In Other News...

Marshall Newhouse is rostered on the Green Bay Packers. So far, his career trajectory has been better than I thought. So, yeah. I was wrong about something.

The League and Owning Your Nerdiness...

Today, I'm here to talk to you about the fantastical football. There will be no mentions of Jahvid Best or Shonn Greene. I'm going to focus my brain and fingers in regards to the FX comedy program. And how now, on this night. I am outing myself as a nerd.

Now, obviously, as I am a guy who once used OPS+ to argue Pete Browning's case for Baseball Hall of Fame induction and has shown you a good comic book or two to read in the past? I've made minimal effort to chase some sort of a perceived cool. But never once have I used a show's technical flaws against it. Rule of Funny/Cool beats Rule of Logic and all that.

Tonight? That all changed. For tonight, there was a simple, who do I start question. Mere moments after It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia ended on a quality "We're Lawyers!" Stephen Ranasazzi asked his TV Wife if he should start Ricky Williams or Toby Gerhart.

I know what you, the unfortunate few who stumbled between desperate photos used to generate hits, must be thinking. What does that matter? I will tell you. Toby Gerhart should not be drafted in an 8 team league. An 8 team league would at most have 40 running backs. But okay, fine, say the young Mr. Stephen ended up with the Purple Jesus and handcuffed Gerhart.

You always go with the guy who isn't the fucking backup. Always. For the love of pete. It would be like a Star Trek Officer asking for Red. It would be like a pro wrestling good guy actually not falling for the Silicone-enhanced heel lady. It would be like Daredevil killing a guy.

But until the writers decide to step their game up and go above and beyond asking Matthew Berry if Kareem Huggins exists? I cannot give these people the time of day.

P.S. To Mark Duplass? BRING ME MORE GOTDAMN MUMBLECORE! THE PUFFY CHAIR = YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS!

Thoughts on a Rivalry...

They say the best villains are mirror images of the hero. Two sides of the same coin. Batman's strict moral code enmeshed with the Joker's nihilism and whatnot. And pro wrestling has the potential to have a classic feud developing between the Miz and Daniel Bryan.

The former Bryan Danielson is someone who represents the self-made wrestler. He's the world traveler. The one who willed himself through a lengthy match with a 300 pound Japanese man beast with a broken eye socket. The one who built a following on the fact that he could wrestle. The one everybody on the internet seemed to hope for success, but half-expected him to fail.

That being said? The Miz is the MTV star. Real World-Road Rules challenge icon. The one who willed himself into tag teaming with Coral whilst Danielson went through the Best of the Super Juniors. The one with the following built on the fact that he made himself into a character. The one the internet seemed to hope for failure, but is delightfully surprised to see that he has a legitimate claim to awesomeness.



And in this one minute? The Miz tells the viewing public why this feud has a real chance to be something memorable. Two sides of the same coin.The Miz has put in a lot of work to be where he is today, and the average fan doesn't realize, and the internet fan would never deign to put him on the same level as the heroic Daniel Bryan. Thus Bryan must pay.

On a pure storytelling level? This has a chance to be a starmaker and a moneymaker. I cannot wait to watch this unfold.

Live from the Portage Public Library!

It's me telling you that this time off is legitimate. As I have been without computer for the last 8 days. It should return at some point this week. Whee.

Five Fantastical Football Thoughts on Quarterbacks

1) The quarterback with the best playoff schedule? Joe Flacco. It’s not as if he’ll be starting too hot this year. But if you’re a contender looking for an insurance policy at QB? Flacco is the one to target. And he now has Anquan Boldin.

2) The quarterback with the easiest starting schedule? Jason Campbell. Yeah, I know, telling someone to take a Raiders quarterback is like telling someone that Plaxico Burress is draftable. But for what it’s worth? Everybody loved Chaz Schilens last year and Darius Heyward-Bey doesn’t seem as useless as he did last year.

3) On schedule alone? The one top-tier quarterback that worries me beyond anyone is Matt Schaub.

4) On schedule alone? Peyton Manning is going to have another boringly awesome year.

5) And if you need a quarterback who’s going to be a fine one-week plug in for the byes? Why not get into the Josh Freeman business. Week 5 at Cincy is marginally good and Week 10 vs. Carolina is probably a recipe for not good, but here’s weeks 6-9. New Orelans, St. Louis, @ Arizona, @ Atlanta. Even a marginally good quarterback can find his way into a good month through that schedule.
Funny how it takes twitter going down to actually get me to blog.

I have one word of advice for Doug Melvin!

Nine games out of first in the NL Central. 10 games out of the wild card slot. Seven teams to leapfrog to get that selfsame Wild Card. And the Milwaukee Brewers have decided that they're all in. Okay, maybe not all in.

But they're not looking to make a deal for a player they're not going to be able to keep or the guy having the career year. And it does not allow for them to get right. Because the fact of the matter? The Brewers are a fundamentally flawed team. It's a lot of power and hoping Yovani Gallardo and rain outs the other four days of the week.

Can you tell me that any other starter has been pitching well for the Brewers? Bush's ERA is about average, but the way his command has been going, that cannot possibly last. Randy Wolf's earned every ounce of terrible that he's been this year. Narveson's been slightly unlucky but not so much where his terrible is defensible. Parra's been okay and Capuano's got too small of a sample size to tell you the whys and wherefores of his year.

You know what? I can see the other side as well. The Brewers don't have to lose Hart and Fielder this year. There are interesting pitchers in free agency that could be affordable. But? Do you really want a Bedard-Pavano-Wellenmeyer free agent class as the answer to the rotation question?

I don't.

In Where I talk Jeremiah Masoli as well as the NCAA Banhammer

Two SEC football posts here.

Masoli: http://ping.fm/jP6or

NCAA Banhammer: http://ping.fm/DVGZD