Thursday, December 31, 2009

The Ten "Best" Movies of the Decade.

Yeah, yeah. Another List post. Deal with it. But this is a list post where we don't rank the ten best movies of the decade I liked. This is ten movies that deserve recognition for some reason, tangible or otherwise.

Best Fast Zombie Movie: 28 Days Later.
Best Movie With the Worst Title: Sexdrive
Best Bad Ben Affleck Movie: Daredevil/Boiler Room (tie)
Best Depressing Indie Movie That Kind of Confused Me: Where the Truth Lies
Best Shitty Blockbuster: Bruce Almighty (You know it's in the top 100 of all-time box-offices? Yeah. And it has two funny scenes. Two.)
Best Movie With The Worst Ending: I Drink Your Milkshake! I Drink It Up!
Best "So Bad It's Awful" Movie: House of the Dead.
Best Manic Pixie Dream Girl as Porn Star Movie: The Girl Next Door
Best Depressing Indie Movie I Actually Understood: Mullholland Drive
Best Underrated Movie of the Decade: Frailty. Just Frailty.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Top 10 Movies of 2009...

I know. I feel as if I have left you behind. Three half-baked formspring responses and sweet f-all from the kid. I'm doing some soul searching. So, I will leave you with a top ten list.

I apologize.

But at least I will give you a list about 2009. That's timely right?

And In this list, I will give you my 10 favorite movies of the year...That I've seen. So, no Adventurland. No Taken. And no District 9. There's good odds that two out of the three would make my top ten list. It was kind of a down year.

Anyway... going in reverse order?

10) Extract (Mike Judge is always stronger when he keeps his focus small. This is a story about the lengths people can go to avoid communication. And Ben Affleck is remarkably hilarious here.)
9) Whip It (It was dead solid solid. I know it's a really girly movie. I like sports movies. What?)
8) Watchmen (It's not perfect. Zack Snyder's not a man known for his nuance with musical choices. But damnit. I was enthralled, damnit.)
7) The Informant! (As a satire of the whistleblower movie? It's top notch.)
6) Star Trek (The populist Summer Blockbuster Action Movie A go-go.)
5) A Serious Man (Michael Sthulbarg is the best actor of 2009 for his portrayal of Larry Gopnik. Anybody who says otherwise? Fuck you. Looking at you Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart!)
4) The Hangover (Todd Phillips always knew how to be funny. It's nice to see that he found it again instead of trying to become the next WPT champ.)
3) The Hurt Locker (The indie populist action movie a go-go. Jeremy Renner would win best actor in every other year but this one.)
2) Up (I know I may be tempting controversy of what's next. But while I enjoyed this movie tremendously?)
1) Zombieland (It didn't make me want to watch it three times. This did. Rule of awesome carries the fridge logic of the female characters ending.)

So what say you?

Sunday, December 20, 2009

What would your dream job look like?

Simple? I would design ad campaigns for local news affiliates based on meaningless stuff that looks cool. As an example?


Ask me anything

If you had the chance to torture Brett Favre, what would you do to him?

Be perfectly honest. I wouldn't. Torture doesn't work. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't let him think I would be torturing him.

I would set him up for a little Marathon man styled torture. Get to the point where I'm about to start drilling. Then retire.

Then I would come back. And get to the point where he's about to get pushed out a window in a chair? Then I would retire.

In short? I would just have fun out there.

Ask me anything

Ask me anything

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I remember why I left watching the NBA.

It was because the referees had their fingers in the pies of the Conference finals. And I have to say, it was easy. I could keep a more cursory glance on the Bucks and let the basketball knowledge atrophy.

That being said? I came back in full force last season. And it was a fun season to watch. Not so happy the Lakers took it down, but hey. That's okay.

Tonight on the other hand stings a little. I know the Lakers were going to get a call or two along the way. But the Bucks earned a win here that was taken away. Not because of Kobe's buzzer beater. Okay, yes. That was the coup de grace.

However? The referees gave Kobe the opportunity. +19 in free throws. An egregious lane violation. And a call that so enraged the announcers that people are trying to make a meme.


Ah well. I found something that makes me feel better.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

This just in?

Stephen Colbert is still awesome. I know you still know that. But I feel that it warrants mentioning. Did you see tonight? Then you know.

If not? No spoilers. Watch a rerun.

Monday, December 14, 2009

On a day like today?

It sucks to be a small market baseball fan. You have John Lackey signing with Boston. And that should work out pretty well. And that also leads to a rumor that they're going to trade for Adrian Gonzalez, because there are only so many at-bats that you can have at first base/DH.

And the trade? Oh sweet Jesus. Halladay to Philly. Clifton Phifer Lee to Seattle. Two divisions suddenly have new expectations or expectations locked down. Big, bold moves. And you get your teams fanbases talking.

But then there's the Brewers. Guess what we did today? Re-signed Craig Counsell. Which is AWESOME. And along with that? We've locked down Claudio Vargas.


I know, I'm not exactly someone who should complain. If the team is close, I know for a fact that the big bold moves aren't out of the Brewers quiver. But after the wild card? It's ennui.

It's the fact that it's not completely insane to make an Ed Wade maneuver for middle relief help anymore. It's the fact that somehow Jason Kendall is still worth three million dollars a year.

Sorry. I'll move on. And transfer this to a LiveJournal soon enough.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

The Bill Simmons Corollary

I know that Bill Simmons would be thrilled if he ever read the blog. But there's an obvious theory. If you believe that the National League is the weaker league, it stands to reason that you can find success with reclamation projects in the American League. How does this work?

Because Chien Ming-Wang got non-tendered by the Yankees. His arm was noodles last year. And he struggled. He probably would not be ready for war right off the bat. His agent would say that he would be ready by May 1st. The Brewers are likely in a situation with a one, a three, and certain amount of uncertainty.

I'm not pitching this as a cure all. I'm not pitching this as a necessity. But for someone who was looked upon as lacking the due dilligence? I feel like it warrants mentioning that he could help.

Thursday, December 10, 2009



If I had the heart? I would adapt a Christmas Carol with Mark D'Antoni as Jacob Marley, Gerry Faust as the Ghost of Christmas Past, Charlie Weis as the Fail Ghost of Christmas Present, and Brian Kelly, assistant coach at Western Michigan as the ghost of Christmas future.

But I don't. So suffice it to say he'll win games at a 57% clip. And get fired at the end of the contract.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

If you haven't seen an inflatible knock down dragout brawl with an Inflatible Ben Wallace?

You need to watch Part 5 of Who Shot Mamba? I'm sure that some of you might not have seen this in terms of parts one, two, three or four. But you know what? That's okay. This is just something you have to see. At once necessary as well as proper. Outside's all stormy anyway.

(And there's a secret cameo. Shh. Don't tell.)

And here's how you can catch up on the series.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

In the throes of a full on blizzard, we say our final goodbyes to one of our favorite tropes...

In 2007, while Curtis Granderson was making a run at 100 extra base hits and hit the funtastic total of 20-20-20-20 for the year we were there every step of the way. It was a good way to follow a player we had the manic indie thrill about and build blog content. And even though we stopped posting daily exploits of the adventures of Grandy? It doesn't mean we had any reason to lose faith in him.

But then? He gets traded to the Yankees. Like Duke, the Viqueens, and the Los Angeles Lakers. I can't get behind a Yankee. I know it's going to make Granderson a better player, and he may actually hit the 100 extra base hit margin. But I can't get behind that.


I sense doom for my feelings about Randy Wolf.

Strictly speaking, as a fan? I've always liked Randy Wolf. He was a pretty good lefty for the Phillies during the dark period in the early aughts and he holds a place in rock and jock history for his Pedro Martinezesque relief outing in the last rock and jock game in history. So yeah. I've been a fan.

That being said? If the rumors are true. I'm going to find myself losing faith in the Wolf. Randy Wolf has lost that mojo that made him good. Now, I'm not saying he didn't have a good year last season. It's just that for luck not to be a factor? His batting average on balls in play should reside between .280 and .300.

Randy Wolf had a .258 average. And a correction is not exactly going to be the sort of thing that leads to one hit a month. I'm not saying that young Randall is not a pitcher worthy of being in a rotation. Not by a longshot. But we're looking at 10 wins, a 4.20 ERA and WHIP around 1.300 sort of an average pitcher.

So what I'm saying is this is the sort of experince we had with Jeff Suppan when we first signed him. Look how well that turned out. I don't want to hate Randy Wolf, but circumstances may lead me down that road.

Monday, December 7, 2009

We got Luis Cruz y'all!

If I was a narcisstic paranoid man? I would think this was a smokescreen. Doug Melvin knows the strength and power of my 110 reader army. He wants to bring Craig Counsell back. He knows we would riot like we were watching John Cena win in the New Alhambra arena.

So? He has to find someone worse. And Luis Cruz? Fits that bill whole hog.

But that would be if I was all narcisism and paranoia? I'm lazy. I fall off the cliff for days and now weeks at a time. And this signing is merely that of a warm body.

Just try to sign someone before you return to Counsell, okay? Don't feed this fevered ego.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Hey BCS?

You have something that seemed like a lock of an easy call. And that's the SEC Champion meets Texas. You had the marqueest of the marquee matchups. But then somebody had to treat this like a lock and watched his Heisman trophy chances get eaten by the Ndakmong.

But yeah, Texas did win. In the most pathetic way imaginable. You have a timeout. Which you don't use. And you have a quarterback roll out for a pass. And you have to have replay put one second left on the clock for them to win. The stuff of national champions? Please.

So, I'm going to give you a legitimate case as to why TCU deserves to go over Texas.

1) The one common game both teams have played? TCU won by a larger scoring margin.

2) If you throw Clemson into the mix? Both teams have defeated three ranked opponents. TCU has won by a combined 62 points. Texas? 31.

3) Both teams average a 21 point margin of victory against their bowl eligible opponents.

4) And TCU crushed all of its opponents. All of them.

5) And choosing TCU would be worthwhile publicity, and in the rare positive move. No one outside Austin thinks Texas won their entry into the BCS. TCU in the BCS shows that this isn't a repressive system that eliminates all non BCS schools straight away.

But you know what? It's not going to happen. There's going to be talk, and probable institution of a plus one. And that's fine.

Except for the fact that it would solve nothing.

(But I'm being cynical. Aren't I?)

Friday, December 4, 2009

Gregg Zaun?

Let's call it like it is. The most logical move in the history of sports. The Brewers had a need for a catcher for the purposes of veteran insurance/leading a time share. They also could have used an upgrade from the poisoned fist of Jason Kendall. They got both.

Not to say that Gregg Zaun is anything above and beyond average? But the team's been going diagonal and not in the fun, so good we'd crush the NL East way. And getting the modern day Joe Oliver for the 2/3 of league average salary? It's a fine move. I'll take it.

You know what?

I am sorry. I am. But twitter can kill your will to blog. And on that not, let's smoothly segue to Craig Counsell.


Because the Brewers are doing it wrong! I have made myself patently clear that Craig Counsell has been a blight on the Brewers roster on several occasions. But you know what? He proved me wrong last year. He had a great season. A league average season, but let's look back at the decade previously in terms of OPS+ where 100 is league average

2000: 104
2001: 82
2002: 78
2003: 61
2004: 69
2005: 89
2006: 70
2007: 65
2008: 77
2009: 105

So when you consider the fact that Counsell's age 29 season was 2000? Can you see that there's a regression to the mean afoot? I know you can. And as such? Consider yourself lucky you got the good season.

(Sure, the Brewers had to take three years of crumbs to do it? But stay with me.)

For you see? His defense was never truly great in that whole I know he sucks, but his glove keeps him being above replacement levels sort of way since he became a Brewer. Not even when you add the fact that he can play three positions.

He can take a walk. But that's it. And you can find a minor leaguer with a good eye and little else for cheap. I mean, somebody rolled up and said Ruben Gotay, get in my spring training after all. I mean, who but superfans and the hardest of the hardcore have made mention of Brock Bond or Esteban German's plate discipline?

In fact? As I research reasons why the potential Craig Counsell resigning is flat out insane? I wounder why don't we go with German instead. He's 8 years younger, comes with speed as well as plate discipline at anywhere from two-fifths to one-sixth the price, and if he sucks? You don't have to stick with him because of loyalty or defensive rep.

...George, so to speak? Is upset.

Apologies for stealing the picture go to: Right Field Bleachers