Monday, July 14, 2008

I didn't want to have to do this, but y'all leave me no choice...

Brett Favre. I know where I was when he came back to beat the Bengals. I know where he was when he finally got the duke against the Cowboys. I know where I was when he first talked of 2002.

This is why I knew this was going to happen. I knew we couldn't go through a spring and summer without any Brett Favre baby QB1 drama. And the fact is? I was sick and tired of it two years ago. This is wearing on my got damn last nerve.

Brett screwed Brett.

The stupidest thing he did was retire. By far and flat out. See, here's the thing, we did not care about the 27 conflicting off-season Mort reports in the great state of Wisconsin. We had our boy Favre. And he was more golden than a fellational Peter King column.

Because he came back. He always came back. But he decided to quit it. Indecision was a way for him to have the Packers fawn over him. Hick Hamlet suited him. But now?

Now everybody's reading between the lines. And the subtext is annoying. He retired to get out of Green Bay because he couldn't handle the cold anymore. That's my read on the situation. Favre retired because he was not man enough to say he was unhappy.

We would have been hurt. And yet? We would have been able to work through it. We've done it before in Wisconsin. We'll do it again. We're lovable doormats.

Do you still love me? Maybe.

Not to say that the Packers couldn't have shown that they've had any level of balls outside of the draft room. I mean in 2005, after his worst year by far, the Packers had a 36 year-old who was more coquettish than a ingenue on her first audition. They could have pulled a band aid and released Favre with minimal repriesal. We know what would have happened in 2007 and how awesome he was.

But that's 20/20 hindsight. And now? They've got a diva who wants his release. Now I'll admit it, the Packers are playing this perfectly. Favre screwed up, and the Packers have him drawing essentially dead. He can be as big of a distraction as he wants to be?

The Packers are used to this shit.

Have you ever found yourself working a Beer Tent?

You learn to hate drunken idiots. You don't need constant exposure to Mike Vanderjagt for that shit. Just get enough white trash together to get drunk and listen to a cover band, and you're golden.

But in Wisconsin? You get professional drunks, and you get professional idiots. Now those of you versed in Blogfrica know all about Pee Your Pants for the Brewers. That's 100% idiocy.

Bring Back Brett Favre is gonna be close. Now, at least this is not a motive of pure profitmaking. However, I have several questions for the brethren of leadership.

1. Do you think Brett Favre is going to be at the level that he was in 2007?

2. Do you think that he wants to come back and play for the Pack?

3. Do you think that him not feeling the love is something that's anybody's fault but his own?

4. Do you think Aaron Rodgers is going to be a bust?

I'm not saying that wanting Brett Favre back is a sin. I'm not saying that rallyinhg for your hero is problematic. I'm just saying you need to be realistic about this thing. Favre's just as bad as Thompson.

I hate this situation. I hate having to say this. But there are no goddamn heroes here. And I would rather shoot myself in the head if I have to do another one of these posts.

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