Bernard Scott.

I've talked on him before on this blog. Hyperproductive at Ableine Christian. Great agility. Good quickness. But he was quite troubled. Five arrests and four colleges troubled.

He was too good not to get drafted, but for someone who struggled to get his head right, he needed to find a way to a good program to achieve the heights of his potential. So where did he fall in the draft?

I answer this with a question. Would I blog about this if he landed anywhere but the Bengals?

I am laughing because he is now in the land of Chris Henry and ambitious police officers.

I think all is getting back to good with the world...

Why? Because John Calipari just tapped his inner Nick Saban. John Calipari was always more interesting as a villain coach. The story of Memphis was just kind of dull. Well, it was after he stopped taking dudes like DaJuan Wagner.

Now? He leaves Memphis as a program on an island. The recruiting class is gone. The Senior leaders are gone. They are in a mid-major conference. Unless they get a wow-singing. And I mean it. You can't get the coach from Siena and keep the perceptions up.

And as for Kentucky? They get a coach who is unafraid to go back to the Joe B. Hall era of Kentucky ball. This means more than your simple text messages. This means Nate Miles is going to find a way to get his car-stealing and creepy stalking two-guard ass to Lexington.

You're going to see a brief flash of success. Then it's gonna get bad.

And I love you for it Lexington.

Ben Sheets: What the Fuck?

That's my opinion.

You get that big contract and you decide to celebrate the occasion by becoming lazier than me. Am I bitter? You're goddamn right I'm bitter. All of these little injuries with the hammy and the obliques? It made your arm turn to shit.

You could have been a Hall of Famer. If you worked? It's not hyperbole. Sure, the greatest 12-14 season of all-time may not have been matched. But even in your sprains and strains era, your lowest ERA+ was 117. I don't know.

I don't want to feel schadenfreude. But you're the rough equivalent of the romatic comedy villain who's too ridiculous to take back. But we kept taking you back.

C'est la vie.

In Sports...

There is a certain tendency to praise normal human behavior as something amazing. Those avid readers of the Onion know the satirical story of how everybody was amazed that Ray Allen exhibited normal human behavior. Now? Everybody is amazed that Josh Hamilton stopped being sick, found Jesus, and tapped into his prodigious talent.

The sycophantry is well, sick. But I'm okay with it. Really.

Because there's a 57-48 team in the National League. Their four healthy starters are currently a disgraced closer, a disgraced Cub, a pitcher who had the modern-day Jody Reed offseason (lost about 6-8 million from expectations), and Joel Pineiro. Pineiro sucks. The BLooper sucks. Todd Wellenmeyer is currently pitching through pain. But Kyle Lohse is crafty and good. In fairness? They have three potential starters on the DL, and that's not counting Mark Mulder.

And you know what? Throw in Ryan Ludwick and Aaron Miles. They're kind of being good out of nowhere. And the bullpen making the 1996 Seattle Mariners look awesome. It's smoke and mirrors. And you know what?

Nobody gives a shit.

Why? Because Tony LaRussa is the manager. And he has the personality of the one-dimensonal abrasive who plays by the book that he's written. If he had no personality, he'd be in front for manager of the year.

But he's a dick. And that's why we've got no love for the job that he's done.

And it's awesome.