Listen...I'll be honest...

I'm a political nerd. It, along with my other nerdly vices make me a hit at parties and other social gatherings. But that being said?

527's need people who don't want to make you punch the screen with their annoying smarmyness. And this is entirely for a local campaign. Yes, this post IS completely unreadable.

But that being said? If you're going to have an ad that's going to waft through the cable systems like a rancid cheese and it's not going to be based on facts that no one with any neutral background would give a fuck about? You need to have someone who can read a line.

One line. Just one line. You don't need to be Marlon Brando. You don't need to be James Lipton. Hell, you only have to cut a promo with the gravitas of WWE high-flying superstar Evan Bourne. (Two-percenter joke for the kids.)

But since the Grater Wisconsin Committee couldn't be bothered to have someone deliver a passable line read. I have to endorse an old-fart Wisconsinite in a Cowboy Hat.

This is why I can't have nice things. Because your TV makes my head hurt. And the Greater Wisconsin Committee lost Fred Clark the election.

Boobs to follow.