I have a strange relationship with a video game.

I do. Me and Super Mario Brothers 3 have had a strange relationship for going on two decades now. It all started when in a ski lodge arcade in the hinterlands of Wisconsin. Twenty-five cents got me five minutes with The Dark Knight of Nintendo sequels.

And that's how it started. Cut to my 9th birthday? And it came home. And I started playing. My hands have never been mistaken for a surgeons, so I was steady with my play. My skill grew as I got to the Giant world, and the sky world. Heck, I even put up 70 million plus points in getting to level 6 alone.

But it broke. That is the old NES. Not as durable as the kid hoped.

BUT I GOT THE SUPER NINTENDO! AND WITH THAT CAME SUPER MARIO ALL-STARS!

*cue the Dropkick Murphys music*

And the kid finally. FINALLY! Got past the Castle of horrors. And got past the last tank. And I got to Boswer. I had the fucking P-wing. And I got to Boswer.

I lost. And I lost 73 more times.

I never achieved those heights again. I never even tried again.

Now I sim seasons of Madden in Franchise mode. And it's all because of Mario 3.