Thursday, May 21, 2009

10 Things I Know About the Movies

I have other interests besides sports, you know. I like movies. I like awesome video games, (and Awesome Video Games). I also like you, the loyal reader who isn't here for the photos of attractive women. But here, I like movies. And I have to tell you. I know who killed the Western.

It stems from 3:10 to Yuma. I loved 3:10 to Yuma. Mister Patterson loved 3:10 to Yuma. No one else seems to have.

Disappointing? Yeah. The movie was awesome. But because I don't like it, doesn't mean I can't understand it.

America's taste in movies has been retarded. And blame Joel Silver for that.

Joel Silver created the unwritten rule that every ten minutes there had to be a whiz-bang aces hot action sequence. You open fast. The inciting incident has to be faster. Minute 21 has to rock. And so on, and so on.

And when Cokehead superproducer and tag team partner CSI magnate Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer ran with this premise? It was Katie bar the door. Whiz bang action and medicore storytelling would rule the day!

And movies became a whole different animal.

This killed the Western. Even an action based Western such as the modern day 3:10 to Yuma could not have a gunfight in every ten minutes. They are built for inherent tension building toward the end. Maybe there's heat at minute 10, 30, and 55, but it's all about the end. It's all about that last sequence.

The Western is not about awesome at minute 70. It's High Noon and all that shit.

Sad, really. A good genre dies because we can't be patient.

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