 80% of America. The Jets and the Patriots had a classic that just might have allowed Matt Cassel's NFL balls to drop. And maybe an utterance of the New York Jets as a potential AFC contender wouldn't be a joke either.

But we didn't see it. We couldn't see it. Somebody's having a cognitive dissonance problem. My tag team partner's already turned away from the NFL. I'm coming close.

But you can save it. You can save my love of the NFL. And it's easier than you think. Really. Consider this a position paper. Consider this your path to redemption.

1. Get over yourself on the NFL Network.

Your demands for the channel are exorbitant. If you want to be on the basic cable tier, you need to take the same money as The Golf Channel. Otherwise, you're going to remain on the expanded cable tier as well as in obscurity. You're not Baseball, you're not pro basketball. You need all your games to be seen by more than a potential 42 million viewers. What you miss in terms of revenue by this obstinance? It's staggering.

2. Fix the NFL Network Game.

I'm about 120 minutes away from Green Bay. I could not get an NFL Network game from there. Which is stupid. Am I right Bemidji Vikings fan? So if you have a certain insistence that you have to have a game on the NFL Network? Three ways to go about it.

A. Make the game a Sunday Afternoon B Game. A lot of people want options versus the network A-Teams. I mean, who gets excited for listening to Joe Buck talk?
B. Expand the fuck out of the NFL's definition of Local Markets. I mean really. Let Edwardsville watch the Bears for fuck's sake!
C. The NFL Network takes all the games no one else wants. Seriously. Bengals Chiefs. That's what the NFL Network is for.

3. Get your discipline house in order.

Who would have thought that the NFL would have problems with fines, referees, and fines based on criticisms of officiating? Common sense your shit for fucks sake!

4. Murder Brett Favre.

Okay, not literally. But the big problem is ESPN. ESPN just has to have a saga that they can beat into the ground. Now some have a certain legitmacy a.k.a. when the leashes broke. But eighty percent of the time?

Manufactured bullshit.

After the draft? It's nothing more than a Brett Favre-Terrell Owens-Chris Mortensen got ANOTHER STORY WRONG clusterfuck. Why am I telling you this? Because you have the power to stop it. You killed Playmakers. You can force a 60-day hiatus of NFL live. And if you do it in the days and nights between the draft and the opening of training camp.

Either that or give us Wacky Clinton Portis Costumes. He's awesome again!

Clinton Portis Pictures, Images and Photos

Comedy can save us all Rog.

Comedy can save us all.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

10 Mysteries that will haunt me.

I have things that I want to ask. Hypotheticals and rhetoricals. I am perplexed by things. I need to bring them out into the ether. If they get answered? Awesome.

If not, that's okay too?

1. If you're the University of Clemson and you have James Davis and C.J. Spiller in your backfield, why would you have them go this deep into the season without 200 combined carries?

2. Alaska, what the fuck? They're felons. FELONS!

3. Why does ESPN try and tout the Trojans as a national title contender? It is not going to happen. Never. Ever.

4. If W. was made with a director who didn't have his head up his ass, would it be awesome?

5. Will CC Sabathia get 175 million dollars over six years?

6. Can I have some of Frank Miller's drugs? For someone who was such good friends with Will Eisner in life, how did he make a tribute movie so shitty in death?

7. Will America have their own Ewa Sonnet?

8. The folks at the Dugout need their own Instant Message Book Deal? They need to be the Chuck Todd of Baseball Book Deals, am I right? Joey Votto's mom would approve.

9. Robert Wagner as Mr. Wilson? I am aghast! Aghast!

10. I believe in Rashad Jennings. He blows Peter Alima away in terms of Liberty's greatest athlete. Am I making this up?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I have to tell you...In Reference to Javon Ringer...

javon ringer Pictures, Images and Photos


Okay. A seeming bit of controversy there. I just rolled up on you and said that the most hyperproductive back that has the potential to be available in the 2009 Draft is going to be fail. I should bring something empirical to the table right? Right.

So let's go.

1. Injury History.

We'll break it down simply. A torn ACL in high school. A torn MCL. Add in a sprained ankle and shoulder surgery and you have to see that he's a mere mortal. And I know. It's a running back. Running backs can be gimpy. I can dig it. But most teams have nine games played. And if you look at the numbers? There's a scary number.

2. 353.

That's how many carries Javon Ringer has. There are many reasons to be scared of this number. One fact? 330 college carries in a season and you're in line to be a bust. Pro Football Prospectus had a list based on those who have 330 carries in a season. And while some special runners have had a place on that list (Barry Sanders, Adrian Peterson, Marcus Allen), there have a lot more boom than bust. For every O.J. Simpson there is a Byron Hanspard or a Troy Davis.

But you know what? Outside of Barry Sanders? There's certain facts that seperate the men from the busts.

3. Elusiveness.

Ringer doesn't have average, let alone special elusiveness. 4.4 YPC is very weak for this crop of top draft prospects. Arian Foster looks down at that shit, man.

4. Size.

In terms of his collegiate production, this season from Ringer is pretty eerily reminiscent of Badger one-year sensation Brian Calhoun. (348-1636-18). And you can add three games to Ringer's total. Why is this improtant? Because Ringer is 5'9" 205. And those listed who had success in the pros? All could be construed as big backs.

There you go. A four point reasoning as to why the Ringer will not have success as a professional. I am not saying this to denigrate the man. If he proves me wrong? I hope he's a Packer or in the AFC while he does that.

But I doubt it.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The Retirement of Salomon Torres...

It's what you would call inevitable, but surprising. Because you never expect an athlete to leave on a high note. Especially in Wisconsin.

/leaves you a minute to get the reference.

But you know what? Salomon isn't exactly someone whose proven to be...shall we say stable? Yeah. Let's go with that. He got broke by the 1994 Giants collapse. And then he came back. And unlike the annoying Gilbert Arenas? (Who did not have the good sense to go into stealth mode while his knees turned into a bowlful of jelly.) His fear of Milwaukee was quiet and dignified.

But the Brewers also rolled with Eric Gagne. And Salomon Torres finally got his shot at stardom. And he was a higthly competent closer for most of the season. In fact? I'd call him a folk hero.

And now he's gone.

We'll see you in three months Mr. Torres. I know you'll be back. We'll keep the rubber-armed 7th inning guy open for ya.

Will Graham Harrell be the next Andre Woodson?

Because if you look at it logically? It's happening that way.

For those of you who don't remember, here's a referesher on Andre Woodson. A prolific quarterback in a major conference who has a weird hitch in his delivery that turned a potential Jason Campbell into nothing more than Matt Flynn. (Now considering the shambles that the state of the Amfrican-American quarterback is currently in? You have to wonder if some nascent fears from the days of Marlin Briscoe had something to do with it.)

That being said? While the expectation was that Andre Woodson was making himself millions of dollars, you saw him plummet off the cliff. Nobody liked the intangibles, and he got cut for David Carr.

But like Andre Woodson's intangibles? You have to love the swagger and the stride that young Mister Harrell is bringing to the table. And while his arm is strong? He has the same sort of oh my god his delivery has a hitch in it. But here's where the twist comes in.

Graham Harrell has more strikes against him.

The Mike Leach offense does not have any check-downs. It's one read and fire. And while Stevie Johnson and Dicky Lyons Jr. comported themselves with a dignified competency, Woodson never had anything close to Michael Crabtree (and don't sleep on Danny Amendola coming out in 2010-2011 with a surprising season. He's a Wes Welker in build and scouting report.)

And you know what else? System quarterbacks are made of fail. Jeff Tedford has had only one success in the pros. Steve Spurrier had one less. Urban Meyer had some classic draft busts. (Remember Omar Jacobs?) And Kliff Kingsbury was the best of the Mike Leach quarterbacks. He...was practice squad at best.

So what does it all mean? Sixth round value unless he can take the step that Colt Brennan and Andre Woodson couldn't.

Friday, November 7, 2008


I'm gonna take a week off and recharge.

See if I can get the love again.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Can Utah make the National Championship game?

Yes. In the same way CC Sabathia may return to the Brewers.

Here's what has to happen.
Texas Tech loses.
Texas loses in the Big 12 title game.
Alabama or Florida have to lose once and win the SEC Title Game.
Penn State loses.

And Utah still has to take BYU.

The second and the third ones are the ones that kill Utah's chances.

Now I'm Done!

The Breakdown: Contract Riders...

Now we all know the story of the so called rock 'n' rolla whom has demanded only brown M & M's. And of course that's true. But didja know that ballplayers have their own wacky demands? IT'S TRUE!

Because I typed it in all caps. So shall we look at the facts? Yes. Let's look at the facts.

Brad Ausmus: Oddly, he's demanding to vote for Barack Obama.
Paul Bako: Wants a new first name. "Gabor" Bako is something he's been running from his entire life.
Josh Bard: He wants a do over on his walk year.
Michael Barrett: Demands to know what the hell has happened to his career.
Henry Blanco: God may not like ugly, but whatever team signs him sure will. He wants a new face.
Johnny Estrada: The head of Ned Yost.
Toby Hall: He must be called the scappy Javier Valentin.
Paul Lo Duca: 100 chicken wings from a local Hooters.
Ivan Rodriguez: Ugueth Urbina released from prison.
David Ross: Demands to investigate any report that he finds.
Javier Valentin: He must be called the cool Toby Hall.
Jason Varitek: No backlash if he ever calls Detroit a stinking hellhole.
Gregg Zaun: A weekly column devoted to film criticism.

First Basemen
Rich Aurilia: He wants a shot at a speaking role on General Hospital.
Sean Casey: 5 percent of his salary must be donated to Labels are for Jars.
Tony Clark: Three comely lasses for every road game.
Nomar Garciaparra: Bubble wrap. Lots and lots of bubble wrap.
Eric Hinske: Only world series contenders may consider signing Eric Hinske's good luck charmery.
Doug Mientkiewicz: The only offensive stat he wants to see? OPS+
Kevin Millar: In every baseball video game, Millar is to be named Chief Kickingstallions in perpituity.
Richie Sexson: Will fly into a rage if you mention him anywhere near the same breath of old players skills. And his hearing is like that of a superhero with lame powers.
Mark Teixeira: Demands a six-issue comic book to be written by Matt Fraction and drawn by Mark Teixiera.
Daryle Ward: Butch Huskey has to take twenty percent of his at-bats.

Second Basemen
Willie Bloomquist: He will not go by William even if William Bloomquist would be an infinitely more awesome name.
Ray Durham: Wants Mick Zupan to stop editing his Wikipedia entry.
Damion Easley: Must be called a crafty veteran by local media writers.
Mark Grudzielanek: A six-pack of Miller High Life for every double that he hits.
Orlando Hudson: Naked photo's of Bea Arthur.
Tadahito Iguchi: Must be managed by a close personal friend.
Jeff Kent: Demands Jeff Suppan join him in anoiting Sarah Palin the last best hope in saving America.
Mark Loretta: A box of Nature Valley granola bars at his locker 90 minutes before every game.
Pete Orr: One pound of back bacon for every Triple-A game he plays.
Nick Punto: Must be provided with a clear explanation of VORP before every at bat.

Orlando Cabrera: The love of Dorchester, in bottled form.
Alex Cintron: Vodka. Lots and lots of Vodka.
Alex Cora: $10,000 for every at-bat that goes beyond ten pitches.
Craig Counsell: Demands one hundred thousand dollars for every point of isolated on base percentage he had during the season.
David Eckstein: Wants Shawn Chacon for the MLBWF X-Division belt.
Adam Everett: Must buy the rights to Kurt Angle's WWF Ebntrance Music for your gold glove hero.
Rafael Furcal: Must have 30 minutes of bunting practice before every game.
Jerry Hairston Jr.: The healing powers of Jeff Kent.
Cesar Izturis: An exorcist to remove the spirit from Billy Urbanski's body.
Felipe Lopez: Would want people to stop calling him the Spanish Michael Jordan.
Edgar Renteria: An audience with Colombian songstress Shakira.
Juan Uribe: Three Desert Eagles per season.
Ramon Vazquez: Everone must call him bleep.
Omar Vizquel: State of the art sculpting supplies must be afforded to him on every road trip.

Third Basemen
Hank Blalock: To get Brad Fullmer to stop drunk dialing him.
Aaron Boone: Free removal of wife's I Love Glen tattoo.
Russell Branyan: One Million Dollars for every OPS+ point over 100.
Joe Crede: Shave the head of the owner upon contract signing.

Left Fielders
Moises Alou: Obvious jokes are obvious, but demands a first ballot induction into the Baseball Hall of Pretty Good.
Garret Anderson: All beat writers must call him a professional hitter.
Emil Brown: A Red Ryder BB gun.
Pat Burrell: The ability to bedazzle his abs.
Adam Dunn: $1,000 to strikeouts for troops for every strikeout.
Raul Ibanez: A knife to be delivered into the throat of Kid Rock.
Kevin Mench: Apparently wants Keith David to announce all his at-bats.
Craig Monroe: Belts. Lots and lots of belts.
Greg Norton: Every at bat of his must be approved John Vander Wal.
Jay Payton: 162 spray bottles of Old Spice "Swagger."
Manny Ramirez: Demands the services of "Mister Wonderful" Paul Orndorff to help him maximize the heat on his heel turn.
Juan Rivera: Demands to be known as "Free Agent Bargain" Juan Rivera.

Center Fielders
Rocco Baldelli: One fifth of his contract must be paid in Top Ramen and Easy Mac and Cheese.
Jim Edmonds: Center field must be moved in by 10 feet, so he can achieve his dream of being the fifth infielder.
Mark Kotsay: A phone number that Kris Benson does not know about.
Corey Patterson: A secret embarrasing photo of someone in power.
Scott Podsednik: A warm hug from Doug Melvin before every game.

Right Fielders
Bobby Abreu: A halloween jack-o-lantern's worth of candy before every game.
Casey Blake: Vanilla Ice Cream after every game.
Brian Giles: His brother Marcus gets a minor league contract with a spring training invitation.
Ken Griffey Jr.: Must be able to make video game teams based on themes, The Chicago White Sox are so much the sketch comedians...Jim Thome is Farley Chris and so on.
Gabe Kapler: The master track of "You're the Best Around."
Jason Michaels: Three free assaults of local police officers.
Brad Wilkerson: An autographed Michael Owen jersey.

Milton Bradley: Mirror's Edge for the XBox 360.
Cliff Floyd: A metric ton of Japanese Hard Candy.
Jason Giambi: The day to day events of his life must be voiced over by Jon Glaser a.k.a. The Score Settler a.k.a. D.J. Jesus.
Mike Sweeney: Nothing. Too dignified for that contract rider shit.
Frank Thomas: Must be able to attack the cast of DeGrassi with pillows.
Jose Vidro: A signed Samuel. L Jackson publicity photo from Unbreakable.

Starting Pitchers
Kris Benson No one must mention the attractiveness of his spouse in his presence. The bitchiness? That's okay.
A.J. Burnett: That he be referred to as the "Arch-Duke of Awesome"
Paul Byrd: He must be given 30 minutes of "private spiritual time" before every start.
Roger Clemens: Three comely underage applicants of Nashville Star.
Matt Clement: A cushy job in the Pennsylvania Republican Party.
Bartolo Colon: One pound of chinese food before every game.
Ryan Dempster: 162 throwing stars and two nunchucks.
Shawn Estes: Everybody has to call him "Lefty Mark Gardener" or "Lefty Mark."
Josh Fogg: A contact with the devil.
Freddy Garcia: A lady fair with questionable sexual pecadilloes.
Jon Garland: To become the man whose presence brings about the Light Warriors.
Tom Glavine: Demands to talk to Chris Chelios about the benefits of playing professional hockey in his mid-40's.
Mike Hampton: Demands his own personal bubble.
Livan Hernandez: The corpse of Elden Auker.
Orlando Hernandez: Knee-high baseball socks.
Jason Jennings: Three head of cattle.
Randy Johnson: Seed money for his very own leftorium.
Kenshin Kawakami: A home with a strong Japanese base.
Braden Looper: Money to fix Weatherford, Oklahoma's Old Science Buliding.
Derek Lowe: A candied yam before every game.
Greg Maddux: The complete DVD set of "In The House."
Pedro Martinez: A legacy shattering multi-year contract.
Jamie Moyer: Wants to beat a preacher to death in a home bowling alley, because he's finished.
Mark Mulder: The fingers of that no-talent assclown Chris Carter.
Mike Mussina: Will spend time learning his next craft at the feet of puzzle master Will Shortz.
Carl Pavano: Ten photos of Alyssa Milano and Ben Sheets.
Brad Penny: Demands the personal services of Anna Lynne McCord before every start.
Odalis Perez: The signing of Valerio De Los Santos as his personal advisor.
Oliver Perez: Demands an incentive bonus of $10,000 for every batter that he walks last year.
Andy Pettitte: The Maximum allowable donation to Mitt Romney in 2012.
Sidney Ponson: Demands that his head be revalued.
Mark Prior: A gift certificate to outback steakhouse for every appearance on the disabled list. He loves the bloomin' onion. As well as the fact Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords promoted it. HE'S FROM NEW ZEALAND!
Kenny Rogers: Needs nothing. He knows when to walk away. Get it?
C.C. Sabathia: His own island.
Curt Schilling: A video game contract with Electronic Arts.
Ben Sheets: Demands multiple years. Will not get them. (Reeks of an LA Dodger 2 year/36 million dollar bust).
John Smoltz: A brand new set of Nike Titanium Irons.
Koji Uehara: Demands that his out pitch be named the Koji Cutter, but you need Satoshi Kojima's permission for that. And you don't want to cross him.
Randy Wolf: He gets time off from his team to pitch in every future rock and jock baseball type game.

Chad Cordero: A brand new Chrysler 300.
Brian Fuentes: A Chris Paul jersey. He hates Bowen. Like we all do.
Eric Gagne: Two pounds of back bacon for every blown lead.
Eddie Guardado: His number must be retired upon his return to Minnesota. He was everyday back when boy bands ruled the earth.
Trevor Hoffman: The rights to the Undertaker's theme music as long as he still pitches.
Jason Isringhausen: You remember that Jaime Moyer joke? Pretend I used it here. It's still funny. Right?
Brandon Lyon: He must be allowed to become the anti-hero that America needs.
Francisco Rodriguez: He wants to be named a Santerian Orisha.
Kerry Wood: Two tickets for Eddie Vedder at every home game.

Middle Relievers
Jeremy Affeldt: To face right handed batters.
Luis Ayala: A boxed set of the works of Tito Puente.
Joe Beimel: Demands to be able to liveblog the entirety of his negotiations.
Joe Borowski: 10 GI Joes for his sons a month.
Doug Brocail: Frank Fransisco must be on the roster so long as he is.
Shawn Chacon: He wants Ed Wade in the cage for Wrestlemania 25!
Juan Cruz: Demands to be named Closer in a shocking uprising in the first month of the season.
Alan Embree: A box of Nilla Wafers in his locker before every game.
Scott Eyre: The team must make the playoffs or he will exercise his out clause.
Kyle Farnsworth: He demands to be replaced in all off-field activities by his Dugout portayal.
Casey Fossum: His own personal catcher for all those wacky curveballs.
Keith Foulke: A small order of Burger King French fries.
Tom Gordon: Has no demands. Just wants his elbow to stop hurting.
LaTroy Hawkins: The corpse of Paul O'Neill.
Mark Hendrickson: Andy Sisco to help him on the low post.
Matt Herges: A minor league coaching job for his brother in-law.
Bob Howry: A rumor of him dating Ali Larter.
Jon Lieber: The bullpen must not resist his authority.
Jason Johnson: An autographed photo of Wilford Brimley.
Damaso Marte: He demands his weight in ironic hipster t-shirts.
Trever Miller: Defeated Senator Gordon Smith's lego hair.
Guillermo Mota: His own breakdancing team.
Will Ohman: No more fucking "Oh Man" jokes.
Darren Oliver: Nectar of the Gods. Honey. From Bees.
Chan Ho Park: A brand new kitchen for his home.
Horacio Ramirez: No demands. If you hire his ass? He'll be okay.
Al Reyes: Must be tasered after every game.
Dennys Reyes: Rich Garces as nutritionist.
Arthur Rhodes: A gem mint ten Colussus action figure.
Juan Rincon: Sopapillas from Casa Bonita and Chicken Nuggets from Chick Fil-A before every game.
Glendon Rusch: A copy of Krush Groove for his MP3.
Rudy Seanez: 38 Root Beer jellybeans.
Brian Shouse: A section of fans devoted to his inherient lefty one-out guyishness.
Russ Springer: A Barry Bonds baseball card staring at him in every locker.
Mike Timlin: Demands to those kids get off his lawn.
Ron Villone: A book advance of $100,000.
David Weathers: Wants me dead.
Kip Wells: A boxed set of the Poison Ivy movies for the bullpen.
Matt Wise: $50,000 for bringing back the soul patch.
Jamey Wright: A boxed set of the Die Hard movies for the bullpen.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

You know something?

With the release of DeAngelo Hall after trading a 2nd round pick for him after eight games? Or something like that? I can tell you I can join the NFL.

Audacious? Yes. Have I exercised in earnest since my Freshman year in College? Rarely. But you know what? I can be a transformative figure in the unlikely story of the Oakland Raiders.

At least, that's what I'll tell Al Davis. And he will believe me. Because I am a leader of tomorrow's children. And I will protect JaMarcus Russell with my life.

At least until Dwight Freeney eats me.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Barack Obama: Your Next President...

It's a beautiful day in America.

The internets are calling a McCain concession...

The Networks are just being coy. Except for Matthews. He's silly.

Obama gets Virginia; McCain gets South Dakota and Nebraska...

Musgrove and Martin aren't out of it either.

220-142 right now. Networks want California to put them over the top.

538.Com sez...

Jim Martin is the Dems last hope for 60 senate seats.

New England done gone completely Blue. Chris Shays is out.

And you Caliuhfornia voters have some good news.

Colorado and South Dakota lost their cultural conservatism movements.

And Florida's about to fall to Obama.

Obama gets Iowa. McCain gets Texas and Utah.

Florida looks solidly Obama.
North Carolina has had its gap closed.
Virginia has gone back to Obama.
Missouri is too close to call with McCain in favor.
Indiana's gone back over to McCain.

And Joe the Plumber's gonna lose his primary in 2010.

Obama takes Ohio; McCain takes West Virginia.


With Indiana, North Carolina, and Florida? It's looking really bad for McCain.

Even with Louisiana going for McCain? It's pretty much over.

P.S. New Mexico going means the aforementioned triad means 15 EV away if it breaks right.

Obama 175-McCain 70

Obama Gets

New York
Rhode Island

McCain gets

North Dakota (aww...)

And Florida, Indiana, and North Carolina are looking good for Obama.
Virginia still has a shot at a rally.

Alabama and Georgia fall for McCain.

Georgia was disappointing but not unexpected.

Expect a runoff for Jim Martin and Saxby Chambliss.

New Senate Pickup?

Jeanne Shaheen beats John Sununu to get the New Hampshire senate seat.

But if Wicker-Musgrove is too close to call? This night could get crazy.

Kay Hagan goes into the Senate.

And all of the sudden? It's broken open.

MSNBC Calls:

New Hampshire
District of Columbia
New Jersey

For Obama!


For McCain!


Your 6:00 Central Election Update.

Nothing Surprising.

McCain gets Kentucky
Obama gets Virginia
Indiana is too close to call

Senate wise?
Mark Warner picks up a seat.
Lindsay Graham holds.

Bruce Lunsford (D-KY) is up by about 1000 votes.
Too early to call in Georgia.

UPDATE: Obama is up in Indiana and close in Virginia. This looks good.

6:20 UPDATE: If South Carolina and Georgia are too early to call? This looks really good.

6:25 UPDATE: Obama's winning in South Bend right now. And obviously? Gary has not come in yet.

6:30 UPDATE: Polls close in Ohio, North Carolina. Those are the states of ground that's embattled. McCain should bank 5 more votes in about 47 seconds.

That's a Republican strategist.

Jim Martin's down 750 very early.
Bruce Lunsford is down 11,538

Jay Rockefeller holds his Senate Seat.

McCain 16; Obama 3 (McCain gets South Carolina. I am not surprised.) But they say that Indiana has a strong ticket splitting.

Daily Kos says that Lunsford isn't going to make it. Shoot.

I have absolutely no problem with the Brewers right now...

Ken Macha was a savvy move. Dale Sveum is still around. And they did not let Maddux go without a fight.

And now they re-upped Mike Cameron. Which at 10 million dollars is still a nice bargain. You think a .243 hitter is a nice bargain? You might say to that. And I will tell you this.

If you compare him to the largest centerfield free agent signings of 2007? Year one was equal offensively to Torii Hunter. Sure, Hunter was a better defender. And that's okay. The Brewers saved 12 million dollars in year one.

Now? Here's the upside of year two. He may be 36. But it's a walk year. You know the rules of the Walk Year kids. Even if he loses a step from his broad base of skills? He's still going to be worth a win or two to the Brewers.

I believe in it.

Monday, November 3, 2008



Dixville Notch!


Sunday, November 2, 2008

Interesting question?

Would Milton Bradley be insulted by a team that would want him to play first base?

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Can we just say this?

Oklahoma State better do the job next week if the score holds up.

November 22nd would be the greatest day in college football history if the Red Raiders and the Sooners had a shot at each other.

Harrell to Crabtree for the National Championship!

Okay not really. They'd end up being the 3rd seed or something lame.

UPDATE: Will Muschamp really needed a punch in the grill when he was younger. 1st and 10 Texas on the Tech 29.


Can the Badgers miss a bowl game?
Can they lose to Indiana?
Can they lose to Cal Poly?
Should they start Curt Phillips?
Would six wins mean an at-large berth?
Was a fall-off bound to happen?

It's okay. Let's move on.