Sunday, September 20, 2009

The Seven Things I learned about College Football.

Another interesting lesson coming up on us this week. I took the week at half-speed. Florida took the week at half-speed. I laid my hands upon a man with a bad back and he yelled, "I'm the King of Spain!"

But I digress.

7. Cal better not relax.

Sure, with the running back who's the best around? They should be fine when Oregon comes around. That being said? USC got jumped by Washington. This means they're going to be at their best for Cal. Jahvid Best is a freak of nature, but this is the sort of team that puts out their Combat Rock album in mid-October.

6. Bold prediction: Cincinnati will run the table.

It's not really bold per se, but I would be stunned if they lost. Brian Kelly's built a real program here. The biggest upset in the Big East would be if they weren't the Champions. Pike to Gilyard and Cincy goes hard. Or something like that.

5. If Jacory Harris gets to the Florida A&M game undefeated?

Three things will occur. One, The U will officially be back, as they have played the ACC contenders and Oklahoma. Two, you would have to consider Jacory Harris as a Heisman contender. The third thing? It will cause the world to end, as it will have meant Chris Rix will have seen something before it has developed.

4. And Speaking of Florida State?

That BYU as National Title Contenders meme sure lasted long, didn't it?

3. With the ball in his hands?

Joe Cox is a bad man. Living in the streets with his hands? He's a bad man. He may not show it, but he does have humorously large testicles.

2. Lost amidst the suck vortex that is Jonathan Crompton?

Is the redemption of Chris Todd. With Gus Malzahn calling the plays? Gene Chizik will double his career win total. By October.

1. Game of next week?

I know that the bottom of the ACC should be fired now. But you know what? It's kind of a dull week next week. I know Bama-Arkansas will be fun. And the Houston for BCS meme will get rolling if Case Keenum can outduel Taylor Potts. But South Florida lost Matt Groethe for the year (Ewing theory?) as they play Florida State. So you know what? It's Miami Virginia Tech.

And if an upset happens? That's why it's called an upset.

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