The Lakers are much like the Celtics. You know they're good. Am I right? Right. But the zen master has a plan.
Kobe Bryant will infuse himself with super soldier serum.
Lamar Odom will be traded for Shawn Marion.
Pau Gasol will finally lick his grandma's empanada recipe.
Andrew Bynum will learn about Bionics from playing Bionic Commando.
Derek Fisher will do nothing but be dignified.
The Fake McCain victim will start stalking Luke Walton.
Vladimir Radmanovic spent the summer with his cousin Niko. He learned Gangster Dracula Toughness.
Jordan Farmar will finally get Ellie Seckbach laid. (Why not me bro? Why not me?)
Josh Powell will design a pow-pow-powerful car.
And as for the Machine? His hair will make him tough.
Sean Salisbury will kill me if I make them anything but a finals...finalist. So. Yeah. Get that.