Today, I'm here to talk to you about the fantastical football. There will be no mentions of Jahvid Best or Shonn Greene. I'm going to focus my brain and fingers in regards to the FX comedy program. And how now, on this night. I am outing myself as a nerd.
Now, obviously, as I am a guy who once used OPS+ to argue Pete Browning's case for Baseball Hall of Fame induction and has shown you a good comic book or two to read in the past? I've made minimal effort to chase some sort of a perceived cool. But never once have I used a show's technical flaws against it. Rule of Funny/Cool beats Rule of Logic and all that.
Tonight? That all changed. For tonight, there was a simple, who do I start question. Mere moments after It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia ended on a quality "We're Lawyers!" Stephen Ranasazzi asked his TV Wife if he should start Ricky Williams or Toby Gerhart.
I know what you, the unfortunate few who stumbled between desperate photos used to generate hits, must be thinking. What does that matter? I will tell you. Toby Gerhart should not be drafted in an 8 team league. An 8 team league would at most have 40 running backs. But okay, fine, say the young Mr. Stephen ended up with the Purple Jesus and handcuffed Gerhart.
You always go with the guy who isn't the fucking backup. Always. For the love of pete. It would be like a Star Trek Officer asking for Red. It would be like a pro wrestling good guy actually not falling for the Silicone-enhanced heel lady. It would be like Daredevil killing a guy.
But until the writers decide to step their game up and go above and beyond asking Matthew Berry if Kareem Huggins exists? I cannot give these people the time of day.
P.S. To Mark Duplass? BRING ME MORE GOTDAMN MUMBLECORE! THE PUFFY CHAIR = YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS!