Listen, you need a cheat sheet for kickers and defense? I'll give you that. But I'm not going to be tranchant and analytical. I can barely be bothered to make a fart noise about Matt Prater. So, print and let's go.
Don't put this in order, but let's rock this out shall we?
DEFENSE
The Elite!
Pittsburgh
Minnesota
Solid Starters
San Diego
Baltimore
Green Bay
Chicago
New York Giants
Philadelphia
Marginal Starters
New York Jets
New England
Dallas
Tampa Bay
Tennessee
Arizona
Back-Ups/2nd Defense in a Committee
Indianapolis
Miami
Buffalo
Washington
Jacksonville
Seattle
One-Week Plug-In
Houston
Carolina
Oakland
Atlanta
Yeesh (to make an even 25)
Cleveland
KICKERS
The Elite
Stephen Gostkowski
Nate Kaeding
Mason Crosby
Jason Elam
The Solid
David Akers
Rob Bironas
Garrett Hartley
Ryan Longwell
Neil Rackers
Lawrence Tynes
Eh...
Kris Brown
Robbie Gould
Nick Folk
John Kasay
Jeff Reed
Rian Lindell
Joe Nedney
One-week Plug-in/Guys you'll pick up on waivers for the sucky guys above this tier.
Adam Vinateri
Shayne Graham
Josh Scobee
Josh Brown
Matt Prater
Mike Nugent
Phil Dawson
Steve Hauschka
Boom. Learned.
Showing posts with label I kick the ball. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I kick the ball. Show all posts
Friday, August 7, 2009
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
So You Know What I Did?
I broke down every potential fantasy football player in terms of real football value. Some is fantastical, some is humorous, some is libelous. And yet? We need to do this in an easy form.
So...I present the breakdowns by position...
Quarterbacks
Running Backs
Wide Receivers
Tight Ends
Kickers
Defense
Please do enjoy, America, Canada, and rest of Earth (who do not read this blog near as much.)
Andrew
So...I present the breakdowns by position...
Quarterbacks
Running Backs
Wide Receivers
Tight Ends
Kickers
Defense
Please do enjoy, America, Canada, and rest of Earth (who do not read this blog near as much.)
Andrew
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Part 4 of the NFL breakdown. Jams are being kicked out.
Kickers. A necessary evil. Like taxes. Mothers-in-law. Or even sitcom conventions.
Come along. Join us being trapped in a small space. We're going for a 47 yard field goal's worth in a breakdown.
David Akers K Philadelphia Eagles: Kicks from >40 yards is roughly equivalent to BABIP. How? It always regresses to the mean. And this means a dude who hit .200 from greater than 40-yards last year is a good bounce back candidate.
Rob Bironas K Tennessee Titans: America remembers where they were when he outdueled Sage Rosenfels in an asskicking contest. May get another shot in 2008.
Josh Brown K St. Louis Rams: He wears heated pants. No kicker is worth that fact.
Kris Brown K Houston Texans: One of the last of the orginial Texans. Also? He'll be fine if his offense stays healthy.
Matt Bryant K Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Consistent, even if he won't get nearly enough of a shot.
E.J. Cochrane K Baltimore Ravens: The most proper Vulture in Kicking history is about to take opportunities away from the most consitent kicker of the past 20 years. Ass.
Brandon Coutu K Seattle Seahawks: Voted most likely to be Nick Folk by Meat Loaf Aday.
Mason Crosby K Green Bay Packers: Sure, he won't be as good as he was last year. HOWEVER? He'll be good for more than a decade.
Phil Dawson K Cleveland Browns: He had a comic book writer sort of breakout last season. In that it took 9 years to do.
Jason Elam K Atlanta Falcons: Will not hit 115 points for the first time in his distinguished career.
Jay Feely K Miami Dolphins: The lone bright spot on the Dolphins. Seriously.
Nick Folk K Dallas Cowboys: The only underrated thing that lives in Dallas. And even so, he got past Mason Crosby to be YOUR NFC Pro Bowl Kicker. He'll be fine again.
Stephen Gostkowski K New England Patriots: The best kicker in football for 2009. If you're one of those with idiots who draft a kicker round 6? Ignore him.
Robbie Gould K Chicago Bears: The only problems with Gould may be opportunity based, the Bears offense is gonna suck.
Shayne Graham K Cincinnati Bengals: A good player, but the whole rigamarole with Chad Johnson may sink him, or underrate him.
Martin Gramatica K New Orleans Saints: WHOO! YEAH! I DID IT! I MADE A PARAGRAPH ABOUT A KICKING GRAMATICA! /tears ACL.
Jason Hanson K Detroit Lions: A veteran of the suck. With Martz gone, so too his value?
Sebastian Janikowski K Oakland Raiders: No good without the Vodka drink and the lager drink.
Nate Kaeding K San Diego Chargers: Overcame his demons to become a valuable kicker. He is good.
John Kasay K Carolina Panthers: He's still solid.
Rian Lindell K Buffalo Bills: Should be better than last year as the offense goes from whipped to pimped! Yeah! Win!
Rhys Lloyd K Carolina Panthers: The Dutch kickoff specialist who's got good value for 2009.
Ryan Longwell K Minnesota Vikings: Always accurate. Actually improved his leg strength in 2007. I know, I'm surprised too.
Kevin Lovell K Atlanta Falcons: The grandson of beloved astronaut Jim Lovell.
Olindo Mare K Seattle Seahawks: Kicking for his football life. Chris Berman roots for him, so you should not.
Justin Medlock K St. Louis Rams: The greatest African-American kicker of all time.
Taylor Mehlhaff K New Orleans Saints: Voted Most Likely to be this years Mason Crosby by Wisconsin Sports Magazine.
Joe Nedney K San Francisco 49ers: Mike Martz gives kickers opportunity all by himself. Remember that.
Nick Novak K Kansas City Chiefs: Has not shown himself to be as good as Billy Cundiff. Paul Edinger is waiting for him to fall.
Mike Nugent K New York Jets: He plays a rocking game from inside the 40 and on kickoffs. Too bad the Jets are still meek.
Matt Prater K Denver Broncos: Kind of a John Hall type. Big leg, wonky accuracy.
Neil Rackers K Arizona Cardinals: Should know that it's better to live like a king for a day than like a dog for a lifetime. Or something.
Jeff Reed K Pittsburgh Steelers: Jeff Reed's saucy antics always translate to quality kicking.
Josh Scobee K Jacksonville Jaguars: He should be awesome. I mean, his offense can bog down a scoch.
Matt Stover K Baltimore Ravens: Consistently decent, but yet never great. Yeah.
Shaun Suisham K Washington Redskins: Not great, but considering the crap that the Redskins have had kicking? Mediocre is okay.
Lawrence Tynes K New York Giants: Proof poisitive that the slogan "you'll never get a second chance to make a first impression is flawed." See: NFC Title Game.
Adam Vinatieri K Indianapolis Colts: Developing a case of the injury prones. Still great when healthy.
Two more of these. Guess where!
Come along. Join us being trapped in a small space. We're going for a 47 yard field goal's worth in a breakdown.
David Akers K Philadelphia Eagles: Kicks from >40 yards is roughly equivalent to BABIP. How? It always regresses to the mean. And this means a dude who hit .200 from greater than 40-yards last year is a good bounce back candidate.
Rob Bironas K Tennessee Titans: America remembers where they were when he outdueled Sage Rosenfels in an asskicking contest. May get another shot in 2008.
Josh Brown K St. Louis Rams: He wears heated pants. No kicker is worth that fact.
Kris Brown K Houston Texans: One of the last of the orginial Texans. Also? He'll be fine if his offense stays healthy.
Matt Bryant K Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Consistent, even if he won't get nearly enough of a shot.
E.J. Cochrane K Baltimore Ravens: The most proper Vulture in Kicking history is about to take opportunities away from the most consitent kicker of the past 20 years. Ass.
Brandon Coutu K Seattle Seahawks: Voted most likely to be Nick Folk by Meat Loaf Aday.
Mason Crosby K Green Bay Packers: Sure, he won't be as good as he was last year. HOWEVER? He'll be good for more than a decade.
Phil Dawson K Cleveland Browns: He had a comic book writer sort of breakout last season. In that it took 9 years to do.
Jason Elam K Atlanta Falcons: Will not hit 115 points for the first time in his distinguished career.
Jay Feely K Miami Dolphins: The lone bright spot on the Dolphins. Seriously.
Nick Folk K Dallas Cowboys: The only underrated thing that lives in Dallas. And even so, he got past Mason Crosby to be YOUR NFC Pro Bowl Kicker. He'll be fine again.
Stephen Gostkowski K New England Patriots: The best kicker in football for 2009. If you're one of those with idiots who draft a kicker round 6? Ignore him.
Robbie Gould K Chicago Bears: The only problems with Gould may be opportunity based, the Bears offense is gonna suck.
Shayne Graham K Cincinnati Bengals: A good player, but the whole rigamarole with Chad Johnson may sink him, or underrate him.
Martin Gramatica K New Orleans Saints: WHOO! YEAH! I DID IT! I MADE A PARAGRAPH ABOUT A KICKING GRAMATICA! /tears ACL.
Jason Hanson K Detroit Lions: A veteran of the suck. With Martz gone, so too his value?
Sebastian Janikowski K Oakland Raiders: No good without the Vodka drink and the lager drink.
Nate Kaeding K San Diego Chargers: Overcame his demons to become a valuable kicker. He is good.
John Kasay K Carolina Panthers: He's still solid.
Rian Lindell K Buffalo Bills: Should be better than last year as the offense goes from whipped to pimped! Yeah! Win!
Rhys Lloyd K Carolina Panthers: The Dutch kickoff specialist who's got good value for 2009.
Ryan Longwell K Minnesota Vikings: Always accurate. Actually improved his leg strength in 2007. I know, I'm surprised too.
Kevin Lovell K Atlanta Falcons: The grandson of beloved astronaut Jim Lovell.
Olindo Mare K Seattle Seahawks: Kicking for his football life. Chris Berman roots for him, so you should not.
Justin Medlock K St. Louis Rams: The greatest African-American kicker of all time.
Taylor Mehlhaff K New Orleans Saints: Voted Most Likely to be this years Mason Crosby by Wisconsin Sports Magazine.
Joe Nedney K San Francisco 49ers: Mike Martz gives kickers opportunity all by himself. Remember that.
Nick Novak K Kansas City Chiefs: Has not shown himself to be as good as Billy Cundiff. Paul Edinger is waiting for him to fall.
Mike Nugent K New York Jets: He plays a rocking game from inside the 40 and on kickoffs. Too bad the Jets are still meek.
Matt Prater K Denver Broncos: Kind of a John Hall type. Big leg, wonky accuracy.
Neil Rackers K Arizona Cardinals: Should know that it's better to live like a king for a day than like a dog for a lifetime. Or something.
Jeff Reed K Pittsburgh Steelers: Jeff Reed's saucy antics always translate to quality kicking.
Josh Scobee K Jacksonville Jaguars: He should be awesome. I mean, his offense can bog down a scoch.
Matt Stover K Baltimore Ravens: Consistently decent, but yet never great. Yeah.
Shaun Suisham K Washington Redskins: Not great, but considering the crap that the Redskins have had kicking? Mediocre is okay.
Lawrence Tynes K New York Giants: Proof poisitive that the slogan "you'll never get a second chance to make a first impression is flawed." See: NFC Title Game.
Adam Vinatieri K Indianapolis Colts: Developing a case of the injury prones. Still great when healthy.
Two more of these. Guess where!
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