Dear Joe Buck...

There are many people who don't like you. Lots of reasons as to why. Some legitimate, some not so much. But hey, you're the one who's the face of Fox Broadcasting. We cannot begrudge you that.

But you need to stop the extracirriculars. You're nowhere near the class nor brio of Bob Costas. One, you don't exude charisma. It may be good for broadcasting. You may exude neutrality. But if you're doing a comedy sketch, you need presence. Quite frankly, when it comes to comedy, you can't even muster the modicum of presence that Steve Forbes generated when he hosted SNL.

And Joe, I know you went into the family business. But for crap sake, if you wanted to do a talk show involving sports, you have to like sports. Call this an ad homenem attack if you must, but if Artie Lange hurt you that much? Maybe you need to interview Audrina and LC about lazy eyes and whatever it is LC does.

And that's another thing. The producers told Artie to come out swinging. They could tell light applause from real quality work. Show 2's going to be milquetoast, and then show three they are going to give you the comedy stylings of Norm McDonald. All talk shows from a new source suck early. If you're gonna get better, you're gonna need to wear a helmet.

I mean, I'm no Tom Shales, but I'm still in the audience that this gets marketed to. Get tough, get an identity, or at the very least get rid of the laaaaaaaaaaaame telescope segments.

Because the path you're on does not lead you away from McCarver...and that's what you really want, right?

May the next failure be less epic,

The Grand National Championships

There was one thing I liked about my Milwaukee Brewers 2007 Choke Job

I have a vow never to listen to Joe Buck and Tim McCarver. I play fast and loose with my vows, I'll admit it. But this one has stuck. I will never listen to them broadcast a baseball game ever again.

And with my local sports team about to make it to the playoffs? I was going to have to break the vow. But then the Cubs got in the way. And I've never properly thanked them for it.

Thanks.

Why the backstory? Because Joe Buck was on ESPN Radio today, and he said, we'll let's go to the SOT.

Yeah. Joe Buck can't be bothered to give a shit about Major League Baseball. It would be fine, if he wasn't Fox's national voice for the game or something. God, I sandbag on Ron Santo because he's homerism over any semblance of professionalism, but you know what? He at least brings enthusiasm for the game.

Now? Joe Buck is nothing more than Billy Packer. Fox? Give him that Spike Ferestein half hour and get him out of my life, okay?

Okay.