I'm able to quantify why this tournament isn't strong. Well, technically it is in terms of paper talent. But my interest is fading away. It's why I made the crack about hating winning 13 of the 14 games that I could of in my second round.
This is why I am a member of the Hater Nation right now. I brought you reasons to love every team. Now you know what? It's time to let the hatred flow.
1 Pittsburgh: There's no reason to think that this isn't the year for the Panthers, except for the fact their team has underperformed in March since they days and nights of Ralph Willard. They will choke. Fuck them.
4 Xavier: There's no reason they should get to the Elite 8. But they have a tradition of fucking your shit up in the Sweet 16. If there's going to be an upset, it will be here.
3 Villanova: They've done nothing to arouse hatred out of me. But they're playing Duke. And until they win? Memories of the childish breacketology remain. Also, Scottie Reynolds slept with your girlfriend.
2 Duke: They're Duke. Do I need a reason? I do. Okay, because Coach K is an Arch-Conservative Ratboy who bitches about anything who doesn't go Duke's way. And I just got a blocking foul for that comment.
1 North Carolina: Sure, they're not Duke. But rooting for them is like rooting for Crystal Meth.
4 Gonzaga: Outside of their usual underperformance, the simple fact that Jeremy Pargo's Spur-like pulling down of Patty Mills cost them a chance at the NCAA Tournament.
3 Syracuse: Hey, all you high school prospects who like to hit girls? Jimmy Boeheim provides you sanctuary! Just ask star two guard Eric Devendorf!
2 Oklahoma: In a red state like Oklahoma, the love for a power forward who enjoys the comfort of women's clothing is only showing the hypocrisy of those who wish to divide us. And that's bullshit. I WANT SIDES, DAMNIT!
1 Louisville: Considering Louisville's losses this season? Arizona is the sort of team that's built to trip them up. I mean it. They play down to their perceived competition. Look back at their schedule. Red Drank broke themselves off a piece.
12 Arizona: You have two lottery picks and you're a 12 seed? It means you do not want it. You fuck around too damn much. And Chase Budinger looks like a romantic comedy villain! How can you root for that?!?
3 Kansas: They ruined North Dakota State's dream!
2 Michigan St.: Hey, did you know Tom Izzo was friends with Steve Mariucci? I KNOW I DIDN'T!
1 UConn: Jim Calhoun is like Jerry Tarkanian without any of the cool. He doesn't even recruit degenerates in a gangsta fashion. ILLEGAL PHONE CALLS! OOOOOOOOH! WHERE'S THE PLAYER YOU PLY TO GO TO STORRS WITH CRACK COCAINE!
5 Purdue: The Duke of the Midwest. If Robbie Hummel played in the ACC? You would be sick to death of his hyperbole.
3 Missouri: Mike Anderson looks like Evander Holyfield in ten years, and that's awesome. The game the play is awesome. But they cannot beat Memphis. Memphis' backcourt can handle their swagger. And I dislike Memphis.
2 Memphis: John Calipari is like the dad who hosts all the drinking parties that you're not invited to. He could ditch Memphis for the Clippers at any moments notice.
Okay, so the hater nation is not dead. But you need to bring RPI back selection comittee. Chalk is boring. And everybody hates good teams.
I know I do.
Showing posts with label Great moments in America. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Great moments in America. Show all posts
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Great Moments in America...
Now as I was a 15 to 18 year old during Wrestling's last apex as a man with agility and size? I harbored dreams of being a pro wrestler. Call it what you will, but I was in the demographic market. Sue me.
However? I have the maturity of someone three years younger than my actual age, so my 15 year old dreams is much like those of a 12 year old who wanted to be Willie McGee. It wasn't gonna happen. Not by any stretch.
However the second? I am an admirer of delusion. Those who will find themselves trying to work their way all the way from the bottom to the top. Mike Levy is one of those people.
Lords of Pain has a report...
On June 21, 2008, Mike Levy, an indy wrestler from North Carolina, was booked into IWA-MS's female Death Match tournament, which was attended by maybe 75 people. Rather, Levy is apparently an untrained wrestler who through some message board postings, made it known that he wanted to participate in the IWA-MS Death Match tournament. The false hype by a few wrestling message board posters led IWA-MS promoter Ian Rotten to add Levy to the women's tournament as a joke.
Levy's opponent in the match was current TNA Knockout Mickie Knuckles, and he took a horrible beating from her. She worked stiff on him, giving him several brutal shots with weapons throughout the match. Levy, who was apparently trying to defend himself, also starts throwing legit punches at one point in the match. This greatly angers Knuckles, so she becomes even more violent towards him. During this, Knuckles gives herself a huge lump on her head from headbutting Levy so much. The beating went on for eight to ten minutes before Knuckles got the win. As bad as the beating was, it was actually the tame part.
Following the match, two apparent wrestlers dressed in street clothes enter the fray. One's a skinny guy by the name of Devon Moore, and the other is a guy by the name of Tank, who looks to be about 400 pounds and is supposedly a wrestler. The crowd began chanting for Levy's finisher The Curb Stomp, which WWE star Paul Burchill uses. Tank then grabs Levy and holds his head over a barbed wire ladder. Devon comes the top rope with a double stomp that drove Levy's head hard into the ladder. As if that wasn't enough, the 400-pound Tank climbs to the second rope and lets his much larger size come crashing down from the second rope, stomping Levy's head into the ladder in a sickening fashion. Tank had trouble maintaining his balance through this, and he toppled over after stomping Levy's head.
Following this, the Moore gets on the mic, insulting him. Levy is sitting up, and Moore gives him a stiff kick in the chest. He then kicks him several more times, and telling him to "learn to sell," in his expletive-laden tirade. The 400-pounder then gets on the mic and tells him in his thick Southern drawl to go back to North Carolina, and to never come back to their parts again.
Too add insult to injury, even Ian Rotten's young son, who appears to be 12-years-old, gets involved in the beatdown. The child can even be seen asking "daddy" if its alright to hit him. Levy, who is now outside the ring, gives the grounded Levy with a few stiff shots with a Kendo Stick. Moore follows this up by hitting Levy with a chair. While Levy is down, the child kicks him in the back of the head.
Ian Rotten then gets on the mic and says, "Unlike you, she has a career you dip****. Unlike you, she's going to ******g national TV on Monday." He then kicks him in the head and tells him to "stay the **** down." He also adds, "I told you to stay the **** down. Don't you ****** move. You move and I'll rip your ****** nuts off and feed 'em too yah." Rotten then gives the okay for apparently a fan to hit Levy over the head with a weapon, which breaks upon impact.
Rotten's spiel is not over, as he brings Mickie Knuckles over. Holding his arm over Knuckles, Rotten says, "Look at this. Look up at me you dumb mother******. Look at your knot on her head. She's got to go to national television, cause you don't know how to f***** work with that on her head. You f***** no-good c***-******* son of a b*****." It should be noted that Knuckles likely gave the bump on her head to herself. During one sequence in the match, Knuckles gets incensed and gives Levy a repeated number of vicious headbutts.
The beatdown is still not over. Rotten kicks him in the head following his tirade and the child throws something at Levy. An apparent wrestler in plaid shorts (it's hard to tell, as some of them look like members of the audience) gives Levy a really sloppy suplex on top of some debris. Rotten gets on the mic again, and says, "This is a message to anybody who wants to f*** with us. I told everybody yesterday, you f*** with one of us, you f*** with all of us. You're a f****** outsider b**** and don't you ever forget it Internet Sensation." Rotten then mutters, "It's over," and finally leaves.
In the background, you could hear a fan say, "This is one of the greatest moments of my entire life."
Yes, the fan got to watch a wrestler get hazed. It was the greatest moment of his life. I present this without comment.
Just let me tell you this...
Ian Rotten is nothing...if not a showman.
However? I have the maturity of someone three years younger than my actual age, so my 15 year old dreams is much like those of a 12 year old who wanted to be Willie McGee. It wasn't gonna happen. Not by any stretch.
However the second? I am an admirer of delusion. Those who will find themselves trying to work their way all the way from the bottom to the top. Mike Levy is one of those people.
Lords of Pain has a report...
On June 21, 2008, Mike Levy, an indy wrestler from North Carolina, was booked into IWA-MS's female Death Match tournament, which was attended by maybe 75 people. Rather, Levy is apparently an untrained wrestler who through some message board postings, made it known that he wanted to participate in the IWA-MS Death Match tournament. The false hype by a few wrestling message board posters led IWA-MS promoter Ian Rotten to add Levy to the women's tournament as a joke.
Levy's opponent in the match was current TNA Knockout Mickie Knuckles, and he took a horrible beating from her. She worked stiff on him, giving him several brutal shots with weapons throughout the match. Levy, who was apparently trying to defend himself, also starts throwing legit punches at one point in the match. This greatly angers Knuckles, so she becomes even more violent towards him. During this, Knuckles gives herself a huge lump on her head from headbutting Levy so much. The beating went on for eight to ten minutes before Knuckles got the win. As bad as the beating was, it was actually the tame part.
Following the match, two apparent wrestlers dressed in street clothes enter the fray. One's a skinny guy by the name of Devon Moore, and the other is a guy by the name of Tank, who looks to be about 400 pounds and is supposedly a wrestler. The crowd began chanting for Levy's finisher The Curb Stomp, which WWE star Paul Burchill uses. Tank then grabs Levy and holds his head over a barbed wire ladder. Devon comes the top rope with a double stomp that drove Levy's head hard into the ladder. As if that wasn't enough, the 400-pound Tank climbs to the second rope and lets his much larger size come crashing down from the second rope, stomping Levy's head into the ladder in a sickening fashion. Tank had trouble maintaining his balance through this, and he toppled over after stomping Levy's head.
Following this, the Moore gets on the mic, insulting him. Levy is sitting up, and Moore gives him a stiff kick in the chest. He then kicks him several more times, and telling him to "learn to sell," in his expletive-laden tirade. The 400-pounder then gets on the mic and tells him in his thick Southern drawl to go back to North Carolina, and to never come back to their parts again.
Too add insult to injury, even Ian Rotten's young son, who appears to be 12-years-old, gets involved in the beatdown. The child can even be seen asking "daddy" if its alright to hit him. Levy, who is now outside the ring, gives the grounded Levy with a few stiff shots with a Kendo Stick. Moore follows this up by hitting Levy with a chair. While Levy is down, the child kicks him in the back of the head.
Ian Rotten then gets on the mic and says, "Unlike you, she has a career you dip****. Unlike you, she's going to ******g national TV on Monday." He then kicks him in the head and tells him to "stay the **** down." He also adds, "I told you to stay the **** down. Don't you ****** move. You move and I'll rip your ****** nuts off and feed 'em too yah." Rotten then gives the okay for apparently a fan to hit Levy over the head with a weapon, which breaks upon impact.
Rotten's spiel is not over, as he brings Mickie Knuckles over. Holding his arm over Knuckles, Rotten says, "Look at this. Look up at me you dumb mother******. Look at your knot on her head. She's got to go to national television, cause you don't know how to f***** work with that on her head. You f***** no-good c***-******* son of a b*****." It should be noted that Knuckles likely gave the bump on her head to herself. During one sequence in the match, Knuckles gets incensed and gives Levy a repeated number of vicious headbutts.
The beatdown is still not over. Rotten kicks him in the head following his tirade and the child throws something at Levy. An apparent wrestler in plaid shorts (it's hard to tell, as some of them look like members of the audience) gives Levy a really sloppy suplex on top of some debris. Rotten gets on the mic again, and says, "This is a message to anybody who wants to f*** with us. I told everybody yesterday, you f*** with one of us, you f*** with all of us. You're a f****** outsider b**** and don't you ever forget it Internet Sensation." Rotten then mutters, "It's over," and finally leaves.
In the background, you could hear a fan say, "This is one of the greatest moments of my entire life."
Yes, the fan got to watch a wrestler get hazed. It was the greatest moment of his life. I present this without comment.
Just let me tell you this...
Ian Rotten is nothing...if not a showman.
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