Ooooooooooopening Day.

Opening Day for the Brewers wasn't fun. You know it. I know it. But to properly dissect it? You need to get a real journalist.

Keith Morrison reporting.



Keith Morrison:Opening day. It's full of hope. It's full of dreams. For the Milwaukee Brewers, there was a sense of optimism even despite the high-profile defections. After all, they made the playoffs last season.

But little did they know, that what they thought was a light at the end of the tunnel, was merely a poorly pitched baseball.



Ken Macha: I went with experience on Opening Day. Soup has a tendency to pitch to contact--



KM:Was there trouble at home?



Macha: Nah, Soup's a gamer, he'll work through his struggles.



KM: Oohh.

But that wasn't the only problem. The Brewers had more than 20 at bats with a runner close scoring. Ooooooooooooooh. They just didn't hit in the clutch. J.J. Hardy alone hit into two double plays.



JJ: Okay, so I tried too hard to bring the runners home. I'll admit it. Bobby Howry just got me out.

KM: Out for dinner at Fisherman's Wharf?

JJ: ...Nooo. It's a long season. I had a bad day today. I'll be better tomorrow.

KM: I'm more interested in today. Has a handsome man such as yourself ever dined with a respected newsman?

JJ: Yes.

KM: Well I'm going to First Crush. No pressure, I just want to talk further.




KM: The Brewers lost 10 to 6. Yovani Gallardo will start tomorrow. J.J. Hardy? He never showed...

Ohhhhhhhhhhh!