Dear Joe Buck...

There are many people who don't like you. Lots of reasons as to why. Some legitimate, some not so much. But hey, you're the one who's the face of Fox Broadcasting. We cannot begrudge you that.

But you need to stop the extracirriculars. You're nowhere near the class nor brio of Bob Costas. One, you don't exude charisma. It may be good for broadcasting. You may exude neutrality. But if you're doing a comedy sketch, you need presence. Quite frankly, when it comes to comedy, you can't even muster the modicum of presence that Steve Forbes generated when he hosted SNL.

And Joe, I know you went into the family business. But for crap sake, if you wanted to do a talk show involving sports, you have to like sports. Call this an ad homenem attack if you must, but if Artie Lange hurt you that much? Maybe you need to interview Audrina and LC about lazy eyes and whatever it is LC does.

And that's another thing. The producers told Artie to come out swinging. They could tell light applause from real quality work. Show 2's going to be milquetoast, and then show three they are going to give you the comedy stylings of Norm McDonald. All talk shows from a new source suck early. If you're gonna get better, you're gonna need to wear a helmet.

I mean, I'm no Tom Shales, but I'm still in the audience that this gets marketed to. Get tough, get an identity, or at the very least get rid of the laaaaaaaaaaaame telescope segments.

Because the path you're on does not lead you away from McCarver...and that's what you really want, right?

May the next failure be less epic,

The Grand National Championships