An NBA Preview in 5 words or less...

Well, five words or less per team. Because that would be impossible the other way. So, let's talk hoop shall we?



Atlantic Division
Celtics: Who replaces James Posey?
Nets: At least fun to watch.
Knicks: A personnel mess.
76ers: A big three, Celtics Style?
Raptors: A healthy Jermaine O'Neal? Nonexistent.



Central Division
Bulls: John Paxson, trade a guard!
Cavaliers: Enter a second scoring option.
Pistons: A slump equals fire sale.
Pacers: Character equals mediocre.
Bucks: First-round playoff loser.



Southeast Division
Hawks: Can build off playoff battle.
Bobcats: Youth brings Larry Brown redemption.
Heat: 3 stars and nothing else.
Magic: A wide window of opportunity.
Wizards: Agent Zero, becoming a problem.



Southwest Division
Mavericks: The John McCain of basketball.
Rockets: McGrady's health is the engine.
Grizzlies: A team in shambles.
Hornets: James Posey's Veteran Intangibles!
Spurs: Meet the EA Curse.



Northwest Division
Nuggets: Too much machismo to win.
Timberwolves: Year 2 rebuilding brings hope.
Trailblazers: Everbody's on their jock.
Thunder: The Kevin Durant show.
Jazz: Quickly closing window of opportunity.



Pacific Division
Warriors: No point to them.
Clippers: Feast or famine? Feast.
Lakers: Kobe's gonna break this year.
Suns: Robert Sarver murdered them.
Kings: Kevin Martin stick-figure smile time!

Some cryptic, some funny, some real analysis. Let's be honest. It's honest.

Working on my issues.